Politics

Friends Of Recent Paleo Begin Wondering How Far Off He Is From Posting Nazi Shit

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As if 2020 could not get any weirder, local landscaper Timothy Foster (30) has just now begun a paleo diet.  Also known as the caveman diet, the paleo diet focuses on eating foods consumed by our Neolithic forebears such as meat and $14 protein bars. Alleged...

Prime Minister Already Putting Pressure On Northern Adelaide To Open Up Already

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Once again late to follow a trend Melbourne has already moved on from, Adelaide is home to Australia’s latest outbreak of COVID-19.  Initially mistaken for a weird new recess food, The North Adelaide Pizza Bar Cluster includes 20 new and 14 suspected cases of COVID-19 with up to 4000...

“Fine! You Win” Stuart Robert Yells At Homeless Single Mum Driven Into Poverty By RoboDebt

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Federal Government has signed a $1.2 billion compensation deal in relation to the botched automated debt recovery scheme that resulted in $398 million in wrongly raised debts The bogus debts have since been dismissed, and the government has agreed to pay $112 million in compensation to the families...

Joel Fitzgibbon Worried Labor Party Is Losing Touch With Blokes Earning $180k Driving Trucks

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hunter Valley Labor MP Joel Fitzgibbon has this week called for his party to be more proactive in engaging with some of the highest-earning individuals in the country, like the coal miners in his electorate. Fitzgibbon, who quit the front bench this week after an internal battle about climate...

Bill Shorten Floats The Idea Of Asking For A Recount Of 2016 and 2019 Federal Elections

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Former Labor Leader Bill Shorten is back in the spotlight today, after making a rather curious request. The loser of two federal elections has reportedly asked his colleagues and some prominent figures in the media if it might be worth asking for a recount of both ballots.

Scotty From Marketing Appoints Special Prosecutor To Investigate Alleged War Crimes

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news from the capital of the country, Australia's Head of Marketing has announced a big bad prosecutor to investigate allegations of war crimes in the nation's armed forces. The special investigator will be asked to examine what went on in Afghanistan as the Government prepares...

Stressed Out Christian Porter Books A Table At Manuka Public Bar To Blow Off Some Steam

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of Parliament's most embattled Ministers has called it a day this afternoon. Christian Porter is sick of all the drama and invasive gossip centred around his personal life. A Western Australian by birth and electorate, Porter is the son and grandson of two highly regarded...

PM Skips Church Today After Turning Off His Christianity Until Liberal Sex Scandals Die Down

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Prime Minister has today made a bit of a personal compromise, and put aside his faith for a little while. Speaking from Canberra this morning in the ongoing wake of the Christian Porter/Alan Tudge scandal, Scotty from Marketing revealed that he's popping his Christian hat off until...

Golf Drivers Correctly Stereotyped As Danger To Society

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Just as your aunt always says on Christmas ‘stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.’ Although unaware, Volkswagen Golf driver Ryan Pulicino (35) was about to sit behind the wheel of his German manufactured car and live up to the stereotype that Golf drivers are a danger to society.

Hot Mess Gladys Carries Her Heels For 5 Kilometres After Uber App Crashes At Randwick

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The first Tuesday in November is coming to a close for most people around the country, with the Melbourne Cup run and done. That is certainly the case for the embattled Premier of NSW Gladys Berejiklian who was seen a short time ago trudging through Sydney's Redfern.

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