The Nation

Aunt Joan Suggests Revolting Christmas Lunch Turkey Alternative After Watching Game Changers

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Insult has potentially been added to injury for one local man today after he received a double-spaced and randomly justified email from his Aunt Joan that suggested the family scrap the planned turkey for Christmas lunch for a more environmentally-friendly alternative. Therefore, according to Aunt...

Unvaccinated Child Wears Dust Mask

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As out-of-control bushfires continue to burn to the west of town, the parents of an unvaccinated youngster have forced them to wear a dust mask to an extra-curricular activity this afternoon. The winds are blowing in hard off the desert, pushing the acrid smoke over...

Kirribilli Man Didn’t Pay Dad Back Half A $5M Interest Free Loan For Views Covered In Smoke

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sydney city is today being smothered by the thickest smoke cloud of this unprecedented and record-breaking bushfire season. It is being blown from large fires near Warragamba Dam and the Wollombi National Park. Although most of Sydney has had some relief from the smoke over the last 24 hours, it has...

MCG Curators Apply Light Nuclear Strike On Pitch To Try And Take A Bit Of Pizzazz Out Of It

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The curators of the nation's most overrated sporting venue have applied a low-yield nuclear strike against their own pitch this morning in an effort to make sure nobody is seriously hurt on Boxing Day. While some in the industry would consider doing that quite an...

ScoMo Disappointed To Wake Up And Read People Are STILL Talking About These FLAMING Bushfires

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister stirred this morning sometime after six, found his glasses on the bedside table, looked at his phone and let out a quiet, private 'fuck'. Australians - and not just the ones on the eastern fringe - were still talking about these bloody...

Local Building Boldly Displays Year Of Construction Like It’s Going To Still Be There In 2107

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A block of cheap flats in Betoota Heights boldly displays the year the building was built - in a manner that suggests it's still going to be a block of year flats in a hundred years' time. The former Medina serviced apartment complex on the...

Bombing Panels To Be Legalised As Government Merges Arts Department With Transport Department

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The artform formerly known as 'graffiti vandalism' is expected to be legalised in 2020, following a decision by Prime Minister Scott Morrison to axe the federal arts department. On Thursday, Mr Morrison announced dramatic changes to the public service, cutting the number of departments from 18 to 14.

Pilots Told Cyclists Are Just As Entitled To Ride On Local Flight Paths As They Are

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Australian Federation of Pilots has told their members to respect cyclists and leave at least one meter when passing them. It comes after a fourth incident between a Diamantina Air Freight (DAF) aircraft and a peloton of local cyclists almost came to blows after...

Labor Reportedly Exploring Idea Of Offering An Opposition To Policies That Concern Voters

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some sensational news out of the capital of the country, it's believed that the Australian Labor Party are considering doing their job. This news breaks as the nation battles through its second straight month of devastating bushfires, which the current government is determined to ignore until there's...

Government Confident Bushfires Will Be Halted Once They Burn Through To The Sea

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The State Government of NSW and the Federal Government are remaining confident this morning that the bushfires currently plaguing large throngs of the eastern seaboard will be halted once they reach the sea. Speaking to the media this morning in a joint press conference, Prime...

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