IN-Focus

Albanese Open To Compulsory Betting On Sport Where Fans Must Wager In Order To View Matches

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A report conducted by the gambling lobby has found that forcing fans to bet on matches will make the experience much more enjoyable. Mandatory betting on sports matches is something that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese says he's open to after he reportedly watered down attempts by the crossbench to outlaw the shameless and violent advertising...

Mining Analysts Conclude Athletes Have Outperformed The Kalgoorlie Super Pit

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the Diggers & Dealers Mining Forum kicks off this weekend, mining analysts are abuzz with a surprising revelation. Australian athletes at the Paris 2024 Olympics have outperformed the Kalgoorlie Super Pit in gold production this year. Australia’s Olympians have secured an impressive 12 gold medals, spanning events from swimming to cycling. The gold rush...

Local Man’s BYD Locks Doors And Speeds Toward Nearest Power Pole After He Joked About Chinese Doping

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local man's BYD Atto 3 reportedly locked its doors and accelerated towards the nearest power pole after he made a joke about Chinese doping at the Paris Olympics. The car only swerved away at the last moment when the driver issued a panicked apology and praised the Chinese Communist Party. Jake Thompson, a 32-year-old...

BMW Continued Never-Ending Quest To Build The Ugliest Car Known To Man

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact German marque BMW has unveiled next years models this morning at the Betoota Auto Expo which has left many in the wider Diamantina automotive community wondering if this was all part of some 'candid camera' type reality TV show. "Surely not," said Wade Overell of the Overell Motorgroup, which has exclusive license to sell BMWs...

Sober Barnaby Completes Solo Trek Through The Warrumbungles

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Member for New England Barnaby Joyce completed a solo hike through some of the toughest terrain in New South Wales over the weekend, which saw him summit Mount Exmouth at sunrise in the hope that he'd have some sort of spiritual awakening. At over 1200m above sea level, climbing Mount Exmouth is no joke, especially...

Canberrans Hold Massive Protest Against City’s Over-Tourism Crisis

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In an unprecedented show of unity, over 20,000 Canberrans took to the streets yesterday to protest the city's booming tourism industry, which locals claim is wreaking havoc on their quiet, suburban lifestyle. Chanting slogans like "From Gungahlin to Tharwa, Canberra will go unda! " and "Our Roundabouts, Our Rules!" the demonstrators highlighted issues such as...

Gen X Homeowner Has A Stupid Job Like Acting Or Picture Framing

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Local basket-weaver Sam Clifford lives in a three-bedroom house in the French Quarter, despite working in what many younger people in town consider low-income, low-value jobs like acting and picture framing. Clifford's acting resume is extensive, including roles such as "Motorist" on Blue Heelers, "Suspicious Neighbour" on Water Rats, "Man With Cold" on A Country...

Queenslander Tells Stupid Pommie Colleague That He Feels His Pain After Controversial Origin Loss

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Local man Seve Thompson extended an uncharacteristic olive branch to his stupid English colleague, Nigel Harris, after both men experienced devastating sporting losses over the weekend. Thompson, an ethnic Queenslander and staunch Maroons supporter, was still reeling from the recent State of Origin decider, where New South Wales clinched a hard-fought 14-4 victory in Brisbane...

Cooler Weather Transforms City Worker Into A Dark Beer Guy

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As temperatures in the wider Diamantina begin to drop, a curious transformation is taking place at the town's beloved watering hole, The Dapper Platypus. Local office worker, Tom Mitchell, has officially traded in his light, summery lagers for rich, robust dark beers, marking a seasonal shift that seems to sweep through Betoota every winter. Tom,...

Melbourne’s Derrimut Fire Voted Most Liveable Toxic Blaze In The World

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Derrimut factory fire has been voted the most liveable toxic blaze in the world. This accolade adds to Melbourne's reputation, often hailed as one of the most liveable cities globally by the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU). The fire, which began with an explosion at a chemical factory on Swann Drive in Derrimut, has engulfed...

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