Report: Fuck Things Must Be Pretty Crook Inside The BBC
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation has woken up this morning to once again find out that a British TV
Report: Fuck Things Must Be Pretty Crook Inside The BBC
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
The Deep State Finally Silences All-Powerful Co-Star Of Two Mildly Popular 2000s Comedies
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet
Latest
Worthless Huntsman Allows Gnat Population To Explode In Local Man's Kitchen
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A huntsman left alone to control insects in a Betoota Heights kitchen has been
Brax Emerges As Late Contender To Play Bond
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT Just as the world thought the competition for James Bond was coming to an end, a
PM Sorts Mate That Needs A Job
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Anthony Albanese has done a solid this week and helped out a mate who
“Tell Them I Don’t Run One Nation… I Mean, Gina Rinehart Doesn’t Run One Nation” Says Pauline Hanson
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Pauline Hanson has today spoken to The Betoota Advocate to clarify that all of her party&
Nation Shocked To Learn Aussie Cricketers Knew About Extremely Brazen Ball Tampering Before We Did
The nation is this week REELING from one of the most explosive bombshell's ever dropped on the Australian
PM Unfazed By Chinese Spies Infiltrating Local Billionaire Community Because They're All Racist
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has told reporters in Canberra this week that he is
Ben Carroll Says Big Build Royal Commission Is A ‘Fucking Beat Up’
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Outgoing Victorian Premier Ben Carroll has today been accused of giving a rather calculated political press
Samoan Mate Blames The Keferee
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local French Quarter man has today confirmed that he's still struggling to talk
Local News
Local Woman Falls Blissfully Asleep To The Most Deeply Twisted And Horrific Crime Podcast Available To Her
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local professional from Betoota's inner-city French Quarter has discovered the secret to
Bloke With Full Sleeve 'Theatre Masks' Tattoo Certainly Doesn't Mind A Bit Of Drama
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota Ponds bloke that is really pushing the limit with just how far you can
"How's That Feel?" Says The Third Schooner
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's a springtime Friday arvo in a sunny beer garden and the third schooner
Local Man Really Could Not Give A Flying Fuck About A Phone Screen That Folds
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local bloke with a bit going has decided he does not need to engage with
The Nation
PM Vows To Slash Government Spending, Still Not Clear If That Means Scomo's $400B Vanity Subs
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the Reserve Bank's decision to raise the cash rate for the 5th time
Report: Nothing Like A Packed Bus On A Dreary Morning After Yet Another Rate Rise
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Reserve Bank of Australia is awash with excitement this morning, after learning that their most
130kg Samoan DJ Knows Exactly When To Drop ‘Toxic’ By Britney
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's Polynesian communities are as lively as ever this week, after some stand out
Morayfield Bloke Gets Great Value For His 4 Cents A Day After Being Saved From Floodwaters By ABC Reporter
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The people of Morayfield have never been more grateful that the Australian public broadcaster has the
World News
20 Years Later, The Rest Of Texas Finally Catches Up With The Dixie Chicks
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In what looks to be the most radical shift in American politics since the Roosevelt Presidency,
Intentionally Making Life Hard For People With No Long-Term Gain Not A Successful Political Strategy
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It seems that being needlessly nasty to everyone that you deem to be weak and powerless
Meghan Markle Finally Accepted By The Royals After Revelations That She Has A Nonce In The Family
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | CONTACT The Royal Family and the BBC have suddenly welcomed the Duchess Of Sussex with open
French Student Protests Actually Just Migrants Being Criminals, Says Random Australian On The Internet
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 'Student Protests' currently taking place across all of France's major cities
Politics
Unregulated Spread Of Online Hate Speech And Toxic Misinformation Proven To Have Tragic Real Life Consequences
A solemn mood has swept across the country today, after a senseless and violent attack on the much loved regional
Liberals To Oppose Regulating Big Tech Platforms That Have Completely Fucked Their Entire Political Movement
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In news that really shouldn't surprise anyone, the Liberal Party have once again chosen
Aussie Media Still Pretending A Political Party That Doesn't Believe In Childcare Or Abortion Has Even The Slightest Chance Of Winning Majority Government
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact With nothing else to talk about when it comes to domestic politics, the Australian media
Liberals Somehow Manage To Fuck Up Most Simple Form Of Politics As Anti-Immigration Policies Fall Flat
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Coalition's Century Of Humiliation continues this week, after their high risk policy thus
Sports
Historical Context Of Lebanon’s Thrilling Victory Over France Completely Lost On NRL Commentators
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Ear drums were perforating in Western Sydney overnight as fans of the Lebanese national rugby league
Young Queenslander Terrifies His Neighbours By Dressing As A Nonchalant Game 3 Laurie Daley For Halloween
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Authorities are calling for calm in South-West Queensland this week, after hysterical reports of a
Report: This Is Pretty Hard
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Rugby league fans are suddenly outspoken fashion critics today, as the PNG Chiefs finally unveil their
French Burn Down Their Own Cities After Humiliating 78-4 Loss To Samoa In Rugby League World Cup
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hundreds of shops have been looted and 2,400 people have been arrested in France as