Breaking News

Man Who Spent Final Days Of Political Career Supporting A Convicted Rock Spider Finds Purpose

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An unemployed Northern Beaches aristocrat who fell from the graces of the highest elected official in Australia - to losing the safest Liberal seat outside of Cronulla in the space of four years, has today found purpose. After an early political career spent running coffees for John Howard, Tony...

Bushfire Update: Emergency Services Set Up Safe Zone For Torching Over-Insured Motor Vehicles

FRANKIE DeGROOT | NSW | CONTACT As bushfire season heats up, firefighters are taking no chances to prevent the infernos of previous years, even though the initial signs point to this being the worst of all time. Which politicians are now reluctantly saying might have something to do with the climate changing or something.

Barnaby Joyce Found To Be One Of Very Few Pro-Life Protestors To Not Struggle Getting A Root

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Recently vocal pro-life campaigner former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce appears to be the only anti-abortion advocate who likes to have sex for the pleasure it brings his private parts, according to a recent report by the normal citizens people walking past the Hyde Park protests on the weekend.

Bloke Referring To Triple J As ‘The Js’ Not Fucking Around

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT 11 am at the Betoota Railway Tavern beer garden on a Thursday you are likely to find local doesn’t-have-to-work guy Phil Crumb (43) in a balancing act of trying to act as hard as possible and trying to look like he doesn’t give a shit. It is believed at...

Mate Finishes Phone Call Without A Goodbye Like He’s James Bond Or Something

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Local phone user Ashely Field is suspicious her busy friend might actually be a secret agent after they ended a phone call without saying goodbye. Field’s conversation with friend Kaine Newton came to an abrupt end while Field was confirming weekend plans. “I said ‘so I’ll...

Chinese Liberal MP With Close Ties To Chinese Spy Agencies Might Be A Bit Suss, Says Racists

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time since Josh Frydenberg's citizenship status was brought into question during the 2017 Australian parliamentary eligibility crisis, the Liberal Party has today put their foot down and said that racism is NOT okay. This comes as the Member for Chisholm, Gladys Liu MP, faces accusations of...

Local Dad Carefully Rations Out Mint Slices Like Soviet Food Coupons

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local dad, Clive Gasnier (55) isn't fucking around when it comes to his treasured mint slices. That means, one is enough for you, and it's none of ya business how many he has because he paid for them and no one even knew they were in the fridge until...

Cash Only Cafe Files Reasonably Punctual And Accurate Tax Statement

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local small Italian Cafe/Restaurant in Betoota's French Quarter has shocked the ATO today. Barely two months since the end of the financial year, Il Grassa Chode has just filed reasonably accurate tax documents. In a piece of admin that has left many at...

Vegan Protestors Step Up The Activism By Storming Pubs And Chaining Themselves To Buck Hunter

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Vegan protestors have caused havoc around the country again this afternoon. Pubs across the nation are currently in crisis mode after a number of protestors chained themselves to their Buck Hunter machines. The activism immediately followed the announced that Labor would be supporting the...

Concerning Report Finds Australian Kids Now On Par With Irish Lollipop Ladies For Screen Time

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A majority of Australian children are spending more than the recommended daily limit for screen time, that's according to a new report by the Australian Institute of Family Studies. At 4–5 years old, Australian children are averaging more than NBN-contractors per week-day. By 6-7 years old, this increases to...

Social

671,739FansLike
478,393FollowersFollow
39,065FollowersFollow

Breaking News