IN-Focus

Curious Local Woman Immediately Regrets Taking Photo Of Her Side Profile

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local woman Lauren Gilbert was enjoying an afternoon shopping with girlfriends when she caught sight of her profile in one of the multi mirrored changerooms. Bolstered by the flattering lighting and in an unusually masochistic mood, Lauren decided to take some pictures of the side of her face...

Man Who Collects Soggy Leaves Finally Gets A Pool

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT The purchase of a new pool is always an exciting event, but especially so for soggy leaf collector Anand Dyer. Anand, who owns Australia’s second-largest collection of soggy leaves, took delivery of a new 6x3m fibreglass inground pool this week and expects that it will be fully installed...

Local Bodybuilder Has Been On A Juice Diet For Years

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Sitting at a Bulimba café on a sunny weekday morning after a solid lead session, bodybuilder Rheece Johnson ears pricked up after hearing a woman go on about an amazing new juice diet she’s been on. “So here I am thinkin’ you beauty, a summer flame who’s on the...

Sky News Uncle And Vegan Niece Form Silent Pact To Not Ruin Christmas

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Christmas miracles may not just be for early 20th century films where you have to ignore the racist bits. As with all families that would rather spend Christmas Day with the side of the family they actually like, the McGregors organised a pre-Christmas gathering to enjoy a couple of...

Garlic Heavy Lunch Valiantly Defeats Several Rounds Of Mouthwash

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT An inner-city businesswoman has royally fucked up her day by eating garlic chicken salad for lunch. The account manager in question, Mikayla Ellis, reveals that she’d left her ham and cheese sandwich on the kitchen counter and was forced to buy from the overpriced bistro located underneath her office. Torn between a...

Rescue Services Praise OneFour For Promoting Appropriate Respiratory Cautions During Bushfires

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Mount Druitt rap group OneFour have today been praised for helping the greater Sydney community prepare themselves for the catastrophically poor standard of air bellowing across the city, as bushfires rage on the suburban outskirts. Rescue services says that the Pasifika drill outfit have prevented what could have been...

House With Prayer Flags Identified As Most Likely Source Of Suburb’s Strong Marijuana Aromas

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT One of Betoota’s newests residents could be in the running for the Guiness World Record for ‘Quickest Crime Ever Solved.’ Surgical nurse Leanne (33) was going for a walk around her new neighbourhood in Betoota’s Flight Path District when the unmistakable waft of freshly smoked marijuana filled her...

RSL Staff Begin Questioning Sobriety Of Man Petting Donation Dog While Signing In

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT An RSL staff member was alerted to a potential drunk as sources reveal a man was seen having a yarn with the Guide Dogs Australia Donation Dog. Staff say the man caught their attention as it was unusual to see someone under the age of sixty that early...

Man Enthusiastically Buys Google Home Only For It To Collect Dust

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT After driving to his JB Hi-Fi to purchase a new pair of earphones, local man Ryan Davies decided to impulse buy a Google Home Mini. The smart device, designed to play music and schedule meetings, has so far been used mostly to answer dirty questions and play random...

Influencer Given Free Night In Hotel Suite That’s Much Less Impressive Than Childhood Bedroom

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Medium-sized Australian Insta-model, Storm Waterhouse (23) is today finally tasting the fruits of 4 months of posting bikini shots to her Instagram. While the free crop-tops and teeth whitening kits come and go, today Storm is experiencing something that feels a lot more like she's killing it.

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