Politics

Prospective Dog Owners Ask Where All The Nice Purebreds Are At The Rescue Shelter

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A pretentious Betoota couple have stunned staff at Happy Paws Rescue Shelter after genuinely asking if there were any purebred dogs for sale. Wanting to connect with the common man, the couple thought it would do their brand good if they adopted a rescue pup instead of spending thousands...

Militant Non-Smoker Playfully Changes His Tune Over A Couple Cold Ones

Militant non-smoker Nick Smith (28) seems to have relaxed his stance on casual durries as he and his mates get stuck into a couple of coldies. Usually berating his friends George (28) and Roger (30) for smoking during work hours, Smith has reportedly hinted that maybe a cheeky bunger isn’t so bad if you're at the pub with mates. “Yeah, I...

Eden-Monaro Liberal Candidate Promises To Ban Bushfires Like She Tried To Ban Gay Marriage

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT When it comes to this weekend's by-election in Eden-Monaro the Coalition has gone through a river shit to find a candidate. After the binfire John Barilaro and Andrew Constance both putting their hands up and then being blackmailed out by their colleagues, the Liberal Party’s gruelling Eden-Monaro preselection process has...

PM: “If I Tell You What My Plan Is For JobKeeper, You Won’t Vote Liberal In This By-Election”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Our common-sense Prime Minister has lived up to his self-titled nickname today by telling reporters in Sydney this afternoon that he's not going to tell everyone what his plan is for JobKeeper and Seeker until after the election. Because if he does, they probably won't...

QLD Tourism Build Bamboo Fence Along Kangaroo Cliffs Point To Hide The Ongoing Refugee Crisis

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After spending the last month criticising the Black Lives Matters protests for potentially spreading COVID-19 during the 30,000-strong march across the city, the Queensland Government has today opted to simply hide the other civil rights protests taking place in the Brisbane CBD. On the orders of the Premier, Queensland...

Bloke With Ned Kelly Tattoo Covering His Entire Back Outraged By Calls For Police Reform

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local off-peak holiday package telemarketer, Bryan (39) says that today's society needs a kick up the arse, and the growing disrespect shown towards our brave men in blue is Un-Australian and disgraceful. "Back in my day... We used to respect authority" says Bryan, referencing the wildly misplaced nostalgia that...

Labor Experiences Surge In Polls After Officially Changing Their Name To “Them Other Mob”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 12 months after they somehow managed to lose the 2019 election to the Liberal Party Nightwatchman, the ALP has begun to implement changes to their historically inflexible policy handbook and branding. This review process was accelerated after it became clear that Prime Minister Morrison was only gaining popularity after...

PM: “Killing Unarmed Black Men Is One Thing, But Don’t You Dare Touch The Sunrise Cameraman!”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time since Minnesota law enforcement officers killed the unarmed black man George Floyd live on camera 7 days ago, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today suggested that maybe American police are a little heavy-handed. This comes after a Channel 7 cameraman was punched by riot...

“Kobe!” Yells Scotty From Marketing As He Shoots Bushfire Royal Commission Reports Into Bin

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a relatable moment this afternoon, our relatable Prime Minister has thrown a bit of rubbish in the bin with a bit of a flourish. Mimicking thousands of blokes who work or used to work in roles where paper or rubbish needs to be thrown in the bin,...

Inbred Feral Brumby Quite Flattered To Be Key Election Issue In Bushfire Ravaged Eden-Monaro

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a grim year of loss and tragedy following a record breaking drought that turned into record breaking bushfires, the good people of Eden-Monaro are now staring down the barrel at by-election that also insults their intelligence. This comes after the region’s long-serving Federal Labor MP, Mike Kelly,...

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