“What? I Always Wear These” Says Macron
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The rest of the free world was met with a puzzled look from the French president
AFP Hold Their Position Outside Sky News HQ As Federal Parliament Passes New Hate Speech Laws
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor
“What? I Always Wear These” Says Macron
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements
Nightclub Revellers Rejoice As World Bar Re-Opens With A Flume Set And $20 Teapots
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
Latest
Angus Taylor Apologises For Going Missing Over Summer After Getting Into League Of Legends
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There has been much conjecture this week as to the whereabouts of Shadow Defence Minister Angus
Liberals Blame Anthony Albanese For Creating Division In The Coalition
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Federal Opposition Leader (for now) Sussan Ley has today hit out at the Prime Minister once
Calling Someone 'Champ' To Be Banned Under New Hate Speech Laws
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT It can be confirmed that not only is calling someone ‘champ’ now banned under the government&
Brooklyn Beckham's Gripes Not Going To Be Taken Seriously Until He's Done Two Tours Of Afghanistan And A Few Vegas Benders
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A sequel to Prince Harry and the ex-Princes Meghan Markle's estrangement woes have taken
"Do I Love Australia? Fucken Oath, But I WILL NOT Be Ironing The Creases Out Of My Bangladeshi-Made Australian Flag Cape"
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local gentleman has today shared that while his love for this country runs deeper than
NSW Lock Out Laws Finally Repealed After Losing An Entire Generation To Ice Baths And Podcasts
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT The NSW government has finally repealed the last of its notorious lockout laws, meaning Kings Cross
Generous Gun Buyback Has Local Cooker Digging Up His Illegal Firearms And Handing Them In
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A generous new gun buyback scheme will take effect this week, prompting at least one local
Boomer Torn Between Viciously Ridiculing Nephew Over Electric Vehicle, And Asking For A Quick Spin
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local semi-retired plumber from our town's pebblecrete paradise of Betoota Heights, has spoken
Politics
Defence Minister Richard Marles Wonders If Trusting US With Half A Trillion Taxpayer Dollars Might Be A Bit Irresponsible Now Trump's Clearly Affected By Frontal Lobe Dementia
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Defence Minister Richard Marles is understood to be experiencing what sources described as a "late
Coalition Discovers An Underground Cave System Of Immeasurable Depths Below Rock Bottom
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Overnight the Federal Coalition has discovered that there is actually a vast expanse of darkness that
Angus Taylor Apologises For Going Missing Over Summer After Getting Into League Of Legends
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There has been much conjecture this week as to the whereabouts of Shadow Defence Minister Angus
Liberals Blame Anthony Albanese For Creating Division In The Coalition
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Federal Opposition Leader (for now) Sussan Ley has today hit out at the Prime Minister once
Sports
Young Star Antonio Arena Urged To Pick Socceroos Instead Of Italy So He Can Actually Go To World Cups
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The hottest name in the Australian footballing world has this week been implored to think long
Pathetic Australian Side Lives Up To The Title Of Worst In 15 Years By Only Winning 4 Out Of 5 Ashes Tests
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Australian cricketing fraternity is today at a generational low, trying to pick the pieces up
Bazball Struggles To Survive In The Animal Kingdom
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the revolutionary English cricket ideology of 'Bazball' once again proves in-conducive to test
Trendy Melbourne Bartender Unwittingly Clocks On For A Ten Hour Shift In Actual Hell
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Melbourne-based hospitality operator, Roy Fitz (33) has no idea that the cricket pitch at the MCG
The Nation
Nightclub Revellers Rejoice As World Bar Re-Opens With A Flume Set And $20 Teapots
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some exciting news for people who like to party in Sydney, the famous institution of
Calling Someone 'Champ' To Be Banned Under New Hate Speech Laws
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT It can be confirmed that not only is calling someone ‘champ’ now banned under the government&
NSW Lock Out Laws Finally Repealed After Losing An Entire Generation To Ice Baths And Podcasts
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT The NSW government has finally repealed the last of its notorious lockout laws, meaning Kings Cross
Concerns Raised That New Hate Laws Will Prevent People From Calling Referees And Umpires 'Fucken Blind'
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As parliament rushes through new gun and hate laws, political commentators and social media users around
World News
“What? I Always Wear These” Says Macron
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The rest of the free world was met with a puzzled look from the French president
Brooklyn Beckham's Gripes Not Going To Be Taken Seriously Until He's Done Two Tours Of Afghanistan And A Few Vegas Benders
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A sequel to Prince Harry and the ex-Princes Meghan Markle's estrangement woes have taken
Trump Reminded That Greenland Is Technically Half Australian So Fuck Off Mate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has taken time on his first day back at the office today
Australia Plans Attack On NZ To Seize The Largest Reserve Of Footy Players On Planet
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Less than a week after America's shock violation of international law, the fabric of
Local News
"Do I Love Australia? Fucken Oath, But I WILL NOT Be Ironing The Creases Out Of My Bangladeshi-Made Australian Flag Cape"
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local gentleman has today shared that while his love for this country runs deeper than
Generous Gun Buyback Has Local Cooker Digging Up His Illegal Firearms And Handing Them In
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A generous new gun buyback scheme will take effect this week, prompting at least one local
Boomer Torn Between Viciously Ridiculing Nephew Over Electric Vehicle, And Asking For A Quick Spin
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local semi-retired plumber from our town's pebblecrete paradise of Betoota Heights, has spoken
Betoota Golf Club Says Security Systems Are In Place If Any Brats On E-Bike Wanna Skid Across The Front Nine
KEITH T. DENNETT | Golf | CONTACT The board of Betoota’s most accessible golf club has issued a stark warning to