Opinion: A Definitive List Of Things The Diggers DID NOT Fight For This Anzac Day
HARVEY TWAT |Outrage| ContactListen up you no good pumpernickel rounds with candied candle wax in your lilly ears, it’s Anzac season and I will not tolerate another of your big stinky opinions about the human cost of war and why it’s decidedly ‘not woke’ to mourn a failed invasion we were strongarmed into by the greatest monarchy on Earth.
Why not? Two...
Margot Robbie Announces Break From Acting After Suffering Extensive Hip Injuries Filming Barbie
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some breaking news in entertainment, Aussie actress Margot Robbie has lashed out at director Greta Gerwig, with claims that the Little Women director has caused her ‘irreversible injuries’ on the set of the Barbie movie, which has quickly cast a dark cloud on the release of the extended trailer and new promo shots, revealing an all star...
Advice Column | Strategies To Ignore The Guilt Of Unnecessarily Raising Your Investment Property’s Rent Again
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTLast night, I attended the 32nd Annual Landlord’s Property Gala held in Betoota’s Old City Convention Centre, rubbing shoulders with the who’s who of the region’s property investment industry.
I spoke with many landlords that had of course capitalised recently on the so called ‘rental crisis’ by hiking their weekly rents up huge amounts, in...
Advice Column | Time To Refinance Your Mortgage Or Just Stick Your Head In An Oven And Press Start?
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTAs Australia’s only finance guru who knows what it’s like to be broke and unable to save more than $500 at any given time, this year’s upcoming fixed rate mortgage cliff is going to hurt like Hemorrhoids.
Soon more than $400b worth of fixed rate home loans are going to expire, meaning for all those...
Bloke That Butchered Small Talk With Bartender Opts For QR Code On Second Round
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Justin Powell has never been that great at small talk.
Whether it’s while taking the lift with a colleague, meeting up with a client, or simply standing around a Webber at a backyard BBQ, Justin often struggles to pull off good chat with strangers.
In the midst of sharing a round of glass-sandwiches in downtown Betoota,...
Sydney’s Oxford Street To Host Thousands Of Real Life Cocaine Bears This Weekend
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn a nice twist of events, it appears that life will imitate art this weekend, as thousands of cocaine bears are set to hit Sydney’s Oxford Street.
Josh Ellis , a Betoota Heights local that will be making the pilgrimage, tells The Advocate that he’s managed to book tickets to ‘at least three parties this weekend’, and that his...
Opinion: Drag Queens, My Children Ignoring My Calls And More Woke Nonsense
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTI have a deal with The Betoota Advocate to write one article a month about my musings, insights and witticisms on the tangy wombat stew we call the modern Australian culture.
Due to my witness statements about how the chairman’s wife did indeed fall out of the helicopter as an accident, I have this longstanding deal with the old...
Supermarket Charging $7 For Pack Of Chips Worried Customers Are Stealing From Them
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Australian supermarkets have announced bold plans to reduce theft (by customers) on their premises.
At the time of writing, 40% of Australian stores including Coles, Woolworths and Bunnings, use some sort of ‘crime prediction technology’ to profile all shoppers and figure out which one of them is going to commit an Ocean’s 11 style heist.
Other invasive technologies such as...
Andy Griffiths Publishers To Rename First Book In Bum Trilogy To ‘The Day My Bum Acted Out Of Character’
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs news spreads of Roald Dahl novels having 'offensive' language removed to adapt to modern audiences, it appears that beloved Australian children’s author Andy Griffiths has also copped the same treatment, which has included changing half of the book names in his ‘Just’ series (‘Just Crazy’ to ‘Just Intense’ and ‘Just Stupid’ to ‘Just Uninformed’) and the first...
God Confirms Short-Term Rentals Are A Pox On Society He Sent To Show Us What Real Greed Looks Like
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
God has released a statement this morning that outlined what many here on this spinning hellrock have long suspected.
Short-term rental platforms are a pox sent from God that is supposed to teach us all what real greed looks like and the knock on effects that can have on society.
"Turning housing, which many see as...