Sports

Get Ready For Usmania

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by literally every man, woman and child watching today's masterclass on day 4 of The Sydney Test has found that there is no doubt on Earth that Ussie is heading to Tassie. A late call up in the series, Usman Khawaja has just celebrated a second-innings century at the SCG, the first Australian No.5 bater to...

Report: Warnie Is Actually A Genius

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The people of Australia have just been reminded that Shane Warne, for all of his flamboyant antics and raw opinions, is actually a genius when it comes to the great game of cricket. This comes after an on-field commentary segment on the lunch break of Jane McGrath Day at the Sydney Test, where Warnie just broke down a career's...

PM Distracts From RAT Disaster By Treating Novak Like He Took A Loaded Gun To Melbourne Airport

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The federal government’s decision to deport world tennis number 1 Novak Djokovic from Australia has been adjourned until Monday, as more details come to light surrounding his visa issues. This comes as Scotty From Marketing has managed to tilt the spotlight away from his disastrous handling of the rapid antigen test shortage this week, after leading the tall poppy...

Djokovic Sent To Pick Fruit Out The Back Of Griffith After Arriving In Melbourne With Wrong Visa

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tennis world number one Novak Djokovic has been given an ultimatum by the the Australian Government this morning. Either pack your bags, or pack some boxes. This comes as the 34-year-old faces deportation from Australia after his visa was cancelled this morning. The non-stop drama that surrounds the stroppy Serb continues, as Djokovic landed at Melbourne's Tullamarine airport late last...

Cricket Fans Rejoice As Rain Delays Result In Close To 2 Hours Of The Skull’s Finest One-Liners

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the punters has found that former Australian cricketer and current Fox cricket commentator, Kerry O’Keefe is on fire this afternoon, as rain delays result in close to two hours of banter between KOK and his colleagues. On top of the fact that the Australian side have already snatched The Ashes from the hands of the...

“There’s Still Time” Whispers 32-Year-Old Park Cricketer Watching Scott Boland Nab A 6fa On Debut

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Betoota Grove Mitsubishi salesman, Geordie Nuttal (32), hasn’t felt like this since he saw Cathy win Gold in 2000. Sitting on the couch this morning, after 5 days of binge drinking and honey-glazed ham, the dribbliest park cricketer in the Diamantina Shire has just realised that the baggy green is not 100% out of reach. This follows the Victorian...

Bowling, Boland

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a glorious sporting fairytale, Victorian bowler Scott Boland has almost single-handedly won the Ashes for Australia on debut. After years of whittling away at a state level, the 32-year-old was called up as injury cover after the second Ashes Test and unexpectedly got the nod for the third match with an array of injuries and close contacts. Boland...

Paul Gallen Confident He’s Gonna Go 3-0 Against The Manly Warringah Sea Eagles

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former NSW NRL Captain turned heavyweight boxers, Paul Gallen, is predicting a short and sharp finish to his upcoming bout against fellow ex-rugby league player Darcy Lussick. Darcy Lussick agreed to the fight with just two weeks' notice, after the initial opponent, Manly Sea Eagles prop Josh Aloiai contracted COVID-19. Gallen (11-1) is far more experienced in the ring....

English Test Side Commended For Unprecedented Ranga To Non-Ranga Ratio

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Rednuts everywhere have commended the English cricket side today, after taking to the pitch in South Australia with more rangas than any other professional sporting side in world history. It was during the English anthem that the world was given a good look at the poms, lined up alongside one another with no hats or helmets, in the blazing...

World Of Combat Sports Now Familiar With Uniquely Western Sydney Technique Of Just Feeding ‘Em

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT THIS AIN'T HOME AND AWAY: Western Sydney UFC heavyweight Bam Bam Tuivasa has notched another brutal knockout in Las Vegas over the weekend, bringing his record to four consecutive wins — all by KO. After struggling through a three-fight losing streak, Tuivasa returned to form last year after relocating to Dubai to avoid Australia's strict hotel quarantine requirements before...

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