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Joe Biden To Quit Politics And Spend A Year Or Two Living In London While He’s Still Young

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Joe Biden has dramatically quit the race for president, bowing to pleas from key political allies who are worried he doesn't have what it takes to win a second time, especially that really cool photo of Donald Trump covered in blood under the American flag. The one-term President announced that he was ending his effort to seek another term,...

Someone Older Also A Better Option

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite his disastrous debate performance, and several career-defining gaffes over the last 24 hours - President Joe Biden has insisted that he's staying in the race. With Congress returning to session, several senior House Democrats have called on Biden to step down - however, the wider Democratic Party remain confident in Biden. Onlookers also remain confident that the Democrats know...

Biden Says Confusing Zelensky With Putin Will Not Affect His Chances Of Defeating Nixon In November

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT President Joe Biden has made a number of gaffes this morning that has only caused more nervousness within the Democrats. Moments ago the President accidentally referred to his Vice President Kamala Harris as “Vice President Trump” while answering the first question at a high-stakes press conference that aimed to convince the rest of his high-ranking Democratic officials to re-endorse...

Family Struggling To Take Drivers License Off Grandpa Now Sympathising With The US Democrats

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former US House speaker Nancy Pelosi has this week publicly casted doubts on President Joe Biden's ability to win a second election against Donald Trump in November. The uncertainty within the Democrats about their current candidate for the 2024 race has only magnified since last week's nightmare presidential debate, where Biden appeared to show signs of clear cognitive decline. This...

John Cena Announces Retirement From WWE Despite Not Being Seen For Decades

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT In shocking news from the wrestling world today, legend John Cena has announced his WWE retirement in an emotional farewell speech. Many fans were left confused by the wrestler's touching speech, after he spent almost 2 decades not being seen by anyone. "Wait, who is this guy?" Said one audience member. "I have never seen this man in my life. Why...

Democrats Weigh Up Jimmy Carter As Last Minute Replacement Following Biden’s Cognitive Decline

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT America's Democratic Party have made a bombshell revelation about who they will be taking to the upcoming US election. A party insider has confirmed to The Advocate this evening (Australian time) that they are about to press the button on a new Presidential Candidate. The Democrats are sensationally set to hand the presidential nomination to a man who...

Carmy Returns For 3rd Season To Shatter Romantic Stereotypes About Chefs Being Suave 

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact The third season of Disney+ and FX’s drama series ‘The Bear’ has returned to screen to rewrite the script on the hospitality industry.  The new season has shattered stereotypes that chefs are suave characters, by representing the gritty, chaotic and emotionally charged reality behind the doors of a kitchen that's so authentic, any person who’s ever worked in a...

Ronaldo Bursts Into Tears After Being Told He Can’t Take Every Single Kick In Penalty Shoot Out

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Lionel Messi fans are today walking on clouds today, after a rather amusing morning in the European Football Championships. For those who aren't familiar, the title of modern GOAT centres around Messi vs Ronaldo, often making for a heated discussion amongst football fans. The title of the actual GOAT is obviously shared by Pele and Maradona. The newest...

US Presidential Debate Not Far Off Grandpa And His Mate From Bowls Arguing Over Indigenous Voice

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President Joe Biden and former US President Donald Trump are today on stage together for the first time in four years, as the two geriatrics argue over who should lead the most powerful country in the world until 2028.. With Biden clocking in at 81 years of age, and Trump at 78, both men are too old to...

NYPD Says Timberlake Handed Himself Over Willingly: “It Feels Like Somethins Heatin Up, Can I Leave Wit Chu”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The New York Police Department can confirm that pop superstar Justin Timberlake showed little resistance when arrested for drink driving in Long Island last night. The 10-time Grammy winner was taken into custody at midnight in the wealthy Hamptons enclave of Sag Harbor. The pop star claimed to have consumed just “one martini" while partying late in the evening at...

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