The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A gilet wearing man who works in our town's business district has today wowed friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances with the purchase of big shiny new ute. Brad Short (28) has taken to social media to reveal he's the proud owner of a 3 litre V6 Turbo-Dickhead-Injection (TDI) Volkswagon Amarok. "Big truck go vroooooooom" said Brad, who...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA middle aged bloke who spends way too much time on the bowels of the internet has today declared he’s ‘sick to death’ of hearing about all these labels, stating that apparently the young ones are identifying as animals, and even shitting in litter boxes at school. John Vaughn, a man who used to spout that ‘video games cause...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactPeeking out the window to spy on the landscape below, Betoota Heights local Alan Thompson toys with the notion that maybe, just maybe, his journey to Melbourne has taken an unexpected turn. With the lush, rolling green hills and low hanging mist, one could easily mistake the birdsview of Melbourne for the rugged landscapes of Scotland. And though he’d never...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Local Tigers fan, Darren McNeil (30) has found solace in his team's recent downturn in performance, believing it to be a necessary correction to restore balance to the universe after a moment of success at the start of the season. As a lifelong supporter of the perpetually struggling rugby league team, Darren has grown accustomed to the familiar cycle...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Local Betoota youth Colin Myers (24) has been fervently praying for just a "good week or two" to enjoy the highly anticipated release of GTA6 before Prime Minister Dutton summons him to the front lines of what seems like an inevitable global conflict. "With all this talk of World War 3 and conscription, I can't help but worry that...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactWriter/fake clinical psychologist and ultimate ‘Pick me’ girl Bettina Ardnt has been left scrambling this week, after her key speaker Bruce Lehrmann was forced to pull out of her ‘Restoring The Presumption of Innocence' conference. This has been attributed to him losing his defamation suit against Channel Ten and journalist Lisa Wilkinson. The event will be going ahead in June...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Albanese Government is proposing a return to the era of Australian-made manufacturing that officially ended in 2017, when car-manufacturing subsidies for Ford, Toyota and General Motors were killed off because Malcolm Turnbull thought every Australian was going to be a billionaire App owner by now. Beginning last week, the current PM has begun to roll out the early...

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact Right across the Australia today, white knuckles have overcome the gentle hands of erotic masseuses. It's believed there will also be a lot less noise in Sydney streets, after recent events appear to have greatly limited how many souped up Subaru WRXs will be roaring through the city at night. Both the inner-city coke dealers and rub and tug...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Lawyers in the latest landmark defamation trial in the Federal Court have emerged as winners yet again after what has been described as a "legal circus" and "litigious marathon." A number of Senior Counsels, senior lawyers, junior lawyers, partners, associates, instructing solicitors, and countless office-based legal professionals are set to invoice for their time directly...