Local News

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA local council candidate who vowed to clean up the streets has yet to pick up their election placards that continue to litter the suburb. Residents of the once pristine neighborhood are now navigating dozens of cardboard signs, many of which have ended up on the footpath. Rain-soaked placards adorned with smiling faces and empty slogans like "A Cleaner City"...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT OOO ORGANIC ROASTED NUTS: A local woman’s carefully planned savings goals have been derailed after a casual trip to her local health food store where she accidentally descend into the depths of the nut section. Sophie Jenkins (31) had every intention of sticking to her budget this month—until she found herself wandering past rows of artisanal almonds and...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTTHE SMUSH ROOM: A well-meaning millennial has taken it upon herself to educate Gen Z on the true origins of ‘brain rot’, claiming that the viral TikToks they endlessly scroll are mere child’s play compared to the TV shows her generation grew up on. Jess O’Connor (34) recently found herself in a heated discussion with her younger colleagues...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local office worker successfully kept her natural bodily functions under wraps today by discreetly requesting a tampon via Slack, it’s reported. Despite having no reason to feel embarrassed about a normal part of life, 28-year-old Lilly Avalon still felt compelled to be covert about her period—leading to a tampon handoff that resembled a clandestine drug deal. Shooting through a...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Gold Coast man is alleged to have been booted out of a barbecue last weekend, after removing everyone’s drinks from the esky so he could partake in a DIY ice bath. Taking some time off from his PT job to visit family in Betoota Heights, Hamish Haversford, 27 was reportedly received well despite being a ‘big city traitor’,...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactSome cousins from Bundaberg have today taken a break from hooning around the streets to practise some cane toad stacking, showing that non screen related entertainment is alive and well in the outer edges of Queensland. Taking the time to film his adventures and broadcast them on his Instagram story, Corey Withcott, 18, unemployed, could be heard giggling as...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has yet again decided that every single item of clothing she owns is ugly and outdated, and that the only rational move is to spend thousands of dollars completely rehauling her wardrobe, it’s reported. Bec Parkes, 29, tells the Advocate that she feels this motivation roughly ‘once a year’, and is positive that if she can...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn elderly couple who have been doing some ‘DIY work’ on their Queenslander have failed to see the irony in some of their comments aimed at today’s youth, which goes to show that a lot of their negative comments are really just psychological projection.  Recently purchasing a stunning Queenslander in the French Quarter, Richard (68) and Julie Pryer (66)...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local man who has no need for chapstick other than the fact that he appears to like the mundane candle-like flavour, has today applied it to his lips for no reason. This comes after the 26-year-old from Betoota's Flight Path District saw his girlfriend use it - as they take in the sunlight of a roaring beer garden...

KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA local girl is cursing the concept of bottomless brunches today as she attempts to maintain a social life whilst staying sober. Stuck on a table of 12 at Siesta Cantina, a Betoota Lakes Mexican restaurant that serves cuisine about as authentic as a box of stand n’ stuff tacos from Woolies, Chelsea Peters (26) is dying...