Local Dolphins Fan Asks Dan Murphy’s Staff To Recommend Something That Tastes Like A Sweet Sweet Victory
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Moreton Bay man has today walked into his local Dan Murphy's with one
"Don't Worry Babe, I'm Cooking Dinner" Man Says In Epic Troll
INGRID DOULTON | Lady
Word Of The Week: Diaphanous (Something Thin, Light, And Delicate Enough To Be See-Through)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
HR Department Curious Why 14 Men Have Suddenly Applied For Leave On The Same Day In November
ERROL PARKER | Editor-
Latest
QLD The Only State Who Won't Be Using Renewable Energy For Data Centres Because Of Course They Fucken Won't
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The State of Queensland has once again laid down the gauntlet to the uppity Southerners who
Townsville School Teacher Was Unaware That Jason Taumalolo Had Written A Book
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A veteran high school teacher in our state's Deep North has today let out
Inner City Teen’s Attempts At Rebellion Hampered By Parents Being Weirdly Supportive Of Everything
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A teenager from a trendy inner city suburb's attempts to rebel against his parents
Report: Not Going On Phone For 30 Minutes During Nail Appointment Is A Form Of Mindfulness
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT A report into the activities that Gen Z’s will claim as “mindfulness” has found that
Quirky Cafe's Confusing Bathroom Gender Signs Last Thing Hungover Man Needs Right Now
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A hungover mans Sunday has been thrown into chaos after needing to use the bathroom at
Lack Of Euro Summer Made Up For With Spectacular Views At The Local Taverna
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT "It's almost as if you're there!" he said while gazing
Local Woman’s New Lease On Life Doesn’t Last Long After Journalling For 3 Days In A Row
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT Everything was going to change for one local Betoota woman who put down the phone and
Potentially Hot Guy Spoils It By Smiling Enough To Reveal Blackmarket Nicotine Sachet
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local hot guy was seen giving every woman in a 10 meter radius the ick
Local News
Suburban Mega Pub Has Definitely Never Served A Beer To Anyone As Hot As The AI Chick In The Flyer
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With a playground for the sugar-high kids and 800 exciting poker machines, The Elephant'
Kid With A Teacher Mum Knocks Book Week Out Of The Park Again
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Remy Matthews' arrival to school this morning has left all the other kids in Ms
Sharehouse Finally Completes Six Season Show After Two Years Of Living Together
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Over two years after signing their lease, a sharehouse in Betoota’s french quarter have finally
Wealthy Renters Flaunt Their Luxurious Lifestyle With ‘Living Room'
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT An out of touch couple in Melbourne have continued to flaunt their lavish lifestyle with the
The Nation
Anyone Wearing These Pervert Glasses Needs A Hiding, Says Mainstream Australian Society
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new boom in 'Smart glasses' and other discreet recording devices has caused extreme
Moderate Liberal Unveils Economic Policy That Somehow Makes Full Blown Racism Look Like A Better Election Strategy
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The one bloke left in the Liberal Party that is meant to have his head screwed
Sturt's Desert Pea Loyalists Outraged As Flannel Flower Voted Australia's Favourite Wildflower
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT STOLEN ELECTION! Politicians and community leaders say that social cohesion is directly under threat, after a
Australia's Top 5 Most Committed Protesters That Have Been Rallying Outside Town Hall For Decades
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The Harbour City is growing up! This comes as designs for a new public square opposite
World News
Drunk Man Receives Unabridged History Of Pakistan After Asking Uber Driver His Thoughts On Imran Khan
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A drunk man with a surface level knowledge of Pakistan's history has just received
Farewell Dolly - An Icon For Rural Communities, Feminists, Rednecks, Gays, The Poor And The Glitzy
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Dolly Parton, the American country music singer who rose from rural poverty in post-war Tennessee
Never Ending Euro Heatwave Forces Spaniards To Push Back Dinner Even Later
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The never-ending European heatwave has forced Spaniards to push their already notoriously late dinners even
Veteran Tour Guide Delivers Weirdly Sexual Joke In The Middle Of The Day To Complete Silence
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT Attendees of a walking tour in Amsterdam were left standing in silence after an aging tour
Politics
4Corners Reveals Democracy Now So Compromised That Lobbyists No Longer Need To Operate In The Shadows
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A recent Four Corners investigation has revealed that we have finally reached the point where political
Victorian Premier Rocks A North Face Jacket As He Orders Every Bird In Melbourne To Be Caged For 300 Days
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the bitter winter climate continues to depress, Victorians could not be more primed to once
Super El Niño Poses Major Risk To Farmers, Wildlife, Any Politician Who Still Denies Climate Change
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT ENDANGERED SPECIES: As sea surface temperatures in the equatorial central‑eastern Pacific are expected to peak
Brokeback Barnaby Proves He's Not Some Darlinghurst Diva And Books The Priscilla Suite At Mario's Palace In Broken Hill
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Ever since jumping the fence six months ago, former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has faced
Sports
So-Called Rabbitohs Fan Hasn't Even Gotten On The Piss Down The Newmarket
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A bloke that spends a lot of time reading novels - in the most visible corner of
Sydney Swans Cautiously Decide Against Launching Into An Out-Of-Control Bender At An Extremely Indiscreet Venue In The Centre Of A Major City To Celebrate Round 24 Victory Over Mighty North Melbourne
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Sydney Swans have secured their second place on the AFL ladder this week, as the
Sporting World Shocked To It's Core As New Breaks That This Silly Bugger Might've Had A Bump In Majorca
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The entire planet's sports media ecosystem is at a standstill today. The unthinkable has
Report: Bring Back The Fat .....
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Cameron Smith, the champion Maroons and Storm number 9 has ruled himself out of the running