IN-Focus

Federal Government Announces Emergency Deployment Of Cotton Farmers To Dry Out Townsville

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Federal Government has today announced a flood relief package, including hundreds of blue blood North NSW cotton farmers, to help with clean up efforts in Townsville The news that flash flooding has once again hit Townsville and its surrounding towns has rattled the deep North overnight, as emergency...

Greig Pickhaver Reflects On Life Being Both HG Nelson And Former Victorian Premier Jeff Kennett

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact If you've ever sat back on the couch and wondered why you've never seen former Victorian Premier Jeff Kennett and the unsinkable HG Nelson in the same room, think no more. The comedian behind both of those timeless and much-loved characters has opened up today about a lifetime spent in the Victorian Parliament and the...

Moment Of Deep Introspection During Drive Home Brought On By The Cars “Drive”

INGRID DOULTON | Growing Old | Contact A largely invisible and self-loathingly meek city worker said his drive home to Betoota Heights tonight was punctuated by The Cars' 1984 classic 'Drive' which allowed him to have a moment of 'deep introspection'. It was in those 3 minutes and 54 seconds of genre-defining New Wave/Post-Punk that Derek Copeland was able to identify the...

Time-Rich Stefanovic Boys Turn Their Twin Beds Into A Bunk

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Peter Stefanovic and his charmingly sunburnt older brother Karl has told the media this week that they're stepping away from the Today Show after a long time to focus on other things and explore opportunities elsewhere. One of those other opportunities, according to Peter, lies within the walls of the Eastern Sydney bolthole. Speaking to the...

Why Saying “Yeah Righto…” Followed By An Unflattering Lookalike Is The Ultimate Burn

JAMIE HOTTAKE | Outrage | CONTACT There's been a lot of talk about toxic masculinity lately. In fact, as an opinion writer for an online news publication who grew up between two separate but extraordinarily well-off households (after my parent's divorce, yeah, it sucked) and went to a prestigious strict single-sex private school, Toxic Masculinity seems to be all I can ever write...

Social Media Manager Stresses Over Report No One Will Read

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT It was a busy first week of the month for social media manager Lizzy Dowling (28) who spent a continuous 96-hour stretch stressing out over a report no one will read. With a degree in Communications worth slightly less than the paper it is printed on (plus a debt that will last until her 50s) Dowling fell into...

Local Woman Just Not Pulling Off The AirPods

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact In a bid to modernise her look, Betoota Cove woman, Jacinta Fraser (27), last week paid $230 AUD for a pair of Apple AirPods. However, the reception from her friendship circle and work colleagues is a fair indicator that her brand upgrade just isn’t working. According to one friend, Jacinta just looks like a massive spoon. “I don’t know what she...

Morrison Sports Von Dutch Trucker Hat In Latest Attempt To Distract Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister was seen wearing a Von Dutch trucker hat this morning in Canberra as he looks to distract the nation from the dubious anti-encryption laws that both he and Bill Shorten passed earlier this week. In addition to that, Scott Morrison's government is set to be the first government in almost 90 years to have legislation knocked...

Man Unfit To Operate Barbecue Posts Picture With Baby Niece

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A small town social media bubble has been swept with an eerie silence today as social media user Darren Noble (32) uploaded a picture of himself holding his baby, niece despite the fact he cannot even be trusted to operate a barbecue. Despite holding down a job as a full-time drummer, Noble has somewhat of a reputation in...

Orange Juice Wages War On Freshly Brushed Teeth

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The United Nations is under pressure to officially condemn orange juice after the fruit beverage launched a vicious attack on a set of freshly brushed teeth. In the developing situation, incompetent university student Jamie Dwyer (19) received a brutal strike attack to his freshly brushed teeth after swigging a mouthful of orange juice directly from a bottle that...

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