The Nation

Lana Del Rey Fan Chuckles At Basic Swifties Who Think Travis Kelce Would Be A Better Lover Than JFK

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Swiftmania continues to take over Australia, the American pop music megastar has flown north from Melbourne and is now staying at the Crown's presidential villa in Barangaroo until her run of Sydney shows. Fans who were lucky to get tickets to more than one show are now following the songstress around the country, as crowds brave Sydney's stormy...

Local Woman At That Age Where She’s Hit With The Cruel Combo Of Both Acne And Wrinkles

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights woman has discovered just how cruel mother nature can be, after being with the cursed combo of acne and wrinkles at the age of 35, it’s reported. Anna Malvern, admits that accepting that wrinkles and sagging were inevitable had been a struggle enough, especially as a woman, but that she’d been completely blindsided and enraged upon...

Kevin Rudd Attempts To Move Albo’s Bux Party Somewhere With Better ‘Talent’ Than Bali

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The 26th Prime Minister of Australia has come off the back fence to ramp up the activism, it can be confirmed this afternoon. It's been revealed that Kevin Rudd has been working frantically behind the scenes to have the current Prime Minister's Bucks Party plans altered. Pencilled in for the Grand Final long weekend in Bali, Kevin07 has...

“So Good” – We Interview North-West NSW Voters About Their Local MP Barnaby Joyce’s Drunken Antics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Barnaby Joyce, the man who spent a fair portion of 2022 as acting Prime Minister, has today made the bold announcement that he will abstaining from full-strength lager for 40 days. The Member For New England says he's given up drinking for the entire duration of lent, after he was filmed lying on a public footpath in Canberra while...

Commercial Australian TV Producers Race To Be The First To Make Taylor Swift Try Vegemite Haha

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT American pop superstar Taylor Swift has officially landed in Melbourne to start the Australian leg of her long-awaited Eras Tour. With more than 600,000 tickets sold, Australian fans are at feverpitch after it was confirmed that Swift’s flight from Honolulu had touched down at 12.50am, local time. The 34-year-old pop star was transported across hemispheres in a luxurious private jet,...

Apple Watch Guy Requests An ‘On Foot’ Meeting In Effort To Close Off His Activity Rings

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT NEW YEAR=NEW ME: In a stunning display of New Year, New Me enthusiasm, local Apple Watch devotee and apparent fitness aficionado, Darren Fuller, has taken the term "walking meeting" to a whole new level. Desperate to close his daily activity rings, Fuller insisted on an "on foot" meeting, dragging unsuspecting coworkers on a tour of the office car...

Bill Shorten Kicked Out Of Albo’s Bux Party Chat For Suggesting Mini Golf

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The man who was supposed to be in his second term as Prime Minister has today been dealt a cruel blow. Bill Shorten was unceremoniously kicked out of a group chat this afternoon, after saying something rather foolish. Shorten was removed from Anthony Albanese's Bucks Party group chat a short time ago for reportedly suggesting that the group...

“These Swifties Carry On” Says Chermside Man Who Feeds Staffys With Broncos Pet Bowl

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTAs the sparkly strain of T-Swift fever sweeps the nation, a Germside man has reached out to The Advocate today to protest that it’s all a bit much. Darren Berrigan, a single 36-year-old forklift driver from Brisbane’s northern suburbs, has been in contact throughout the week complaining to our newspaper about the enthusiasm of local Swifties in...

Woman Turning 30 Hit With Inexplicable Urge To Splash Out $400 On Linen Sheets

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights woman about to hit the big 3-0 has been filled with the inexplicable urge to splash out on linen sheets, after randomly deciding last night that her entire room needed a rehaul. Anita Carlso, 29, tells The Advocate that she was usually able to brush off the niggling feelings of annoyance she felt on a daily...

NSW Health Warns Mardi Gras Partygoers That Calling It ‘YASSSbestos’ Doesn’t Make It Any Safer

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactNSW premier Chris Minns has warned Mardi Gras revellers not to downplay the dangerous nature of asbestos, after traces of the mineral were discovered in mulch in numerous parks across Sydney, including Victoria Park, which was set to host the Mardi Gras Fair Day. Stallholders and attendees were informed on social media today that the event would be cancelled...

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