The Nation

Girl Feeling Cheated After Jury Duty Turns Out To Be For Some Lame White-Collar Shit

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Kate Swan may be the only person ever to get excited about being called up for jury duty. In bucking the Australian trend, she hasn’t even attempted to make up an excuse to get out of it. However, Kate’s excitement was shattered into a thousand tiny pieces after the case she has been assigned to turned out to be some...

‘My Shout’ Jokes Office Joker At Work Chrissy Party With Unlimited Bar Tab

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Even though literally every single person at the pub is aware that the boss has put his card over the bar for the End Of Year party, one local legend is pretending like he didn't. The Lord Betoota Hotel is today hosting a local poster printing company - who appear to be really 'taking advantage' of the free drinks...

After Her Entire Family Cut Her Off, Conspiracist Now Focusing On Remote Aboriginal Communities

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Melbourne-based wellness guru, Klyda Schope (44) says spreading the word of medical skepticism isn’t a job for the faint-hearted. First, you have to reconcile with estranging yourself from every health worker in your extended family by turning your social media pages into binfires of hurtful comments. Then you have to make peace with the fact that your freedom rallies mean...

29-Year-Old Blows Weekly Budget Taking Mum To Extravagant Lunch To Prove He’s Got His Shit Together

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "Ohhh that's nice, what do you call this?" asks the visiting suburban matriarch. Jason wipes his mouth with a napkin and casually explains to his mother that they are drinking a skin contact summer wine. "It's called rosè" says Jason. Like hundreds, possibly thousands of millenialls that have relocated to Betoota's inner-city French Quarter for university and metropolitan employment, Jason...

Last Remaining CSIRO Scientists Rush To Show Queen Jacqui Some Reports On This Climate Change Thing

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After making headlines for sticking it to the major parties and One Nation, Jacqui Lambie has now been asked to keep the fire burning today. Following on from her choice words for anti-vaxxers and the government for its lack of action on a federal corruption commission, the Independent Tasmanian Senator has since received a large bundle of briefing...

Independent Tassie Senator Displays More Energy And Leadership Than Both Major Parties Combined

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As another run-of-the-mill week of politics chugs along, Jacqui Lambie has once again reminded the nation how woeful our federal government and its opposition are. After impressing people by ripping anti-vaxxers yesterday, the outspoken Tasmanian Senator who runs her own show has returned to give the Prime Minister and his government another spray this morning. Speaking in the...

Annastacia Sounds The Flood Drum To Rally Mud Army As QLD Prepares To Break Rainfall Records

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time in over a decade, The Queensland Premier has had to make the executive decision to sound the iconic Flood Drum. With torrential thunderstorms expected to hit parts of Southern Queensland today, Annastacia Palaszczuk has had to snap out of pandemic dictator mode, and prepare her state for the very real possibility that the state's river...

Aussie Hospitality Sector Cheers As Nepali Visa Workers Arrive Like Allied Forces At Normandy

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Starting today, 200,000 visas for skilled migrants and students have been made available to boost an Australian economy that has been sitting idle ever since restrictions were placed on overseas arrivals in early 2020. The lack of foreigners picking fruit and washing dishes have forced Australian conservatives to confront the fact that a radical drop in migration does not...

Odd Assortment Of Stolen Pub Glassware Fair Indication He’s Not Ready To Settle Down Yet

TRACEY BENDIGNER | Culture | Contact A local girl has had her suspicions confirmed this evening after opening up the glasses cupboard in her fling’s kitchen and seeing a hodgepodge collection of stolen pub glasses. “I knew in that moment that Jez wasn’t ready for a girlfriend” sighed Melanie Kryger (29). Melanie had been eager to ask Jez where he saw...

3-Ply TP in Guest Bathroom Fair Sign Mate’s Parents Are Loaded

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT' A local man enjoyed a porcelain ponder this morning, hypothesizing about just how rich his mate's parents are. After a long day on the turps, The Advocate understands 24-year-old plant mechanic Liam McKenna woke up hungover, after sleeping in the guest bedroom of his recently acquired friend and fellow cricket teammate, Ben Gidley. Upon sighting a high stack...

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