Sports

International Celebrity Visiting Melbourne Forgets To Organise Kick With AFL Club

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In an incredible lapse of judgement, a famous international movie star's PR team has completely forgotten to tee up a kick around with an AFL team while the celebrity stops into Melbourne this week. Ignoring page three of the Publicity handbook, Melissa McCarthy's publicist somehow forgot to organise...

Inside Brisbane’s Proposed Second NRL Team: The Bayside Coat Hangers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Brisbane Broncos are set to have a little competition heading in the 2020s - with a fully formed team from the city's mangrove-laden Eastern Suburbs announcing their willingness to take the 17th spot. The magical men in magenta have enjoyed a 4 million-fan territory in Brisbane as the...

Novak Djokovic Begins Training For Aus Open Title Defence With Sessions In Revolver Smoking Area

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT 7-time Australian Open champion Novak Djokovic has wowed the sporting world today by revealing his gruelling training regime. The current World Number 2 allowed The Advocate exclusive access into one of his secret training sessions at the famous Revolver nightclub in Melbourne. This comes after...

Redfern Yoga Instructor Absolutely Stoked With The News About Latrell

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 39-year-old former craft beer industry digital marketing manager turned yoga instructor, Bodhi Jentrephi has an even slightly bigger smile on his face today. It's not just because he's stoned, it's not because of the new coffee Campos coffee joint that opened in the old hardware store opposite his terrace...

Oh Shit: Wayne’s Smiling

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The entire NRL community outside of Redfern to Maroubra are today shitting themselves, after seeing Wayne Bennett smile during a press conference this arvo. This comes as rugby league superstar Latrell Mitchell finally signs a one-year deal with South Sydney today, confirming his arrival at the club for season...

Nick Kyrgios Glad To Have Redeemed Himself In The Eyes Of Barry From Capalaba

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Australian tennis star Nick Kyrgios has today breathed a huge sigh of relief. This comes after the man responsible for showing more leadership on the bushfires currently devastating Australia than people like Scotty from Marketing was informed that Barry from Capalaba's changed his tune on what he thinks...

Disgraceful: NRL Player Caught Making Most Of His Talent And Doing What’s Best For His Family

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Australian sports journalist continue to hysterically drum clickbait regarding Latrell Mitchell, the 22-year-old double premiership winning NRL star is attracting criticism for taking his time and thoroughly exploring his career options. There has been roughly 120 articles written about Latrell Mitchell since the full-time buzzer of the...

Cheerful Rural Fireys Call It A Day And Get Ready To Cheer The Boys On Over In Perth

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The firefighters battling blazes across the Eastern Seaboard have decided to finally call it a day. As the nation prepares to take on New Zealand in what looms as a mouthwatering matchup with a strong Kiwi team, the call of 'hoses down' has rung out around the bush.

NRL Tells Players To Head Down To Bondi Now And Squeeze In A Few Benders While No One Can See

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Earlier today, NSW Health officials recommended that Sydney residents stay indoors between 11.00am and 4.00pm if possible, as the combination of a 30-40 degree day and severe air pollution may present severe health risks for the elderly and those with respiratory issues. While dense bushfire smoke has been...

Cronulla Sharks Refuse To Explain Where All Their New Russian Players Have Come From

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The fallout from the World Anti Doping Agency's (WADA) decision to ban Russia from all major international sporting events has reached the Shire this morning. WADA took the decision after concluding that Moscow had tampered with laboratory data by planting fake evidence and deleting files linked to positive...

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