The Nation

Albo’s India Trip Pays Off After Modi Agrees To Stronger Economic Ties And Better Cricket Pitches

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact There have been positive developments for the strategic interests of Australia after Albo’s recent trip to the subcontinent, it has been said. The leaders of the two countries met recently and talked up massive strengthening of security and economic ties that will no doubt see our two great lands share many fond memories now and into the long term...

“Wouldn’t Happen If Justin Langer Was Still Coaching” Says Perth Bricklayer On War In Ukraine

CLYDE ROYAL |Western News| Contact The war in Ukraine has been a hot topic at a Perth local this week after one of the boys suggested that all this turmoil began when JL was dropped as coach of Australia.  “Now I don’t normally get into politics, but it is pretty convenient that as soon as the Aussies lack stern leadership Russia feels like...

Coogee Concreter Breaks Into Stirring Rendition Of ‘Come Out Ye Black And Tans’ At Early Knock Off

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A building site in County Coogee has today been treated to a rather spectacular Friday arvo knock off. With tools heading back into trucks on the bustling Eastern Sydney construction site, one of the more vocal Irish workers decided to open the pipes and let rip a classic tune from home. "Aiiiiiiiiiiii was born on Dublin street, where...

First Roald Dahl, Now These PC-Police Lefties Want To Rewrite 14 Years Worth Of ZOO Magazines

BERNARD BEWMER | Outrage | CONTACT In news that probably won't surprise anyone, Roald Dahl’s children’s books are being rewritten to remove language deemed offensive. The publisher of the iconic children's author has hired sensitivity readers to rewrite his text to make sure the books “can continue to be enjoyed by all today”, resulting in extensive changes across Dahl’s work. Edits have been made to descriptions...

What Would Be A Wiser Defence Investment? $368B Worth Of Submarines Or $368B Worth Of Prism Towers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT If you haven't been watching the hysterical news coverage, Australia is locked in to build a new fleet of eight nuclear-powered submarines in Adelaide to begin service in the 2040s - as part of a bizarre multinational defence agreement that will cost up to $368 billion by 2055. Prime Minister Anthony Albanese announced his commitment to the AUKUS plan...

Working Aussie Families Actually Excited For A Chinese Invasion And Some Decent Housing Policies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Diplomatic and factional tensions are high in Canberra this week, as Albanese faces foreign and internal backlash for his decision to go through with Scott Morrison's rushed AUKUS nuclear submarine deal. This comes nearly two years after Australia was forced to pay $500 million to rip up its multi-billion dollar submarine contract with the French – so that Scotty...

Marketing Pig Openly Verbalises That He Wants New Toothpaste Ad To ‘Go Viral Like The BLM Black Tile’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of Betoota's most decorated corporate creatives has today briefed six different media agencies on his target outcomes for the online advertising campaign of a prominent oral hygiene brand. As someone who eats bacon and egg rolls for breakfast every day, and powers through Red Bull and cigarettes like a teenager at the skate park, Neddy Rogerson (44) doesn't...

Mum Serving Up Noodles On Toast Dreams Of Her Kids Getting To See These Submarines One Day

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local mum has today taken a moment to confide in The Advocate about some of her hopes and dreams. With her rent 50% higher than it was a couple of years ago and her wages exactly the same in childcare role, Pippa Thompson told us that she still has hope for her and her kids future. "One...

Team Behind Fitzroy Garage Sesh Win Best Set Design At 2023 Oscars

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some exciting news from La La land, a couple of home grown heroes have managed to win an Oscar! The boys behind the Fitzroy Garage Sesh have taken out the Academy Award for best set design. Titled 'Best Production Design' the award recognises achievement for art direction in film, and is set to come down under after...

Mark Waugh: “So What Kohli? You Could Dig Up Fred Spofforth, Put Pads On His Corpse And He’d Also Make A Ton On This Pitch”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Popular cricket identity Mark Waugh has shrugged off Virat Kohli's first century this decade, telling viewers of Fox Cricket that he reckons you could dig up the remains of the late Fred Spofforth, put some pads on the corpse, and Fred would also be able to ton up on this pitch. "This isn't a bit...

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