World News

Important Western Countries Confirm Their Cultural Beliefs Are More Important Than Qatar’s

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact It has come to light that Qatar, the conservative Middle Eastern host country of the 2022 FIFA World Cup, is a complete piece of shit, culturally speaking. At least that is what many of the most important homo-sapiens from the most important western countries have explained via social media and mainstream news over recent weeks. Germany, UK, Australia, USA and...

Meghan Markle Spends 3 Hours Explaining How Surprised She Was That Marrying A British Royal Would Result In A Lack Of Privacy

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In case you aren't aware, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry haven't yet disappeared into the anonymity of Los Angeles, like they promised to do last time they did a three hour interview. It seems distancing themselves from the British Royal machine may be a bit difficult after signing an exclusive contract with major global streaming platform Netflix - which...

Virgin Now The Only Airline Allowed To Fly In And Out Of Bali

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Indonesian government has today introduced another controversial new policy, banning a swathe of airlines from the popular tourist island of Bali. The conservative government in charge of the world's third largest democracy has revealed that only Virgin Airways will be allowed to fly in and out of Denpasar airport. This decision comes shortly after Indonesia's parliament passed...

Thousands Of Perth To Bali Flights Cancelled After Indonesia Implements Ban On Pre-Marital Sex

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Australian's aviation industry has been hit by a fresh new crisis today, with revelations that a popular flight destination is now essentially off the cards. With years of staff culls resulting in serious logistical and operational issues, the price-gouging likes of Jetsar, Qantas and Virgin have now been rocked by revelations that Bali is under threat as a...

Streaming Services Unable To Keep Up With Audiences Ferocious Demands For Even More Jon Bernthal

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The busiest man in Hollywood is currently running at full capacity, it can be confirmed today. Jon Bernthal, who made his name internationally as 'Shane' from Walking Dead - before appearing in about 6 or 7 new TV shows and movies for the ten years that followed, is still in hot demand. Streaming services say that they simply cannot keep...

America Somehow Defeats A Middle Eastern Country Without Destabilising Their Democratic Process Through Illegal Military Operations

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The United States of America is celebrating a historic day today, after finally being able to successfully beat a Middle Eastern nation. After decades and decades and trillions and trillions of dollars of trying, the home of the brave and the land of the free* has finally managed to achieve what can be described as a 'victory.' The historic...

Egotistical Billionaire To Fix America Like That Other One Fixed Twitter

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In some exciting news for residents of the United States of America, and the world at large, Donald Trump is back baby. The egotistical billionaire who managed to divide the nation in a manner not seen for over a century, has revealed that he's gonna have another crack at being a president. After losing the last election in...

Report: Ya Can’t Stop An Honest Crook

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite a plethora of lawsuits and federal charges piling up on his desk, former President Donald Trump has today made it official that he will be back for a second run at the US Presidency in 2024. The 76-year-old announced his candidacy moments ago during a live press conference live at Mar-a-Lago, the same resort that was raided by...

“Bro That One With The Bright Orange Sauce… That’s My Favourite” Albanese Tells Xi Jinping

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has met with Chinese President Xi Jinping at the G20 Summit, the first Australian leader to do so in six years. Xi Jinping says he hopes Australia and China can work closer together after 'a difficult few years' between the nations - which is a polite way of saying 'We didn't appreciate Scott Morrison comments...

UK Prime Minister Liz Truss Pulls A Mal Meninga

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Liz Truss will become the shortest-serving prime minister in Britain's history after simply pulling a runner from her new duties before they even really began.While Liz Truss is not directly responsible for the death of Queen Elizabeth, there are many Brits who will never forgive the Tory party for allowing their beloved Monarch’s funeral to be hijacked by...

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