The Nation

Pink Cowboy Hat Salesman Moves Into Mansion After A Prosperous Year Of Barbie, Harry Styles, Taylor Swift, Mardi Gras And Upcoming Beyonce Country Album

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Sydney based novelty shop owner has revealed he may never have to work ever again, after selling roughly 250,000 pink cowboy hats in the past 12 months. Speaking to The Advocate, Sean Reynolds, 52, says his pink cowboy hats had always done well, but that the market really exploded when the Barbie movie came out - and it...

Interstate Flights Back To Normal Levels Of Price Gouging After Taylor Swift Leaves Australia

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAussies will be relieved to hear that the cost of interstate travel has returned to normal levels of price gouging, now that pop sensation Taylor Swift has left the country to continue her worldwide tour in Singapore. Having sold out her five stadium tours in Sydney and Melbourne, Swift’s tour saw hundreds of thousands of Australians (and poor New...

Tasmanian Election Comes Down To One Issue: Should The Magic Elves Of Huon Valley Be Left Undisturbed?

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT On day 12 of the Tasmanian state election campaign, the Liberal Party has announced a plan to continue for road safety measures, while the Labor has promised to feed Tasmanian kids. Will Tasmanian Premier Jeremy Rockliff – Australia’s last remaining Liberal Premier – hold onto power after the March 23 election date, or will he be retired by the...

“These Swifties Are Obnoxious” Says Man Who Yells “Kick You Fucking Donkey” At Pub TV Every Saturday

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local arbiter of good taste has today offered up his unsolicited thoughts on the Swiftiemania currently sweeping the country. Michael Grieve (29) from our town's Betoota Heights' district has informed The Advocate this morning that he just can't deal with all these Swifities carrying on. "Mate, they are so extra," said the bloke who vomited on the...

Dad Finally Starting To Get Into The Taylor Singalongs During 6 Hour Train Commute Back To Central

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTAmerican pop sensation Taylor Swift is reported to have a new fan this evening as a local Dad finally admits he’s become one of the converted. Steve Hodges (48) of Tempe is one of the many fathers in Australia who’s been subject to relentless hours of road trip torture over the Christmas break, forced to play nothing...

Report: Homebush Hasn’t Seen This Many Horse Girls Since The 2000 Olympics Equestrian Events

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTIn breaking news from the harbour city, Sydney’s public transport system is on standby to completely buckle this weekend as the city prepares for the world’s largest parade of horse girls. With over 300,000 Swifties making the pilgrimage out to Accor Stadium at Olympic Park, and another casual 50,000+ expected to run the concrete picnic option and...

Tasmanians Asked One More Time If They Are Sure They Don’t Want A Multimillion Dollar Stadium 

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With a state election campaign currently underway, news reading mainlanders have received a timely reminder that Tasmania is in fact real. At the time of writing, Tasmania is billions of dollars in debt with the highest youth unemployment, a healthcare system on the brink of collapse and a community housing system with backlogs in the thousands, it’s about time...

Manly Deny Vegas Trip Has Anything To Do With Escaping Sydney On Mardi Gras Weekend

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles have been in embroiled in another scandal this week, after damning allegations have come to light. The NRL club from Sydney's Northern Beaches has been accused of paying big money to get a ticket on the Vegas NRL card. It's believed the insular peninsular organisation coughed up to try and get their players out...

Brazilian BBQ Waiter Shakes Head In Disgust After Patron That’s Eaten 4kg Of Red Meat Finally Taps Out

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A bearded chungus who put away over four-kilos of red meat in one sitting has let down the man feeding him today down at the Rubens Barbecuechello Grill in the French Quarter. After filling up on cheese balls and rice before the main show started, senior network engineer Dane Cochrane had to dig deep in...

Woman Who Turns Tomato Red When She Exercises Definitely Not Trying That Run Club Dating Trend

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local single woman has today confirmed she has absolutely no interest in trying to find a man via one of these ‘run clubs’ she’d read about in the news, for the sheer reason that she looks like absolute dog shit when she exercises. Despite seeing multiple Tik Toks and articles about people finding love on the run, Tilly...

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