Sports

NRL Fans Still Waiting For Sonny Bill To Sonny Bill Someone

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Sydney Rooster's late inclusion to the 2020 squad is still yet to reach his 2004, or even 2012, potential when it comes to inflicting the most physical pain legally allowed on a rugby league field. Sonny Bill Williams impressed in his brief appearances for the boys from Bondi...

NSW Police Hire Willie Mason As Rugby League Liaison Officer Following Curtis Scott Incident

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The NSW Police have today announced changes to their engagement with the rugby league community, after NRL Curtis Scott was cleared of all wrongdoing with the emergence of shocking police bodycam footage of his brutal arrest. The 22-year-old was arrested on Australia Day when police found him lying unconscious...

NRL Judiciary Suspends The Entire Sharks Team For Their Performance Against The Knights

BEAU RIVERS | Local News | Contact The NRL judiciary has tonight handed down an entirely fair and reasonable decision, suspending the entire Cronulla-Sutherland outfit for this weekend's game against the Warriors.  The decision comes after the club embarrassed itself last week against a similarly positioned Knights team in the race for the finals.

Mate Gets Sent Off By The Boys For An HIA After Talking Too Much Shit At The Pub

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local pub patron has today been sent to the bar by his mates for an HIA, after talking a concerning amount of shit. Usually reserved for rugby league knock-outs and the occasional high-impact header in soccer, an HIA stands for 'Head Injury Assesment' and is treated extremely seriously...

Tennis World Unanimously Sympathises With US Line Judge After Clarification It Wasn’t Ellen

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The tennis fraternity is today unanimously piling on Novak Djokovic, after the background of the US Open Line judge he hit was revealed. While the majority of people who follow the sport were of the opinion that his behaviour was unacceptable and he should have known better, some...

1:15PM Monday Sleep-In Sets Horrible Precedent For Local JobKeeper

LOUIS BOURKE | Culture | CONTACT Local Jobkeeper recipient Olivia Siska (32) has put herself behind the 8 ball from the get-go this week with an ill-planned Monday morning sleep in. Due to the economic impact of COVID-19 and recession the coalition government swears would never have happened otherwise, Siska was stood down from her...

Novak Djokovic Appears To Care About Someone Struggling To Breathe Because Of His Actions

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The already weird US Open* got even weirder this morning, after Novak Djokovic took responsibility for his actions, or tried to look as if he was at the very least. The number one seed and odds on favourite to win the tournament did so after hitting an official...

“Panthers Will Choke In Finals” Says Bloke Who Thought Shorten Was A Sure Bet

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With only three rounds of regular season footy remaining, couch commentators are coming out with the most cutting hot takes that they read while on the dunny.  One such clairvoyant is West Tigers supporter Rodney Tumble (46) who has foreseen that Minor Premiership shoe-ins the Penrith Panthers will choke...

Adelaide Winemakers Report Thousands Of Spoiled Vats After Sharp Increase In Sour Grapes

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT South Australian wine regions are reportedly in a panic today, and it isn't necessarily because the Prime Minister has failed to hose down growing hostilities with our largest export market because it's much easier, from a marketing viewpoint, to blame the growing Melbourne aged care deaths on China for inventing this virus,...

Joyous Scenes At Pineapple Hotel As The 3 Blokes In Queensland Who Follow AFL Hear The News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT There were scenes of jubilance at The Pineapple Hotel in Kangaroo Point earlier this afternoon, as the three men in Queensland who follow every match of AFL - even when the Lions aren't playing well - learnt the news that AFL grand final will be played at the Gabba in Brisbane on...

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