Politics

Remember When ASIO Specifically Warned Dutton About Threats Of Extremist Far-Right Propaganda?

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Melbourne descends into the chaos of confused and propaganda-fuelled protests, everyone but the Murdoch media machine is reminiscing about the time ASIO boss Mike Burgess warned the Minister of Home Affairs that right-wing extremists are becoming one of our biggest national security threats. Yesterday, violence erupted outside of the CFMEU offices as construction union heavyweights punched on...

“Actually, Maybe The Hunter Might Be A Better Fit For Our Kristina” Says Labor Party

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a week of pretending they aren't hearing the very real concerns from their supporters in Western Sydney, The Australian Labor Party have today decided to map out an alternative plan to parachute Kristina Keneally into the Federal Lower House. As a career politician who only got to enjoy her time as NSW Premier for half a term,...

“Who The Hell Doesn’t Own An iPhone? Haha” Laughs PM When Asked About Non-Digital Vax Passports

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Online bookies are currently offering very good odds that Scotty from Marketing has not once considered how to provide our elderly or homeless with vax passports, as the Prime Minister continues to surprise with how badly he has fucked up in his alleged managing of this pandemic. As was announced last month, the federal government will be starting to...

Masked Singer Audiences Blown Away As Profusely Sweating Barnaby Brings House Down With Jolene

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Deputy Prime Minister has wowed reality TV viewers this week, after an incredible performance on the Masked Singer last night. With plenty of speculation about who was inside the 'The Volcano,' it's fair to say that nobody expected to be Barnaby Joyce. So, it was a piece of reality tv production brilliance when the noted anti-masker emerged...

“Go The Doggies!” Yells Cabra Keneally While Wearing A Western Bulldogs AFL Scarf At Belmore

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The soon-to-be-crowned Labor candidate for the electorate of Fowler in South-West Sydney has today shown just how committed she is to her local consistuents: By lowering herself to a photoshoot at a local rugby league club. Kristina Keneally, or Cabra Keneally as she is now known by the locals, says if she's learnt anything from her time in...

Cabra Keneally Begins Western Sydney Campaign By Ordering A Mongolian Lamb At Vietnamese Joint

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT All the critics who said a career Labor politician from Sydney's Northern Beaches wouldn't be able to code-switch into the safe South-West electorate she has been parachuted into were proven wrong today. This comes as the lower-house hopeful Kristina Keneally officially begins her election campaign in her 'new home' of Cabramatta. Rocking heavily shellacked finger nails and driving an...

Scotty Puts To Bed Hair Plug Rumours By Rocking A Fedora

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Hoping the nation would be too distracted by everything else, the Prime Minister has set the record straight about his mysterious disappearance a month ago that saw him return with just a bit more going on up top. Some publishers & pundits speculated the PM had undergone elective hair transplant surgery which usually requires a few weeks of recovery...

“Greetings, Fellow Immigrants!” Says Kristina Keneally On Her First Ever Visit To Cabramatta

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The days of the Australian Labor Party being dictated by pale, stale and male career bureaucrats are over! This follows the news that the Las Vegas-born immigrant Kristina Keneally is set to run the ball up for lower house as an ALP candidate for Western Sydney. After twenty years of politickin' in and out of different NSW Labor factions,...

Scotty From Marketing Holds Focus Groups On How To Overcome Greatest Threat To His Re-Election

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scotty From Marketing has today brought together the greatest marketing minds that the Hillsong faction of the Young Liberals have to offer. This comes after countless polls show that Scotty's severe incompetencies are managing to leak through the near impenetrable Murdoch protection racket that has done nothing but protect the voters from how any of his fuck ups. With...

Gladys: “The ICAC Will Re-Open When We Reach 170% Double-Jabbed Because It’s Not Really Essential, Is It?”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Sydney-based Left-leaning witch hunt gang, the Independent Commission Against Corruption, will be among the last services to re-open in New South Wales as the government declares it to be largely un-essential to the running of the government. The corruption watchdog was shut down along with a number of other public services in June but will...

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