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Dutton Says Cricket’s Global Governing Body Has Absolutely No Right To Cast Judgement On Israel

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A furious Peter Dutton has today taken to the media to call for drastic action. The nation's Opposition Leader has demanded that Australia boycott the upcoming T20 World Cup and leave the ICC. Dutton made the staggering claims this morning, after what he says were 'outrageous comments' from the International Cricket Council. The Opposition leader has explained his...

Unable To Get Any Ozempic? This 1 Simple Meal Can Help You Quickly Shed All Those Pesky Kilos

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Tired of not being able to lose weight? Sick of looking at those pesky kilos in the mirror? Frustrated that you can't get your hands on a drug manufactured to help people with a diagnosed medical condition? Annoyed you aren't a celebrity who can take the drug out of the hands of people who need it? Well, a...

Telstra To Replace 2800 Sacked Workers With 10 Gun Call Centre Operators In The Philippines

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A day after sacking 10% of its workforce, Telstra has kept the hits coming with a big news reveal today. The nation's most loved and respected telecommunications provider has revealed that those sacked workers will actually improve the company moving forward. "We've hired 10 absolute superstar call centre operators in Manilla to pick up the slack of the...

Housing Crisis Solved By Banning 1300 Foreign Investments A Year And Not Touching Negative Gearing Or Capital Gains Tax Concessions

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The overwhelming majority of the nation is today breathing a collective sigh of relief. That huge exhalation comes off the back of the Prime Minister, the Opposition Leader and the media class of Australia agreeing that foreign investment is to blame for our housing crisis. The media and political class have weirdly come to an agreement on the...

Extremely Well Run And Affordable Telco Cuts 2800 Jobs To Make Service Even Better!

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Australia's favourite telecommunications network has piped up with its quarterly reminder of why it holds such a special place in the nation's hearts. Telstra has hit the headlines today with a national story, weirdly not centring around national outages, price gouging of customers or dodgy business practices. The telco has confirmed that it is firing a tenth of...

Optimistic Perth Man Declares The West Coast Reidbuild Officially Complete

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A man from the Far Western outpost of Perth has this week offered an official statement on the fortunes of the region's favourite sons. The Nedlands man by the name of Jusitn Bancroft says the relatively dark days of the West Coast Eagles are finally over. "The Reidbuild is officially complete mate," said Bancroft in the his weird...

Soccer Franchise With The Same GDP As Eastern Europe Celebrates Miracle Premiership

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Manchester City, a club with a financial stockpile rivaling that of small nations, has miraculously clinched yet another Premier League title, while spending the same amount of money that Montenegro did on their military this decade. As jubilant City fans took to the streets to celebrate their team's triumph, many couldn't help but marvel at what a miracle it...

Boomer Who’s Spent Years Complaining About Cancel Culture Agrees Gina’s Portrait Should Be Taken Down

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A member of Betoota's Prestigious Royal Betoota Golf Club has this weekend had an interesting change of tune. Famous for advocating for the golden days where you could apparently say and do anything you wanted, Grahame Baggley has now decided that it shouldn't be open slater on freedom of speech and expression. Baggley has taken to his circles...

Light On The Hill Finally Extinguished As Labor Announces Tax Breaks And Subsidies For Billionaires, Property Investors And The Resources’ Sector

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Labor Party has this week finally made the decision to extinguish the flame that burns inside them. Fuelled by a historic tenacity and grit pioneered by early contestants like Ben Chifley, Gough Whitlam and Julia Gillard, the Labor Party has decided to put out the flame that drives them in the arena of politics. The decision was...

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