The Nation

David Koch Forced To Shoot Beloved Cash Cow As Drought Worsens

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Breakfast television presenter, David 'Kochie' Koch broke down this morning on Sunrise as he recounted the heartbreaking story of being told by network executives that he'd have to shoot his beloved Cash Cow. Despite working tirelessly to feed the financially-reckless bovine, the drought's grip proved to be too tight around the throat of the nation's...

Hollywood Torn Between Another Novelty All-Female Remake Or Writing Strong Female Characters

INGRID DOULTON | Women's Editor | CONTACT Hollywood has confirmed today that it is toying with the idea of working on some solid plot lines based around female characters, that don't in anyway mirror previous films already made about men. The engine room for Western Cinema has opened up about the internal conflict it is currently going through in regards to women on the big...

Bachelor Producers Gently Explain To Badger That The Logan Hyperdome Isn’t Ideal For A Date

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the opening night of yet another unmissable television event, The Bachelor AU, It has been reported that Channel 10 producers are working flat out to curate the romance-element of the show. Former Rugby Union star, Nick 'The Honey Badger' Cummins has wowed audiences and contestants with his cutesy larrikin demeanour, but showrunners say they are increasingly nervous that...

Nation Ashamed To Admit That We Miss Malcolm Roberts

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a humiliating twist, Australia has been forced to admit that former One Nation senator Malcolm Roberts actually wasn't that bad in hindsight, after his replacement started spruiking genocidal nazi ideology in his maiden speech. Australians from all sides of the political spectrum are now of the belief that even with his anti-NASA agenda, at least Malcolm Roberts didn't...

Sky News Assure Senator Anning That There’s A Job Waiting For Him Whenever He’s Ready

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The fearless and brave content directors at Murdoch's Sky News have today extended the olive branch to embattled Federal Senator Fraser Anning, assuring him that when his political career inevitably goes to shit, they will be more than willing to pay him 65k per year to spruik his political views on his very own TV show. "We just want...

Christopher Pyne Denies Getting Lip Fillers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As both houses of Federal Parliament melt down over comments made by two silver-haired geriatrics with zero influence on anything, The Minister For Defence has successfully managed to avoid questions relating to his suspiciously plump lips. Returning to Canberra for the Parliamentary sitting week, Christopher Pyne MP appears to have undergone a bit of non-surgical augmentation on his lips. "Absolutely...

Peter Dutton Accuses Fraser Anning Of Plagiarism

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Minister for Home Affairs, Peter Dutton, has today accused Senator Anning of plagiarism after he used his maiden speech last night to call for a complete overhaul of the immigration system, insisting most migrants should be from a European Christian background and all Muslims should be banned. Dutton joins many other politicians both houses of the Federal Parliament in condemning...

Protected: Miranda Devine Says Explicit Sex Scenes In New Puppet Movie Proof Of Damage SSM Has Done

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact News Corp Columnist and ‘common sense’ defender Miranda Devine has blasted the new film, The Happytime Murders today. Struggling to find a way to link the plastic bag ban to the ‘controversial’ Safe Schools program, Devine set her sights on the new movie. In a piece titled “Not Even Kids Are Safe...

“We’re The Most Successful Multicultural Country In The World, Except For Melbourne, I’m Told”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has today declared himself a proud multiculturalist, in the wake of a Katter newest senator's comments that insinuated that we should only allow white people to migrate here. Turnbull joins both houses of the Federal Parliament have widely condemned Queensland senator Fraser Anning for advocating a return to the White Australia policy and using Nazi...

Fraser Anning Apologises To Party For Not Focusing On Those Crocodiles Who Keep Tearing People Apart

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Speaking today from Far North Queensland, despite it being a sitting day for both the House of Representatives and the Senate, under siege maverick politician Bob Katter has broken his silence on Senator Fraser Anning - who yesterday generated profound and widespread condemnation by using a term once used by the Nazis. After telling journalists that the...

Social

537,047FansLike
284,942FollowersFollow
21,299FollowersFollow

Breaking News