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Mum Buoyed By Daughter’s Importance After Being Told Again She’s In A Meeting And Can’t Speak

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Local mum Trudy Adams is just so proud of her daughter, Anna, who works for Betoota’s biggest finance firm, Peters&Sons&Partners. According to Trudy, Anna works really hard and is a real asset to the company. When asked how she knows the inner workings of the firm and...

60 Minutes Has A Crack At Airing Something Other Than Raw Interviews With Unstable C-Listers

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some genuinely shocking news, 60 Minutes, the former flagship current affairs program on Channel 9 has broadcast some actual journalism this week. The return to form came last night, as the program detailed allegations of branch stacking against Victorian Labor MP Adam Somyurek, and broadcast some...

Job Application Quickly Discarded After Website Requires Manually Filling In Resume

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT As if job searching wasn’t stressful enough some companies have reportedly made the process 10 x harder with the use of online forms. Selina Newell, a disgruntled job seeker, tells our reporter that she’s seriously thinking of just getting back into hospo, as she’s absolutely had it with technology.

Dutton Enjoys Laxed Rules By Inviting Cousin Over For Chess

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With social interactions now permitted in every state, citizens and MPs alike are rejoicing at the opportunity to have a friendly visit without having to pretend it never happened. One such person taking advantage of these relaxed rules is Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton who was reportedly spotted enjoying...

Opinion: Sorry Lefties, Your Precious Willy Wonka Is A Conservative

HARVEY THOMAS | Outrage | CONTACT There is no LIE I know to compare to pure imagination. The destruction of historical figures seems to be the lifeblood of the radical left as they give themself brownie points and participation awards for the desecration of monuments to men of history whose slave trading is not deemed...

Inner-City Woman Loses Another Friend To Lactose Intolerance

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT French Quarter resident Elise Cosgrove (29) continues to learn how unfair life can be as she loses another friend to lactose intolerance. A chronic disease that can be lifelong, lactose intolerance symptoms include bloating, gas and diarrhoea following the consumption of dairy. For Cosgrove and those...

NSW Police Officer Cheers Himself Up After Tough Week By Moving On Some Homeless People

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After a pretty full-on few days, a local steroid abuser turned NSW Police Officer has today treated himself to a little bit of self-indulgence. Following some scrutiny for the behaviour of his colleagues, stemming from a clear culture which perpetuates behaviour like slamming a defenceless 17-year-old Indigenous teen...

Shop Assistant Holding Temperature Gun To Customer’s Head Really Enjoying New Responsibility

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact There are few things in this world that bring us close to that feeling of taking someone’s life, but as we’re told in movies “there’s nothing quite like that feeling of power.” Whether or not any sane person wants to know what that feels like, one shop assistant...

ABC Journo Shocked To Learn Horse Racing Has Been Going On This Entire Time

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In what came as a real kick in the stomach this morning, an ABC journalist has been informed that horse racing has been operating across the nation for the last few months. Despite the nation grinding to a stop as a result of the whole coronavirus thing, with...

Uncle Tony Also Tipped To Win Nobel Prize For Selfless Protection Of Refugees And Environment

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT This year's Queen's Birthday Honours List has been announced, with former prime minister Tony Abbott awarded the top honour of Companion of the Order of Australia. The Prominent Northern Beaches elder was finally recognised today for his eminent service to the people and Parliament of Australia, particularly as Prime...

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