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TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact “Is this guy for real?” Lucy Beach uttered to herself after the man in the seat in front of her put his seat back as soon as the fasten seat-belt sign went off. While the dickhead in 12C isn’t breaking any real aviation laws, it’s the unwritten code of flying that he’s just broken. Now, not only does Lucy...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local man with a sensitive little belly has allowed the little devil on his shoulder to talk him into doing something he really shouldn’t today. The 20-something engineer from Betoota Heights named Levi Davis did so down at his local corner store today, blocking out the voice of reason and the voice of his girlfriend. Davis did...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The iconic Notre Dame cathedral has been significantly damaged in a fire that has ripped through its roof and spire but the priceless collection of artwork inside has been recovered and authorities say the structure has been saved from total destruction. The iconic Parisian tourists attraction was engulfed in flames just after it closed for the day. One fire...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local woman who has been a little bit Slim Dusty today, has just had her 12 hour Game Of Thrones Marathon interrupted briefly by a young man on a pushy. Speaking to The Advocate just moments ago as she hoovered up a takeaway container of Pad Thai, young Lucy Hannah from Betoota's French Quarter explained today has been...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact A marketing executive at mainstream brewery “Boggs” has been labelled as a marketing genius after they made the call to give away a free hat with the purchase of a $48 case of beer. In order to engage better with their market of alcoholic baby boomers, Boggs marketing executive Tom Hanslow (30) made the decision to include a sweatshop...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In some exciting news for the science world, the first ever image of a black hole has been captured today. The incredible scientific breakthrough which has finally proven beyond doubt that black holes exist was released today by the Event Horizon Telescope team. The image which dropped this morning was an exclusive shot of the NBN Co's Balance...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With last night's Four Corners exposè providing even greater insight into the limited brain function of Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton, the Member For Dickson has been officially bestowed the exclusive and hard-fought title as 'the dumbest cunt in politics'. This has been decided upon by general consensus, as the nation takes into account Dutton's ability to continually be...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Extra-terrestrial researchers had their life’s ambition ripped away from them at the last minute today after an unidentified flying object heading for Earth chucked a u-ey at the last minute.  Reports from the secret research lab outside Betoota indicate that the researchers are devastated and can’t for the life of them figure out what could have caused the change...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local man has today demonstrated to all of his colleagues why he is the office funny guy. Bradley Thomas did so a short time ago at a popular Old City District establishment when he banged his beer on the spout of a fellow drinkers beer, causing their drink to overflow everywhere and make a mess. Immediately after...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The nation's Nightwatchman has today officially ruled out taking Julian Assange in from the London cold. While commentators expected this would be the case, Scott Morrison did confirm the fact that Australia wouldn't offer any assistance to the Wikileaks founder who is set to be turfed out of the Ecuadorian Embassy today and arrested. Assange's expulsion from the...