World News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Former personal attorney for President Donald Trump, Michael Cohen is at the centre of a number of scandals involving payments to silence two women who allege they had sexual encounters with Trump before he was president. While it is absolutely disgraceful for a President to have ever had a sexual relationship outside of wedlock, it is also disgusting to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A prominent overseas comedian with a head like an adolescent Benjamin Button is apparently a pretty good authority on modern beauty, it has been confirmed. While looks aren't everything, a recent poll on Australians of all racial backgrounds has found that Trevor Noah has a head like a kicked in biccie tin. Trevor Noah, host of the poorly revamped The...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Just days after meeting with US President Donald Trump in Helskini, Vladimir Putin has taken some time off to relax with friends this afternoon on the banks of the mighty Myoka River in St Petersberg. Witnesses say the Russian President picked up half a box of local lager from a nearby chemist, changed into his favourite velour tracksuit and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Following the vaguely confirmed rumours that Russia might have interfered with the 2016 Presidential election, journalists around the country are relishing in the chance to use their new favourite word EDIT** Following the vaguely confirmed rumours that Russia might have MEDDLED with the 2016 Presidential election, journalists around the country are relishing in the chance to use their new favourite...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The President of The United States is apparently now questioning his position as the most powerful man in the world, after seeing crowds of anti-Brexiters protesting his existence in London. Hundreds of thousands of protestors have gathered in central London on Friday, intent on mocking U.S. President Donald Trump on his only full day of business with British leaders on what...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In the good news story of the year, the stranded junior Thai Football team known as the ‘Wild Boars’ have finally been rescued today. Thai Authorities have thanked all those involved in the rescue operations and extended a special thank you to Brazilian footballer and expert diver Neymar. Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior (commonly known as Neymar) who featured for...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The world game has today spoken out about an reluctance to go back to the grey skies and non-stop sleet and rain that it once called home. As reported earlier today, England is looking to win its first World Cup since it defeated West Germany in 1966 for its only ever championship in the history of the tournament. Association...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A trending international news story has left the people of Planet Earth feeling unfamiliar emotions such as joy and relief today, after 12 Thai kids and their assistant soccer coach were found alive in a cave complex nine days after they went missing. "It's just such lovely news" said a Betoota local named Glenn, currently sitting at the front bar...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Betoota based anti-plastic campaigner and eco-warrior Mia Bowler (25) has today conceded that she probably won’t be drinking out of the tap on her next trip to South East Asia. The PR graduate and social media activist has confirmed that while she has done away with coffee cups and single-use straws, water straight from the...

The Russian national football team are celebrating a historic and monumental occasion today, after officially being told by the Russian government that they are allowed to keep their kneecaps for another 3 days. The good news comes on the back of Russia's record-breaking World Cup win over favourites Spain, which is being described by many as one of the best...