Sports

JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact The North Melbourne Kangaroos will win the 2023 AFL Premiership, it has been confirmed. The guarantee comes after the Roos, who were the wooden-spooners for the last two seasons, came out firing in Round 1 to beat the WCE on the weekend.  The stirring victory has tongues wagging, and big wigs within the club claim that the new...

JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact AFL 360 is back baby and if you are wondering where that blinding light is coming from, it’s shining right out of AFL media legend Gerard Whateley’s backside. Universally loved, Whateley’s won every award you can win as a sports journalist. Including the highly coveted Australian Football Media Association’s Alf Brown Award for most outstanding media performer...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The subbies, apprentices and day 1 veterans of Betoota's premiere construction company, BuildZone, have been walking on egg shells these past month. The erratic temper and venomous tongue of foreman Bob Shayler (53) has thrown a spanner into the workplace culture, as even the most stone cold Serbian gyprockers are getting a spray on the new Betoota Chase shopping...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Popular cricket identity Mark Waugh has shrugged off Virat Kohli's first century this decade, telling viewers of Fox Cricket that he reckons you could dig up the remains of the late Fred Spofforth, put some pads on the corpse, and Fred would also be able to ton up on this pitch. "This isn't a bit...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has today received the shock of his life, after waking up in a strange world many years from now. Speaking from a weird dystopian parallel universe one of our reporter's cousin's found on YouTube, Brett Harburgh says he's not really sure what's going on. "Man, I just woke up in the strange world this morning,"...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A life member of the Brisbane Broncos is doing the unthinkable this evening as he begins to contemplate a switch to the bright side. Attempting to hide his identity by wearing a full length Driza-bone on a balmy Brisbane night, The Advocate understands local Enoggera man, Terry Kilroy, has decided to use the cover of darkness to...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Eyebrows have been raised in the city of Newcastle today, as the local port authority welcomes its first ever delivery of an alternative fuel source. The Advocate understands that at 8:52am this morning horns were honked across the Newcastle harbour, as locals gathered together wave in a 100,000 ton container ship transporting Jim Beam & Cola. Famous for...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Pre-match fanfare is well underway as undefeated Aussie boxing superstar Tim Tszyu returns to the ring to take on USA’s former world champion Tony Harrison for an Interim WBO Super Welterweight. However, it seems that this week's media events have resulted in some exceptionally low blows between the fighters. As part of the build up to Sunday’s WBO championship bout...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Queensland dad, who isn't really that into footy, has spent the last 12 hours in contemplated silence - after finally getting a good insight into how Wayne Bennett operates. Fraser Coorey (58) says that outside of the State Of Origin, he only really watches footy when it's playing at the pub. But that doesn't mean he's not highly invested...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The set builders at FoxSports are being applauded this week for their work in crafting a fully functioning guillotine. With head coach redundancy drums already beating loudly at multiple NRL clubs including the Dragons, Knights and the Titans, The Advocate understands a team of carpenters, engineers and set designers at FoxSports were told that during the off-season,...