The Nation

Dominic Perrottet Reveals Plans To Introduce New Tollways On Sydney Footpaths If Elected

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In news from Sydney, some new exciting tollways for residents of the Harbour city have been announced today. Unhappy with the numerous tolls scattered throughout Sydney, now commonly regarded as the worst city in the country, the state’s Premier Dominic Perrottet has confirmed that new ‘Footpath Tolls’ will grace the various walkways around the region. In the exciting announcement,...

Regional South Australians Either Jane Austen Characters Or Snowtown Characters

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the Economist's Global Liveability Index has found that South Australia, outside of Adelaide, does not appear to have a middle class. The state's rural and regional communities can only be split into two groups, the polo-playing landed gentry elite - and the murderous poverty-stricken underclass. The Global Liveability Index quantifies the challenges presented to an individual’s...

NSW Liberals Promise They Won’t Destroy Tens Of Thousands Of Small Businesses That Once Made Up A Bustling Sydney Nightlife Economy With Exaggerated Claims Of An Alcohol-Fuelled Violence Epidemic...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The final week of the New South Wales state campaign is upon us, and the batte of the Millennial short-back-and-sides is heating up. In the red corner, we have Chris Minns MP - a Labor lifer who comes from one of those multicultural suburbs that supports the 'St George Dragons' - and a man who is trying his best to emulate...

“Fuck Off Nazis” And Other Prominent Catch Phrases Of The Hateful Far-Left (Who Are Just As Bad)

BERNARD BEWMER | Outrage | CONTACT In case you haven't been reading the news, over 30 Nazis marched at an anti-trans protest in Melbourne over the weekend, where they were seen saluting Adolf Hitler and waving signs plastered with hateful transphobic vitriol. Of course, in Australia, this display of 1940s style fascism has been met with overly complex online debate about free speech. However, the fact...

NSW Premier Perrottet Responds To Media Questions About John Barilaro With A Phat Cloud

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 2022 NSW election campaign is officially underway today, as state Premier Dominic Perrottet was officially asked a difficult question from a member of the media. This marks the first time a NSW Premier confronted tricky queries from a journalist since the former leader Gladys Berejeklian was asked questions about her break up with the controversial Wagga MP Darryl...

Selfless Local Dad Says All He Wants For Birthday Is For Everyone To Know He Doesn’t Want Anything

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An umaterialistic and perfectly content Betoota Heights father has used his birthday as an opportunity to make his family realised how humble and selfless he is. Tim Woomba turns 56 today, and he's never wanted nothing more in his life. It's for this reason he's specifically asked his immediate family to not bother, but only after being asked what...

Coogee Experiences Major Sewerage Breakdown After Systems Infiltrated By Rare Black Anaconda

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT County Coogee is today bursting at the seams, after an extraordinarily large Friday night. With St Patrick's Day Celebrations still continuing for some, others have been greeted by overflowing toilets and floor wastes after a serious breakdown in the region's sewerage system. It's believed that the sewer lines across Little Ireland in Sydney broke down a short time...

Albo’s India Trip Pays Off After Modi Agrees To Stronger Economic Ties And Better Cricket Pitches

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact There have been positive developments for the strategic interests of Australia after Albo’s recent trip to the subcontinent, it has been said. The leaders of the two countries met recently and talked up massive strengthening of security and economic ties that will no doubt see our two great lands share many fond memories now and into the long term...

“Wouldn’t Happen If Justin Langer Was Still Coaching” Says Perth Bricklayer On War In Ukraine

CLYDE ROYAL |Western News| Contact The war in Ukraine has been a hot topic at a Perth local this week after one of the boys suggested that all this turmoil began when JL was dropped as coach of Australia.  “Now I don’t normally get into politics, but it is pretty convenient that as soon as the Aussies lack stern leadership Russia feels like...

Coogee Concreter Breaks Into Stirring Rendition Of ‘Come Out Ye Black And Tans’ At Early Knock Off

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A building site in County Coogee has today been treated to a rather spectacular Friday arvo knock off. With tools heading back into trucks on the bustling Eastern Sydney construction site, one of the more vocal Irish workers decided to open the pipes and let rip a classic tune from home. "Aiiiiiiiiiiii was born on Dublin street, where...

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