Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn a heartwarming and somewhat concerning twist on family bonding, 18 -year-old Josh Kaison and his 73-year-old grandmother, Patricia Gallo, have discovered a shared passion for what can only be described as the holy trinity of modern indulgence: gambling, gaming, and sugary snacks. The pair, whose relationship had been strained due to a "generation gap” found common ground recently...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAfter months of agonising over what to put on the glaring white wall above their large leather lounge, local couple Steve and Jess Parry have decided that what their humble living room really needed was a personal touch: a blurry, oversized canvas print of themselves. Not knowing the difference between PNGs and JPEGS, the couple were a little sad...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn what can only be described as a classic misunderstanding between the worlds of extreme sports and dental hygiene, local skateboarder Luke Ruben, 20, was left utterly baffled after his dentist asked if he "grinds in his sleep." Seeing his family dentist at the insistence of his mum, who was nice enough to pay, Luke soon found himself having...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal millennial Hannah Fisher, 32, has found herself spiralling into an existential crisis today, after witnessing her 14-year-old sister, Chloe, using a skincare regime so convoluted, it took thirty minutes to apply. Speaking to The Advocate, Hannah reveals she'd stayed over at her mum's house last night, having finally succumbed to the almost daily requests to have dinner with...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal woman Renee Donahue, 33 is this week rethinking whether reaching the next milestone of her relationship was a good idea, after yet again finding herself barricaded from using the toilet in the morning as her boyfriend undertook another one of his 30 minute shitting sessions. Moving into a small but well laid out studio apartment in the nicer...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA clueless bloke from Betoota Heights has unknowingly committed quite a serious dating faux pas this weekend, which has left his date grappling with an ick she’s not sure she can get past, it’s reported. Having organised a cute first date within just days of matching on Hinge, Adrian Holt, 29, was off to a stellar start when he met...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactBetoota Heights woman Darcy Gale, 29 has today revealed that she believes her addiction to role playing games may have ‘permanently’ rewired her brain, causing her to gamify everyday interactions, it’s reported. Originally developing an addiction to the Sims as a kid, Darcy says she still sees those little negative interaction icons flash in her brain whenever she has...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactRecently divorced mums everywhere have discovered the ultimate cure for post-divorce blues: a dramatic photoshoot in a grassy field with their kids. “It’s like, the moment the ink dries on the divorce papers, the universe hands you a floppy hat, a maxi dress, and the GPS coordinates to the nearest field,” said Maeve Plemens, 29, who recently finalised...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA pudgy boyfriend is expected to be put on a diet this week after his girlfriend realised not all footy boys “need to pack on some size” during the off-season. Enjoying some beers at their local, local pair Jared Tookey and Georgia Grey were doing their bit for Queensland and watching the Brisbane Lions run out onto the MCG,...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT As the AFL Grand Final gets beamed into millions of living rooms and pubs across the nation, Australian Mums continue to dream of the day their daughters will bring home a gorgeous polite boy like Isaac Heeney, it can be reported. As the 6ft tall darling midfielder for the Swans leaps across the grass stage at the MCG, The...