The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The 2024 Paris Olympics are finally here! After years of build up and anticipation the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad have arrived. And that means a bumper few weeks ahead for sports fanatics, arm chair enthusiasts and even the most sports agnostic people - who always seem to find a way to enjoy the Games whether it's through...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Crossfit member from a gym in the French Quarter has been rushed to hospital this morning showing signs of respiratory distress, making him the 12th man to be admitted for Crossfit induced illnesses this month alone. Paramedics at the Betoota Base Hospital report seeing an influx of these types of cases every year, as Crossfitters continue to workout...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights woman is now heavily considering booking a consultation at her nearest beauty clinic, after her mates insisted the hideous photo of her dropped into the group was an accurate reflection. Staring in horror as she zoomed into the photo, Chara Phillips was shocked to discover that she’d been walking around looking this ugly the entire time,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Freshwater Strategy Poll of 1,003 of Australia's wealthiest voters, conducted for Australian Financial Review, has found that the Liberal-National Party coalition is in front of Labor for the first time since the 2022 election. The poll shows Prime Minister Albanese's government is less popular Peter Dutton's Liberal-National Coalition, which now leads 51 per cent to 49 per cent...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report led by a combination of the nation's leading research bodies has found that the Australian hard rock band Wolfmother's self-tilted debut album was the shit. The research into this finding was conducted by both the CSIRO (Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation), The Australian Bureau of Statistics and the Australian Research Council. After months of surveys, data...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal woman Ashley Simon has been forced to backpedal hard today, after getting back together with a bloke who’s behaviour has been so heinous, it’s resulted in multiple hour long phone calls with her mum. Having still not learnt the importance of listening to her gut, Ashley has somehow managed to gaslight herself into believing that her new beau...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn overly anxious woman has discovered that the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing might not actually result in a healthy relationship, after finding herself involved with a bloke who has never second guessed a decision in his life, it’s reported.The chronic nail picker, Maeve Hawthorn, 28, says she’d initially thought having a super laidback boyfriend would be like ‘having...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Sydney man has realised nothing good has happened since the closure of Sega World in Darling Harbour. Sega World, an indoor theme park, shut its doors on November 12, 2000. It was a haven for the city's freaks and youngsters alike, featuring state-of-the-art arcade games, VR experiences, and themed rides. For many, it was...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local tabby has once again rejected his owners attempts to wrangle him into playing with cat toys, in favour of batting around a hair tie that was accidentally dropped on the floor. Mikey or ‘Shit Biscuits’ as he’s affectionately nicknamed, is said to have been gifted at least $50 worth of toys designed specifically for felines, including a...

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTAn easy-breezy friend is attempting to calm his best mate’s nerves this morning, despite the fact that he appears to be holding up an entire wedding party.Spreading his relaxed demeanour throughout ‘Milky Stars’ homestead, the premier wedding venue on the outskirts of Betoota, it’s believed local Best Man Jason Marche has taken it upon himself to...