Jacinta Allan Attempts To Fend Off Leadership Challenge With Stunning Rendition Of Melbourne Sound
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT After months of plummeting approval ratings, Jacinta Allan’s future as the Victorian premier currently hangs
Latest
Commonwealth Receives Quadrennial Reminder They Are That Shit
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Australians are giving it to the rest of their Commonwealth brothercousins in Scotland
Glasgow Thriving With The Economic Boost That Dan Andrews Denied Regional Victoria
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A solemn mood has swept across regional Victoria today - as the people of Gippsland, The Grampians
Lifting Of The 'Mayo Curse' Gives St Kilda Fans Hope That Maybe, Just Maybe, One Day, Well We Don't Wanna Jinx Anything, But
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A long, long, long suffering Saints fan has begun the week with a new found pep
One Nation Announce Policy Of Banning Dads From Doing Bed Time And Changing Nappies
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One Nation is speaking the language of many men around the country this week
Anyone Vowing To Turn Their Phone Off To Avoid The Frequencies Of The AusAlert Could Actually Probably Benefit From Turning Their Phone Off
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For that once very noisy cohort of Australians that wade in the waters of the lowest
Nanna Just Overjoyed That Eastern Rosellas Are Finally Getting The Praise They Deserve
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some feel good news for the nation on a Friday afternoon, a nice viral moment
2026 Spoon Bowl To Take Place At Very Spoon Bowl Venue
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A few hundred Rugba Leeg tragics are preparing to lumber into a deep pit
Townsville Man Rugs Up For A Bitter 24 Degree Evening at Country Bank Stadium
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Townsville man is slipping on his North Queensland ugg boots tonight as he
Local News
Sunday Hangover Cured By In-Depth And Highly Animated Debrief Of The Night Before
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT Following an absolute rager of a Saturday night, a young Betoota woman has managed to cure
WHO Classifies Local Morning Showerer's Bed As An Active Biohazard
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT The World Health Organisation has issued an official biohazard warning to residents of a Betoota Heights
Weird Smelling Op Shop Knit Still Sitting Untouched At The Back Of Wardrobe
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT A colourful op shop knit that a local Betoota woman thought was a good idea 3
Local Woman Saves Herself Three Months Of Dating And Asks To See New Bloke’s Algo
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local girl is being applauded in her close friends group chat today for
The Nation
Anyone Vowing To Turn Their Phone Off To Avoid The Frequencies Of The AusAlert Could Actually Probably Benefit From Turning Their Phone Off
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For that once very noisy cohort of Australians that wade in the waters of the lowest
Haha So-Called Cinephile Didn’t Even Experience The Odyssey In The Intended 70mm IMAX Aspect Ratio
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A so-called movie lover didn't even see Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey
Millennial Man Confirms GFC And Covid-19 Were Nothing Compared To The Red Ring Of Death
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A millennial man has reflected on the greatest humanitarian crisis in his 36 years of life,
Local Bushie Visiting A City Cafe Reckons This Spoilt Fucken Bernese Could Use The Barnaby Treatment
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Thargomindah-based stock agent, Leroy Stagg, often forgets that city people treat dogs like human beings.
World News
Cape Town Excited To Once Again Become A Big Deal As Red Sea Closure Redirects Global Trade Routes
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Cape Town residents are silently hopeful that the escalating instability in the Red Sea and a
Film Critics Agree The Only Thing Missing From 'The Odyssey' Is Eric Bana Speaking In A Thick Broadmeadows Accent
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In an era of second-screen viewing and underwhelming streaming slop, it can be confirmed this
Prince Harry Decides He’ll Just Start At Spoons And Kick On All Night After Being Denied Stay At Buckingham Palace
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Buckingham Palace has reportedly denied Prince Harry a place to stay during his UK visit this
Christopher Nolan Earns Rave Reviews For New Film About Powderfinger’s 4th Studio Album
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Off the back of his Oscar-winning Oppenheimer (2024) - it appears that Hollywood's most
Politics
Jacinta Allan Attempts To Fend Off Leadership Challenge With Stunning Rendition Of Melbourne Sound
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT After months of plummeting approval ratings, Jacinta Allan’s future as the Victorian premier currently hangs
Labor Loses Next Generation Of Voters After Fucken Albo Snitches On Schoolkids For Bringing Phones To Class
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Albanese Government has turned an entire generation of Gen Alpha voters off ever voting for
Adelaide's Motels Prepare For Influx Of Ugly People Sex Ahead Of Labor Party's National Conference
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Some of Australia's least aesthetically pleasing citizens are descending upon the South Australian capital
RSPCA Reports Thousands Of Calls From Inner City Suburbs After ABC Broadcasts A Dog Being Disciplined
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Australian Deputy Prime Minister turned fringe minor party MP, Barnaby Joyce sent shockwaves of horror
Sports
Glasgow Thriving With The Economic Boost That Dan Andrews Denied Regional Victoria
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A solemn mood has swept across regional Victoria today - as the people of Gippsland, The Grampians
God Forbid An Italian Has Hobbies
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT World Cup Socceroo star, Cristian Volpato, has been charged with being a Leichhardt boy who'
Sydney To Host The 'TNs Vs RMs' AFL Derby As Giants Takes On The Swans At Home
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sydney's rich cultural tapestry will be on display this weekend for Round 20 of
Australian Pubs Now Hotbeds For Nuanced Geopolitical Discourse After Broadcasting 39-Days Of Nonstop SBS
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Publicans right across the country are this week reporting a very noticeable lift in the standard