The Nation

“You’ve Wasted Another Year Of Your Life,” Says Supermarket By Starting To Stock Mince Pies

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Walking into the Old City District's Kellett's Gunsmith & Grocers on Market Street and the many things that catch the eye will say that winter is ending and the spring is starting. As it hasn't rained again this winter, spring is expected to be just...

Palaszczuk To Pardon All Cops Charged During Fitzgerald Inquiry If They Help Bash Some Hippies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland police will have new powers to search protesters they suspect of possessing so-called "locking devices", under new laws to be introduced to State Parliament Annastacia Palaszczuk told Parliament the protester crackdown comes on advice from the Police Commissioner, as Brisbane becomes the coalface for protesting irresponsible policy...

NSW Government Announces Plans To Repurpose Faulty Sydney High-Rises Into Tourist Attractions

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some good news for dodgy developers, the NSW Government has unveiled exciting new plans for faulty skyrises today. Speaking to reporters from the Developers Republic of Sydney this morning, Premier Gladys Berejiklian revealed the plans to turn structurally unsound high rises into tourist attractions.

True Horror Of Brexit Realised As Youth Mobility Pom Nervously Googles ‘Permanent Resident’

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of our town's weirdest looking people, who is unsurprisingly English, has tentatively searched for how one becomes a 'Permanent Resident' of Australia, after leaked government documents suggest the consequences of a no-deal Brexit would be disastrous. Miles Alabath, originally from England's hellish Midlands region,...

White Lady Funerals Definitely Not Pulling Their Advertisements From Alan Jones

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Big name advertisers for Macquarie Media are continuing to drop off in their boycott Alan Jones over his controversial “shove a sock down her throat” tirade about New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. The 78-year-old former Wallabies coach turned Liberal Party speech writer slash lifelong conservative talk radio figure's...

Growing Calls For Plebiscite On Duel Of The Fates Replacing Advance Australia Fair

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Momentum is building for a new plebiscite on whether Advance Australia Fair should remain as the nation's national anthem; the front runner to replace it being Duel of the Fates, a four-minute song composed by American John Williams in 1999. Duel of the Fates is...

Australia The Only Signatory Of Tuvalu Summit’s She’ll Be Right Agreement On Climate Change

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the Prime Minister returned home from the tiny Pacific nation of Tuvalu last week, in his briefcase was a copy of the historic She'll Be Right Agreement on Climate Change. The only signature on it was his own. ScoMo, the Prime Minister, drafted the...

Pensioner Lives In Fear That He’ll Put In A Gulag Like The Rich Boomers Will Be One Day

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights pensioner has told The Advocate this afternoon that he's constantly concerned by the media's portrayal of Baby Boomers, saying that not all Boomers are rich. Rodney Taylor, of Rockview Street, has been on the single aged-pension since he retired in 2011. The...

Rugby Australia’s Marketing Pigeon Fired

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Just hours after being captured by socks down country boy Chris Latham, Rugby Australia's new media pigeon has been fired on the spot. The pigeon has shouldered the blame for the 36-nil flogging the Wallabies received in Auckland tonight, telling staff he's sorry for letting the team down.

Bledisloe Hero Chris Latham Catches Rugby Australia A New Marketing Pigeon

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Socks down country boy Chris Latham pulled the boots back on this afternoon and caught Rugby Australia a new marketing pigeon just in time for tonight’s do-or-die Bledisloe clash at Eden Park. The All Blacks haven’t lost at the ground since 1994 and the Wallabies...

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