Politics

Healthy Harold Caught Holidaying In Hawaii During Coronavirus Outbreak Crisis

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With the deadly CoronaVirus death toll nearing 6000 and with almost 30,000 reported infections, the world is at panic stations. Although the threat to Australia is yet to be fully assessed, many feel the situation is lacking leadership as travelling health advocate Health Harold was spotted holidaying in...

Barnaby Rolls In For A Big Day Of Working For The People He Represents In Parliament

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Barnaby Joyce has today shocked the nation by heading in to work for a big day of getting as much done as he can for the good of the people he is actually supposed to represent. As the current Special Envoy on the drought and representative for the...

Canberra Worried Katter Is Actually Going To Start Shooting People

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The regional centre of Canberra, and the nation at large to a certain extent has today revealed that it's a little bit concerned about what Bob Katter might get up to over the next couple of years. This comes as the maverick MP from Kennedy in North Queensland...

Bloke Wearing Felt Hat Named Declan Suggests Using Kombucha As A Mixer Drink

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Newtown local Declan O’Brien was feeling a little bit silly this weekend. After a couple of extra hoppy blood orange and passionfruit double XPA’s the graphic designer was in a pretty good mood. “Oi we should mix that voddy with Remedy Kombucha haha,” laughed the chirpy young...

Bloke Who Says We Need To Listen To Murris About Back Burning Also Says Get Over The Invasion

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As debates rage over what caused this summer's unprecedented 4-month bushfire season, the annual tensions over Australia Day seem to be lost in the news cycle. Some say it's because Sunrise has decided to focus their energy on the $100M sports grants that Senator McKenzie decided to bribe marginal...

Below-Average Marketing Student Dreams Of Entering Politics

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact After watching Scotty from Marketing over the past couple of months, below average marketing student, Stacey Watts is today realising that hope is not lost when it comes to her career. Due to graduate this year, the P-average student had felt a little concerned about her job prospects given...

PM Says Risk Of Flash Flooding Means Now Is Also Not A Good Time To Talk About Climate Change

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT For Scotty From Marketing the words 'when it rains, it pours' have never rung truer. This week on the podcast, we are pulling one out of the vault, the Liberal Deputy and political veteran Julie Bishop. She's got some stories and a few zingers. Listen here:

Netball Club In Marginal Labor Seat Begins Planning New Hyperbaric Chamber Upgrade For 2022

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT President of the Terimungle Netball Club June Wilson has already earmarked the spot for the club's new state of the art Hyperbaric Chamber. The lifelong volunteer for the regional club known affectionately as the Mongrels, said she can't wait to get her hands on the funds that she...

Scotty From Marketing Tries To Win Over Cobargo Residents With Zoolander Quotes

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT After his disastrous field-trip to Cobargo, Scotty from Marketing has returned with a secret weapon which he is certain will win the adulation he needs to score some decent handshake footage for the next LNP TV commercial montage: palm cards containing quotes from the popular 2001 Ben Stiller comedy ‘Zoolander’.

Prime Minister Tells Nation He Deeply Regrets Using Up All Of His Prayers On The Election

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today acknowledged that he caused "great anxiety in Australia" by taking a family holiday in Hawaii as bushfires burned across the nation that have been killing people and destroying homes. Mr Morrison announced he would cut his trip short on Friday, after...

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