Sports

Rupert Murdoch Hires 100 New Journalists Within His Degrading Aboriginal Sportsmen Department

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT There is finally some hope for aspiring Aussie journalists today, as the largest media monopoly in the country announces plans to do what no other news publishers are able to do without a $850m dollar tax rebate from the government. Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation will today bring on board...

Queensland Rugby League Fans Demand More White Boys From Rocky

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tigers hooker Harry Grant has shown why the Maroons powerbrokers have him tipped to takes Cameron Smith's Origin jersey moving forward, after an explosive performance off the bench last night. The dummy-half finished with a try, 67 running metres from seven runs, four tackle busts and two line break...

The Betoota Advocate Pays Tribute To Betoota Mutts 400-Game-Legend, Steve ‘Mudguts’ Maguire

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Betoota Advocate would like to formally congratulate Betoota Mutts legend Steve ‘Mudguts’ Maguire on reaching the incredible 400 game milestone. Mudguts now enters a hallowed Bundy Betoota Muttaburrasaurus Hall Of Fame, joining an elite crowd of 5 other former greats. The much loved club figure who missed...

Josh Addo-Carr Settles Transfer Rumours And Sets Sights On 2021 Tokyo Olympics

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT While we have seen the last professional game of Rugby League on home soil for the year, the stories from the code keep on coming. With the Maroons led by their talismanic off-field captain Cam Munster at full send right now, the Blues are licking their wounds and taking...

Origin Players Prepare To Remember What They’ve Talked About, Dig Deep, Back Themselves

The teams for State of Origin Game 3 are raring to go for their winner takes all clash this evening, it can be confirmed.  However, the boys are trying a different approach this round. With Queensland players preparing to remember what they've talked about, dig deep, and remembering to back themselves. The preparation for the Queensland Maroons has been quite familar this...

Largest Crowd Of Covid Era, Absolutely Necessary For An Origin Decider Confirms Queensland

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The great State of Queensland has today thrown its support behind Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk ahead of the Origin decider.  With everything on the line, and the NSW Blues at least six series away from matching the height of sporting achievement that was 8 in a row, the Premier has...

New Zealand Heads Back Into Lockdown After Second Consecutive All Blacks Loss

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Our neighbours across the ditch are facing a grim couple of weeks after a fresh national emergency has plagued the island nation. With the All Blacks suffering a historic second loss in as many weeks, the Prime Minister of New Zealand has ordered a fresh lockdown.

Scientists Still No Closer To Finding Out Why Anybody Would Intentionally Watch Televised Golf

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Scientists from CSIRO’s Behavioural Analysis Division have been forced to admit they still have no idea why people continue to watch golf on TV. The embarrassing admission from Australia’s peak scientific body has thrown the future of the project in doubt with a government insider admitting the Division is up for a ‘Budget...

Australians Now Able To Watch Rugby Union Without Having A Hole Drilled Through Their House

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In what could very well be the life raft needed to save rugby union in Australia, the game's governing body has today inked a broadcast deal with Nine Entertainment worth $100m over three years. The ex-Sydney Private Schoolboys that maintain control over the grassroots spending are reportedly 'furious'...

Wallabies Fans Call On New Zealand To Concede Bledisloe

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Rugby Australia and it's fans have today called on the All Blacks to concede the Bledisloe Cup. This comes after a comprehensive 24-22 victory for the Wallabies in Brisbane last night where they completely dismantled the All Blacks over 80 minutes of football. Tries...

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