Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sunrise Star Matt 'Shirvo' Shirvington has this week found himself awkwardly fumbling his way
Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
Superbowl LX To Host The Battle Of Sad White Boys Vs Angry White Boys
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements
High School Loose Unit Has Become A Terrific Social Worker
PETE CLARK | Melbourne
Fucking Psycho Small Town Criminal Tipped To Win Pre-Selection As Local One Nation Candidate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor
Latest
Div 4 Ressie’s Kickstart Season With 10 Mins Of Beach Touch Followed By 10 Hours Of Drinking
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In exciting news for fans of sports where it’s perfectly acceptable to tackle
Local Woman Pissed Enough To Accidentally Enjoy A Sucked Edamame Skin
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact Jessie Turner thought she was holding it together this evening as she sat at dinner
Nugget Man And Nugget Woman Have Nugget Baby
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact In exciting news out of the Royal Lady of Our Sacred Heart Hospital, Matt and
Local Man Stumbles Across His Crypto Portfolio In Bin
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has today been reminded of the whereabouts of a nice portion of his
Bloke With Interlock In Car Has A Lot To Say About Society’s Moral And Political Shortcomings
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The Advocate can today report that a man who legally has to blow into an interlock
Labrador Owner And Dog Inch 1kg Closer To Merging Into Each Other
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact They say dogs and owners look alike, and it seems that Pavel Zakharov (35) is
Uber Driver Gets Immediate 5 Stars From Visiting Country Boy For Driving Straight Over Roundabout
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact Local driver Simon Playmore usually pulls out all the stops to ensure his passengers give
Man Leaves Rental Inspection Early After Spotting Groups Of First Year Uni Students With Their Parents
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local man on the rental market has once again thrown in the towel after spotting
Politics
Fucking Psycho Small Town Criminal Tipped To Win Pre-Selection As Local One Nation Candidate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the media continues to give Pauline Hanson more oxygen than she knows what to do
Herzog This, CGT That. Who Gives A Shit. Albo Calls It A Week And Relaxes To Some Radio Birdman
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has called it a week this afternoon and put his noise cancelling headphones
One Nation Release First Economic Policy That Blames Inflation On Evil Gay Lizard Shapeshifter That Now Lives Inside Jim Chalmer's Skin
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Shadow Treasurer Malcolm Roberts has released One Nation's first economic policy this afternoon as
Lighter Moment For Liberals As Ted O'Brien Suggests He Might Be A Better Leader
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Shadow Treasurer Ted O'Brien has reportedly brought the house down as he laid out
Sports
Div 4 Ressie’s Kickstart Season With 10 Mins Of Beach Touch Followed By 10 Hours Of Drinking
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In exciting news for fans of sports where it’s perfectly acceptable to tackle
New Rivals Show Praised For Kindly Including Rugby Union In Search For Ultimate Footy Code
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a lovely news story for the much maligned code of Rugby Union, the game they
Wollongong's Greeks And Macedonians Kick Off Historic Argument Over Who Gets To Claim Alexander The Great
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The generational migrant communities of the NSW Illawarra region are once again arguing over the origins
Buzz Rothfield Retires From Sports Journalism To Spend More Time With His Exotic Dancers
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a sad day for consumers of Rugby League gossip, NRLCon icon Phil 'Buzz'
The Nation
21,235 Days Later, WA Police Confirm Harold Holt Is Missing
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Western Australian Police have today made a second damning revelation. Fresh off the back of
Kiwi Saleswoman Extremely Piss Fit
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report has found that middle aged corporate women who are from New Zealand have
Simple-Minded Boyfriend Only Has To Avoid Extremist Algorithm For 3 More Days Until Footy Kicks Off
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The low-functioning but independent-thinking boyfriends and husbands of Australia are being commended this week. Namely, for
All Sides Of Australia's Media, Political And Business Class Prepare To Unite In The Battle To Crush Any Suggestion Of Changes To The Way Property Is Taxed
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Treasurer Jim Chalmers is today preparing for battle, after laying down the gauntlet to the powers
World News
Superbowl LX To Host The Battle Of Sad White Boys Vs Angry White Boys
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Superbowl LX is sure to get the attention of white boys with two of America'
King Convinces Andrew To Move Out Of The Royal Lodge
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The person formally known at Prince Andrew has moved out of the Royal Lodge, as per
Trump Threatens Iran With 'Major Distraction' From State-Sponsored Murder Of Americans; Being A Nonce
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact US President Donald Trump has threatened Iran with what aides are describing as a "major
International Hottest 100 Artist Either 'Really Stoked Man I Love Australia' Or Could Not Give A Shit
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the Hottest 1oo races towards crowning Olivia Dean, a raft of artists have dialled into
Local News
Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sunrise Star Matt 'Shirvo' Shirvington has this week found himself awkwardly fumbling his way
High School Loose Unit Has Become A Terrific Social Worker
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT A local man who completely went off the rails a bit in high school has prevailed
Local Woman Pissed Enough To Accidentally Enjoy A Sucked Edamame Skin
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact Jessie Turner thought she was holding it together this evening as she sat at dinner
Nugget Man And Nugget Woman Have Nugget Baby
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact In exciting news out of the Royal Lady of Our Sacred Heart Hospital, Matt and