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Report: Not The First Time Trump’s Been Given A Few Extra Shots On The Golf Course

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Someone has taken a shot at former US President Donald Trump this morning as he enjoyed a round of golf in Florida. Police and sheriffs in Palm Beach have apprehended a suspect after the forward party of Trump’s Secret Service detail spotted a gun barrel poking through the fence line. Secret Service agents engaged the suspect,...

Oasis Finally Reunites For A New Tour That Will Probably End Up Just Being One Gig And A Fist Fight

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT British rock band Oasis are believed to be reuniting in 2024, after the rowdy brothers from Manchester reportedly ended their prickly 15-year feud. Noel and Liam Gallagher, whose debut album Definitely Maybe is 30 years old this week, have teased a string of comeback gigs next year. The British tabloids can reveal they decided to launch a £400 million ($778M...

Dutch Volleyballer Sits Down To Tell His Side Of The Story In Exclusive With Channel 7’s Spotlight

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Channel 7 have done it again! The most well regarded news organisation in the country have once again managed to blow their opposition out of the water, in the race to the big story. Not content to rest on their laurels after a big 12 months of scoops and hires, Channel 7 have just dropped a bombshell announcement...

Fears Of An Imminent World War And Global Recession Soothed By The Resurgence Of Josh Hartnett

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As three continents bubble on the brink of full-scale military conflicts, and Wall Street desperately holds off on another financial crisis with white knuckles, the global news cycle is now as shocking as it is miserable. Not since the early days of the pandemic has the world been in such a state of uncertainty, with the potential of a...

Swifties Launch First Strike Against ISIL Targets In Northern Iraq Amid Concert Terror Threats

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Swifties have reportedly conducted a coordinated strike on Islamic State targets in Northern Iraq on Friday, following the disruption of the pop star's Vienna concerts due to a foiled terror plot. This marks an unprecedented escalation in fan activism, raising questions about the potential for non-state actors to engage in military action. The attack...

Kamala Harris Strengthens Rural Vote By Choosing VP Who Looks Like A Disgraced Western NSW Mayor

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The presumptive 2024 Democrat candidate and current Vice President of the USA, Kamala Harris has finally chosen her running mate for the November election. And while everyone had imagined her eventual pick would look like a run-of-the-mill rural politician, nobody could have imagined just how rural the bloke she has chosen looks. The rural vote is expected to soar off...

British PM Urges Premier League To The Bring 2024 Season Forward A Week To Distract These Morons

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The UK Prime Minister has promised “swift criminal sanctions” for anyone who has taken part in the violent riots that have broken out in the country over the past week. As a former Crown Prosecutor who locked up thousands of drunk and excitable men during the 2011 riots, Keir Starmer has form with an absolutely no tolerance approach to...

Kamala Harris Hopes To Win Over Black Voters By Selecting Baltimore Democrat Tommy Carcetti As VP

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As of Monday morning, Kamala Harris is now the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee for the 2024 US Election. This comes after the incumbent President Joe Biden declared that he will be leaving politics at the conclusion of his current term. It's an announcement that has had the Republicans running around in circles, after the Democrats waited until after last week's...

Like This Post If You Think Sydney Sweeney Should Be The Next President Of The United States

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the race to the Whitehouse becomes to heat up, The Betoota Advocate has decided to break it's strict apolitical position and put forward a left field candidate. With Joe Biden officially pulling out of contention for the Democratic nomination in this November's US election, our humble regional newspaper is calling for Sydney Sweeney to be the 47th...

Senior Democrats Reportedly ‘Sweating’ On Results Of A Facebook Poll From Sydney’s Daily Telegraph

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A growing number of senior Democrats - including Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and Steny Hoyer - are reportedly 'sweating' today, as they wait on the result of a critical opinion poll regarding the party's replacement presidential candidate for the November election. Following President Joe Biden's abrupt departure from the the 2024 race, droves of senior Democrats have quickly backed...

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