Employee Kindly Takes Resume Knowing Damn Well There Aren’t Enough Shifts To Go Round
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The unemployment rate in Australia is 4.5% according to the April figures from the Australian
Employee Kindly Takes Resume Knowing Damn Well There Aren’t Enough Shifts To Go Round
PETE CLARK | Melbourne
Friend’s New Boyfriend Gives Everyone The Ick With Puffer Vest And Shorts Combo
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle
Latest
New Data Reveals Spike In Number Of Australian Households Where Mum Is The Primary Spider-Killer
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A new report from Betoota University indicates spider-killing duties are befalling an unprecedented number of
Local Woman’s Accent Leaning A Little British Means Love Island Season Is Back
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local Betoota friend group were seen with puzzling facial expressions as their Australian born friend
Younger Australians Confused As To How Their Parents Didn't Find This Guy Extremely Sus
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Younger Australians are scratching their heads after watching the recent Rolf Harris documentary on ABC. "
"Pffft $1.6m Isn't Even Lunch" Taylor Scoffs At One Nation's Pathetic Fundraising Effort
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Opposition leader Angus Taylor has been reminded this week that no matter how much
DFAT Advises All Australians In New York To Show Extreme Caution And Avoid Wearing Black
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Australia's Department of Foreign Affairs & Trade has today issued an urgent warning to
Report Finds One Nation's $400 Billion Defence Plan Was Modelled Off Red Alert 2
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One Nation's Defence Policy has come under fire this week, as it becomes clear
Only Child Finishing High School About To Learn For The First Time Nobody Really Gives A Fuck What They Think About Anything
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact A young bloke with the world at his feet will learn a few things about
Pauline Hanson Launches Fundraising Drive To Take The Pressure Off Our Billionaire Mining Oligarchs
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Pauline Hanson has this week taken the next serious step towards becoming the Prime Minister of
Local News
Employee Kindly Takes Resume Knowing Damn Well There Aren’t Enough Shifts To Go Round
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The unemployment rate in Australia is 4.5% according to the April figures from the Australian
‘Redraw!’ Exclaims Absolute Pub Larrakin 2.5 Seconds After The First Ticket Is Read Aloud At Meat Raffle
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The Betoota Bowls Club has been raffling meat since the time of Menzies. Meat raffles are
Local Women Slowly Dawdle Out Of Restaurant In Hopes The Other Will Suggest An Ice Cream First
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Two women grabbing dinner in Betoota’s French Quarter last night were seen emerging from the
Friend’s New Boyfriend Gives Everyone The Ick With Puffer Vest And Shorts Combo
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT Introducing a new partner can always be a difficult meeting to master, however for one woman
The Nation
New Data Reveals Spike In Number Of Australian Households Where Mum Is The Primary Spider-Killer
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A new report from Betoota University indicates spider-killing duties are befalling an unprecedented number of
Younger Australians Confused As To How Their Parents Didn't Find This Guy Extremely Sus
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Younger Australians are scratching their heads after watching the recent Rolf Harris documentary on ABC. "
"Pffft $1.6m Isn't Even Lunch" Taylor Scoffs At One Nation's Pathetic Fundraising Effort
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Opposition leader Angus Taylor has been reminded this week that no matter how much
Local Journalist Breaks The Mould By Not Having Staunch Labor Voting School Teachers As Parents
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A crack news reporter based Betoota's youthful French Quarter has this week revealed an
World News
After Weeks Of Trying To Forget Each Other, World’s Most Toxic Love Triangle Now More Passionate Than Ever
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news that has the rest of the global community rolling their eyes, one of
Hollywood Confirms James Bond Will Now Drive A Canary-Yellow Monaro If Elordi Gets The Role
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Auditions for the next era of the James Bond franchise are currently taking place, with Australian
Toowoomba Bloke On First Europe Trip Reckons These Napolitanos Just Need A Bit Of Pineapple And They'd Be Nailing It
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prominent Toowoomba-based solar sales rep, Sheehan Gostwyck (31) has never been to continental Europe before.
Humiliation As The Falling American Empire Gets High Speed Rail Before Us
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Australians are struggling to process reports that the pseudo-"developed" country of the United
Politics
Report Finds One Nation's $400 Billion Defence Plan Was Modelled Off Red Alert 2
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One Nation's Defence Policy has come under fire this week, as it becomes clear
Reanimated Robert Menzies Elected As Tony Abbott's Vice President Of Liberal Party
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The reanimated corpse of Robert Menzies has been elected as vice president of Tony
Grandparents Inability To Use A Smart TV Sees Them Radicalised By Sky News On Samsung Home Screen
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Two loving local grandparents from the leafy enclave of Betoota Grove have gradually embraced the warm
Falling Fertility Rates Causes Government To Offer Tax Breaks For 2000s-Style RnB Nightclubs
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT New data has shown that Australia’s fertility rate has fallen to its lowest level in
Sports
Extremely Middle Class Colleague Has The Basketball Game Up On His Phone And Is Pretending To Work Ha Ha
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact While lesser parts of the country were off growing fat on the couch yesterday,
English Cricketer Handle Your Piss Challenge: Impossible
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact English Test Captain Ben Stokes has done himself a mischief while out on the
Brisbane Man Actually Might Go Check Out A Bandits Match After Last Week's NRL, AFL And Origin Results
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A dead on the inside Brisbane man is seriously considering a major sporting code pivot after
Dragons Fans Finally Celebrate Not Getting Fucked Over By The Ref For First Time In 15 Matches
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Brisbane Broncos endured their most embarrassing NRL loss of the season yesterday, after a dismal