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Uncle Tony X Converts To Islam While In Prison

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Uncle Tony Abbott has today backflipped on his previous comments about Muslim ideology, after being introduced to the teachings of the Koran by his cellmate, Spider. This comes after the newly-appointed Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs, Uncle Tony X was jailed without a trial on Saturday evening, on the charge of being out in public...

PM Says Uncle Tony May Lose Pre-Selection If He Doesn’t Stand For Anthem At Bunnies Match

A bold protest will hang over the South Sydney Rabbitohs as they attempt to keep their NRL premiership dreams alive in tonight’s semi-final against the St George Illawarra Dragons. This comes as former Prime Minister, and recent Bunnies die-hard Uncle Tony Abbott tweeted his support for Harper Nielsen, the 9-year-old Australian schoolgirl who refused to stand during the singing of the...

Prime Minister Morrison’s Media Advisor Now Looking For Work In Advertising

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following a nightmarish 24-hours on social media, the millennial Liberal staffer responsible for Prime Minister Morrison's 'Fatman Scoop' video meme, has popped up on LinkedIn looking for work in the advertising sector. The new Prime Minister’s Media advisor has enjoyed an even shorter tenure than some of the men and women before him. Just weeks into his exciting and...

Australian Strawberries ‘Find A Golden Needle’ Campaign Backfires

WENDELL HUSSEY | Editor | CONTACT Strawberries Australia is ducking for cover today after being plastered for their latest promotional campaign. In a spectacular marketing ploy, the peak Strawberries body has faced heavy criticism for it’s ‘Find A Golden Needle To Tour The Strawberry Factory’ competition that has made headlines. This comes after people around the country have sighted sewing needles inside their strawberries, with...

Uncle Tony Appears On Today Show To Condemn Mark Knight’s Gammin Cartoons

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Uncle Tony Abbott has today responded with shock and disgust over a cartoon depiction of tennis star Serena Williams which he has labelled “racist” and “sexist” - and worst of all "gammin". The image by Australian cartoonist Mark Knight has created uproar in the US with commentators saying it is an example of Australia’s “blind...

Dramatic Break-Up Now A Distant Memory After Dramatic New Haircut

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A popular local late 20s women has rolled the dice on the full G.I Jane haircut, despite not being 100% confident that she has the ears for it. Georgie Binney, a local interior designer from Betoota's Old City District, has today informed the world that she's moving on from the six-months of emotional turmoil that resulted in her...

Peter Dutton Appears In Controversial New Advertising Campaign For The Herald Sun

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "Believe that people in Melbourne are too scared to go to restaurants. Even if it means sacrificing everything." reads the billboards currently plastered around Melbourne's outer suburbs. It comes as Victorian masthead, The Herald Sun, decided to energise its "Just Read It" motto by using the face of Peter Dutton, the former Immigration Minister known as one of...

Millennial Spoils Self With Kilogram Of Prawns Marked As Brown Onions At Self Check Out

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For 23-year-old Jackson Kleist, it's not every day you get to live like a king. Occasionally the base-wage earning property manager will be treated to a bit of cocaine, free-of-charge, when his 62-year-old boss sells a tidy two-bedder for over three million. Occasionally, the bus driver will give him that 'I-didn't-see-anything' nod when his GoCard declines on the bus to...

Tony Abbott Starts Supporting The Rabbitohs And Calling Female Colleagues ‘Sis’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After days of hesitation, former prime minister Tony Abbott has drastically changed his conversational vernacular and begun wearing as much red, black and yellow jewellery as possible. This comes after the Member for Warringah gave a conditional yes to taking on the job of the Federal Government's Indigenous envoy. Prime Minister Scott Morrison did not ask Mr Abbott to be...

Rich White Dude From Sydney Replaces Rich White Dude From Sydney As PM

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In breaking news out of the nation's capital, a rich white dude from Sydney has replaced another rich white dude from Sydney as the Prime Minister. After an incredible week in the bush capital, a rich white man named Scott Morrison has replaced Malcolm Turnbull as the Prime Minister of Australia today. This comes after Scott Morrison stormed home late...

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