Local News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact In yet another example of the 'rock and the star' - a local woman has found love with a man that lacks everything that makes her sparkle. Betoota-based book publisher, Katie (30) has only recently opened up about her increasingly serious relationship with local property buyer's agent Langdon (35). It is not known where the hell they met, and it...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman cuddling up with her boyfriend has had a strong urge to crawl inside him, in what can be described as a psychopathic love urge. Snuggling into him as close as humanly possible, Anita Lewis, 28, finds it’s not enough to have skin to skin contact, she needs to physically be inside him. And not in a sexual way....

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who loves her doona a little bit too much has ended up rocking to work looking like something the cat dragged in, after yet again choosing to lie in instead of looking presentable. Rocking her usual get up, which is a messy bun, baggy clothing and early any makeup, Amara Haversford, 28, admits there’s not much she...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA local victorian terrace share house has been left perplexed as to how their electricity bill could be so expensive this quarter. The bill, which covered the months of November, December and January appears to be almost double that of their regular bills, much to the confusion of the four roomies in their 20s. Maya (29), who was recently gifted...

LOUIS BURKE | Society | Contact In an unsurprising update in the 'lives' of real estate agents, it has been revealed that the work fridge in a Betoota real estate agency is full of lunches labelled with pictures of everyone’s faces. Clarence & Chode Real Estate has been a staple in the Betoota community for five years and a horrific thorn...

CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTBetoota Heights man Jay Silva (24) has officially solidified his status as the worst guy you know after casually revealing that he runs an Instagram account solely dedicated to his car. The bombshell dropped during what was meant to be a low-key work lunch when colleague Jason Nguyen started griping about the cost of servicing his 2012 Toyota...

LOUIS BURKE | Society | Contact In a whelming turn of events, today has been a slow news day, a concept that would have once bored us but these days comes as a welcome God damn relief. During the early stages of televised news it was not uncommon for a broadcaster to announce that there was no news today so that...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local uncle has decided that christmas time is the perfect day to introduce his new lover, who just so happens to be a good three decades younger than him. Arriving hand in hand with a girl who was way out of his league, Dan Parker, 56, at least had the sense to have a slightly reporaochful look in...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT STUNNING SCENES: In a move that has left her friends shook, Betoota local, Emily Johnson has broken her social media silence with not one, but two stunningly aesthetic sunset stories on Instagram. Known for her almost mythical presence online—posting only sporadically and often disappearing for weeks at a time—Emily’s sudden burst of social media activity has been nothing...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn what has become an annual post-Christmas tradition, 31-year-old Louise Jennings and her mum, Denise, have once again spent an entire Boxing Day hitting every department store in the Westfield mall, and bought fuck all except lunch. Hoping that this year will somehow be different, the pair had been on the hunt for some nice clothes, only to discover,...