Sports

Brisbane Intellectuals Ask Bartender If The Keno TV Can Be Used To Play Carlton V Richmond

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the world of AFL football, Carlton have only just bested a limping Richmond by five points at the MCG for round 1 last night. Just one week after their 46 point pumping of Brisbane Lions at the Gabba, the Blues have been very lucky to notch two in a row. with 12.14 (86) to 12.9 (81) in front...

“Cheese What Are You Still Doing Here!?” Says Bam Bam After Stumbling Across Shoeless Brandon Smith In Vegas

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Two weeks after the inaugural NRL Vegas Round, and it seems the people of Nevada are still hosting some of the rowdiest Australian sports fans to ever board an international flight. And the Aussie blood sports continue this week, as our athletes swap a rugby league oval for an octagon. In this Sunday's UFC Vegas 88 main event, Western Sydney...

NRL Judiciary’s Week-Long Decision Spares Leniu The Horror Of Returning For Round 9 In The Cauldron

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a week of allowing moronic public debate around what is and isn't racist, The NRL Judiciary has last night finally handed down an appropriate punishment for Sydney Rooster's prop Spencer Leniu. After feeding the vultures in Australia's media 7 days worth of sensationalist headlines that did nothing but stoke racist hot buttons within the Australian public, Leniu was...

Knights Fan Insists His Side Would’ve Been In Vegas If Tinkler Was Still Around

KEITH T. DENNENT | Sport | Contact A proud Novacastrian has been asked to take off his rose-coloured glasses today as he yearns for years of old. After watching the NRL take the Bunnies, Broncos, Roosters and the league’s most hated team, Manly, on a giant pre-season bender in Vegas, Robbie O’Gidley (38) of Denman says his beloved Knights were unlucky...

NFL And NBA Now Seriously Concerned About Losing Fans To Australia’s Domestic Rugby League Comp

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 2024 NFL Super Bowl broke records with audience numbers, after a combination of Swifties, 2000s RnB fans, and genuine football enthusiasts tuned in to the most watched sporting event in American history. More than 200 million viewers watched all-or-part of Super Bowl LVIII across all networks, the highest unduplicated total audience in history. Unfortunately, while the excitement didn't last...

NZ Cricket Chef Rolls Out Red Carpet For Lunch, Treating Aussies To Luxurious ‘Muxed Grull’

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact After having a bit of a tough time with the bat, the Australian cricket team has today had their spirits cheered a little. The cause for the upending of the frown, came from New Zealand Cricket hiring the countrys most fabled 'sheff' - Grant Van Nisberg-Mehrtens - to feed the visiting team for lunch. Deciding to treat the...

Basin Reserve Curator Prepares A Slow Deck To Counter Australian Pace Attack

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The curator of Wellington's Basin Reserve has told The Advocate that he has prepared a slower deck for tomorrow Test Match in order to pacify the Australian pace attack. For the past two seasons, the Australian Cricket Team has been spearheaded by the bowling of captain Pat Cummins, Mitchell Starc, Josh Hazelwood and Cameron Green....

Rugby Australia Put The Finishing Touches On Menu For This Weekend’s Super Round In Melbourne

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's brightest and most innovative rugby minds have today given themselves a long lunch, after ticking off a big item on the agenda - the food for Super Round. Super Round is supposed to take place in Melbourne this weekend, with the geniuses who market the game putting it on the same week the NRL goes to...

Barnaby Has Another Solo Round Of Golf As Effort To Keep Off The Grog Intensifies

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Member for New England Barnaby Joyce has enjoyed a round of golf on his own today in Armidale in what he describes as merely something to keep himself occupied. Mr Joyce is taking time away from work to relax and take stock after greening out on the pavement in Canberra a few weeks ago...

Rugby Fan Wonders How In The Hell This Could Be Longer Than 20 Minutes Considering What Happened

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A curious rugby fan decided to inflict some unnecessary pain upon himself last night by watching the Stan Sport documentary about the Wallabies campaign at last year's Rugby World Cup in France. The 3-part documentary series runs for over three hours, which confused Betoota Grove rugby tragic John Alistair Wallace at first and as the...

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