Sports

Report: Fuck Stoinis Is Stacked

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's not the first time the Betoota Advocate has reported on this, but the facts remain the same. Western Australia and Melbourne Stars cricketer, Marcus Stoinis, is stacked. Not in a steroidy Western Australian AFL player way either. It's a natural, creatine and iron, type stacked. Four years ago, in 2020, The Betoota Advocate reported 'How Bout The Pipes...

Delusional Blues Fan Says Red Cards Should Only Be Given For Voluntary Manslaughter Or Worse

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NSW Blues fans and media commentators are at fever pitch today, as the blame game begins. This comes as Queensland's biggest victory ever was recorded last night in Sydney, with the Maroons notching up a 38-10 win in the first match of the 2024 State Of Origin. As is always the case, both pundits and fans have begun pointing...

Cast Of Hamilton The Musical To Be Given Chance To Butcher National Anthem At Game 2

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The cast of Hamilton are set to perform 'Advance Australia Fair' at Game 2 of State of Origin at the MCG in 20 days time. The Tony®, Grammy®, Olivier and Pulitzer Prize winning musical returns to Melbourne later this year and as is tradition, select members of the esteemed cast will be given the opportunity to promote...

Mum Delighted To Spend An Uninterrupted Evening With Her Book After Being Informed Origin Is On

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's mate versus mate. State versus state. Not since the era of gladiatorial combat have we seen a competition so fierce. The rivalries between these teams date back decades. It's more than football. It's about pride. It's about love and hate and loyalty and mateship. It's about the State Of Origin. And local mother-of-three Debbie Cunningham (50) could not...

Slater Tells Maroons To Not Get Thrown Off By A Half-Empty Stadium Because Matildas Are In Sydney

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland Origin Coach Billy Slater has today had to explain his team that the pandemic-era social distancing protocols no longer apply in Sydney. Because as the pride of Queensland, the legendary Maroons squad have been left quite surprised by the dismal turn out of fans for the NSW opponents in their home state. Throughout the week's press conferences and...

The Many Warring Factions Of NSW Put Differences Aside To Crush Uncultured Hicks From Up North

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT In a stunning display of cross-class unity, an Eastern Suburbs Sydney man and a Westie man have miraculously put their differences aside to focus on a common goal: annihilating the Queensland rugby league team. These two warring factions were also join by several other mutually hostile New South Wales archetypes: the bushies and the coasties On this brisk Wednesday down...

“Origin Is Just A Sideshow From The Real NRL” Says Sydney Man Who Hasn’t Got Much Hope For Either

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT We are just two days out from one of the biggest events in Australia's sporting calendar, with the first match of the men's State of Origin series set to kick off in Sydney on Wednesday. Queensland is heading into Game I defending a two-year streak against New South Wales, which adds to the Maroons 85% series win rate...

NSW Blues Presented With Commemorative Heanie To Remember Their Time In The Blue Mountains

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The NSW Blues are leaving their Blue Mountains base on Sunday and making their way down the hill to Stadium Australia for Wednesday's first State of Origin clash against our Queensland underdogs. To remember their time in Sydney's 'Methalayas', the team has been presented with a commemorative 'heanie' or peaked beanie - the traditional headwear...

Reuben Cotter Reportedly First To Vomit As Slater Orders QLD Squad To Eat Truckload Of Bowen Mangos

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland State Of Origin coach Billy Slater has wasted no time in getting his Maroons squad prepared for the greatest sporting battle in modern Australian history, as the team heads south for their traditional camp at Sanctuary Cove. Aside from the game strategies and team dinners, the Maroons camp is known for both the gruelling and eccentric exercises...

Sua’ali’i Hoping Origin Debut Prepares Him For The Greatest Interstate Rivalry Of Them All

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact As the players assemble for the respective State of Origin camps, one of the game's newest stars has today spoken to The Advocate about making his debut. Joseph Sua'ali'i, a Sydney Roosters 'junior' and talented rap artist explained that he can't wait to run out for this state for the first time. Sensationally picked in a completely revamped...

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