The Nation

Local Footy Postponed After New Strain Of Swine Flu Identified In Dave, A Fourth-Grade Prop

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Channel Country Rugby League has been postponed for a fortnight today after one player in the competition has tested positive for a new strain of the H1N1 swine flu virus. Dave Marshall, a 20-year veteran of Betoota City CYMS, has been named as the player who's been quarantined...

Powerhouse Museum To Be Re-Relocated To Broken Hill After Developers Enquire About Parramatta Site

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Controversial plans to relocate Sydney’s popular Powerhouse Museum to a less-valuable site in Parramatta have hit an unexpected hurdle, after the Parramatta site was also subject to an offer from another developer. Consequently, the entire museum will now be moved to Broken Hill. The popular Powerhouse Museum was founded in the 1880s...

Local Man Can’t See How Free Childcare Might Help Large Section Of Workforce Get Back To Work

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Victorian man, who surprisingly doesn't have the Hubei spicy lung, has told reporters in Canberra this morning that he can't see how giving mothers the chance to re-enter the workforce with help via free childcare could help drag the economy out of the shitter.

3rd Year Uni Student Finishes Academic Term Attending Same Amount Of Lectures As Last Semester

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Hitting another week at full pace from the comfort of her council clean up retrieved couch, Emily Simpson has revealed to The Advocate today that it's been a big semester of university. Knocking the top of her third cup of tea for the day, the 3rd year law student...

Victoria’s Right-Wing Suddenly Forget They Spent 3 Months Demanding Schools And Shops Re-Open

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Victoria's loudest champions of the culture wars have this week come out swinging against the Andrews government, for what they believe to be a lack of directions in the face of the Coronavirus pandemic. This comes just a couple weeks after the same whingeing cunts accused the Victorian...

Bloke Sitting Around Doing Fuck All On JobSeeker Reckons This Is How Prince Harry Must Feel

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A casual theatre worker from Betoota Heights has spent the past few months on the couch doing fuck all and thinks this is how Prince Harry must feel all the time now. Dale Crimpy, who's grandfather pioneered the Chicken Crimpy Shape recipe, said all he's...

Prime Minister Announces Cooma Is Getting It’s Own 40000 Person Stadium

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact This is not a drill! The gateway to the New South Wales snowfields is set to become a sporting mecca from next year after the Prime Minister announced this morning that Cooma is getting it's very own 40000 person stadium. Scott...

Man Cleans Entire House In 25 Seconds By Using Upbeat Movie Montage

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact With less than half an hour to go until his wife and kids arrived back from the weekend at her parents’ house, local man Clinton Bodoni knew it was time to get the house in order. Unfortunately, with the house having been subjected to 3 days of self-confessed...

Catholic Church Threaten To Expose Priests If They Don’t Donate Half Their JobKeeper Payments

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact The Advocate has obtained some shocking, reports from within the Catholic Church revealing that they not only asked priests to donate half of their JobKeeper allowance to their diocese, but said if priests didn’t make the donation then God would no longer turn a blind eye to any child sex offenses.

Bride To Be Hoping She Can Still Use Covid As An Excuse To Cut Fiancés Derro Mates

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact While everyone is glad to see the back of social restrictions due to Covid-19, one local bride-to-be is hoping she can cling on to it for another couple of months – or at least until mid-November after her wedding. Earlier this year, Samantha Sprigg (29) and her fiancé, Josh,...

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