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Dutton: “A Chinese Naval Ship Has Been Spotted Near The Darwin Port That We Sold To China”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Defence Minister Peter Dutton has dragged the election news cycle away from his bumbling leader Scott Morrison today, by banging the drums of war and accusing China of an 'act of aggression'. According to intelligence officials, a Chinese naval ship has been tracked off the West Australian coast, which is definitely something that all Australians should keep in mind...

Abortion Should Be Banned Says American Man Who Was Chanting My Body My Choice A Year Ago

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT An American citizen has this month revealed a sensational u-turn in regards to his position on personal freedom. Area man from some middle American state, Aaron Williams has explained to The Advocate that he is now no longer as passionate about people's rights as he was a year ago. This follows the leaking of a Supreme Court opinion...

Country Where 45,000 People A Year Are Killed By Guns Apparently Concerned About Human Life

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The so-called United States of America has once again reminded the wolrd, that they are only the land of the free for certain sections of society. This reminder comes in the form of a leaked Supreme Court opinion which reveals it is set to get rid of the precedent that guarantees abortion as a constitutional right. The court...

Pacific Situation Worsens As NZ Agrees To Chinese Base In Exchange For A Yum Cha In Auckland

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The unfolding security and diplomacy situation in the Pacific region has worsened again today, with a major development breaking across the dutch. After weeks of concern about China building a military base in the Solomon Islands, it can now be revealed that New Zealand and China have agreed to a historic security pact. Under the pact, New Zealand...

Bondi’s Pommy Backpackers Left Heartbroken Now That Sydney Is Basically Glasgow With No Good Pubs

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After two years of closed borders due to the pandemic, it seems Australia's recent climate-changed aided weather patterns are doing very little to encourage wide-eyed young foreigners back to our shores. Whether they are ustudents that come from disgustingly wealthy Oligarch families that pay one of our universities $250,000 in cash for an undergraduate degree, or they make up...

CIA Approach Dennis Rodman To See If He’d Be Interested In Befriending Vladimir Putin As Well

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT America's Central Intellegnece Agency has today revealed an interesting to plan to try and settle things down in Eastern Europe. After talking a big game about standing up to Russia and China, but doing nothing other than imposing sanctions and selling trillions of dollars of arms to the global community, America is apparently hoping to sneak a modern...

Ricky Gervais Approaches Golden Globes For One Last MC Gig After Chris Rock Sets A New Benchmark

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT British comedian Ricky Gervais has decided he's not ready to put the microphone down just yet, after witnessing a tantrum at the 2022 Oscar Awards that makes him rather envious. The 60-year-old shit stirrer has today reportedly been on the phone to the Golden Globes, demanding they give him one more shot at hurting the feelings of multi-millionaire actors...

Will Smith Reminds Hollywood That He’s West Philadelphia Born And Raised

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It seems that US comedian Chris Rock is not familiar with the premise of one of the most popular American TV shows in the history of light entertainment. This was on full display for all at the 2022 Oscars today, as Will Smith reminded a global audience that he wasn't necessarily playing a character in the 'Fresh Prince Of...

Office Millennials Now Approaching A Full 45 Minutes Discussing Zendaya’s Oscars Outfit

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the 2022 Oscar Awards get underway, the post-pandemic red carpet is once again swimming in the usual glitz and glamour, with media given the opportunity to photograph some of the most amazing designer dresses in the world. That, as well as like 150 men wearing what appears to be the exact same suit. As usual Hollywood has once again...

Report: Did Covid Kill Soundcloud Rap? Or Did We Just Admit That It Made Us Feel Uncomfortable?

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As hard as it is to remember, there once was a time where the only health hazards at live music events were crowd control, proper fire safety, hearing damage and good old fashion millennial anxiety. But thanks to the spicey cough, concerts became so dangerous that we couldn’t even have them at all. For two years, musicians, crew and...

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