IN-Focus

Undercover Epidemiologist Who Emerged 18 Months Ago Now An Expert On The Evergrande Debt Crisis

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Because he doesn't live in a diseased hellhole in the icy south of the country, a know-it-all city worker in Brisbane is at the pub this afternoon regaling his workmates in why the Evergrande debt crisis in China is going to fuck everything. John Frum, a 26-year-old network architect, was also the office go-to...

Barnaby Confirms Jabs Are Our Best Defence Against The Air Smelling Like Burning Flesh Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Acting Prime Minister has vowed to never let the air of Southeastern Australia stink like burning flesh again - telling reporters in Canberra today that the best way to prevent that from happening is through jabs science. Barnaby Joyce recalled those grim days in Melbourne earlier this year when the Pangolin's Revenge returned for...

Confusion Grows As To Who’s Actually Running The Show In Canberra As JoFry Commits To Net Zero

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact While the Prime Minister is away, Josh Frydenberg has seemingly come out in support of net zero by 2050 and says the nation will be left behind if we don't commit to reducing carbon emissions. In a few hours, Scott Morrison is due to meet with British PM Boris Johnson and President Biden to show...

Scotty Puts His World-Renown Negotiating Skills To The Test And Effectively Cancels The Ashes

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact This summer's Ashes series against England is pretty much off because a deal could not be struck between the Morrison Government and the English Cricket Board. England's players have been given an exemption by the government to enter the country to play cricket but their wives, girlfriends and assorted family have not and according to...

Melbourne Tradie Lockdown Forces Scott Cam Back Onto The Tools To Get The Block Back On Track

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia's favourite television tradie has been forced to get back into the tools for the first time since 1971 in an effort to keep the corporate johnny's at Channel Nine happy. Tradespeople are now banned from working on commercial and residential projects in Melbourne for two weeks after their gripes against the man were hijacked...

Scotty Stocks Up On His Australian Flag Masks In Case China Stops Making Them

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Our Prime Bloke Scott Morrison has instructed his aides to make sure he has enough Australian flag masks to last him a couple years in case China stops making them for him over recent developments. "You never know what they're up to, the Chinese," said Morrison to The Advocate. Once again, our reporter concluded that Mr...

Greg Hunt Rolls Eyes And Lets Out A Sarcastic Woohoo After Winning Tickets To Boxing Day Test

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Federal Health Minister Greg Hunt says his Christmas plans 'have gone to shit' this afternoon after winning tickets to the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne in an office raffle. "Woohoo!" he said sarcastically. "Does this mean I have to go? I hate cricket." Mr Hunt look around the party room and caught the Member for Canning,...

“Why Didn’t What’s His Face Bring Barnaby? I Love That Guy,” Says Biden Walking Into State Dinner With That Fella

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact US President Joe Biden has expressed his disappointment this morning after walking into a State Dinner with Prime Minister Scott Morrison last night to learn he didn't bring his happy-go-lucky right-hand-man Barnaby Joyce. Turning to an aide, President Biden reportedly asked where Barnaby was as he was lead to believe that the Member for New...

Bored Woman Planning To Make Some Croissants Visibly Shaken By The Cost Of Butter Sheets

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After being told to stay inside and away from a foreign super flu for what seems like fifty years, a Sydney woman with roots in the Diamantina has said she looked into making her own croissants because she was that fucking bored. But looking through the list of ingredients this afternoon, Lucy Trangia said she...

“Fuck Me Dead, There’s Lots Of French In Canberra,” Says Barnaby Copping Another Drive-By Spray

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Acting Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has been copping more drive-by abuse than normal, he says, which he chalks up to there simply being a lot of French people who call Canberra home. The Member for New England enjoys going for hill sprints from the Canberra National Pistol Club all the way to the summit of...

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