Politics

Election Presumed To Be Close As Liberals Begin Promising Things For Poor People

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The nation has received it's strongest indication yet that a federal election is looming. The indication comes after Senior Liberal Senator Arthur Sinodinos took to Q & A last night to radically call for a raise to the Newstart payment. On the eve of...

Greens Volunteer Says He Knows It’s Like Bad To Say This But Immigrants Only Vote Conservatively Because They Aren’t That Well Educated

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Richie Mund (27) a well-known vocal campaigner and son of two career public servants in high-paid and secure bureaucratic positions within either the ABC or the state library, says theres a been a lot of government policy that can be blamed for the current trend of anti-intellectualism in Australian politics.

Pauline Claims She Was On The Sauce That Time She Said Vaccines Cause Autism

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has today fronted the media, with a bold new claim that she wasn't of a sound mind when she made comments about vaccinations causing Autism. Today's comments relate to that time Hanson did her best NRL Insta Wag impression and urged people to...

Shorten To Spend April Practicing Finishes To Ensure He Doesn’t Michael Daley A Steven Bradbury

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following NSW Labor's catastrophic bed-shit over the weekend, the Federal Opposition have decided that it might be worth doing and saying some stuff before the upcoming election. High-ranking Labor powerbrokers have declared that while the incumbent Prime Bradbury Bill Shorten appears to be scandal-free for now, his lack of...

NSW Labor Wondering Which Bumbling Generic-Looking Career Politician Should Lead The Party Next

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The NSW Labor Party has confirmed this afternoon that they are still mulling over which bumbling politician they should appoint to lead the party next. This comes after Michael Daley managed to chop the ball onto his own stumps a week out from the election, following his appointment...

Michael Daley Somehow Loses Game Of Checkers To Himself

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Opposition Leader of NSW Michael Daley has today chalked up another loss. Following his previously unthinkable loss to the Developers and Boomers Party of Australia, colloquially known as the Liberal Party last night, Michael Daley somehow managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in a...

Security Close Venue Before Gladys Can Give Victory Speech

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact After shocking the young people of NSW who live in Sydney, Wollongong and Newcastle and managing to win the state election this weekend, Gladys Berejilkian had her celebrations cut short last night. Following the phone call from Michael Daley conceding defeat, and more importantly Anthony Green making a...

Dubbo Man Apparently Not Really Concerned A Football Stadium 400KM Away Is Getting Renovated

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Dubbo grazier Horrace Calare (62) says he's still a bit confused as to why the NSW Labor Party has spent the last month campaigning as a single-issue party. "Jeez. Thought they would have jumped on the fish kill. I could almost smell it from here" says Horrace.

Millennial Handing Out Vote Labor Cards Lucky He Didn’t Have Job Taken By Much Smarter Asian

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact A local man who doesn’t have a PhD is counting his blessings today as he stands outside a primary school handing out Labor vote cards. Kyle Vanguard (21) is studying a measly arts degree, the outcome of which will likely mean he won’t make enough money to...

Uncle Tony X Caught Filling Manly Street Library With Hardcore Black Nationalist Literature

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Respected Northern Beaches Elder Tony Abbott has today decided it is time to educate the allies, after stumbling across what he describes as a 'wonderful thing' while door-knocking in Dee Why, deep within his electorate's Tongan Quarter. The former Prime Minister appeared incredibly infatuated by the stock standard suburban...

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