EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

BIT OF BONDI MASOCHISM: In some interesting news from the science department at The Betoota Polytechnic University, It can be confirmed that the elevated mood many people report feeling after getting out of an ice bath is simply the body being relieved it’s no longer submerged in ice!

Speaking to a few students involved in the study, The Advocate learns that the euphoria felt after microdosing hypothermia is just the blood returning to the body, and all the endorphins rushing in to ease stress and pain,

Explaining her findings to our reporter, local physical science student Lana Thames says you can replicate these exact same feelings without microdosing hypothermia.

“You know that awful, panicked feeling you feel when you’ve lost your phone on a night out”, asks Lana, to which our reporter sheepishly nods, “and then you then you call up the last nightclub you were at, and one of the staff says you left the phone there?”

“It’s the exact same feeling.”

Lana says that the act of doing something so heinously unpleasant results in the participant feeling overwhelmingly positive once the stressor has been removed – making for a 100% successful business model.

“It’s low cost, because, well, it’s water.”

“And every person who does it is guaranteed to feel amazing afterwards.”

“Bloody brilliant idea.”

More to come.


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