IN-Focus

WA Premier Mark McGowan Begins Carrying Rogue State’s Nuclear Launch Codes As Relations With East Break Down

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Premier of the Democratic People's Republic Of West Australia (DPRWA) has begun carrying the hermit kingdom's nuclear launch codes with him wherever he goes after relations with our continent's east sink to an all-time low. Earlier this week, the rogue state's defacto leader Premier Mark McGowan slammed the "pig-headed" leaders of the Eastern...

Albo Christens New Kirribilli Home Office With Some Cute Knick Knacks He Got From Japan

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThere’s been a big shift in Australian politics this week, as the nation watched in confusion as our prime minister met with international delegates, and didn’t appear to do anything embarrassing or mildly insulting. Anthony Alabanese has appeared at QUAD as one of his first duties as prime minister, which he did so with the new foreign minister Penny...

Courier Fired For Leaving Package At Door Instead Of Random Post Office Three Suburbs Away

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn Auspost delivery driver has today been absolutely reamed by his boss for going against company rules and actually following a customer’s instructions. Terry Hayes tells The Advocate that the recipient had selected ‘yes’ to having their package left at their doorstep if they weren’t home, which he’d assumed was exactly what he was supposed to do. However,...

Albo Rips The Tarp Off The Old Prime Ministerial WL Caprice And Tells The Team To Get Her Going

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has told his staff that he no longer wants to get driven around in the Prime Ministerial BMW 7-Series because he doesn't like BMW or what they stand for. After arriving back in the country from Japan today, it's understood by The Advocate that Albo took a visit out to the...

Man-Of-The-People Albo Insists On Having The Same Disgusting In-Flight Meal As His Team

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The age of senior public servant entitlement is over, according to the Prime Minister, who peeled the plastic off his in-flight meal himself today as he and his team jetted back to Canberra from the Quad Talks in Japan this week. "I'm having the same disgusting in-flight meal as you guys," Anthony Albanese told his...

Life Hack: Local Man Borrows Some Tourist’s Number Plates To Go Get A Free Tank Of Petrol

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man has found an ingenious way to get a free tank of petrol every time he needs to fill up. Instead of just putting $20 at a time into his Ford Laser like some sort of caveman, Brendan Murray walks the streets of his area before getting petrol and simply unscrews the...

Povo Barnaby Gets On With The Job After Taking 60% Pay Cut By Catching 11 Pigeons To Feed His Growing Family

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce is one again in the poor house, according to the man himself as he explained to The Advocate that he's back to his old tricks. As Mr Joyce is now the de facto leader of a fringe political party, his pay has been cut by 60% of what...

Next Ep Of Pauline Hanson’s Please Explain To Feature Former Senator Trying To Get On JobSeeker

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A case of regicide has occurred in outer-metro south-east-corner Queensland this weekend as our state's disenfranchised and fed-up hinterland men turned on their Queen. One Nation leader Pauline Hanson is set to lose her spot in the Federal Senate; her duty Malcolm Roberts has zero hope of returning to the red room. The tectonic shift...

Puffer Jacket Chode Feels Ripped Off After Buying A $5 Democracy Sausage At Under-Funded State School

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A young man who's spent 32 years living in his entrepreneur father's shadow has blasted a Betoota Heights state school for charging him $5 for a deluxe democracy sausage. Speaking to The Advocate outside the only polling station in our town's north, Spencer-Douglas Sterling-Langley said on top of the extortionate price they're charging for food,...

Inner-City Liberal Volunteer Receives Final Snide Remark And Eye Roll From Yuppie Teal Couple As Polls Close

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Someone's son put on a brave face today as young couple after young couple rolled their eyes at him, some even telling him what they thought of him, as he handed out flyers at the Greenbrier Road State School in Betoota Grove. In one of the leafiest enclaves in our cosmopolitan desert republic, many Betoota...

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