The Nation

Bridget McKenzie Still The Only Member Of Government To Face Consequences For Some Reason

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As of this morning, it's been confirmed that the former federal Sports Minister Bridget McKenzie is still the only member of the Coalition government that is yet to face repercussions for her actions. The weird coincidence comes as the Cabinet Minister at the centre of the historic rape...

McGowan To Keep WA Border Closed In An Effort To Protect Local Crystal Meth Manufacturing

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT WA Premier Mark McGowan says he believes that with 2.6 million square kilometres of mostly barren dirt, his state is more than capable of cooking their own meth. This comes less than two weeks out from the state election, one that his opposition have already written off as...

Jesus Phones Scott To Remind Him That He’s Being A Pretty Shithouse Christian Right Now

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Spiritual leader and popular sky man, Jesus H Christ of Nazareth, has phoned our Bloke-In-Chief to remind him that he's a pretty shithouse Christian at the moment. The Son of God, who shot to fame in 36 AD after he got crucified by a well-known...

Sydney Uni Student Still Waiting For A Pat On The Back For Not Celebrating January 26

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Covid-19 has been a difficult time for University Students, especially for those who love nothing more than to assert their intellectual authority by attending classes in buildings made of antiquated sedimentary rock where it’s still cool to talk about your ATAR. During this pandemic, Australian Uni students have proven...

Final Report Into Aged Care Recommends Not Being Poor As The Best Way To Receive Decent Care

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The final report into the aged care sector was handed down today and one of the key findings in the 2000-page document was the best way to make sure you get a base-level of decent care when you're old and fucked is to not be poor.

DNA Test Reveals Body Found In Bushland Outside Canberra Is Not That Of Missing Prime Minister

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The search for missing man Scott Morrison continues today after DNA test results prove the body found in bushland west of Canberra this morning does not belong to the Prime Minister. It has now been four days since Mr Morrison was reported missing by concerned...

Investigation Into Crown Suggests They Couldn’t Even Run A Chook Raffle

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The preliminary investigation into Crown Resorts has uncovered many systematic failures that have seen the company be accused of everything from money laundering to wage theft. In a short time, a Royal Commission into the nation's largest casino group will begin and the true...

Morrison Gets Himself Stuck In Jumanji In His Most Brazen Effort To Avoid The Media

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In a roll of the dice, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has deliberately got himself trapped in the supernatural board game Jumanji in his most brazen effort to avoid the media yet. Popularised by the eponymous 1995 film starring Robin Williams, Jumanji centres around a mysterious riddle telling board game...

Woman Upset Boyfriend Stopped Asking What Was Wrong Just As She Planned On Telling Him After Third Try

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Staring at the TV with her arms crossed, local woman Nicole Jordan is displaying some clear signs of agitation - much to the confusion of boyfriend Nick, who’s unsure why he’s copping the silent treatment from his girlfriend. However, if Nicole was really telling the truth that nothing was...

Johnny Ringo’s To Host Inaugural Bull Riding Event If 2032 Brisbane Olympics Bid Gets Signed Off

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some great news for the people of Queensland and Australia, Brisbane's bid for the 2032 Olympic Games looks more promising by the day. Sources close to the discussion within the International Olympic Committee say it's not a done deal, but is very close to being one.

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