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WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man is today preparing to turn his life around after getting served up ads of KP and Bazlenka repping a new deodorant. Following one of the longer dry spells in his sharehouse, (so long that his mates no longer even joke about it) Brayden Williams says it’s time to get serious about getting back on the open...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A County Coogee resident has today delivered a firm verdict on a contentious issue. Up in the Channel Country visiting a high school mate from Kerry who has landed on a job site out on Betoota Plains Development Road, Conner Sheehan has explained what exactly it means to 'Split the G.' "No like, it's between the fucking Harp...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT International human rights group Survival International has today released another sensational batch of images, capturing the lifestyle of a remote group of people on Australian shores. They've released pictures and footage of Devonport tribespeople engaging in their remote and relatively uncaptured lifestyle. This follows Survival International capturing incredible images of the Mashco Piro, another uncontacted Indigenous tribe in...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A fancy la de da establishment in Betoota’s French Quarter is this week having a come to Jesus moment.  The culinary minds behind Le Voleur Moucheté have had the realisation today, that no matter how hard they try, they will never be able to replicate the beauty, the guile and the divinity of mum’s sumptuous curried sausages. A staple of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The State of NSW has today launched enquiries as to the whereabouts of a notable rugby league phenomena. Just hours after a historic win for the cockroaches at Lang Park, NSW has politely asked the state of Queensland (and the stupid out of state turncoats who go for them); "Where's ya Queensland spirit now ya dumb pricks." This...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The head honchos of Queensland Rugby League have this evening pulled off a sensational coup. In a stunning development from Caxton Street, just metres from the spiritual home of State of Origin, the allotted referee for tonight's game has been locked in at the Caxton Hotel. Set to take the whistle for the decider in the 2024 series,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Paul Keating has today offered up an interesting solution to a big headache for the Labor Party. The King of Privatising Public Assets has revealed that Labor Government should move to try and privatise the CFMEU. While the Construction, Forestry and Maritime Employees Union isn't actually owned by the government or Labor, the close relationship...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT After several hours of deep reflection and a natty wine, a local French quarter man has today been forced to admit that the Trump photo is pretty good sensational. From an artistic standpoint, of course. Amateur photographer Alastair Churchmary (31) is a proud progressive who has been living in the inner city since he was finally able to convince...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT An Englishmen living on Australian soil has reportedly just caught up on the news cycle, shockingly discovering that Donald Trump avoided an assassination attempt on Sunday! As Englishmen around the world spent the weekend absolutely obliterating beers in the lead up to the European Cup Final, many somehow went over 24 hours before finding out that their friends across...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT In an unprecedented move, Spain has deployed military forces to Ibiza, Majorca, Benidorm and several other Southern Spanish towns in response to a wave of upset British expats that have erupted following Spain's victory over England in the Euro Cup final. The normally tranquil Mediterranean resort towns, known for their pristine beaches and large British expat retiree populations have...