IN-Focus

Gladys Calls On Yuppies Who Ruined Sydney To Keep Snitching On Old Greeks Blokes Playing Cards

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has called on the human sewerage that have spilled out of the Sydney Eastern Suburbs into the Inner West to keep on snitching on elderly people flouting the new lockdown restrictions. Thousands and thousands of Gen X yuppie dogs and their Boomer masters have moved into suburbs such as Marrickville in...

Nation’s Only Liberal Leaders Join Forces To Ruin Everything Once Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia's only Liberal leaders have come together today to turn what could've been a mild inconvenience into something that's going to fuck the economy even further and ruin the lives of millions. Scott Morrison, a part-time Prime Minister and his New South Welsh counterpart Gladys Berejiklian, are the direct cause for this latest lockdown in...

Joeys Boy Has Phone, Wallet Stolen And Pfeiffer Jab Sucked Out Of His Arm By Group Of Eshays

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the kids who got the preferred jab the other day in Sydney has had it sucked out of his arm in a brazen daylight attack at a Sydney train station. The boy alleges he was set upon by a group of Eshays, which The Advocate believes to be some sort of street gang...

Malcolm And Barnaby Get Their Cayman Island Credit Cards Mixed Up After Overdue Pub Session

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Earlier this week, former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and former Deputy Prime Minister turned Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce met up at a Hunter Valley pub to finally bury the hatchet and move on. The long overdue pub session took place at the Royal in Murrurundi near where Turnbull has owned prime fattening country in...

Albo Finds Himself Day Dreaming About His Weekend Plans Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Opposition leader Anthony Albanese is in Queensland at the moment but this weekend, he says, he's got his Marrickville Californian bungalow to himself and he and Toto are going to have themselves a time. Attending a press conference this morning with Labor's candidate for Bowman, Donisha Duff, the Member for Grayndler explained that he's excited...

Politicians Obviously Not Too Concerned Their Sons Are Being Vaccinated Over Aged Care Workers

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The New South Wales Health Minister told journalists this morning that they need to build a bridge and get over the fact that a bunch of private schoolboys got the precious Michelle Pfeiffer jab because it's already happened and he doesn't have a time machine to go back and stop it from happening. "It happened,...

Coward Reserve Bank Simps To Property Investors Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Reserve Bank of Australia has agreed to keep interest rates almost non-existent for another quarter which should make sure property investors see another increase in the value of their asset. By keeping interest rates low, the projected increase in the value of capital city property will only freeze more and more young Australians out...

“35 Cases? How Did This Happen?” Says Sydney Man Who Went To IKEA, Messina And Bondi Yesterday

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Sydney man is today wondering why in Blue Christ the city has recorded a further 35 cases after spending the weekend running all over town for reasons some might deem to be unessential. Myles Tanner, who lives near one of those overrated beaches down there, told our reporter via telephone that he went to...

Kid Asks Parent What It Was Like In The Olden Days When Politicians Were Accountable For Their Actions

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In Machattie Park yesterday, a local teenager asked his dad what it was like in the olden days when politicians used to be accountable for their actions. "But Dad, you keep saying that they're lying and that they made mistakes which have cost hundreds of lives," said the kid. "Like how the Head of Government Relations...

Albo Shoots Gun Indiscriminately Into Crowd During Press Club Address To Get Some Air Time

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The media blackout of the Opposition continues today even after leader Anthony Albanese fired 12 rounds into the Press Club audience in an effort to gain some media coverage of the speech. Six people are currently fighting for life in various Canberra and Sydney hospitals this evening after being hit by stray bullets fired from...

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