Local office I.T guy, Mathew Bradfield (38), has reportedly had a deep yearning for the years where girls he vaguely knew would ask him if they could download their favourite movies.

Mathew, who is unsurprisingly a huge fan of The Matrix, says that this era made it feel like he was Neo dealing out those mysterious USB sticks like drugs.

“Nothing quite like getting a knock on the door and handing a girl a blank dvd disk with Donny Darko written on it with a marker. I felt like an outlaw..”

Mathew, who was an early adopter of Napster and The Pirate Bay, says this era was able to give him an edge on his more alpha male counterparts in the dating world.

“Barely anyone knew how to use the internet.” Mathew explained.

“There was no Netflix or Spotify. If you wanted to get your favourite movies or music without breaking the bank, you had to go through the nerd you knew, and that nerd was me.”

To this day, Mathew says he has never felt more useful to women then those early Wild West years of the Internet.

“It literally got to the point where I was having to block random girls’ numbers because of the amount of requests I was getting. Almost impossible to imagine that happening now…” Mathew reflected.

The rise of streaming services have reportedly had a huge effect on nerd’s bachelor eligibility around the world as illegal pirating has slowly gone the way of the dodo.

Without the need for a tech savvy person that can navigate the pop-up ad and virus infested waters of the torrent world, many nerds have begun to feel the effects of the ‘post piracy world’.

“It’s like we serve no purpose now. People are happy to pay for their monthly subscription if it means they don’t need to go through us anymore. It hurts, I can’t lie.”


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