World News

France’s Yellow Vest Protests Mistaken For Knock Off At Coogee Bay Hotel

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In a huge relief for the President of France Emmanuel Macron, the Yellow Vest protests that have captured international attention have not spread too far abroad. With the country caught up in ongoing demonstrations that have now begun to spread to other parts of Europe, Macron was left worried moments ago when he was alerted to a possible Yellow...

Tony Abbott Reportedly Behind Failed British Leadership Spill

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news out of London, it can be revealed that the Former Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott was the chief agitator in the UK's leadership challenge from overnight. This news comes after Theresa May successfully survived a no-confidence vote to remain Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. With the British government now looking to try and work it's...

Eco-Tourist Brings KeepCup On Contiki Tour

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Raising the standard for travelers everywhere, eco-tourist Megan Sturges (25) has reduced the carbon footprint on her European Contiki tour by bringing her Keepcup with her. The law student is enjoying her summer break in the most ethical way possible, by getting drunk in Europe’s best cities every night, before refueling with a carbon-neutral coffee while a bus...

Sentinelese Islanders Reveal The Bloke Was Trying To Hand Out CrossFit Pamphlets

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news coming out of the Bay of Bengal, the inhabitants of North Sentinel Island have confirmed today why they recently killed a man who attempted to make contact with them.  The Sentinelese people exclusively explained to The Advocate that they put a few arrows in the young man because he came to the island preaching religious ideology. Our correspondent...

International Men’s Day Highlights Inequality With “The Judge Always Favours The Missus” Theme

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Today is International Men's Day, and this year it is celebrating a very special theme. The theme for the 2019 edition is "The Judge Always Favours The Missus," and looks to raise awareness regarding the prolonged and sustained campaign by the nation's magistrates to run down the country's recently divorced fathers. Celebrated on November 19 every year International Men's Day celebrates...

Fiji Being All Smug About Their Decade Of Stable Government

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Fijian citizens are on their high-horse today as polls open for the nation's first second democratic election since a military coup ousted the Government 12 years ago. Once the laughing stock of the pacific, Fiji has managed to maintain two stable governments since 2006 - while Australia has rotated between seven different Prime Ministers. Fiji is now no longer the...

Mate Who Went To Japan Once Qualified To Tell You What Real Wasabi Is

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Lovers of Japan are in high spirits today as it has been confirmed any questions about the 3000-year-old culture can be answered by your co-worker Keaton who went to Japan two years ago. Keaton was recently sworn in as a Japanese culture expert during the painstaking period of office pre-lunch where everyone is asking each other what sad excuses...

Brunswick Resident Reminds Her 461 Instagram Followers From Brunswick To Vote In US Mid Terms

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An outspoken activist who has risen to prominence in her role as a barista at a popular inner-North Melbourne book shop cafe has today done her part to ensure a win for the democrats in the critical US Mid Terms. As an avid follower of American politics, Carla Leonie (25) has today urged her 461 instagram followers, most...

Discontinuation Of Apu’s Character Marks A Huge Win In The Fight Against Yellow Supremacy

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT After 15 seasons of making the world laugh the beloved animated family sitcom The Simpsons will be discontinuing the subcontinental character of Apu, which marks a huge win in the fight against yellow supremacy. Thirty years ago, the world fell in love with the four-fingered family and their wacky world which included Kwik-E-Mart owner Apu Nahasapeemapetilon who was a...

Google Forced To Pull Their Nerds Into Line After Protests

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The bosses at tech giant Google have been forced to sit all their nerds down today for a stern chat. This comes after thousands of Google staff across the world staged a series of walkouts in protest at claims of sexual harassment, gender inequality and systemic racism. The protests and walkouts follow allegations of sexual misconduct made against senior execs,...

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