Sports

Wallabies Come-From-Behind Victory Proves Nothing Is Wrong At Rugby Australia

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Wallabies are back in winning form and ready to win the Rugby World Cup in Japan next year. That's the message today from rugby union's governing body, Rugy Australia. Sunday morning local time, the boys in gold took on the Pumas at altitude in Argentina and at halftime, looked to be going down in spectacular,...

Woman Blamed For Cancellation Of TV Show That Should’ve Ended When She Was In High School

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In heartbreaking news for anyone with a lifetime of nostalgia to misplace, Channel Nine  has confirmed that network executives have decided the NRL Footy Show concept will not return in any format in 2019. The network released a statement confirming it is moving to revolutionise its rugby league coverage after another year of disastrous ratings, which many producers put down...

Wallabies Fan Who Stayed Up To Watch Them Doesn’t Know How Much Faith He Can Keep

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact At one o'clock last Saturday morning, a local rugby fan threw caution to the wind and decided to stay up until fourish to watch the down-on-their-luck Qantas Wallabies take on the Springboks. Matthew Longford-Coleman likened staying up that late to see the men in gold play away to gambling - saying that it could be...

Sydney Roosters Administrators Immediately Begin Shredding Documents

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the Sydney Rooster's 21-6 win over the Melbourne Storm, executive staffmembers ordered to watch the fort at the Roosters' HQ have immediately begun destroying any form of a paper trail. This includes third-party contracts, players contracts and of course any minutes of any meeting with Eastern Suburbs business owners that may or may not have resulted in a...

Conor McGregor’s Team Bug Local Pub To Hear What Fan Reckons Will Help Him Beat Khabib

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact An unlikely tactic of Conor McGregor’s team has emerged today after a small covert listening device was found under the table at Betoota’s Imperial Hotel. The Advocate can confirm that head coach John Kavanagh has been planting bugs in pubs all across Betoota in the lead up to his fight against Dagestanian Khabib Nurmagomedov to...

Nation Collectively Laughs At Eddie McGuire

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia has exhaled in relief as Collingwood personality Eddie McGuire goes home once disappointed from the MCG today after his Pies went down to the Westcoastmen in the VFL grand final. After the exhale, the nation collectively laugh at the Scorpio. Earlier in the week, the McGuire asked all Victorians to get behind Collingwood in the grand...

Collingwood Runner Alex Woodward Wins Norm Smith Medal

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The internet has been broken after Collingwood runner Alex Woodward won the Norm Smith Medel for best on field at the AFL Grand Final at the MCG. West Coast took the lead after halftime due to a brilliant play by the 25-year-old and went on to win the contest. More to come.

Man Watching First VFL Game This Year Shouts “Ball!” At Pub Television Intermittently

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Camelia Grove Hotel in the French Quarter is heaving with young men shouting "Ball!" at the television playing the VFL Grand Final every 4 to 6 minutes. "Ball!" said one weak-chinned Victorian ex-pat. Two of his mates nodded. "Ball," they said in unison - but softer. Another young professional ordering pint of imported Melbourne Bitter at the...

Sydney Roosters Accountant Wins Dally M Award For Cleanest Books Of The Year

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT While some of the NRL’s award winners from last night are sporting sore heads this morning, that isn’t the case for the Sydney Roosters accountant. In typical accounting fashion, Nick Robinson is back at his desk this morning working diligently away on some Third Party Deals. The 52-year-old father of 2 thumped his other NRL club rivals to win...

National Parks And Wildlife Officially Declare Billy Slater A Protected Species

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT National Parks have today granted rugby league great and Melbourne Storm fullback Billy Slater protection under the Biodiversity Conservation Act (2016). The announcement comes after the NRL cleared the champion fullback to play in this weekend's premiership decider. The NRL’s decision came after a mammoth judiciary hearing whereby Slater’s legal counsel Cameron Smith pleaded the case for a couple...

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