The Nation

Rugby Australia Launch A Patreon

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Qantas has pulled their sponsorship of the Wallabies this week as the airline looks to cut costs wherever they can. The deal was said to be worth close to $20m to Rugby Australia, which is already in a desperate state after a generation of mismanagement...

Foxtel Awarded A Further $19m In No-Tender Government Grants Just To See If Anybody Cares

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large |Contact Taxpayers have given Foxtel $19m in government grants this month - and the process in which these types of funds are allocated was expedited and circumvented the Federal Cabinet. This morning, the government is set to give the failing subscription television service a further $19m just...

Queensland LNP Voter Tormented By How Much He Enjoys Watching Premier Make Southerners Squirm

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Redlands-based small business-owner, Roland Percival (59) hasn't voted for Labor on any level since Kevin07. "That was a dark time, but fuck me... The Iraq War was pretty had to get behind" he says. "And Kevin was basically more right wing than Turnbull or ScoMo......

Group Of Uni Students Christen New All Girls Sharehouse And Coat Bathroom Sink In Hair

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A group of South Betoota Polytechnic students have today formally completed a rite of passage on their new French Quarter sharehouse. The uni students who moved to our cosmopolitan regional centre a few weeks ago did so this afternoon by christening their new abode. Standing...

Archaeologists Unable To Identify Origins Of Nan’s Miniature Ceramic Dolphin Sculpture

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Local nan Rose Carey isn’t exactly known for her good taste in furniture and knick knacks, though there is one ornament that really takes the cake. Her ceramic blue dolphin sculpture. Nestled on top of slightly stained tea doily, the sculpture is said to be the centrepiece of...

Japan Ask Nation If We’re Gunna Eat That

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Japan has sent Canberra a message this morning to ask what our plans are with 80 beached whales on Tasmania's wild western fringe. The message, which was relayed by the Japanese Ambassador to Australia to the Prime Minister, asked the nation if we're going to...

Woolies Cashier Shoves Two Ooshies Up His Arse After Being Told To By An Irate Elderly Shopper

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local young bloke just plying his trade down the Betoota Heights Stockland Woolies has been told to shove two rare Ooshies up his arse by an irate elderly shopper who showed no interest in claiming them. This afternoon after his shift was over, Max...

Government: This Media Bargaining Code Is Designed To Help News Companies That Are Nice To Us

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The depraved back and forth rally between the planet's tech giants and the Federal Government over paying for news content has plunged to new depths today. Scott Morrison and Peter Dutton appeared at a joint press conference this morning to dispell fears that the media...

“Our Tax Breaks To The Wealthy Will Trickle Down And Fill Gaps In Reduced Centrelink Payments”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The nation is sweating this week as the Federal Government's plan to reduce the JobSeeker and Keeper payments comes into effect. On Friday, the JobSeeker rate will drop from $550 a week to $250 a week, and JobKeeper will be reduced to $600 a week...

Wrestling Is Fake You Fucking Idiot, Says Nation’s Older Sisters

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's annoyed teenage older sisters have today insisted that the World Wrestling Entertainment franchise is fake, and that you are a fucking idiot for thinking it was real. Despite the fact that they have no actual proof and can't explain how Shane McMahon didn't die when jumped three stories onto the Undertaker during the infamous Hell In A Cell...

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