Breaking News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact US President Joe Biden has hosed down concerns that Australians are getting a raw deal with the submarines, telling media in the US that the first three 'second-hand' boats that our Navy are getting will hold their value like a 300-series LandCruiser. The President said on Tuesday that the first three submarines to be purchased...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Reserve Bank of Australia (RBA) has revealed that they've changed the toner cartridge in their money printer ahead of the arrival of a new submarine invoice from the British and US Governments. According to insiders, the federal government has been pressuring the RBA to print more money to pay for the controversial submarine project,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local aviation enthusiast has pointed out to The Advocate that the pejorative term 'Airbus Albo' is actually technically incorrect because while he does use an Airbus for some overseas travel, he often uses another make altogether. Damien Lee is often found at Shepherd's Mount, close to the Remienko Memorial Aerodrome on our town's southern...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has today spoken to The Betoota Advocate about the good life he's currently living. The recently employed architect here in Betoota's Old City District told us that thanks to a new full time job, he's enjoy currently the perks of his labour. Ripping into a 6 dollar sushi roll from the budget hole in the wall...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has taken a trip across the Pacific Ocean to address the United States naval top brass on the controversial issue of Australia's recent acquisition of nuclear submarines. Despite being a self-proclaimed "man of the people," Albo seemed to be singing a different tune during his speech to the Americans. "I want to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australian boxing now has it's very own Mayweather Family, as the prodigal son Tim Tszyu emerges as the interim WBO super welterweight world champion - in a hometown victory that comes 28 years after his father Kostya knocked out Jake Rodriguez at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Tim was only two months old when his old man captured...

JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact Victorian key forward Ethan Wilson has officially became the nation’s top young AFL talent after he was selected as pick #1 in the 2023 AFL draft by the GWS Giants.  In what was a complex, mega trade deal between multiple AFL clubs, the Giants are beyond happy to have the elite young player join their ranks. “We’ve struggled...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With a Flexi Friday at his mercy, Betoota Heights man Aaron Shoop has spent the morning adding some touches to his greatest artwork. "This is my sistine chapel," explained the young father of two while crouching down and running his fingers over the perfectly cut 42 millimetre grass that makes up his lawn. "Isn't it a thing of...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A pair of Kooyong downsizers that moved into Richmond a few years ago are appalled at the Victorian Government's decision to make the Richmond Injecting Room a permanent fixture of the trendy inner-city suburb. Greg and Regina Greenslope told The Advocate that they are disappointed with the decision mainly because it brings people to Richmond...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT One of nation's supermarket duopoly have made a big media splash today, by revealing a huge marketing change. Famous for lying about selling affordable groceries to the nation, Coles have flipped their 'Down Down' marketing campaign on its head. "We've decided to just cut the shit," laughed the head of marketing at the supermarket giant. "To reflect inflation...