The Nation

“Have You Been To Revolver?” Asks Mate Returning From Melbourne With 1000-Yard Stare

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Notorious loose cannon Tim Wells has just returned from his first ever trip to Melbourne. The Brisbane local had started his Friday with an obligatory drop into Naked For Satan, when all of a sudden he found himself deep in the bellows of Prahran’s least exclusive nightclub, Revolver....

Education Department Investigating School Principal Accused Of Not Wearing Big Enough Scarf

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Education Queensland is currently investigating a local primary school principal for allegedly breaching staff policy this week. The allegations centre around Betoota Heights Primary School principal Janine Withers walking around school grounds without a giant scarf. The department is currently still deciding whether to...

Nation Left Confused By Dinosaur Who Disagrees With Protesting Mass Extinction

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A prominent dinosaur has raised eyebrows across the country today. One of the last remaining dinosaurs of the Late Daytimetellyaurasic period did so after lashing out at people protesting against mass extinction. Angered by the actions of the Extinction Rebellion movement who have disrupted...

Travel Savvy Young Couple Budget In Extra Few Hundred To Get From Airport Into The City

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Getting away for the long weekend is something every young couple dreams of, usually to the East coast of our great state, but sometimes people decide to go South. Tammy and Nick Ackley are a young couple who made the mistake of heading south, to Melbourne to be precise.

Malcolm Heckled By Passing Range Rovers As He Strolls Bondi In Old T-Shirt Lucy Found At Home

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time since he had to pretend he didn't care about gay marriage or climate change in order to secure the support of the Liberals far-right faction, Malcolm Turnbull has found himself in the bizarre predicament of not being very well received by his fellow Eastern Suburbs neighbours.

Milk Emoji Getting A Hammering In Daily Telegraph Comments

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the Grand Final hype now at fever pitch, it can be confirmed that there has been a serious spike in milk emojis going round. As the Raiders bandwagon reaches nigh on full capacity, the Daily Telegraph have confirmed that they've been copping the brunt...

Drought-Stricken Farmer In Ice-Ravaged Town Comforted By PM’s New Plans For Mars Exploration

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A rapidly ageing farmer has had a moment of Zen this week. The 34-year-old father of two named Nick Burns said his troubles all went away last night when he remembered that man might be going to Mars. Needlessly anxious about climate change and...

“I Reckon Roosters Are Favourites” Says Professional Gambler

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local handicapper, Ernie Coughlan (45), has today graciously filled in his close-knit circle of halfwit punters with the good oil. According to Ernie, this weekend's NRL grand final could easily be snatched by the same team that won it last year. It's a bold call but he's looked at...

Melbourne Prepares To See Real Greater Western Sydney Giants In The Wild

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With UFC 243 taking place this weekend in Melbourne's Marvel Stadium, the Victorian capital remains culturally relevant in the eyes of the rest of the nation for one week longer than usual. With the AFL Grand Final in the rear view, the city now looks to host a bloodbath...

Toowoomba Resident Confuses Motorists By Correctly Using Indicator In Accordance With QLD Law

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Third-generation Toowoomba resident Laurel Coorey-Wagner (55) has today sent shockwaves through The Garden City by using the turn signal lever that protrudes out of the right side of her steering wheel. Laurel was just returning home from dropping the grandkids off at footy practice this afternoon when she took...

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