IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights high school student has proven to those around him this week that he's capable of taking a bit of initiative. Rather than sit in the back seat of a poo-brown VE Commodore wagon and be subjected to the beige delights of Crowded House for hours on end, young Alex Fraser decided to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A recent graduate in the private asset management deal at AMP Betoota has used the power of a new pair of deal sleds to land his first private client today as the pair headed to a local Chinese restaurant to celebrate the new relationship. Often described as the McDonalds of Australian financial services, AMP's private...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local farmer spent yesterday evening watching the first couple episode of Clarkson's Farm after being told he'd like it by his city worker son. This morning, 75-year-old beef producer Dennis Coleman confirmed to The Advocate that his new favourite genre of television is useless people trying to do things he's good at. "It's the funniest...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactMarried at First Sight producers have this year truly outdone themselves, by rounding up some of the most misogynistic, emotionally abusive wank stains Australia has to offer. An inside source reveals that a majority of the grooms were actually discovered in real life, including Jesse, who was spotted busking as street magician in Murray Street mall and Shannon, who...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A young large unit from out town's aspirational Heights area cast his vote for deep-dish pizza over the weekend, telling the other mates at the sleep over that it'd be funny. Despite his best efforts, young Elwood Overell was left disappointed after his fancy mates voted unanimously for the inferior Thin N Crispy. Elwood, the youngest...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn a surprise twist of events, the ‘Chinese spy balloon’ shot down off a US eastern coastline is discovered to have been an elaborate stunt, after crowds at Myrtle Beach report seeing a spray of pink cascading into the ocean. Though the US government had been quick to report it as a Chinese spy device, it can be revealed that...

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTThis one is personal for me. And I trust that my fellow AirBnB Hosts can find value in the tradecraft I offer up here. Tradecraft I’ve honed through trial and painstaking error. What are the best ways to punish guests who fail to carry out your outrageous demands? Well, you’ll know which guests are the...

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTHere in Betoota real estate laws dictate that leasing agents are not permitted to solicit or invite a person to offer more than the advertised rent. For good reason. With Betoota’s low rental vacancy rates, hundreds of would-be tenants are showing up to every open inspection. With all that competition, some are taking it upon...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite young lefties having a sook that the Red Hot Chilli Peppers (who are playing the Russ Hinze Bowl tonight in the French Quarter) have only been playing their new stuff and extremely old stuff, a Sydney grandfather last night got his crump on after one of the deep cuts brought candid memories back...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Reserve Bank Chief Philip Lowe says he's only playing the hand life's given him as he struggles to kill the inflation beast with interest rate hikes. In an effort to make sure the Liberals kept the property conga line going for investors, state and territory governments and ageing homeowners, the Reserve Bank put off hiking...