Breaking News

Weeping Hedge Fund Billionaire Forced To Sell The Holiday House He’d Forgotten About

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The scales have tragically tipped in favour of the people as Redditors make history by actually achieving something this week. Over the last few days, Subreddit r/wallstreetbets managed to drive up the share price of US retail chain GameStop making big returns at the expense of billionaire hedge...

Scotty From Marketing Looking Forward To Mixing Politics And Sport Again This Winter

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With January 26th now in his rearview, the head of the Federal Government's marketing department says he's keen to 'rip back in.' Speaking exclusively with The Betoota Advocate today, the Bloke-In-Chief explained that he can't wait to wheel out his favourite piece of policy once again.

Anthropologists Unable To Identify What Aussie Proud Boys In American Sportswear Are Proud Of

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT As was confirmed yesterday in Melbourne's CBD, the Australian White Supremacy that has masked itself as working class patriotism for the last decade has once again taken the hood off. A man dressed in a top emblazoned with 'Proud Boys' was briefly detained by Victorian police on Tuesday, after...

Bar Introduces 10 Seconds Of Thinking Music For Indecisive Girlfriends

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Betoota’s fourth favourite watering hole, The Seventh Giggling Cosmonaut (formerly known as the Imperial Hotel) has incorporated a unique feature into the newly-renovated front bar, which is designed to speed up drink transactions.  “I couldn’t figure out why the bar line was moving so slowly” said owner Ivan...

Local Gen-Xer Celebrates 50th Birthday By Posting A Non-Ironic Minion Meme

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Local quilting enthusiast Sue Gravoy turned 50 on Thursday and marked the occasion with the traditional Gen-X symbolic Facebook posting of a non-ironic Minion meme.   Daughter Melissa was there for the historic coming-of-age moment when Sue carefully selected the allegedly funny meme and posted it to her...

Bloke Who Regularly Buys Pingers Off Strangers In Pub Bathrooms Not Sure What’s In This Vaccine

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A Betoota Heights local is a little suspicious of what’s in this COVID 19 vaccine, given the short time frame it’s been created in. Rob Quinn says he’s ‘not like an anti-vaxxer’ or anything, but he’s seen what happened in ‘I Am Legend’ and reckons the hastily developed...

Bloke Who Uses Cricket To Distract Nation From Bushfires Says Politics And Sport Don’t Mix

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Prime Minister has continued to chase the sugar hit he gets from saying deliberately inflammatory things, and today trotted out the phrase 'sport and politics don't mix.' Like a shared Facebook account with an Australian flag filter, the Big Fella in Chief has sought to shut down...

PM Says Arthur Phillip Wasn’t Having A Flash Day When He Decided To Pack The Guns And Smallpox

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today doubled down on his argument that the 26th of January is a day worth celebrating, by suggesting that every single person involved in the First Fleet was having a bad time. From the First Australians who were invaded, to the convicts who...

Did You Know? Most Countries Don’t Celebrate The Day They Were Invaded By Colonial Superpowers

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT No way! How weird's that? Bit of pub trivia ammo for ya there; most other countries who were invaded actually don't choose to have a national day of celebration on the day they were invaded by a colonial superpower. Unlike Australia,...

Farmer Who Was Crying About Drought On 4 Corners 12 Months Ago Now Googling New Landcruisers

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT "Easy tax write-off," laughs Graeme Thomas while he shows our reporter a picture of a brand new Landcruiser Sahara on his wife's iPad. "Obviously will make a few trips down to Yamba as well," winks the same man who was on TV a little while back talking about...

Social

754,864FansLike
603,780FollowersFollow
75,647FollowersFollow

Breaking News