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Vic Government Begin Experiments To Stop Trees Changing Colour To Keep Amateur Photographers Home

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Even as Australian states start to draw up timelines to wind back lockdown restrictions, it seems the message is still not getting through to amateur photographers, who continue to breach the restrictions in a neverending quest for pictures of autumn leaves. “We can’t physically restrain them” said Victorian Premier...

Novak Djokovic Urgently Contacts Pete Evans After Coronavirus Diagnosis

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Men's world number one tennis player Novak Djokovic has frantically picked up the phone this morning after being diagnosed with Covid-19. The tennis star who contracted the disease after setting up a tournament, which also gave a handful of other stars, and plenty more staff the virus, explained...

Local Woman Experiences Unprecedented Bout Of Panic After Accidentally Viewing Ex’s Instagram Story

EFFIE BATEMAN | Local News | Contact Local woman Jemma Benson reckons she’s doing a good job avoiding her ex on social media and proudly admits that she only checks his relationship status ‘once every two months or so.’ Though she leaves out the fact she regularly looks up his entire family and friendship...

Local Woman’s Winter Sun Tan Far Less Enviable After The Sunnies Come Off

EFFIE BATEMAN | Local News | Contact In what may be the cruelest twist of fate yet, local woman Amanda Doyle has discovered that her enviable winter sun tan, is in fact, just an illusion. The melanin challenged young woman had reportedly been catching some rays on her apartment rooftop when she’d spied her thighs...

Prince Philip Celebrates 99th Day Without Saying Something Racist

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Anticipation is in the air at Buckingham Palace today as Prince Philip reaches 99 consecutive days without being caught saying something racist. The duke, who turned 99 on June 10, has long been criticised for his comments which range from a bit suss, to outright offensive; if anyone other than...

Discrimination: Medieval Fairs Still Waiting For Government To Re-Open Up The Damn Jousting

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Restrictions put in place to stop the spread of COVID-19 continue to be relaxed by state and federal governments allowing visits to the pub, football and public spaces to become commonplace again. As life returns to normal one group states they feel left behind as they receive no indication...

Report: Gorn Then

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report into Western Australia's public transport system has found that if you think you can racially abuse a 63-year-old in public without facing immediate repercussions, well gorn then. This comes after Aussie TV legend and proud Yamatji actor Ernie Dingo had to do what a man's gotta...

Toowoomba Council Defends Controversial Mussolini Statue

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact A statue of fascist dictator Mussolini in Toowoomba has again drawn the fury of protestors, with council crews forced to remove graffiti for the third time this week. The imposing bronze statue, situated in Queen’s Park, was erected in late 1934 to commemorate Mussolini’s 300 games at Toowoomba’s...

National Party Prepares For Leadership Spill As Barnaby Rips Into His 9th Schooner Over Lunch

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The National Party is reportedly preparing for yet another leadership spill, as former Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce makes a dash towards his 9th schooner threshold over lunch today. 'The 9th schooner threshold' is most commonly known as the pivotal moment in a pub session when drunken patrons officially declare...

Flakey Dad Sentenced To 6 Months Of Installing Child Car Seats

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Australia’s single mothers have applauded Betoota Local Court Judge Colin DeBois, who this week handed down an unusual sentence for notoriously flaky dad Darren Leer. Father of 4 Leer, who owes tens of thousands of dollars in Child Support payments and hasn’t seen any of his kids in months, appeared shocked...

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