Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who has consistently rebuffed her boyfriend’s attempts to get her interested in blokey TV shows has oddly switched her tone this week, by being the one to suggest a war comedy series. Snuggled up on the couch as they embarked on their usual nighttime activity of mindlessly scrolling through Stan to find a TV show, Laurie Henderson...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Marketing and Branding manager paid a fuck load to make everyone else's jobs difficult has rewarded himself for some ‘hard work’ this week, having spent gruelling several hours deciding on what font to use for a brochure that no one will ever look at. Known as the constant thorn in the side to his marketing team, John Beechum...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA man who sits behind a computer making sure other computers are working in a computer company has today revealed that he's actually a cultured man of refined taste. Anthony Hull could be heard explaining to his coworkers that he was not a fan of ‘the bean juice’, and much preferred to kickstart his day with an energy...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has found herself trying, and failing, to explains the nuances of text messages to her boyfriend Ben, who’s evidently no where nearly as sensitive as she is at picking up potential shifts in tone. Marley Henderson, a self confessed anxiety girlie, has tried to train Ben to stop texting as though he’s compiling work minutes for...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Local French Quarter girl, Kelly Bourne (28), has today mistakenly used her apartment swipe to tap onto the bus in a moment she'd rather just forget.  The situation unfolded at a Betoota Grove bus stop moments after Kelly had left a friend's place she had crashed at after a pointless night celebrating something she won't remember in 10 years...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Somewhere on the furthest fringe of Betoota Heights lies a home that was completed just a few days ago, and it has more defects than your garden-variety French Bulldog or common Pug. Not only that, but in the hours after the final screw was driven into the last doorframe, the builder was "phoenixed," and the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Ponds bride-to- be has unknowingly entered into a binding contract with the devil, after naively agreeing to accept money from the in-laws to bankroll her upcoming wedding, it’s reported. Like many Australians, Tabitha Morgan and her boyfriend Ryan have both been struggling with the cost of living, which was also driving a wedge in their wedding plans...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTRandom local man sitting at the back of a pub beer garden on his own really wants to show someone his new tattoo but has to take his shirt off and hopes they don't mind. Local Betoota Heights man, Thomas Boyd (24), has found himself alone in a beer garden while waiting for his friends to arrive, like some...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTLocal Brisbane man who doesn't really care for rugby league or AFL that much will surely be getting around the Lions and Broncos this weekend.  Spike Webster(26) isn't really a footy guy and doesn't really get sport in general but has found himself in an awkward position as his city's two premier sporting clubs have both made the grand...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As Adelaide is the closest capital city to our cosmopolitan desert community, Betoota is well-stocked with a number of uniquely South Australian dishes and cultural activities. From heavy processed cylinders of pig meat that's an affront to God's design and plan for His creations to murdering people and cramming them into barrels full of acid,...