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Greta Wins Over Australian Media By Yelling Racist Taunts While Wearing Collingwood Scarf

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President Donald has taken a subtle jab at Swedish student activist, Greta Thunberg, just hours after her deeply emotional address to world leaders at the United Nations Climate Action Summit in New York. Ms Thunberg gave a powerful speech on Monday at the summit in which she accused...

Nation More Interested In How The Liberals Have Managed To Find 2 Women Under 80 Named Gladys

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Between attempted leadership spills and an alleged Chinese spy in the midst, the two Gladys’ in the Liberal Party are in a bit of hot water. However, fortunately for them, the nation doesn’t give a shit about what they’re doing, they’re more interested in how the fuck the...

Murdoch Sends Staff To Wet ‘n’ Wild For The Day To Avoid Accidentally Covering Climate Strikes

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Reporters for working for Australia's biggest media monoply have today been treated to an afternoon at Wet 'n' Wild, as their bosses fight tooth and nail to avoid publishing any news about a particular news story that seems to go against their owners ideology. That particular news story being...

Facebook Porn Bot’s Only Mutual Friend Surprisingly The Horniest Bloke In Social Circle

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact As everyone with half a brain knows, you just don’t accept follow or friend requests from hot chicks on social media. Not because they’re hot, but because they’re not real, they’re bots – or if they are real, chances are they added you by mistake.Despite having this knowledge, Brettly Rodman has...

Labor Says PM’s Dodgy Links To China Is Especially Worrying If No One Is Getting Paid

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Labor Party have today come out in criticism of the Morrison government for giving away favours and sensitive political information to a foreign government, without even making a buck Opposition leader Anthony Albanese has grilled the Liberal Party for allowing a spy into the federal lower house without...

Man Who Spent Final Days Of Political Career Supporting A Convicted Rock Spider Finds Purpose

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An unemployed Northern Beaches aristocrat who fell from the graces of the highest elected official in Australia - to losing the safest Liberal seat outside of Cronulla in the space of four years, has today found purpose. After an early political career spent running coffees for John Howard, Tony...

Bushfire Update: Emergency Services Set Up Safe Zone For Torching Over-Insured Motor Vehicles

FRANKIE DeGROOT | NSW | CONTACT As bushfire season heats up, firefighters are taking no chances to prevent the infernos of previous years, even though the initial signs point to this being the worst of all time. Which politicians are now reluctantly saying might have something to do with the climate changing or something.

Barnaby Joyce Found To Be One Of Very Few Pro-Life Protestors To Not Struggle Getting A Root

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Recently vocal pro-life campaigner former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce appears to be the only anti-abortion advocate who likes to have sex for the pleasure it brings his private parts, according to a recent report by the normal citizens people walking past the Hyde Park protests on the weekend.

Bloke Referring To Triple J As ‘The Js’ Not Fucking Around

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT 11 am at the Betoota Railway Tavern beer garden on a Thursday you are likely to find local doesn’t-have-to-work guy Phil Crumb (43) in a balancing act of trying to act as hard as possible and trying to look like he doesn’t give a shit. It is believed at...

Mate Finishes Phone Call Without A Goodbye Like He’s James Bond Or Something

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Local phone user Ashely Field is suspicious her busy friend might actually be a secret agent after they ended a phone call without saying goodbye. Field’s conversation with friend Kaine Newton came to an abrupt end while Field was confirming weekend plans. “I said ‘so I’ll...

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