World News

Nation That Has 9 Cities With More Residents Than NSW Surprisingly Not Reliant On Our Business

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT GREAT NEWS FOR EXPORTERS! In some pretty ordinary news for anyone whose livelihood relies on China for imports or exports - the economic superpower next door has "indefinitely" suspended all activity under the China-Australia Strategic Economic Dialogue. Relations between the two countries have deteriorated since Canberra called for an inquiry into the origins of the COVID-19 pandemic, which came...

Gun Enthusiasts Outraged as Joe Biden Places Restrictions On Surface-To-Air Missiles

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT US President Joe Biden has enraged American gun enthusiasts with new restrictions on several popular types of surface-to-air missiles. Under the revolutionary new rules, those with a history of psychiatric episodes, who are currently incarcerated, who have previously been incarcerated for a violent firearms offence or who are under the age of 10 will be restricted to owning...

“Well Thank Goodness That’s All Over!” Says White America

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT White Americans, from the College lawns to the Oval Office are today cheering at the news that they will never have to confront the term 'Black Lives Matter' ever again. This comes as a US jury finds former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin unequivocally guilty of the murder of George Floyd, whose death sparked worldwide protests, violence and a furious re-examination of...

French Foreign Legion Unveil Elite New Training Facility To Rival Australian Navy

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news that will appease Australia's Little Man Syndrome on the global stage, our navy has reportedly sent shock waves around the world. Following the viral success of the Australian Navy's Elite Twerk Division at the commissioning of HMAS Supply in Sydney, the French Foreign Legion is set to follow our lead. The huge news was announced...

Chinese Military Drop Claims To South China Sea After Learning About Australian Twerk Division

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The world is breathing a huge sigh of relief today, after reports the Chinese military is relinquishing its claim to the South China Sea. That massive pressure valve release comes after the Chinese President Xi Jinping was shown videos of Australia's elite Twerk Division doing their thing. It's believed that after being shown footage of the dance routine at...

JK Rowling Suggests New Trans Tasman Bubble Isn’t A Real, Biological Bubble

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Fabled author JK Rowling has criticised the new Trans Tasman bubble this afternoon just hours after it was announced, telling her Twitter followers that it's not a real, biological bubble. "There are bubbles that occur naturally in nature and then there are bubbles that are manufactured and I think these new bubbles created by man...

Christians Observe First Victim Of Cancel Culture, Jesus Christ

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT To some, it seems as if you can’t say anything these days whether it’s about politics, sport, or women without fear of being ‘cancelled.’  In case your eyes and ears stopped working in 2017, ‘getting cancelled’ is a symptom of ‘cancel culture’ where ordinary people are punished with a public shunning in the form of a coordinated withdrawal of...

Australian Who Spent Last Week Defending His Beloved Queen Now Embracing Proud Irish Heritage

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Almost all restrictions on licensed venues around Australia have been pulled back today, just in time for one of the booziest days of the year. In New South Wales, residents can finally stand at the bar and enjoy a cold one - as the state government comes good on their promise to let the Irish go mad just in time...

“It’s Got Nothing To Do With Her Ghosting Me!” Screams Piers Morgan As Tears Stream Down Face

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Piers Morgan, the former host of Good Morning Britain has today fronted the press to assure everyone that he is not being fueled by hate and anger. Speaking this morning, after being hounded like a member of the Royal Family for a brief moment in time, the big sook said that calling Meghan a liar is a 'hill...

Queen Suggests A Family Catch Up In Paris So Harry And Meg Can Discuss Their Issues In Person

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The figurehead of the British Royal Family has today officially commented on Harry and Meghan's bombshell interview with Oprah. In a statement released this morning Australian time, Queen Elizabeth repeated back what her scriptwriter told her to say, and explained that she was concerned and saddened to hear what the couple were alleging. Claiming that recollections may differ,...

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