Hilton Valet Gets To Take A 75 LandCruiser For A Spin As Luke Combs Fans Roll Into Town
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A metropolitan man is discovering the glorious grunt of a farm workhorse this week as he assists some customers from out of town.
Declan McKensie-Jones (30) is used to spending his days driving an array of BMWs and Mercedes, as he valets cars for rich boomers from the Southern Highlands who come to stay at the Sydney...
Sydney Matildas Fan’s Heartbreak Soothed By Unexpected 3 Hour Catch Up With 100,000 Closest Mates
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local Sydney man is today savouring a night to remember.
Campbell Towns, a resident of the nation's shittest city has today spoken to The Advocate about the once in a life time experience that was watching his national team play in the semi-final of a major tournament.
"It was incredible," sighed the glassy eyed Towns this morning....
Jetstar Advertise $109 Flights To Tokyo Providing You Leave During A Specific Week in March At 2am In 2027
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
The nation’s most unreliable airline Jetstar is being reprimanded this evening after pulling the handbrake on a local girl’s dream holiday.
After spotting a Jetstar ad on the side of a bus spruiking $109 flights to Japan, local girl Kayley Middlestone (34) has been thinking she’ll finally get her chance to wander the streets of Tokyo and...
Coles & Woolies Employ Some Real Estate Agents To Improve Reputation During Cost Of Living Crisis
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In an era that has proved that eye-gouging might be preferable to price gouging, Australia's two biggest supermarkets are having to dive to new depths to improve their image.
About as beloved as Howard-era ‘No Hat No Play’ laws, Coles and Woolies have responded to the cost of living crisis with excessive price increases that have contributed to the...
Pauline Yet To Realise A Political Party Founded On Bigotry And Discrimination Doesn’t Attract The Best Quality Blokes
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The nation's voice of reason is today grappling with another frustrating political curveball.
Pauline Hanson, the woman who says what 'everyone's thinking' but only 5% of people vote for, has today had to boot another deadshit from a position in her party.
Speaking to media today, the leader of One Nation confirmed that she has kicked Mark Latham...
Matildas v France The Biggest TV Audience Since That Episode Of Neighbours Where Toadie Drove Dee Off The Cliff Immediately After Marrying Her
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As the dust settles on a historic weekend for the nation, the true extent of the Matildas win over France is being realised.
With millions tuning in around the nation, the quarter final against France was officially confirmed as the most watched sporting event since Cathy Freeman won gold at the Sydney Olympics.
On top of that incredible...
Brisbane On Low Power Mode After A Big Weekend Of Tillies, Combsy And Ekka
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The capital of the great state of Queensland is currently licking it's wounds, it can be confirmed today.
After one of the largest weekends in modern history, Brissy has switched itself to 'Low Power Mode' today.
For those android users who often get forgotten by media organisations and popular culture, Low Power Mode is the iPhone function that...
Genius Diplomat Scott Morrison’s 2 Year Submarine Mind Games Finally Pay Off
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The history books are currently being altered this weekend, after a momentous 130ish minutes in Brisbane last night.
With the nation tuning into the second most viewed sporting event in the last few decades, confirmation has come through that Scott Morrison was a genius all along.
A couple of years after upsetting the French by refusing to give...
True Crime Podcast Girlfriend Feels Bad, But She Low Key Wouldn’t Mind A Murder In Her Building
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A young woman from Betoota Heights has today confirmed to The Advocate that she is a little bit of a sicko.
Bridget Sampson, a fully qualified professional who owns a little three bedder with her long term boyfriend and has her shit well and truly together explained that she does have a little bit of a dark side.
“I’m a...
Opinion | Are You A Bloke Against Women’s Sports? Here’s How To Fill That Vacant Two Hour Slot In Your Calendar This Saturday Night While Everyone Else Has Fun
MARIO STRADLATER | Softboi | Contact
Are you looking at a night on your own because your weird socio-political stance is distancing you from the rest of the country who wants to see our girls torch the French? Well, you’re in luck. Here’s five things you can do to fill the 2 hour slot in your calendar this Saturday Night.
Re-read your copy Of Jordan...
