World News

China Threatens To Boycott Kangaroo Scrotum Coin Purses

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact As tensions between Australia and China escalate, Beijing has released a statement threatening to ban Australia’s 4th most valuable export. The iconic kangaroo scrotum coin purse, which ranks just behind coal, iron ore, and other tourist trinkets which are technically made in China as a critical cornerstone of the export economy and...

Obama’s Soothing, Sound And Measured Address Added To Spotify’s ‘Sleep Sounds’ Playlist

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact After watching his beloved country erupt in protest over yet another completely avoidable murder of an African American man, former US President Barack Obama stepped in and delivered an address to the people that really should have come from the sitting President. In the 15-minute speech, Obama offered...

Trump Claims Victory Over His Own Citizens In Latest Round Of ‘Stop Hitting Yourself’

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT WINNING: America's current need for a win is outmatched only by their need for new leadership. Luckily, President Donald Trump has taken to the Rose Garden to announce his latest win and how that will help the people who voted for him who still don’t have jobs.

Americans So Mad They Might Even Consider Thinking About Possibly Voting

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact As the US completes the transition from a dangerous place full of guns into a dangerous place full of guns and riots, some protestors have signaled that they are so dissatisfied with how their country is being run that they might even vote if they get around to it.

New Revelations Allege That Prince Andrew’s Was Directly Involv.. Meghan Markle Is A Brat!

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT New allegations reveal that The Duke of York has "sought to falsely portray himself" as willing to talk to investigators over his ties to alleged child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, the US prosecutor in charge of the investigation has said. US attorney Geoffrey Berman said Prince Andrew "has repeatedly...

Planet Earth Starting To Notice A Pattern Of Rich White Boys Going Missing During A Crisis

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro has rapidly changed his tune on the Coronavirus outbreak over the last few weeks, after initially dismissing the pandemic as 'just a little flu'. Since his initial attempts at denying the seriousness of the situation, Brazil has recorded over 650,000 cases of COVID-19 and 34,000...

Trump Tells Supporters He’s Gonna Need Another 4 Years To Really Make America Great Again

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT USA President and former host of the Celebrity Apprentice, Donald Trump (73), famously won the 2016 presidential election running on the promise to ‘Make America Great Again.’ Due to the USA having a history of massacres, slavery and something called the McBiscuit, Trump failed to win over minority voters...

Link Established Between Peaked Beanies And Thinking Black Lives Matters Is An Attack On You

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the prominent Australian research think tank P.C.R.C.O.F has today found undeniable correlations between wearing surf brand beanies with brims and getting offended by the mobilisation of black people around the world. Founded in early 2013, P.C.R.C.O.F (Poor Cunts Reading Comments On Facebook) is now...

Woman’s Latest Wave Of Anxiety Either From 2nd Coffee Or Collapse Of Western Civilisation

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Betoota Heights resident Naomi Wells (24) is feeling a bit on edge today as she deals with an overwhelming sense that the meaningless suffering in the world she lives in is matched only by her own futility to influence positive change before she is inevitably dead and forgotten.

“Stealing From Your Own Communities Is Not The Solution,” Says Politician

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact In USA cities such as Minneapolis and New York, some peaceful protests as part of the Black Lives Matter movement have turned to riots and looting in response to the rubber bullet fuelled American-style of crowd control. These images have not only prompted many to...

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