Politics

ICAC Finds Daryl Maguire Probably Not Gonna Have Too Much Luck On The Dating Scene After This

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Today's ICAC inquiries have revealed that disgraced former Wagga MP Daryl Maguire is not gonna have too much luck on the NSW Riverina dating scene moving forward. This comes after the public was treated to a fairly grim insight into how he treats the women he is allegedly 'personally involved with' - as investigators continue to unveil The watchdog has...

Government Proposes Very Exciting And Not At All Worrying Plan To Make Voting More Difficult

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In some very exciting news out of Canberra this week, it seems the Morrison government are hoping ban any citizens from voting unless they can present a specific form of identification. The bill, which passed the Coalition party room on Tuesday but is yet to be introduced to parliament, looks a lot like the American past time of voter...

Government That Spent 9 Years Gutting CSIRO Now Relying On Yet-To-Be-Invented Technology To Deliver Net Zero

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After 9 years of ridiculing scientists and hiding all research surrounding alarming climate change trends, the Federal Government has declared they have a plan to reach net zero emissions by 2050. Just 48 hours before he boards a flight to Glasgow, Scotty From Marketing and the Energy minister Angus Taylor used the word "plan" up to 100 times in...

Gina Rhinehart Forgets To Exit Through Secret Side Door After Nationals Net Zero Discussions

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After two weeks of slaving over the decision to turn their backs on the only political ideology they have ever stood for, the National Party has reluctantly agreed to sign up to a net zero emissions target by 2050. This comes despite the opposition of leader Barnaby Joyce and other major players within the Morrison government's inconveniently rural allies. Their...

PM: “We Blocked The Inquiry Because If The Public Knew The Truth, Our Heads Would Be On Pikes”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A cheerful Scott Morrison fronted the media this morning with the hopes of putting all the unpleasantness of the past two years behind him and his government. However, the issue of said government blocking the inquiry into who funded former Attorney-General Christian Porter's legal fight against the ABC and esteemed journalist Louise Milligan is still...

Nats Unveil Net Zero Plan: “Okay. So We Won’t Touch Mining And Gas… But We Shoot Every Cow”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With less than a fortnight until he is scheduled to land in Glasgow to pretend he gives a fuck about the future of the planet, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing is still waiting for his National Party colleagues to sign off on his plan to compromise literally every industry they've ever made promises to. It is believed that Scotty...

PM Tells Everyone To Notify Him When They’ve Made The Tough Decisions So He Can Start Packing For Glasgow

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scotty From Marketing has reportedly asked one of his staffers to notify him when his coalition colleagues has made the tough decision to sign up to Net Zero Emissions, so that he can start packing his bags for another trip overseas to be photographed with the Queen and the US President. This comes after a week of scrambling by...

Nationals Say Coalition Hasn’t Been This Divided Since The Libs Banned Them From Rooting Staff

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tensions continue to rise in Canberra this week, after Scotty From Marketing was told to wait patiently until his coalition allies in the National Party are ready to admit to the climate science that they've actively been writing off as hippy rubbish for the last twenty years. The government is trying to gently convince the Nationals to support its...

“No… No! NOOOO!!!” Screams Scotty As ACT Re-Opens Pubs Before He Gets An Answer On Net Zero

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT THOSE DRUNKEN TOOTHLESS HICKS!! Barnaby Joyce says his party won't be "forced into a corner" on the government's proposed pathway to net zero carbon emissions by 2050. This comes after a week of Morrison trying to gently convince the Nationals to support his overnight decision to start listening to the scientists that have been tearing their hair out for...

Barnaby Says Main Concern For His Party Is Protecting Jobs Of Regional Australians In Canberra

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Deputy Prime Minister of Australia has today revealed the reason behind the Nationals hesitation on committing to Net Zero 2050. Speaking in parliament today after the mammoth 8 hour National Party meeting yesterday, Barnaby Joyce explained that he needs to do what is right for him and his colleagues. His comments come as pressure is heaped on...

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