The Nation

Report: Grey Nomad Good For A Yarn

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A local retiree, who appears absolutely stoked to finally talk to someone who isn't his wife, is holding to a brief conversation with both hands. After driving for close to 10 hours in near silence between two different Outback look-outs, Richard Newcombe (72) has taken the opportunity to peel away from his caravan to talk to a complete stranger,...

Baby Boomer Somehow Blames Environmentalism And Migrants For Dip In Manipulated Housing Market

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The cultural shift away from fossil fuels and the White Australia policy are two of the biggest factors to consider when discussing why inner-city land bankers can no longer flip properties for 500%. That's according to retired golfing retailer, Bruce Keys (68). In fact, the Betoota Grove-based grandfather-of-three says that political correctness is ruining his nest egg of seven...

Quiet Guy At Work Reveals Himself To Be Type Of Bloke That Calls People ‘Bra’ After A Few

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A reasonably reserved young man at a firm in Betoota's Old City District has shown his true colours today. Grahame Hills had previsouly been looked upon as the run of the mill office man with the normal sorts of hobbies that run of the mill office men have. However, after a couple of beers this afternoon, with the silly season...

New Shirt Going A Bit Overboard With Three Spare Buttons

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local clothes wearer Damian Stewart (28) wonders what the high end fashion designers at regional fashion outlet, Blowy’s Bedclothes, were snorting when they went completely overboard and designed a shirt with three spare buttons. A race day enthusiast with no interest in horses, Stewart has specific dress shirt needs, requiring a style that looks suitable at the races,...

Expecting Brunswick Yuppies To Wait Until Child’s 10th Birthday For Gender Reveal Party

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT An expecting couple down in Melbourne's trendy suburb of Brunswick have moved to assure their friends and family today that they certainly will not be hosting a 'Gender Reveal Party' anytime soon. Brianne Pittman and Con Butcher made the declaration today after fielding questions about the bundle of joy that is expected to enter their lives in a few...

David Warner Looks Longingly At His OLED Television And Sighs

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The former Vice-Captain of the Australian cricket team has taken this morning badly. David Warner, the disgraced former opening batsman and ringleader behind the infamous ball-tampering scandal in Cape Town, confirmed today that he was the only person in the country disappointed by Australia's start to the test summer. His disappointment comes as the Indian top order collapsed to 4/56...

Chris Dawson Leaves 1 Star Review On Teacher’s Pet Podcast

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Alleged murderer and former Newtown Jets player Chris Dawson has reportedly taken the time to leave a scathing review of the Walkley award-winning Teacher's Pet Podcast today, before being arrested for his crimes that it brought to light. Mr Dawson, who was the subject of the Australian True Crime podcast called The Teacher's Pet, was taken by Queensland police...

Report: Newtown Jets Responsible For 92% Of All Violent Crime In Sydney Between 1970-1990

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the Australian Bureau Of Statistics in partnership with the News South Wales Police Force has found that the iconic Inner-Sydney Newtown Jets are responsible for majority of all violent crime committed in Sydney in the two decades leading into their departure from the first grade NSW comp. "Yeah, and heroin trafficking, apparently" said one...

Peter Dutton Begs Surgeon To Give Him Another Cast After Tony Abbott Slips Back Into Old Ways

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Peter Dutton has today begged his orthopaedic surgeon to replace the plaster cast on his broken right arm, after the Special Envoy For Indigenous Affairs signed it with a controversial Aboriginal saying. This comes as the Home Affairs Minister misses yet another week of parliament after having surgery on an injured arm, marking the first time in 2018...

Dad Quite Nervous New Barber Isn’t Cutting His Hair Exact Same Way He’s Had It Cut Since 1989

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by mum has found that dad is a little bit self concsious about his most recent generic dad haircut, and you should tell him he doesn't look like an absolute goose. Despite never noticing when mum or his daughters have had a haircut, even something as dramatic as bangs or a change of colour, dad's...

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