After Only 6 Months Under Socialist Rule, New Yorkers Say This Is The Best Year Of Their Lives
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time since 1973, the New York Knickerbockers are NBA champions -after a 94-
After Only 6 Months Under Socialist Rule, New Yorkers Say This Is The Best Year Of Their Lives
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor
Socceroos Credit Victory To Much Needed Hydration Breaks On 16 Degree Night In Vancouver
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
Latest
Trump Wraps Up Peace Deal So He Can Enjoy His Birthday Party
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Donald Trump has announced the US and Iran have finally reached a peace deal after almost
Origin Expected To Break Local Man After 72 Hours Of Red Lining On Sporting Excitement
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man is buckling under the strain of some severe pressure right now. With a
One Nation In Trouble As Australia Receives Biennial Reminder That Multiculturalism Is Key To Patriotic Sporting Glory
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Nestory Irankunda is officially the greatest Australian that ever lived, and One Nation has plummeted 15%
Australia Finally Get Revenge For Gallipoli As Turks Ambushed By Our Brave Socceroos
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 111 years after the brave young diggers were ambushed on the shores of Gallipoli, Australia has
Sydney’s Good Boys On The Verge Of Nervous Breakdowns After Nightly Vivid Fireworks
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Inner Sydney's good boys are on the brink of complete mental collapse as Vivid&
Australian Greeks Extremely Nervous About Tomorrow
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Hellenic Australians around the country are growing exceedingly anxious about the Socceroos opening match against Turkey.
Socceroos Fan Nervous About Lack Of Croatian Surnames On This World Cup Squad
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A 34 year old Socceroos fan is getting slightly nervous about the lack of Croatian representation
Local Man's Plan To Stay Off The Piss This Weekend Just As Likely As Trump's Imminent Iran Peace Deal
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Two distinct possibilities, poles apart, are today hurtling towards the same destination. Failure. This comes as
Local News
Local Man Thinks He's Helping By Mailing Bullets To The Mayor Over Proposed Rail Trail
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter pensioner has today expressed genuine confusion as to why everybody is
Employee Kindly Takes Resume Knowing Damn Well There Aren’t Enough Shifts To Go Round
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The unemployment rate in Australia is 4.5% according to the April figures from the Australian
‘Redraw!’ Exclaims Absolute Pub Larrakin 2.5 Seconds After The First Ticket Is Read Aloud At Meat Raffle
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The Betoota Bowls Club has been raffling meat since the time of Menzies. Meat raffles are
Local Women Slowly Dawdle Out Of Restaurant In Hopes The Other Will Suggest An Ice Cream First
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Two women grabbing dinner in Betoota’s French Quarter last night were seen emerging from the
The Nation
New Data Reveals Spike In Number Of Australian Households Where Mum Is The Primary Spider-Killer
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A new report from Betoota University indicates spider-killing duties are befalling an unprecedented number of
Younger Australians Confused As To How Their Parents Didn't Find This Guy Extremely Sus
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Younger Australians are scratching their heads after watching the recent Rolf Harris documentary on ABC. "
"Pffft $1.6m Isn't Even Lunch" Taylor Scoffs At One Nation's Pathetic Fundraising Effort
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Opposition leader Angus Taylor has been reminded this week that no matter how much
Local Journalist Breaks The Mould By Not Having Staunch Labor Voting School Teachers As Parents
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A crack news reporter based Betoota's youthful French Quarter has this week revealed an
World News
After Only 6 Months Under Socialist Rule, New Yorkers Say This Is The Best Year Of Their Lives
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time since 1973, the New York Knickerbockers are NBA champions -after a 94-
Trump Wraps Up Peace Deal So He Can Enjoy His Birthday Party
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Donald Trump has announced the US and Iran have finally reached a peace deal after almost
After Weeks Of Trying To Forget Each Other, World’s Most Toxic Love Triangle Now More Passionate Than Ever
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news that has the rest of the global community rolling their eyes, one of
Hollywood Confirms James Bond Will Now Drive A Canary-Yellow Monaro If Elordi Gets The Role
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Auditions for the next era of the James Bond franchise are currently taking place, with Australian
Politics
Government Adds Over 50s To Social Media Ban In Effort To Quell Swelling One Nation Vote
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The government is starting to panic but not for who you'd expect.
Report Finds One Nation's $400 Billion Defence Plan Was Modelled Off Red Alert 2
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One Nation's Defence Policy has come under fire this week, as it becomes clear
Reanimated Robert Menzies Elected As Tony Abbott's Vice President Of Liberal Party
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The reanimated corpse of Robert Menzies has been elected as vice president of Tony
Grandparents Inability To Use A Smart TV Sees Them Radicalised By Sky News On Samsung Home Screen
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Two loving local grandparents from the leafy enclave of Betoota Grove have gradually embraced the warm
Sports
NBA Finals Reminds World That Real Celebrities Are Much More Exciting Than Vapid Influencers And Podcasters
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite an already very crowded sporting news cycle, the entire planet is smiling for the people
Australia Finally Get Revenge For Gallipoli As Turks Ambushed By Our Brave Socceroos
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 111 years after the brave young diggers were ambushed on the shores of Gallipoli, Australia has
Australian Greeks Extremely Nervous About Tomorrow
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Hellenic Australians around the country are growing exceedingly anxious about the Socceroos opening match against Turkey.
Australia Excited To Annoy Soccer Fans By Calling It Soccer For The Entirety Of The Big Soccer Competition
KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact The national mood been given a much needed boost this morning with the news that