Pigs Have Flown After Englishman Moves Back Home

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Australia is in shock this week after an Englishman who abandoned his windswept little island for greener grass abroad has chosen to move back home.

Prince Harry famously called time on being English a few years ago and left with his wife Meghan and kids to go live in California. Can't blame him really. That little strip between Los Angeles and San Francisco, if you are rich as hell, is pretty unbeatable in terms of lifestyle. Sure, you'd be girt by cunts but you'd have to be one yourself to live there.

But he's had enough of whatever the hell he's been doing, which looks to be fuck all, and he's going back to London.

The news has certainly taken many Australians by surprise as in our culture, Englishpeople come here and they don't leave because we have all the best parts of England and none of the shit parts.

A recent study by the Australian Government has found not one Englishman has moved back home under the own steam in the history of our Commonwealth. Once here, they do whatever it takes to stay. Which makes Prince Harry's rejection of the American dream hard for locals to understand.

"To say I was shocked, is an understatement," said one Betoota Heights woman.

"Poms never go home. The last Australian to die in England was Sir John Kerr and he didn't have much choice. He would've got the old trade union noogie (a .38 hollow-point to the forehead and a shallow grave in the Grampians) if he came back here. No, it's very odd to hear of them going home,"

"And we can't blame them. Outside London's Zone 2, the place is largely uninhabitable. I'd get out if I could."

More to come.