Politics

Liberal Party Hires Self-Help Guru Who Specialises In Fixing Spectacularly Useless Men

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Opposition have this week raised eyebrows after revealing a new ploy to turn their party around. While Anthony Albanese and Peter Dutton attended a barbecue to raise awareness for prostate cancer yesterday, the rest of the Liberal Party brains trust enjoyed a special lecture from one of their idols - Jordan Peterson. Travelling to Australia to...

Katter Says The Key To Tackling Inflation Is A Full-Tilt Return To A Cash-Only Economy Because It Seems That Every Purchase And Sale That We Document Be That By...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australians have been told to brace ourselves for even more inflation, as the international unrest of war, diplomatic break downs and natural disasters continue to affect the price of bread. RBA governor Philip Lowe says trade restrictions and global conflict are causing interruptions risk to supply, which in turn is causing higher prices. Mr Lowe says the effects of...

Matthew Guy Snaps His Sim Card In Half After Peter Dutton Calls To Offer Help On The Campaign

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Victorian Liberals are this week putting their shoulder to the wheel in a battle to retain key heartland seats currently at risk of being snatched up by Teal Independents in Melbourne's affluent metropolitan suburbs. On top of all the drama the Opposition has been dealing with in regards to the recent exposès into a very real undertow of...

Albanese Tells Italian PM She Hasn’t Had Gelato Until She’s Been To Bar Italia In Leichhardt

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT It's been a huge few days of international diplomacy for Anthony Albanese. And, somehow, he's managed to head overseas and meet a bunch of foreign leaders without embarrassing himself or the nation, a feat that probably does deserve some credit. However, while it's been friendships galore and an abundance of PR shots talking about how much has been...

Australia Wows COP27 Summit With Bespoke Byron Bay Clean Coal And King Island Renewable Gas

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With another international climate conference rolling around, the nation of Australia has once again taken the opportunity to embarrass itself.  Following up the embarrassing performance of years past where we refused to even acknowledge whether climate change was a thing, the nation has this year decided to spruik some cool new products the entire world can get around.  With the...

Mandatory Military Service Once Again Gets Brought Up By Old Cunts Who Are In The Clear 

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTProving that some people will talk about any old shit to pass the time, the idea of mandatory military service has once again been brought up by some old cunts who are already in the clear. Famous for only being considered a good PM by xenophobes, former PM Tony Abbott, aka Uncle Tony, aka Half Term Tony, aka The...

Advice Column | How The Budget Fixes Everything For Homeless People Living On The Street

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT I’m not really into politics. But it’s no secret that the government inherited a significant fiscal challenge, with a budget burdened by one trillion dollars in gross debt and deficits projected for at least the next decade, with little hope of fixing everything for homeless people living on the street. Thankfully, the Treasurer delivered a breathtaking...

“What Can We Sell” Asks Jim Chalmers, Channeling His Inner Paul Keating

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The nation's Treasurer is deep in thought this morning, after a hectic 24 hours of trying to sell his government's first budget. Following a run of TV appearances, Treasurer Jim Chalmers says he's really quite unsure of how to fix this financial mess decades of government's have got us into. "I mean, cutting the 180 billion dollar stage...

Liberals Criticise Government For Not Including Even A Few Billion For Pointless Carparks In Budget

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The nation's Shadow Treasurer has today let the country know that he is NOT a fan of what the Labor Government are serving up. With the new government set to hand down its first budget, Angus Taylor has warned Australia that we are set for some tough times ahead. "This lot are already showing that they don't know...

Treasurer To Spend Entire Budget Speech Explaining How His Party Weren’t In Power For Last Decade

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The nation's treasurer has today offered The Betoota Advocate some exclusive insight into what he is forecasting for the nation's future. Treasurer Jim Chalmers has revealed that the country should brace for a 60 minute speech that outlines how he and his party weren't in power for the last decade. This comes as the government prepares to hand...

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