Politics

Barnaby’s Mid-Life Crisis Peaks After Being Spotted Wearing Lycra In Main Street Of Tamworth

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Just days after releasing his autobiographical political manifesto 'Weatherboard and Iron' - Former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce is back in the headlines with gusto. Yesterday, he was dismissing the Paris agreement as something that people in Kmart don't care about, last night he was telling the Courier Mail that the Coalition will not win the next election without...

Katter Family Arrive Heavily-Armed At Queensland Parliament House To Discuss Daylight Savings

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The Honourable Bob Katter III has today arrived in Brisbane with his son, Mt Isa state Member Robbie Katter, to hold 'passionate talks' with the Southern Cowards that want to fiddle with the clocks. This comes after an exclusive poll by The Courier-Mail revealed that 55 per cent of Queenslanders back a transition to daylight savings, while 41 per...

Labor Deny Accusations Made By Labor About Labor Politician

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The federal member for the seat of Lindsay, is being investigated over allegations of harassment and bullying in her staff office, according to the Labor Party. However, the Labor Party has denied these claims. The random MP who is apparently a frontbencher for Bill Shorten has been accused of doing heaps of shitty stuff including alleged misuse of funds...

Michaelia Cash Asks Pauline For Advice On How To Turn A Toothbrush Into A Prison Shank

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Senator Michaelia Cash has today consulted on-again, off-again frenemy Pauline Hanson for some tips on how to survive life in prison. In yet another example of the highest powered people in this country being no more tacticle or low brow as run of the mill degenerate criminals, Senator Cash has had to today ask for some advice from the only...

Shorten Feels Confident Enough To Take Stab-Proof Vest Off After Weekend By-Elections

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prior to his morning jog around Lake Burley-Griffin this morning, the leader of the Opposition felt safe enough to remove the stab-proof vest he's been wearing for the past fortnight. In the lead up to last Saturday's by-elections, clouds were beginning to form over Bill Shorten's capacity to lead the Labor Party to the next...

Shorten Tells Bullied ALP Staff To Harden The Fuck Up Because He Can’t Lose Another MP

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact With pressure on Bill Shorten to sack Labor backbencher Emma Husar if bullying and harassment allegations against her are proven, the leader of the ALP has today told her alleged victims to harden the fuck up, because losing another MP would almost definitely result in him never being Prime Minister. Former staff have accused Western Sydney MP Ms Husar...

Turnbull Gets Back At Abbott The Only Way He Can By Getting The Pope Involved

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Aside from putting on a united front in the lead up to the Super Saturday by-elections later this month, Malcolm Turnbull has hit back at Tony Abbott the only way he can - by getting Jesus involved. Earlier today, the Prime Minister called on the pope to sack disgraced Adelaide archbishop Philip Wilson after he was found guilty of protecting...

Australian Tax Office Has Funding Slashed After Having The Nerve To Audit An MP

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The nation's least favourite government agency is set to have their funding almost halved after an Australian Tax Office employee had the 'intestinal fortitude' to order an audit on a sitting Member of Parliament. No media outlet is able to name the Member currently under investigation by the Tax Office because of legal reasons - however - The Advocate...

Prime Minister Makes Double Sure Not To Mix Up His Australian And Panamanian Tax Returns

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has reportedly looked over his two tax returns this year, one for Panama and one for Australia, and made double sure he didn't lodge the wrong one here. After being named in the so-called Paradise Papers last year, Malcolm Turnbull explained to The Advocate via an encrypted end-to-end messenger service that he...

Coalition Frontbenchers Rock Off To See Who Has To Be Humiliated On Q&A Next Week

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has held his usual cabinet meeting this afternoon to decide which one of them will have to brave the ABC's Q&A programme next week. Malcolm Turnbull, aided by Michael McCormack (New Nationals Leader FYI), organised his team into a round-robin-style scissor-paper-rock tournament around 3pm this afternoon and declared that the loser of...

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