Sports

Nation Has Already Forgotten All Those Other Headlines About Ussie Earlier In The Week

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite only managing to wrangle a gritty 28, the fact that Usman Khawaja managed to send Virat Kohli back to the sheds on three runs yesterday has been enough for Australia to forget all that other stuff that was in the news this week. As one of Australia's most experienced and humble test cricketers in the current side,...

David Leyonhjelm Wishes The ‘Young Brown Men’ Luck In The Cricket Today

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Indian Cricket Team have received some encouraging words from Liberal Democrat Senator David Leyonhjelm this morning. The libertarian senator from NSW issued a statement this morning wishing all the 'young brown men' luck in the cricket today. "Good luck to the young brown men taking part in the test match down in Adelaide today, I hope that you enjoy...

Two Men Accused Of Brisbane Siege Released On Bail Under Strict Conditions

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news out of the river city of Brisbane, the names of the two men at the centre of yesterday afternoon's siege have been released by Queensland Police. The pair sent the city into lockdown yesterday after they became engaged in a tense 6-hour standoff with police and allegedly fired shots at law enforcement officials. In a sensational...

Rabbitohs Players Confused After Darius Boyd Turns Up At Training Unannounced

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Darius Boyd has caused even more confusion at the South Sydney Rabbitohs organisation today. After the resolution of an extremely poorly managed and confusing coaching situation (which saw Wayne Bennett and Anthony Siebold finally do the coach swap), the Brisbane contracted Darius Boyd has further muddied the waters. The Broncos fullback and apple of Wayne Bennett's eye caused the furrowed...

‘This Is Sad’ Says Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The country has let out a collective sigh of exasperation this evening, as it prepares for the boxing match that was apparently supposed to capture the imagination of a nation. As a few people around the country prepare for 'The River Side Rumble,' the bout will see Anthony 'The Man' Mundine and Jeff 'The Hornet' Horn go head...

Michael Clarke Demonstrates That He Means Business And Asks Hairdresser To Frost The Tips

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Michael Clarke-Gerard Whateley feud has escalated this afternoon, with the former Australian Captain firing off a stern warning. Clarke sent Whateley the strongest message yet, by heading down to his local barber this afternoon and asking him to fire up the frosted tips. "If this pen pushing journo whose never played a game of cricket for his country wants...

Rugby Australia Hunting Coach Who’ll Fix Every Systemic Problem Within Their Organisation – In 11 Months

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The nation's peak rugby union body has announced this morning that they're on the lookout for a coach who will fix the myriad of cultural, structural and social problems that have plagued the organisation in recent years. Under-siege Wallabies coach Micheal Cheika was all but guaranteed his job until next year's World Cup but as...

Scott Morrison Attempts To Patch Things Up With Julia Banks With A Thoughtful Gift

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today done his part to make sure there is no bad blood between himself and departing Liberal MP Julia Banks. After spending the afternoon tossing up what would be the best way to say he's sorry, Morrison decided to drive down to one of those big department stores his missus is always banging...

Hooper Wondering If He Should Tell Cheika That He Caught Pocock Reading After Lights Out

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australian rugby captain Michael 'Micky The Bull' Hooper is today grappling with the toughest decision of them all. That is, whether or not he snitches on Wallabies veteran and teammate David Pocock, who has reportedly been reading The Guardian news reports after the 11pm lights out. Pocock, who has a habit of reading as much climate science research as...

Sydney Dust Storm Caused By Parramatta Eels Opening Trophy Cabinet To Remove Portrait Of Hayne

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Parramatta Eels are facing the wrath of Sydneysiders today after being revealed as the cause of the dust storm sweeping over the city this afternoon. While meteorologists originally thought the dust storm may have come from the Western region of the state, The Betoota Advocate can reveal that they the blanket of dust has come from the Parramatta Eels trophy cabinet. Aside...

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