World News

Bloke Dedicated To People Injured At War Weirdly Not Keen On Being A Part Of Sending Them There

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A bloke who has experienced nothing but shit talk and a dead mother at the hands of the salivating media and political castes who have decided his family are more equal than the rest of the world, is surprisingly not into this particular form of imperialism. The entire commonwealth are...

Government Makes Mistake Of Exposing Australian Citizens To How Shit Christmas Island Is

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the world and nation come to terms with the rapid spread of the devastating Coronavirus, the Government is today under fire for a glaring error. Desperately needing to get Australians out of the epicentre for the deadly virus in Wuhan, the Australian government has made the foolish...

Veronicas Pretty Much Brisbane’s t.A.t.U When You Think About It

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact T.A.t.U were the Russian pop duo who rocked our worlds during the 00s, and as Brisbane woman Tyler Moore is today realising, the Veronicas are basically the Aussie version of them. During the 2000s t.A.t.U was certified gold in the United States with the international hits "All the Things...

Australian Stuck In Wuhan Thanks Government For Generous Evac Offer But Say’s She’ll Hang Tight

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young Australian woman named Bianca Sams has today told DFAT that she's all good, thanks. The rejection came after someone from the department offered her a one-way ticket from the Hubei province in China to the quaint little Island of Christmas off the coast of Indonesia.

NASA Announce Mars Volunteers Must Stand Outside In Penrith For An Hour To Pass Physical

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact If climate change deniers needed another sign that climate change is real and we are all going to die when Earth becomes a fiery hell, today’s announcement from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) might be the one to change their minds. NASA today announced that instead of...

JK Rowling Reveals Australian Wizards Are Anti #changethedate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Author of the best selling Harry Potter series and the gift that keeps on shitting, JK Rowling has made a shocking announcement that has sparked a heated debate amongst the Australian Harry Potter fandom. While shocking many, diehard Harry Potter fans claim they are not surprised, citing Rowling's transphobic...

Zero Reception Referred To In Colleague’s OOO Seemingly Not Affecting Social Media Presence

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Young media professional Rhyce Lukas has been on holidays in a remote tropical location for the past 2 weeks and according to his out of office reply, he won’t be able to reply to any emails because there’s no reception, so if it’s not urgent it’ll have to wait until January 20...

“Oscars Are So White” Says Hipster Who Hated The Wire Because She Couldn’t Understand ‘Them’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT When it comes to representation on screen, one local Lena Dunham-enthusiast by the name of Brontè Brunswick (24) is sick of the excuses. The film and TV industry, particularly in Hollywood, is far too pale, male and stale. In fact, if it wasn't for the archaic...

Prince Harry And Meghan’s Security Detail To Be Replaced By A Pitty Named Tyson

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT One significant roadblock to independence for Harry and Meghan has been removed today it can be confirmed. The Betoota Advocate can exclusively reveal, that $1.9 million issue of the Sussex's security detail has been solved by the purchase of a Pitbull named Tyson. The issue of...

Unemployed Prince Harry Takes To Facebook With Vague Status About Being Sick Of The Drama

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the Royal family prepares for an 'emergency crisis meeting' convened by the Queen, wantaway Prince Harry has thickened the plot with a vague, passive-aggressive Facebook status. After days of intense scrutiny over his and Meghan's decision to step down from their Royal duties and attempt to become...

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