Politics

Hungover Albanese Sighs After Realising Morning Meeting Could Have Been An Email

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The nation's new Prime Minister has today let out a massive sigh, before heading into a 'boring as' meeting. With a greasy Pad Thai lunch on his mind, Anthony Albanese has revealed that Scott Morrison's secret ministerial appointments were legal. Anticipating an all-guns-blazing press conference where he got to eviscerate his favourite punching bag, Albanese revealed to The...

Opinion: Has Woke Culture Killed The Larrikin? | By Guest Writer Scott Morrison

SCOTT MORRISON | Everyday Man | CONTACT *After seeing just how good humoured former Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been regarding all the articles and memes centred on his portfolio controversy, the editors of The Betoota Advocate have formally invited him to be a guest writer. I recall hearing my father softly chuckling from the living room one balmy Saturday night.  I would have been...

Relatable Aussie Larrikin Has A Laugh At Himself For Hilariously Undermining Nation’s Democracy

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's former Prime Minister has today proven that he's still got it. After a barrage of criticism for deliberately undermining the nation's democracy, Scott Morrison has decided to just have a laugh at himself. With his colleagues, the media, and the general population horrified by the fact the Prime Minister thought he would make secret power grabs...

Scotty Provides Images Of His Daily Briefings To Prove He Was Across All Of Those Secret Jobs

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The nation's busiest man has today provided some rock-solid evidence that he does in fact live up to the title. Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison has handed over some images to the media detailing what his day looked like as Minister for everything. The images show Morrison sitting at his Prime Ministerial Desk with about 45,000 pages of...

Australian Dance Music Now Dominated By Christian DJs After Scotty Secretly Takes Over Ministry Of Sound

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some bizarre news, it appears Scott Morrison’s rampage on ministries has gone a lot deeper than initially thought, as documents reveal the rising number of Christian DJs dominating Australia Dance Music is also of his doing. Not content with just giving himself the health, finance, industry, science, energy and resources, home affairs and treasury portfolios, Side Hustle Scotty...

Working Single Mum Impressed Scotty Was Able To Do All Those Jobs And Have Time To Cook Dinner

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA hard working single mum has today found herself being impressed by former Prime Minister Scott Morrison, after finding out he not only juggled several jobs but also made time for his jungle curry. Tara Creevey tells The Advocate that she’s been forced to work two jobs due to her rent hiking up, all while looking after her...

Opinion: Are Immigrants Stealing Your Job Or Is It Scott Morrison?

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactMeet Greg Landson, he’s 24, has a degree in engineering, and has worked for two companies, doing whatever the hell it is that engineers do. After grinding for seven years, this hardworking Aussie is ready to make the big boy money at one of the biggest big boy companies, Rio Tinto.  But after applying for a plum role and rigorously...

Time Rich Side Hustle Scotty Unveils New Hire-A-Minister Business

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The nation's former Prime Minister has today revealed to The Advocate that he won't ever stop grinding. This follows explosive revelations that Scott Morrison secretly made himself the minister of a number of portfolios, in what seems to be a blatant attempt at grabbing power. Allegations have emerged that there may be more portfolios we don't know about,...

Side Hustle Scotty Rejects Role Of Women’s Minister Saying Extra Pressure Isn’t Worth 25% Pay Cut

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactFormer Prime Minister Scott Morrison has somehow been able to put a dingleberry garnish on a shit sandwich this morning, after admitting he’d felt no need to undertake the role as women’s minister due to its ‘insulting pay.’ This comes from recent revelations that Morrison secretly appointed himself to several ministries, including finances, resources and health, with the latter...

Side Hustle Scotty Confirms He’s Taking Oscar Piastri’s Contract With Alpine For Next F1 Season

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some very unwelcome news for Formula 1 fans, it can be revealed that the Alpine contract disaster has now been sorted out without the need for a court date, as a well known Aussie polymath has officially confirmed he’ll be overtaking Fernando Alonso’s place. This of course, refers to the absolute PR disaster from Alpine last week, who...

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