The Nation

Communists Begin Seizing Mansions In Toorak After Locals Make Unwise Decision To Vote For Labor

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the final votes from the 2022 Federal Election are counted, it is now becoming clear just how much damage the Liberal Party has endured under the reign of Scott Morrison. As it stands, the Liberals have lost 20 seats - with 5 going to the Independents, 1 to the Greens, and the rest going to Labor. And with 9...

“Be Out In A Sec” Scotty Tells Removalists As He Stuffs Kilo Of Prawns In Kirribilli Air Con Vent

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs he helpfully points to an area in the back seat where Jenny can place the last of his bags, former Prime Minister Scott Morrison takes one last wistful look at the house he’s called home for the past four years. Well, it was nice while it lasted. Not that he was going to miss the actual house itself, but...

Big Weekend For Teams That Don’t Win That Much

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the dust settles on another weekend, confirmation has arrived that it was a historic one. With 8 games of NRL football and a federal election taking place, it has turned out to be quite a big few days for teams that don't win very often. While there was a swathe of victories for teams usually resigned to...

Election Results: It’s Officially Not His Job

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from the world of politics, Scott Morrison has confirmed that it is officially not his job to be Prime Minister anymore. After nearly four years of neglecting his job as Prime Minister and swerving any form of accountability for letting the people he is supposed to work for down, Scotty from Marketing no longer...

Liberal Campaigner Applies Hand Sanitiser After Hand Shake With Visibly Working Class Voter

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A young man from Betoota Grove, our town's version of Mosman, Ascot or Toorak, has today had a rather unsavoury experience. Just moments ago, when handing out how to vote Liberal cards like his father did, and father did before him, young Albert Watersmith-Watson was forced to shake hands with a man who quite obviously is renting somewhere...

Barnaby Enjoys A Couple Cold Jars After A Long Election Race Against Nobody In Particular

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Member for New England has told reporters in Armidale this afternoon that his fate is in God's hands now after wrapping up his re-election campaign this afternoon in the New South Boomerstan high country. And by wrapping up, Barnaby Joyce means he's heading to the pub. "Yeah not much I can do now, is...

Local Man Does A Lap Of Daunting Fresh Food Aisle Before Jetting Back Out Towards Thai Joint

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights office worker has today decided to bite the bullet and spare himself the pain of trying to piece together an unprepared weeknight meal. After another underwhelming day managing the accounts for a bunch of companies he feels no affiliation with, Nathan Whitelock was left contemplating the meaning of it all. Trying to kick a goal...

Lambie Promises Royal Commission Into Whether Regional Tasmanian AFL Umpires Are Fucken Blind

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Independent senate candidate Jacqui Lambie has come out strong with some big promises just days before Tasmania joins the rest of the country at the polls. Tasmania has six sitting senators up for election: three from the Liberals, two from Labor, and a Green - with Jacqui backing her team to pinch one of those seats. Speaking today at...

Katter Orders Entire Press Gallery Into His Office To Tell Them That In The Case Of A Hung Parliament He’ll Be Lending His Support To Whichever Candidate Is Willing...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the polls continue to tighten in the final days of the 2022 Federal Election Campaign, Australians are once again preparing up to three weeks of Bob Katter being the most powerful man in the country. In the case of a hung parliament, it comes down to crossbenchers like the Member for Kennedy to decide which of the two...

“We Promise We Won’t Cause The Deaths Of 2000 Poor People With Illegal Robodebt Claims, Again”

The Liberals have today unveiled a new election promise to Australian voters, vowing to repair the forecasted trillion dollar budget deficit without implementing any illegal processes, like they did last time. With the in the fight of their lives to avoid being ousted at the 2022 Federal Election this weekend, the entire party has been ordered to soften their 'bulldozer'...

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