Breaking News

Country Town Hospital In Wine Region Not Struggling For Rural Placements

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The once-struggling Channel Country General Hospital in Bedourie is reportedly sorting through a backlog of thousands of rural placement requests. This follows the area's well-noted transformation from a sleepy fruit growing district into one of Western Queensland's most praised wine regions. As seen in Central West New South Wales, Southern Western Australia and most of the districts surrounding Adelaide -...

Cabbie Praised For At Least Mentioning Weather Before Launching Into “Fucking Uber” Rant

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local Taxi Driver is being lauded with praise today, after managing to squeeze in some weather conversation before launching into his Uber rant. The 52-year-old man from the Flightpath District named Peter Lee managed to pull off the feat a short time ago as he picked a passenger up from Betoota Airport. The cabbie of nigh on 30 years made...

Local Bushie Blows The Dust Off His Insta Stories After Being Invited Out On Someone’s Boat

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Judging by Tim Bearfoot’s tenth consecutive Instagram story this afternoon, he is on a boat. The stories have been a mixture of selfie videos and poorly framed wider contextual shots of the boat and its wake as he cruises around somewhere of the Queensland coast. This influx of sharing has come as a surprise to his followers as the young...

Local Woman Posts Heart-Warming Tribute To Dead Childhood Pet On Exclusively Human Medium

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Jane Harris (@ImStillJaneyFromTheBlock) is in mourning today after her childhood dog, Chester, was fatally bitten by a snake while out exploring on her family’s hobby farm. This tragedy was made known by a heart-warming tribute she posted for her dead pet on social media, a one hundred percent human exclusive medium. ‘Goodbye Chester, you were more than a dog, you...

Bottles Of Vitamins In Uber Cup Holders Hints At Imminent Pyramid Scheme Pitch

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact “Do you have any gum?” Kayla Wakefield asked her Uber driver. “No, I don’t have any gum, but I do have some cognitive enhancement supplements,” replied the driver. Not pausing for Kayla’s response and seemingly without drawing breath, the driver launched into a well-rehearsed sales pitch. “Have you seen the movie Limitless? Wouldn’t it be great if there was a pill...

PM Criticised For Not Reporting Possible Criminal Behaviour Within His Religious Community

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's first Pentecostal Christian Prime Minister has today been accused of sticking his head in the sand and not identifying clearly anti-social behaviour within his own religious community. Critics say they cannot understand how, as one of the 300,000 Australians that adhere to the renewal movement within Protestant Christianity, Morrison failed to report the actions of a man he...

Local Woman Immediately Regrets Saying Hello To Chirpy Senior Citizen While On Public Transport

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Claire Harris has found herself wishing she kept her mouth shut this morning after a conversation with an old codger on the bus has just entered its third round of questioning. It’s understood Claire made her first mistake when she politely greeted the old man as she sat down next to him, it was this simple greeting that opened...

Suit Thrown Into Existential Crisis After Being Asked To Tick ‘I’m Not A Robot’ Captcha Box

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local city worker has been thrown into a state of confusion and self-doubt this afternoon. The existential crisis came on after the finance sector employee named Jake Brailey was thrown a somewhat abstract curveball just moments ago. Sitting in the same seat he does every day in Betoota's Old City District the upper-middle-class white-collar male was confronted by an online...

Unemployed Mate Invites Charity Door Knockers Inside For A Billy

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Productivity was at an all-time low for local unemployed man Henry Stewart (20) who at approximately 11:30 am today invited a pair of charity door knockers inside to smoke a billy with him. With no job or other daytime commitments to fulfil, Stewart found himself with nothing to do other than decide whether he would spend his day committing...

Suit Listening To Kendrick With The Windows Down Wants You To Know He’s A Thinker

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Pedestrians in Betoota’s Old City District have been treated to the music of Compton rapper Kendrick Lamar, courtesy of Liam McKenzie who played the tunes from his car because he wants you to know he’s a bit of a thinker actually. The start-up merchant has recently been concerned that his public image is that of an uptight suit without...

Social

590,626FansLike
357,361FollowersFollow
28,338FollowersFollow

Breaking News