The Queensland Opposition’s ‘un-loseable election’ campaign has been thrown a hospital pass this week, after the Labor Government announced perhaps one of the most radical policies in recent memory.

In an effort to provide both cost-of-living relief – while also getting cars off the road – Queensland Premier Steven Miles has announced that bus, train, ferry and light rail fares will be dramatically reduced to 50 cents per trip.

The State government hopes to “give people a reason to get back to public transport” and ditch their pandemic-era ‘working from home’ arrangements.

Regardless of whether they are travelling from the Gold Coast to Beerwah, Queenslanders will be charged a 50 cent flat-rate ride – in a pre-election trial, kicking off on August 5 and running for six months.

“Fifty-cent fares will give people a reason to rethink their habits, a reason to go back to public transport when they can, and everyone benefits from that.” said Premier Miles.

This announcement has been received very well by voters, and will drastically warp the opinion polls data just 6 months out from a State Election.

After nearly ten years of Labor, many had assumed the recently sworn-in Premier Miles would be booted from power due to costs and delays surrounding the catastrophic Brisbane Olympics preparations.

However, in the power vacuum left behind the by resignation of a the polarising saviour of the pandemic, Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk, it seems that Steven Miles is just as unknown to the Australian voters as his LNP opponent David Crisafulli.

And the flat fare policy might have changed that, as hundreds of thousands of people rush to ‘like’ the video of Steven Miles announcing this new iniative on the platform of Mango Hill train station with a 50 cent coin in his hand, and his abnormally larged biceps in full flex.

This fare reduction will cost the state far less than they’ll be making off a new mining royalty tax – and will likely save commuters over hundred bucks a week to spend on groceries and medicine.

The LNP opposition has had to respond fast and hard to the success of this policy, and have today announced their own plan for more affordable transport.

“50 cent fares are great.. But we can do better.” said Crisafulli in a press conference outside the Queensland Tattersalls Club today.

“We could also save money not paying bus drivers or the ferry skippers. And not paying for the maintenance of buses and boats”

“We propose selling all of our public transport to the trendy ride-sharing tech giant Uber and letting them set their own price. Which I’m sure will be very fair and reasonable!”

Crisafulli says it’s worked with the road tolls and the energy grid, so Queensland voters should just trust that it’ll be the same for public transport.

“This way we can repeal the royalties on mining companies and let them operate in peace!”


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