Gen X Rock Dog Makes It To 52 Before Realising Kram From Spiderbait’s Name Is Mark And Kram Is Mark Backwards

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

An old fool from our town's cosmopolitan French Quarter has had his brain fucked by reality this week after independently coming to the startling conclusion that Kram from Spiderbait's name is Mark and Kram is just Mark backwards.

From the rice paddies of the New South Wales Riverina came the nation's alternative music juggernaut Spiderbait and on the drums was Mark Maher. There were two other Riverine people in that band but for the purposes of this news article, they are irrelevant.

Ken Lee, a retired geography teacher and Metamucil abuser, told The Advocate he was giving his rooted Mitsubishi ASX another gutfull of E10 down at the Greens Road Puma servo as he came to the revelation.

Spiderbait's 'Calypso' was playing softly on the servo's speakers.

"I was thinking, 'Man, I haven't heard Spiderbait in ages. Wonder what Kram's up to these day?' and it just fucken went bang. I knew his name was Mark and then the letters just assembled themselves in my mind's eye," he said.

"So deep in shock I was, I didn't realise I'd accidentally taken the nozzle out and I'd sprayed E10 up the side of the car. Still. I can't believe it's taken me this long to realise it."

Our reporter then had the grim duty of informing Mr Lee that 'Black Betty' is not named 'Pam Ballam' and he thought.

"You mean to say the song doesn't go, 'Woah-oh Black Betty, Pam Ballam. She's from Birmingham, Pam Ballam, way down in Alabam?' Jesus Christ. What is it then? Bam Ba-lam? What the hell? That doesn't even make sense? I thought they were singing about a Black woman called Pam. Pam Ballam?" he added.

"What are you going to tell me next? That it's actually a cover?"

More to come.