Local News

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA ticket from a harrowing 2023 JetStar flight to Melbourne has continued to haunt local man William Myruzynski (27), lurking ominously in the depths of his Apple Wallet.William, from Brisbane, claims that the virtual ticket has become an unwelcome reminder of his traumatic journey."I thought I could escape the horrors of that flight once we landed, but that...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTSelf-proclaimed "man of simplicity" Atticus Wilson (26) , continues to use his raggy bathroom towel as his go-to beach towel. This shocking discovery has reignited concerns that Atticus remains light-years away from being considered husband material by the fairer sex.The issue came to light when Atticus' friends noticed his blue beach towel had toothpaste stains on it."When I...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTLocal man Jesse Doyle (29) found himself in a moral conundrum of e last night. He was faced with the daunting decision of either succumbing to dehydration or braving the wrath of a notoriously passive-aggressive bartender to refill the free water jug. Jesse, who had made the bold choice of simply going to a pub sober, found himself in...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA life long inner city resident that hasn't been to the bush since a high school excursion, Riley Oldham (30) has revealed he reckons he could do a way better job surviving the Alaskan wilderness than those professionals he watches on YouTube all the time. Riley, a city-dweller known for his impeccable taste in craft beer and his aversion...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn a heartwarming turn of events, a talkative West African Uber driver, Umaru Hasani (37), expressed astonishment at the unexpected bond he formed with a group of young passengers who were, in his own words, "In a very cheerful and positive mood". The young group, who were reportedly intoxicated and under the influence of MDMA, were making their way...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactStaring lovingly at the body imprint left on her memory foam mattress, Betoota Heights woman Charlise Keaton, 32, tries to hold back her tears. Had you told her a few months ago that she’d be getting triggered by her mattress, she would have laughed at you.  But there it was, the physical version of those horrendous Facebook memories that only...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactBetoota council members have collectively agreed to invest in some more public art, after coming to the conclusion that the inner city district didn’t have enough confusing sculptures made from scrap metal. It’s alleged this conversation transpired after the youngest council member, 29 year old Dean Wallace, realised that in order for Betoota to finally make it on the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local grazier has told The Advocate that he has a dim view of people who simply run cattle, telling our reporter that he finds the practice of grazing cattle exclusively "repugnant." The lower reaches of the Queensland Channel Country are home to the nation's premier cattle-fattening country, while some of the northern parts have...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn elderly couple have today agreed to add another loud ticking clock to their living room, having decided that having a grandfather clock, quartz clock and a water clock just wasn’t enough, and that they could really do with another reminder that time is passing them by. With a total of twelve clocks in their oversized four bedroom bungalow...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A 24-hour gym franchise located next a row of newly-built Townhouses in Betoota Heights has played host to a redemption story these past few months - as an embattled local dad overcomes his personal indiscretions. Once regarded as a selfish grub who had not only fucked up his own life, but also the lives of countless other people who...