World News

Report: Hillsong Founder Brian Houston Just A Homophobic Version Of Vince McMahon

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Embattled Hillsong founder Brian Houston has made international headlines this week, as the US media discovers how weird Australia's coolest religion really is. Houston, who is listed as Prime Minister Morrison's closest confidantes and mentors, was first at the centre of public scrutiny when it became public that he had taunted his father's child sex abuse victims with...

Australia Starting To Think Boris Is Telling Porkies About This ‘More Contagious’ UK Strain

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT After two of our capital cities were locked down due to quarantine outbreaks of the MUTANT UK STRAIN - without any new cases recorded in the community - Australians are starting to ask whether or not the British Prime Minister has been telling porkies. Both Perth and Brisbane have endured snap 5-day lockdowns after learning of one positive...

NFL Roll Out Yet Another Halftime Show That Fails To Live Up To Michael Jackson In 1993

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT As the Americans celebrate yet another grand final between two teams in that weird type of football they play, once again there has been lots of chatter about the halftime entertainment. Unfortunately, the multi-millionaire musician that was chosen this year does not hold a torch to Michael Jackson's 1993 Super Bowl performance. This is not a surprise, as it...

PM Fast-Tracks Travel Bubble With The Phillipines In Effort To Get Christensen To Fuck Off

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Scott Morrison is once again facing the difficulties that come with running a government that is made up of a coalition between two parties that are ideologically opposed, as the loudest Nationals MPs continue to undermine public health orders and create community distrust in a possible vaccine. Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack has defended Nationals MPs George Christensen...

Democrats Announce Trillion Dollar Bailout For Hedge Funds Burnt By GameStop Financial Crisis

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Joe Biden has today announced a giant package to help those who have fallen upon tougher times. The new President has revealed a trillion-dollar bailout for the Hedge Funds negatively affected by the GameStop Financial Crisis (GFC) and wasted little time in assuring Wall Street that the new administration has his full support. A number of hedge funds,...

Trumps Driver Already Worn Down To A Stub

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT It has been less than a couple of weeks since Donald Trump left the White House with all the grace of a personally offended manchild breaking a 150-year tradition because he is sad. Just like the ancestors of his closest supporters, Trump has retreated to the south after four years of being racist and failing to overthrow the government,...

Robinhood To Rebrand As Sheriff Of Nottingham In Wake Of GameStop Saga

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After reading the room, US investment app Robinhood has announced they will be immediately rebranding. Following a wave of controversy after their efforts to protect Wall Street hedge fund managers and the big end of town from everyday investors, the app named after the noble thief Robin Hood is set to change its name to Sheriff Of Nottingham....

“Okay The Joke Is Over You Fucking Peasants,” Says Wall St

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Wall Street has quoted popular Logan driller's No Money Enterprise today and issued a strong message to the GameStop nerds; Playtime's over, here to take over, we ain't playing no games. The warning comes after the top end of town have tried to shut down this GameStop craze. "Joke's over you fucking peasants," explained one Hedge Fund Manager named...

Britain Realises The Bumbling Fool Thing Wasn’t A Gimmick

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the UK becomes the first country in Europe to pass 100,000 coronavirus-related deaths, the people of 'Great Britain' are beginning to come to terms with the fact that the bumbling fool they elected, might actually be a bumbling fool. The realisation comes after the leader who prides himself on looking like a dad who has just woken...

Internet Reacts Hysterically To Public Servant Who Chooses To Not Dress Like An Oscar Winner

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Former democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has taken the internet by storm this week, for acting like an elected official who is paid by tax-payers to turn up to work and vote on bills. His lack of designer clothes, or red carpet handshaking, has been positioned as a quirky branding exercise - as social media struggles to understand...

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