The Nation

Andrews Defends Selling Off The Housos: “Greyhound Parents Feel Uncomfortable Around Povo People”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Victorian Government has this week unveiled an incredible housing plan that has only ever worked everywhere else it has been trialed in the world. Following the foot steps of the visionary neoliberal NSW Premier Mike Baird, Dan Andrews has announced plans to pull down the 44 public housing towers that make up the last remaining safety net for...

Ageing Bar Fly Has Heart Warmed Seeing Naughty Young Bloke Being Frogmarched From Pub Like He’s Roger Rogerson

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In a heartwarming turn of events, an ageing bar fly at a French Quarter watering hole was reportedly seen shedding tears of nostalgia as a young troublemaker was forcibly removed from the premises in a manner reminiscent of legendary Australian detective Roger Rogerson's final moments as a free man. Witnesses at the scene recounted the...

Local Babe Still Kind Of Excited For Hot Girl El Nino, Despite Devastating Heatwave Predictions

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Local Betoota Grove resident, Imogen Mathews (26), has told reporters that although she cares about the potentially devastating carnage that is predicted for this year's bushfire season, she is keen to finally have a hot girl summer.  While most rational people are concerned about the imminent consequences of prolonged drought and increased fire risk that comes with unseasonal...

Amazon’s Neighbours Debuts After Cast Was Forced To Work 20-Hour Shifts And Piss In Bottles

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Amazon reboot of the fabled soap opera "Neighbours" will be available to US commerce giant's subscribers later today, and it's all thanks to the marathon efforts of the show's cast and crew. Insiders have spoken of the long days and hectic schedules during production, some of which resulted in crew members and stars pissing...

Dutton Says It’s Not Racist If You’re Thinking About Voting No, The Racists Are Already Locked In

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Indigenous elder and respected academic, Marcia Langton is this week seeking legal advice after opposition leader Peter Dutton lied when he misquoted her criticism of the No campaign on social media, leading to the spread of misinformation amongst fellow Liberal politicians their lapdog journalists that work for Rupert Murdoch. Langton says Dutton’s post on Instagram, which wrongly claims she...

Man Who Destroyed Our Economy And His Own Party Says Indigenous Voice Could Be Bad For Australia

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Supporters of an Indigenous Voice To Parliament may be relieved to learn that former Prime Minister Scott Morrison has joined the loud chorus of conservative Christians who make up the Liberal Party's official Vote NO campaign. The No Campaign's inclusion of one of the most incompetent political operators in Australian history could only be good news for those fighting...

Government That Sets Curriculum Confirms Poor NAPLAN Results Prove Teachers Are To Blame For Everything

RORY SALAZAR | Government | ContactA State government talking-head has today confirmed that this year’s poor NAPLAN results prove something they have known for a very long time. Teachers are the greatest threat to Australia’s prosperity. “Our role as government is to not only set the curriculum but give teachers the support they need to succeed,” the featureless government shill said. “That means providing teachers with...

Report: Time To Bring In A Couple Sheilahs To Clean Up The Mess

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT GRAB A MOP GIRLS: With both Australia's Reserve Bank and National Carrier airline facing an unprecedented lack of public confidence, it seems that it's now time to send in a couple sheilahs to clean up the mess left behind by the men. This comes as Australia's post-pandemic economic downturn appears to be only exasperated by the cowboy decision-making of...

Qantas In Turmoil: High School Rich Girls No Longer Wearing Business Class Pyjamas At Sleepovers

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactJust a mere 24 hours after former Qantas CEO Alan Joyce announced his resignation, the troubled airline has revealed even more starling news that has caused alarm amongst its stakeholders and signalled the company might be heading for a rapid and unstoppable decline. Following a similar fate to Pandora bracelets, it can now be confirmed that the nation’s upper...

Bam Bam Begins Pre-Fight Preparation With Private Screening Of Barbie Movie At Mount Druitt HOYTS

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sydney is currently hosting the most dangerous men on the planet, as the UFC returns to the Harbour City for the first time since 2017. And that's not just the colourful MMA fans that will be filling out Qudos Arena on Sunday night. The main card for UFC 293 is stacked to the brim with some of the best pound...

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