The Nation

Catholic Waiting For Apology From Media To Wait Longer Than Moses Wandered The Desert

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An uppity cattle tick from our town's north has said the media, including this masthead, should apologise for participating in the journalist stacks on of Cardinal George Pell. Greg Burgundy, a lisping uptown boy who was railroaded into participating in these largely pagan traditions by...

Impromptu Computer Bonfire Begins In The Betoota Advocate’s Carpark After High Court Decision

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A decision in the High Court this morning has lead to staff here at The Advocate carrying almost every piece of technology out into the carpark where it is to be set alight. Maurice Overell, this masthead's in-house counsel, set the pile of computers on...

Successful Concreter Rejoices As PM Declares Hooning About On A Jetski Is Considered Exercise

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In what his political counterparts have denounced as a 'special condition' catered for his own electorate in South East Sydney, Scott Morrison today announced that hooning about on a jetski is considered exercise. Speaking to the media this morning from Cronulla, the Prime Minister said...

Comrade Dutton Begins Hunger Strike In Protest Of Mistreatment Of Offshore Detainees Like Him

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Home affairs minister and recent human-rights activist Peter Dutton is reported to be on a hunger strike while being held in Quarantine at Christmas Island Detention Centre. Dutton has been detained against his will, with no timeline for release, since March 13, after testing positive for COVID-19 when he...

Housebound City Worker About Ready To Start Working In The City Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The novelty of working from home has worn off for one local father this morning, who said he's about ready to start heading into the city again for work. Doug Merchant prefaced that statement by telling The Advocate that he loves his family but as...

Without A Pub To Visit This Afternoon, This 29-Year-Old Has Resorted To Making His Own Bread

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact He rolled his eyes and forced a laugh. "I'm not an alcoholic," he said. "As if I'd just sit at home all by myself and put away 13 pints. I only ever really drink at the pub with the boys. Maybe I...

WA Premier Mark McGowan Blows State’s Official Kazoo To Call All West Australians Home

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact On Sunday night, the West will become an island within a country. Those were the words of Western Australian Premier, Mark McGowan. In the moments after he made that announcement, he pulled a hot pink kazoo from his suit pocket. "This is...

Wife Really Good At Her Job

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT According to the Department Of Health, there have been 5,224 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Australia as of 6:30 am this morning. Of the 5,224 confirmed cases in Australia, 23 have died from COVID-19. More than 270,000 tests have been conducted across Australia. There have been 248 new cases...

Aspen Ski Bunny Completes First Gruelling Week Imprisoned At The Sydney Hilton

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Her kids stocked the beach house pantry and made sure their parents wouldn't long for anything during their state-imposed isolation. But plans changed. Denise and Doug Klein-Ross had their plans to spend the self-isolation period at their Lake Betoota beach house derailed...

Bogan Mate Offers ‘Telling A Current Affair’ As A Solution To Minor Grievance

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local woman has unwittingly caused major drama for herself after complaining about a minor grievance to the wrong person, it’s reported. Tegan Port tells our reporter that she’d had a bad run-in with a hairdresser. After having a whinge with a...

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