World News

Barnaby Joyce Also Blames The Australian Greens For Record-Breaking Wildfires In California

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The scenes of wildfire devastation and apocalyptic smoke coming out of America may appear familiar to Australians, many of whom are still recovering for the 'Black Summer' bushfires that destroyed close to ten percent of the bushland across the nation's eastern seaboard through December and January. American firefighters are...

Year 4 Students Boycott Philosopher’s Stone After Learning J.K Rowling Got Cancelled On Twitter

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT British author JK Rowling has been dealt a devastating blow today, after the world's Year 4 students revealed they are boycotting her Harry Potter series. The surprising move comes as #RIPJKRowling trends on Twitter, with various twitter accounts declaring Rowling's career dead, apparently. The...

Public Shocked As Celebrities Give Baby Stupid Name

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Planet Earth has been left spinning dizzily on it’s axis this week after it was revealed that a celebrity couple has decided to give their child a stupid name, eschewing normal celebrity protocol of bestowing upon their offspring a sensible, non-teasable, traditional name, like Clancy or Errol.   Ed...

Californian Wildfires Remind Australians That The Blue Mountains Are Still So Fucked

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The dense wildfire smoke in the US state of California has made its way to the San Francisco area yesterday, causing the sky over the region to turn blood orange. Social media has been awash with emotive images showing the city looking like a Planet Mars, in the same...

Dwayne Johnson’s Family Get Tested After Being Unable To Smell What The Rock Is Cooking

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Another celebrity has fallen victim to the pandemic that is the Covid-19. Speaking via social media this morning, Dwayne Johnson revealed that he and his family have all been battling the virus in recent days, but his wife and two young daughters are feeling better.

World Genuinely Impressed Silvio Berlusconi Managed To Avoid COVID For This Long

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has finally succombed to the Covid-19. After the incredible year the world and Italy has had, the loudmouth Italian figure has greeted the inevitable. Doing so with his trademark smile, the notorious politician and media mogul revealed today...

US Police Struggling To Identify Link Between Civil Unrest And Them Killing Unarmed Black Men

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT American police are urging anyone with information surrounding why their country keeps descending into riots every couple months to immediately contact them. This comes as the Black Lives Matters demonstrations begin kick back up across the United States, three months after the police murder of George Floyd in Minnesota.

World Health Organisation Informs Putin That Syringe Full Of Smirnoff Vodka Is Not A Vaccine

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact The eagerly awaited Russian COVID-19 Vaccine unveiled by Russian leader Vladimir Putin is being administered to 40,000 test subjects, as part of Stage 3 clinical trials.  The vaccine, available in a 750mL vial containing 25 doses, is administered orally and multiple doses can be prescribed for serious cases. 

America’s White Boys Urged To Calm Down And Make More Music Like Justin Timberlake’s 2002 Debut Solo Album ‘Justified’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Today marked the beginning of the Democratic convention, which will ultimately end with the commencement of the Biden/Harris Presidential campaign. The socially-distant gathering of the political powerbrokers tasked with ousting President Trump from the White House will be held over the next three days, followed by the Republican National...

Elon Musk Does Weird Thing

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact The Tech World is abuzz this week after Elon Musk did some sort of weird thing.  The thing, which proved the old saying that the only difference between eccentric and crazy is money was announced by Elon on Twitter, to the congratulations on fans, whilst others shook their...

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