Supermarket Security Guard Confirms He Doesn't Get Paid Enough To Secure Anything
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A casually-employed security guard at the Betoota Heights Flemings has today clarified the exact terms of
Supermarket Security Guard Confirms He Doesn't Get Paid Enough To Secure Anything
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large
Latest
Old Codger On Lime Bike Is Needlessly Playing With Fire
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A bloke old enough to be eligible for APIA's insurance offerings is shaping up
AO Set For Historic Las Vegas Edition After NRL CEO Takes Reins Of Tennis Australia
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Australian tennis landscape is set for a major shakeup in the coming months, following the
Australian Man Begins Week With Renewed Hatred For Paparazzi Tabloid Scum After Watching Kylie Doco
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Betoota-based property valuer, Graham Crumsley (43) has had his long-held hatred of the tabloid media rejuvenated
Angus Taylor Reminds Colleagues That It Will Be Hard To Win Elections If They Keep Publicly Saying What Races Of People They Don't Like
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the last two Federal Elections, the Liberal Party's post-mortem reviews have been effectively
Gen-X Stoner Enraged The Official Top 50 Aussie Movies List Didn’t Include The Modern Classic, Fat Pizza
KEITH T. DENNET | South | CONTACT In entertainment news, a man who used to smoke three bongs a day is demanding
NSW Blues Keep Joey Johns Under Armed Guard Like A White Rhino Because He's The Last Bloke Down South Who Gets Origin
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Another State Of Origin series, another valiant effort from the people NSW who are now just
Man Lays Head On Girlfriend's Tummy For Some Of That Distant WW2 Battle ASMR
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact A local man has used some downtime this week to place his earhole against his
Hot Water Bottle And Cuppa Found To Be The Girlfriend Version Of 5 Guinness Pints
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the fresher months roll around, wives and girlfriends across Australia are currently relishing in their
Local News
Supermarket Security Guard Confirms He Doesn't Get Paid Enough To Secure Anything
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A casually-employed security guard at the Betoota Heights Flemings has today clarified the exact terms of
Adulthood Slaps Recent Graduate In The Face As Faithful Concession Travel Card Finally Expires
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Maya Renton (22) knew this day would arrive soon enough. Still, there’s no way she
Local Woman Realises Actual Socialising Will Never Beat The Tipsy Stroll Home At 8pm on a Friday
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT Local Betoota woman, Mary Swanborn, had an epiphany last Friday night that one's drunk
Early Bird Housemate Snakes Washing Machine AGAIN On Glorious Blue Day
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Gone are the summer days of putting your washing out and having it dry within half
The Nation
Australian Man Begins Week With Renewed Hatred For Paparazzi Tabloid Scum After Watching Kylie Doco
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Betoota-based property valuer, Graham Crumsley (43) has had his long-held hatred of the tabloid media rejuvenated
Gen-X Stoner Enraged The Official Top 50 Aussie Movies List Didn’t Include The Modern Classic, Fat Pizza
KEITH T. DENNET | South | CONTACT In entertainment news, a man who used to smoke three bongs a day is demanding
Man Lays Head On Girlfriend's Tummy For Some Of That Distant WW2 Battle ASMR
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact A local man has used some downtime this week to place his earhole against his
Hot Water Bottle And Cuppa Found To Be The Girlfriend Version Of 5 Guinness Pints
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the fresher months roll around, wives and girlfriends across Australia are currently relishing in their
World News
UK Government To Fix Everything By Replacing PM With Bloke Who Looks Like He Sells Apartments On The Goldy
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact British Prime Minister Keir Starmer is set to be replaced by a bloke called Wes in
Trump To Visit Australia After China To Continue Communist World Tour
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT US President Donald Trump has taken a brief recess from installing freedom in Iran to meet
Delta Goodrem Locks In Eurovision Support From UK And Ireland By Performing Born To Try As Nina Tucker
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT Australia’s sweetheart, Delta Goodrem has shocked audiences at the Eurovision Song Contest in Vienna this
British PM Kier Starmer Digs In After Receiving Motivation From Office Poster
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact British Prime Minister Kier Starmer is due to face his Waterloo in coming days but for
Politics
Teals In Talks To Form New Political Party 'Like The Liberals But Not Fucked In The Head From Sky News'
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Independent MPs, that now represent the Liberal Party's once safest urban electorates, are
Angus Taylor Reminds Colleagues That It Will Be Hard To Win Elections If They Keep Publicly Saying What Races Of People They Don't Like
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the last two Federal Elections, the Liberal Party's post-mortem reviews have been effectively
Tech Entrepreneurs Meet With Shadow Treasurer Malcom Roberts Who Immediately Asks If They Are Circumcised
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Shadow Treasurer Malcolm Roberts has met with concerned members of our puffer vest-owning community this week
Nation Realising Our Politicians Have Zero Fucken Clue How To Debate Economic Policy After 20 Years Of Culture Wars
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The last week of news headlines have left Australians in a state of confusion, as the
Sports
NSW Blues Keep Joey Johns Under Armed Guard Like A White Rhino Because He's The Last Bloke Down South Who Gets Origin
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Another State Of Origin series, another valiant effort from the people NSW who are now just
UK's Anti-Migrant Protestors Begin Warming Up For Pro-Migrant Mental Gymnastics Ahead Of FIFA World Cup
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Droves of Englishmen (and a few Welsh and Scottish) are already spit-balling some excuses and mental
Tigers And Titans Heading To Vegas A Pretty Good Sign It's Time To Wrap The Whole Thing Up
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Underground rugby league soothsayers are today making a big prediction about the future of the NRL.
Shock As Laurie Daley Names 57-Year-Old Former West Indian Cricketer Brian Lara On The Wing For NSW
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Fresh off the back of a bumper round of blowouts, Laurie Daley has rocked Rugby League