World News

Wow! We Put This Pacific Nation Into FaceApp’s Ageing Filter And It Completely Disappeared

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In a sad story breaking out of The Betoota Advocate's newsroom this afternoon, the new FaceApp has handed out a crippling reality check today. The app, which has taken social media platforms by storm in the last 24-48 hours, allows users to transform their faces in hyper-realistic form....

Little Mermaid Was Originally Filipino, Confirms Disney

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The artists behind the original animation of the 1989 incarnation of the Little Mermaid have today entered the debate surrounding the casting of a black actor to play Ariel in the live action remake. The animators behind the original cartoon version's airbrushing, backlighting and superimposition, say that they are...

Malcolm Roberts Takes Parliamentary Leave In Bid To Storm Area 51

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT One Nation Senator and self-appointed Minister for National and International Conspiracy Theories Malcolm Roberts, has today announced that he'll be taking leave for the next couple of weeks. Heading off on 'the trip of a lifetime,' the Queensland Senator says he plans to storm Area 51.

Untrustworthy Nature Documentary Not Even Narrated By David Attenborough

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Recent nature documentaries are undergoing a new trend, moving away from the natural effervescent symphony of nature to shoving in our noses how much we have ruined the life of every single species simply by being alive. Drawing attention to this is the new nature documentary Earth Zero which...

Australian Asserts Authority Overseas By Reminding Them Their Coffee Sucks

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Australian traveller Bonnie Henderson (28) has asserted authority over our colonial overlords today by reminding the English their coffee really does suck. Ordering a cafe latte in one of London’s 99,000 Costa Coffee franchises Henderson was surprised to see the coffee arrived in a glass a meter tall, with...

Gus Visits Rome To Discuss Moving Origin To Only Place Fitting For This Gladiatorial Spectacle

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The iconic Phil 'Gus' Gould has touched down in Sydney just in time for the final State of Origin game tonight. Set to appear on TV screens in a few moments as part of Channel 9's coverage, the Emperor of The Riff exclusively revealed to The Advocate today...

Man Dragged Around Italy By Girlfriend Gutted That Real Carbonara Isn’t Made With 1L Of Cream

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact It was supposed to be the trip that brought all of his Christmases at once, but as Tony Sims is learning, Italy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Tony and his girlfriend Amy are holidaying in Italy for three weeks, a holiday that Amy said would mean...

Opinion: Here’s Why King Henry VIII Might Be Problematic

JAMIE HOTTAKE | Outrage  CONTACT Having never studied history due to lack of time between extension English and Drama, I have not really known just how out of touch the leaders of the past have been.  After a bit of digging it turns out it’s way worse than I thought, with...

Hong Kong Protestors Storm Parliament To Call For An End To Cattle Industry In Rural Australia

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In a dramatic development out of the global financial hub of Hong Kong this morning, protestors have stormed the territory's parliament; with a dramatic new agenda. Initially furious at the proposed new extradition laws with China, the protesters have now begun to call for an end to the...

America Reckons They’ve Finally Found A Country They’d Be Able To Beat In A War

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some developing news out of the land of the free and the home of the brave, it's believed that the United States are getting closer to deciding upon who they think they might be able to beat in a war. It's being alleged that the slowly fading...

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