Sports

Quality Of Sideline Heckle Spikes As Club Legends On The Hill Begin Violating Home Ground RSA

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local suburban footy club's 'wall of knowledge' are in weapon form today, after being parked on the hill for all four open grades, as well as colts. By the time open 3s ran on, local club legend 'Pelly' already had the crowd in hysterics with remarkably abusive and humilating comments about the volunteer referee's physical appearance. In a brief...

Random Souths Guy Spotted At Domestic Korean Ping Pong Tournament In Gangnam District

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Forget Austin Powers, the real international man of mystery is the ‘Random Souths Guy.’ That fabled guy has today appeared in the crowd at some Table Tennis tournament in the heart of the three Gangnam districts within the South Korean capital of Seoul. For a few years now, the random fan has been appearing in the crowd of sporting events...

Gus Gould Fires Self In Ultimate Power Move

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact Following the sacking of Penrith Panthers head coach Anthony Griffiths and the headhunting of Tigers coach Ivan Cleary, Gus Gould has fired himself in what punters are calling the ultimate power move. Gould made several daring decisions during his tenure a general manager, including sacking coach Ivan Cleary in 2015 and offering him his job...

Nation Somehow Stunned 35-Year-Old Man Is Retiring From Rugby League

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A popular 35-year-old Queenslander has decided this season of high-octane rugby league will be his last, leaving the eastern seaboard reeling. Billy Slater, arguably the greatest rugby league fullback of all time, ended months of speculation this morning by telling the media in Melbourne that he is planning to hang the boots up come September. "Full...

7 Photos Of Ricky Stuart That’ll Make You Say Fuck Coaching The Raiders Must Be Tough

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Sitting just outside the final eight, stress is at an all time high in the Bush Capital, with coach Sticky Ricky Stuart just as stressed as his fans are. While the Raiders need to win all five of their remaining games to have a chance of playing finals, their remarkably on-and-off form this season must be making life tough...

Cricket Australia Move Swiftly To Reassure Public That They Are Still Fuckwits

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Not even a full four months since they dragged our humble captain, Steve Smith, across the coals, Cricket Australia has once again terminated someone's employment for something quite petty. The lawyer representing a Cricket Australia employee allegedly sacked over a series of tweets criticising the Tasmanian Government and abortion rights in the state believes there is more to the...

Hipsters Distance Themselves From Hairstyle They Invented After It Appears In The NRL

LEROY PERCIVAL | Culture | Contact What was recently the haircut of choice for trendsetters on the fringes of Sydney and Melbourne CBD’s, has been swiftly abandoned, after making it’s debut appearance in round 18 of the National Rugby League.   Barber shops throughout Fitzroy and Newtown were booked solid after Channel 9’s NRL highlights reel showed a young recruit breaking through the line of defnece...

New ‘DIY Swing King’ To Ship With Sandpaper, Lip Balm And Vial Of Wasim Akram’s Sweat

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In an attempt to make the next generation of Australian cricketers have a competitive edge, backyard favourite 'Swing King' have announced plans to introduce a "DIY Swing King" to the market this spring. The Swing King Pack ships with a replica yellow sandpaper sheet, a stick of Watermelon Splash lip balm and a small vial...

Latent Misogynist’s Eyes Set To Remain Glazed Over Until It’s His Turn To Speak Again

INGRID DOULTON | Relationships | Contact A prominent Betoota Grove fuck boy from a well-heeled fuck family has spoken this afternoon of his plan to keep his eyes glazed over until the next small lull in conversation affords him the opportunity to pick up where he was so rudely interrupted. Peter Debonaire, a 28-year-old Betootacone Valley fintech youngtrepreneur, found himself at an industry networking event...

Billy Slater Wins FIFA World Cup’s Golden Ball Despite Not Playing A Single Game

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Retiring Origin great Billy Slater has been thrust back into the headlines again today, after controversially winning the Golden Ball overnight. The Golden Ball is the award handed out to the best player at the FIFA World Cup, and at 3AM Queensland time last night, outgoing Maroons Fullback, Bily Slater was sensationally announced as the award's...

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