Mate Who Had A Shit Sleep Needs A Fancy Watch To Tell Him That
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has today come under light fire from his mates, after attempting to share
Mate Who Had A Shit Sleep Needs A Fancy Watch To Tell Him That
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
Flavio Bolsonaro Pulls A 'Reverse Ratline' And Flees Brazil For A Crumbling Fascist Dictatorship
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor
One Nation Defends Handing Out Kids Colouring-In Books At Rally: “They Weren't For Kids”
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
Latest
Departure Gate For Gold Coast Flight Either Most Beautiful Or Hideous People On Earth
IMRAN GASHKORI | Sport Editor | Contact A local man has made a casual observation this week down at the Remienko Memorial
Extrovert Mate Refers To Halloween As ‘Halloweekend’ To Let You Know He’ll Be Making Multiple Appearances
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT An absolute hero from Betoota’s French Quarter has today taken a moment to let his
Report: Still Waiting On That Gas Tax
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Prime Minister of Australia has today fronted the press for another day of dodging a
Bloke With Full Sleeve 'Theatre Masks' Tattoo Certainly Doesn't Mind A Bit Of Drama
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota Ponds bloke that is really pushing the limit with just how far you can
Choose From 9 Different BRS Headlines To Find One That Best Suits Your Algorithmic Echo Chamber
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Cause Of French Protests Finally Identified, Government Apologises For Banning Smoking On Public Transport
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Outgoing French President Emmanuel Macron has today resorted to a desperate measure. The leader of the
One Nation Unveils Long-Awaited Victorian Economic Policy Written Entirely In Pub Flyer Font
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After months of backlash for their cruel jokes about fellow politicians and controversial stereotypes about minorities,
NAB Christmas Party Looking Grim As CEO Announces Everyone Needs To Bring A Plate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Employers at NAB have been directed to brush up on their cob loaf and
Local News
Local Woman Falls Blissfully Asleep To The Most Deeply Twisted And Horrific Crime Podcast Available To Her
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local professional from Betoota's inner-city French Quarter has discovered the secret to
Bloke With Full Sleeve 'Theatre Masks' Tattoo Certainly Doesn't Mind A Bit Of Drama
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota Ponds bloke that is really pushing the limit with just how far you can
"How's That Feel?" Says The Third Schooner
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's a springtime Friday arvo in a sunny beer garden and the third schooner
Local Man Really Could Not Give A Flying Fuck About A Phone Screen That Folds
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local bloke with a bit going has decided he does not need to engage with
The Nation
130kg Samoan DJ Knows Exactly When To Drop ‘Toxic’ By Britney
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's Polynesian communities are as lively as ever this week, after some stand out
Morayfield Bloke Gets Great Value For His 4 Cents A Day After Being Saved From Floodwaters By ABC Reporter
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The people of Morayfield have never been more grateful that the Australian public broadcaster has the
Young Couple Trapped In A Small Town Head Up To The Lookout And Listen To Tracy Chapman's ‘Fast Car’ Again
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A young French Quarter couple are set to spend the early evening up on
Ecstatic Trade Specialist At Mount Gravatt Bunnings Wants To Know If You've Heard The News
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A trade specialist working the floor at Mount Gravatt Bunnings in Brisbane's southside is
World News
Meghan Markle Finally Accepted By The Royals After Revelations That She Has A Nonce In The Family
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | CONTACT The Royal Family and the BBC have suddenly welcomed the Duchess Of Sussex with open
French Student Protests Actually Just Migrants Being Criminals, Says Random Australian On The Internet
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 'Student Protests' currently taking place across all of France's major cities
Untaxed And Government-Aided Wealth Hoarding Of Baby Boomers Not Sustainable, Confirms French
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Providing the post-war voting blocks with half a century worth of extremely generous tax loopholes
Domino Effect: Pop Stops Worrying About Trans Athletes After Ukraine Strikes Russian Data Centres
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota Grove retiree is slowly returning to the political centre this week, that's
Politics
Unregulated Spread Of Online Hate Speech And Toxic Misinformation Proven To Have Tragic Real Life Consequences
A solemn mood has swept across the country today, after a senseless and violent attack on the much loved regional
Liberals To Oppose Regulating Big Tech Platforms That Have Completely Fucked Their Entire Political Movement
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In news that really shouldn't surprise anyone, the Liberal Party have once again chosen
Aussie Media Still Pretending A Political Party That Doesn't Believe In Childcare Or Abortion Has Even The Slightest Chance Of Winning Majority Government
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact With nothing else to talk about when it comes to domestic politics, the Australian media
Liberals Somehow Manage To Fuck Up Most Simple Form Of Politics As Anti-Immigration Policies Fall Flat
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Coalition's Century Of Humiliation continues this week, after their high risk policy thus
Sports
Report: This Is Pretty Hard
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Rugby league fans are suddenly outspoken fashion critics today, as the PNG Chiefs finally unveil their
French Burn Down Their Own Cities After Humiliating 78-4 Loss To Samoa In Rugby League World Cup
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hundreds of shops have been looted and 2,400 people have been arrested in France as
Roosters Die Hard Says Hotel Ravesis In Bondi Was Pumping Until At Least 10:45PM On Sunday Night
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sydney Roosters fans are arriving at work today with a grin. As their football heroes continue
Australia's Historically Working Class Sporting Underdogs Both Defeated In Fitting Metaphor For State Of The Nation
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The people of the New South Wales port city of Newcastle are now entering a period