Sports

Bloke Who Reckons He Has A Bit Of Go About Him Dislocates Shoulder In Touch Game

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local man who has spent the majority of his adult life talking up his sporting ability, has today had the wind knocked out of his sails after dislocating his shoulder within the first 5 minutes of a social game of touch football. As the name implies, touch is...

4th Graders Urged To Get Down To Training Before Coach Selects Himself As Full Back For Trial

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The fourth-grade battlers down at the Betoota Dolphins have been warned on the club's Facebook group today to get down to training next week or face the consequences. With 'strong numbers' showing up to training last night according to the club captain, this season bills to be a...

Report: 3rd Grade Coach Actually Not Joking About Pre Season Training Starting Before Christmas

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Much to the amusement of many at the Betoota Dolphins club, it has been confirmed today that the Reserve Grade coach wasn't actually joking when he said that there would be pre-season training this week. Chris Walker has shocked the club and the members of the 3rd-grade squad when he posted a sternly worded message in the club's Facebook...

Nation Appoints Warnie As New Chairman Of Selectors

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news out of Cricket Australia, the country's greatest ever bowler has just been appointed as the Chairman of Selectors. The sensational move from the cricketing organisation, see Trevor Hohns sacked with Shane Keith Warne appointed in his place. The King of Spin was reportedly appointed as his successor in an effort by Cricket Australia to stem the...

Cricket Australia Waiting To See How We Go In Perth Before They Decide If We Can Sledge Again

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The body governing the game of cricket in Australia has confirmed today that it's not at panic stations just yet. Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this morning, Cricket Australia's CEO Kevin Roberts informed us that they are holding tight for now. This comes after the Australian side's first test loss to India on home soil in 10 years and a string of...

Desperate Nation Looks To Mike Hussey Knowing He’s The Only Man Capable Of Saving Us Now

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the current situation in Adelaide worsens, Australians from all walks of life are looking to retired Test great Mike Hussey to get us out of the impending Test defeat at the hands of India this afternoon. Hussey, now a happy-go-lucky and overly polite commentator for Fox Sports, has been watching the match from the...

Nation Has Already Forgotten All Those Other Headlines About Ussie Earlier In The Week

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite only managing to wrangle a gritty 28, the fact that Usman Khawaja managed to send Virat Kohli back to the sheds on three runs yesterday has been enough for Australia to forget all that other stuff that was in the news this week. As one of Australia's most experienced and humble test cricketers in the current side,...

David Leyonhjelm Wishes The ‘Young Brown Men’ Luck In The Cricket Today

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Indian Cricket Team have received some encouraging words from Liberal Democrat Senator David Leyonhjelm this morning. The libertarian senator from NSW issued a statement this morning wishing all the 'young brown men' luck in the cricket today. "Good luck to the young brown men taking part in the test match down in Adelaide today, I hope that you enjoy...

Two Men Accused Of Brisbane Siege Released On Bail Under Strict Conditions

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news out of the river city of Brisbane, the names of the two men at the centre of yesterday afternoon's siege have been released by Queensland Police. The pair sent the city into lockdown yesterday after they became engaged in a tense 6-hour standoff with police and allegedly fired shots at law enforcement officials. In a sensational...

Rabbitohs Players Confused After Darius Boyd Turns Up At Training Unannounced

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Darius Boyd has caused even more confusion at the South Sydney Rabbitohs organisation today. After the resolution of an extremely poorly managed and confusing coaching situation (which saw Wayne Bennett and Anthony Siebold finally do the coach swap), the Brisbane contracted Darius Boyd has further muddied the waters. The Broncos fullback and apple of Wayne Bennett's eye caused the furrowed...

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