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Local Woman Not Sure If She’s Found The One Or Its The First Time She’s Been Treated With Basic Dignity

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT As she stares at the sleeping body lying next to her, local woman Jayde Thompson briefly entertains the idea that she may have found the one. You see, after a string of nice dates filled with witty banter and courteous behaviour, Jayne has found herself feeling something she’s never...

Public Wary Of Hastily Developed Vaccine They Demanded Be Developed Hastily

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact A new report commissioned by the Department of Health has found that a growing number of Australians don’t trust the quickly developed vaccine that they wanted to be developed so quickly. “I won’t let them poke that needle anywhere near me,” said aspiring Instagram celebrity Ingrid Selene....

Awkward Armpit Sniff Definitely Noticed By Hot Colleague

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT In a bid to use fewer chemicals and be more eco-friendly, Chelsea Cunningham says she’s made the switch from her trusty antiperspirant to a natural deodorant. The tea tree roll-on stick, which she hastily bought at Priceline for a ridiculous price, has reportedly done little to mask...

Nats Prepare For Leadership Spill As The Tamworth Cattle Dog Gets That Crazy Look In His Eyes

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT As the last remaining major party that can still oust their leader at any given moment, it seems the National Party are gearing up for another spill. First cab off the rank is former leader and cold-blooded political phoenix, Barnaby Joyce MP, who appears to be making moves...

Nation’s Jobless Urged To Leave City And Find Work In Rural Towns With Huge Unemployment Rates

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Get up off the couch and get a job you lazy bludger! That's the message to 'lounge lizards' in the city from the highly paid welfare recipient who is standing in as the Prime Minister of this country this week. Leaning into the 'if...

“She’ll Be Right,” Says Government As Efficacy Of AstraZeneca Jab Called Is Into Question

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Claims that the Oxford/AstraZeneca vaccine is only around 63% effective are unfounded and don't worry, she'll be right, according to the government. Speaking this morning in Canberra, Health Minister Greg Hunt and the nation's cheif medical officer Professor Paul Kelly said there's nothing to be...

Brisbane Families Finally Reunite After Gruelling 72 Hour Lockdown

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT The Brisbane lockdown has been lifted! As the clock strikes 6:00pm Queensland time tonight, with no new cases reported, the people of the River City are free! "This is the best news we could have hoped for, absolutely the best news," Ms Palaszczuk.

Man Devastated By Test Results After Which Friends Character Are You Quiz Reveals He’s Monica

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact At some point each one of us will come face to face with devastating results after a test. For some it’s a doctor quietly explaining a blob on an x-ray; for others it’s a DNA test that didn’t say what it was supposed to.

Local Women Horrified To Discover She’s Moved Up An Age Bracket

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local woman Lisa Verrier thought she’d be able to score some extra cash by completing online surveys but has quickly found the process is simply not worth the $5 fuel voucher. It’s alleged the twenty-five-year-old had racked up quite the serious credit card debt and was looking for...

Local Bachelor Pretty Sure There Is Unfinished Business Between Him And Year 9 GF

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Reflecting on himself during the working-from-home early mark he has given himself every Friday, local bachelor Keilan Cobb sipped a mid-strength beer on his Old City District balcony where no one but the walls of the wheat-works turned apartments could see him. To an onlooker Cobb may appear to...

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