Politics

Peter Dutton Confuses Government Inquiry Into Right-Wing Extremism For A Performance Review

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Peter Dutton has this week welcomed the advice of experts calling for right-wing terrorism to be included in a new inquiry that has been mostly aimed at examining the type of terrorist perpetrated by people who don't like like they would be cast on Home and Away. The...

Federal MPs Furious As Leftie NSW Liberals Unveil Energy Plan Not Written By Mining Lobbyists

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT The leftie piece of shit inner-city small-L New South Wales Liberal party have today once again proven that they aren't beholden to anti-science agenda of their Federal contemporaries. Matt Kean, the NSW MP that admitted he thinks Climate Change might be real when millions of acres were...

Disheartened Donald Trump Doesn’t Even Feel Like Pegging Darts At Servants Anymore

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With time running out for departing US President Donald Trump to demand the recounts and proceedings he needs to win the election he lost, White House staffers are reporting their usually frolicsome leader has lost some of his natural pep.  “He hasn’t thrown a dart at me in weeks,”...

“You Wanna Talk About War Crimes? How About That Corey Allan Tackle Hahaha” Says Scotty

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation has been rocked today by the revelations in the Afghanistan War Crimes Report. As a result, the nation is asking for answers on how the appalling culture that facilitated the murder of Afghans and promoted war crimes as a badge of honour was allowed to develop...

Friends Of Recent Paleo Begin Wondering How Far Off He Is From Posting Nazi Shit

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As if 2020 could not get any weirder, local landscaper Timothy Foster (30) has just now begun a paleo diet.  Also known as the caveman diet, the paleo diet focuses on eating foods consumed by our Neolithic forebears such as meat and $14 protein bars. Alleged...

Prime Minister Already Putting Pressure On Northern Adelaide To Open Up Already

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Once again late to follow a trend Melbourne has already moved on from, Adelaide is home to Australia’s latest outbreak of COVID-19.  Initially mistaken for a weird new recess food, The North Adelaide Pizza Bar Cluster includes 20 new and 14 suspected cases of COVID-19 with up to 4000...

“Fine! You Win” Stuart Robert Yells At Homeless Single Mum Driven Into Poverty By RoboDebt

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Federal Government has signed a $1.2 billion compensation deal in relation to the botched automated debt recovery scheme that resulted in $398 million in wrongly raised debts The bogus debts have since been dismissed, and the government has agreed to pay $112 million in compensation to the families...

Joel Fitzgibbon Worried Labor Party Is Losing Touch With Blokes Earning $180k Driving Trucks

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hunter Valley Labor MP Joel Fitzgibbon has this week called for his party to be more proactive in engaging with some of the highest-earning individuals in the country, like the coal miners in his electorate. Fitzgibbon, who quit the front bench this week after an internal battle about climate...

Bill Shorten Floats The Idea Of Asking For A Recount Of 2016 and 2019 Federal Elections

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Former Labor Leader Bill Shorten is back in the spotlight today, after making a rather curious request. The loser of two federal elections has reportedly asked his colleagues and some prominent figures in the media if it might be worth asking for a recount of both ballots.

Scotty From Marketing Appoints Special Prosecutor To Investigate Alleged War Crimes

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news from the capital of the country, Australia's Head of Marketing has announced a big bad prosecutor to investigate allegations of war crimes in the nation's armed forces. The special investigator will be asked to examine what went on in Afghanistan as the Government prepares...

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