The Nation

Labor Opting For The Matt Dunning Drop Goal Campaign Strategy

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Bill Shorten's election campaign was derailed earlier this week after the jarheaded Victorian misheard a question about superannuation, the nation's media reported. However, a number of sources from within the ALP have revealed to The Advocate that this latest stumble by Bill is all part...

Depressing Gluten-Free Hot Cross Buns Accurately Depicts How Local Man Feels On The Inside

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local Baby Boomer with a penchant for baked goods has sighed long and hard this afternoon after his workplace felt it pertinent to serve up gluten-free hot cross buns this Easter. "Why?" he asked himself. For some reason, The Advocate's sales...

Universe Rewards Environmentally-Conscious Coffee Consumer With Yet Another Stained Shirt

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "You fuck-arse fucking keepcuck!" he yelled halfway down aisle six of the French Quarter Harris Farm. "Owwwwww! Fuck! Fuck's sake! Jumping Jesus on a fucking pogostick, another fucking shirt ruined!" Two semi-retired day-shopping boomer fucks fishing for the best-looking ugly pick sweet...

Bachelor Producer Hopes Same-Sex Hookup Is Enough For People To Forget About MAFS

INGRID DOULTON | Television| Contact A sadist who moonlights at a Bachelor In Paradise producer has revealed to The Advocate that she hopes last night's same-sex hookup is enough for viewers to start taking her show seriously. Producer Tina Davis explained to our reporter that her team has been trying to...

Liberals Quell Leadership Quarrells By Placing Abbott Into Simulation Where He’s Still PM

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The executive council of the federal Liberal Party have doused one of the leadership spot fires that's emerged in the lead up to this year's election by placing former Prime Minister Tony Abbott into a simulated 'Oculus Rift' reality where he's still in the top job.

Coworker Officially Becomes Interesting After Revealing She Never Got Into Game Of Thrones

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local woman named Aleesha Hipgrave has today let the rest of her office know that she's actually a really interesting person who doesn't just 'fall in line with what everyone else is doing.' This comes after she officially made herself interesting, and told her colleagues that she actually...

Bill Shorten Under Fire For Allegedly Spending Campaign Funds On Calf Implants

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The incoming Prime Bradbury of Australia is under fire today for peeling cash out of the ALP campaign kitty, in an effort to improve his outdoor aesthetics. The leader of the Opposition and Big Bang Theory megafan, is facing questions about misusing the party's campaign funds for his own...

Local GoT Pirate Says He’d Rather Go Out Like Oberyn Martell Than Subscribe To Foxtel

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact If the police want to stop French Quarter man Damien Steep from pirating game of thrones, they'll have to come round his place and shoot him. That's what the 25-year-old told our reporters this morning, just hours after he admitted to pirating the latest episode...

Clive Palmer Vows To Build Full-Size Replica Of Notre Dame Cathedral On The Sunshine Coast

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Locally-unpopular populist Clive Palmer, who is gunning for a seat in the lower house at this year's election, has responded to the ongoing disaster in Paris overnight that's seen one of the world's most iconic places of worship partially destroyed by fire. The Notre Dame...

Senator Derryn Hinch Uses Parliamentary Privilege To Read Out Game Of Thrones Spoilers

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Senator Derryn Hinch has used parliamentary privilege this afternoon to read out a list of Game of Thrones spoilers to the protest of his colleagues in the Upper House. Although today is not a sitting day in the red room, some senators are still in...

Social

630,773FansLike
419,175FollowersFollow
33,824FollowersFollow

Breaking News