The Nation

ScoMo Finally Gets How Serious The Situation Is As City Of Sydney Councillors Declare Climate Emergency

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister of Australia has told reporters this morning in Canberra that he didn't fully understand how bad things have gotten with global warming until councillors from the City of Sydney declared a climate emergency overnight. "Everything's fucked," said Scott Morrison.

Richie McCaw Enters Israel Folau Debate From The Side

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the greatest rugby players of the modern era has weighed into the debate surround Israel Folau this morning, from the side. Former All Blacks captain and World Cup Hero, Richie McCaw, walked up to two punters in Dunedin just after 10am who were...

Local Chinstrap Reveals Sick, Depraved Fetish Of Being Cuddled And Reassured

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact David Costigan was overcome with a sinking feeling in his stomach last night when his life partner asked him if he had any sexual fantasies. The city worker was nervous because he does - and they're not the Disney picture book ones that involve whips,...

Report: Sydney’s Northern Beaches Responsible For 90% Of All True Crime Podcasts

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the Diamantina Podcast Network has found that 90% of the world's true crime murder mystery podcasts are set between Manly Beach and Palm Beach on Sydney's northern peninsula. Once known for it's sunkissef life guards and relaxed lifestyle, the 'insular peninsular' is now the coalface...

Frydenberg Quietly Cancels Plan To Start GoFundMe For The Economy

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Leaked documents have revealed this morning that Federal Treasurer Josh Frydenberg secretly cancelled a plan to start a GoFundMe campaign for the economy in the wake of the Israel Folau controversy. The papers suggest Josh was impressed by the rate at which Australians are prepared...

Josh: “The Seeds Of This Impending Recession Were Sowed By The Watson Labor Government In 1904”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Treasurer of Australia spoke to the media this morning about the upcoming recession and how the root cause of it can be traced back to the first Labor government. Josh Frydenberg explained to journalists this morning in Canberra that despite his best efforts, Labor's...

Correlation Found Between Eating Playdough As A Child And Adding Rear Spoilers To Excels

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A recent report released by Australia’s peak scientific body, the CSIRO, has today revealed the groundbreaking results to their 3 year-long study into why people add expensive spoilers to their worthless vehicles. Sitting down with The Advocate shortly after the press hearing, lead researcher, Lewis Mozato, discussed the results...

Izzy Earmarks Some Legal Fees For His Lambo After The Coil Pack Shits Itself

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Under-siege religious figure Israel Folau tried to distract himself from the growing media storm around him by taking his late-model Lamborghini for a spin. Sadly, the half-million-dollar Italian sportscar's coil pack had shit itself and the thing wouldn't go. In a rare...

Ad Agency Suit Isn’t Jealous Of The Stupid Fucking Creatives Currently In Cannes At All

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | Contact One of our town's least useful people, an ad agency suit, says he's not jealous at all of all his agency's creatives currently enjoying the sunshine on the French Rivera. Speaking to our reporter this afternoon as they stood in line at the French Quarter...

“Why Am I So Broke?” Asks City Worker Having Sushi For Lunch Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It's enough to burst a blood vessel in the back of Barefoot's brain. Dennis Coleman has bought lunch for the fifth time this week and for the second time, he's chosen sushi. The 28-year-old brokeman works in The Advocate's sales and admin...

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