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143 Out-Of-Control Bushfires Currently Ravaging Rural Australia Criticised For Subjecting Aussie Kids To ‘Needless Anxiety About Climate Change

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scott Morrison has responded to the deadly bushfires ravaging three states by declaring their destructive combustion of drought-scorched earth is subjecting Australian children to “needless anxiety”. The Australian Prime Minister was asked for his response to over 600 schools being closed due to unprecedented bushfires destroying communities right across...

PM’s Emergency Thoughts And Prayers Package Finally Arrives From Cronulla

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Several RHS (Rural Hillsong Service) Volunteers have been injured this afternoon attempting to deliver the vapid Pentecostal thoughts and prayers of Scott Morrison to bushfire victims. The care package, which was delivered in one of those creepy buses that float around the outskirts suburbs of major cities experienced a...

Shorten Feeling Kind Of Relieved That He Didn’t Catch This Hospital Pass

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After months of humiliation at the hands of the media and his political rivals, former Leader of the Opposition Bill Shorten is today feeling a wave of relief. At this point, he can't tell what brings him more joy. Is it the glee of watching...

NSW Police Minister Pulls Out A Wobble Board For Press Conference About Random Strip-Searches

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NSW Police Minister David Elliott has claimed he "would want" his own underage sons strip-searched if police "felt they were at risk of doing something wrong". New data shows 122 teenage girls were strip-searched by officers since 2016, when the New South Wales government decided that shutting down every...

NSW Copper Puts On A Bit Of R Kelly Before Hitting The Streets For A Few Random Drug Searches

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Inner-Sydney police officer, Taylor Square (35) knows he's not the world's greatest copper, but that hasn't stopped him from putting his head down and bump and grind his way to the top of the NSW Police Force. Taylor says he loves what he does, ever since the first backyard...

“I’ve Never Really Been Into The Hilltops” Says Local Liar

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Eyes were rolled and sighs were sighed at the Saturday arvo pissup at Deano's joint last weekend when notorious shit-stirrer Mark claimed to not be a fan of successful Australian Hip Hop group Hilltop Hoods. Mark, who has previously claimed that pizza is "not that great" and dogs...

Triple J Sound Engineer Forced To Watch The Race With One Bar Of Volume In Ultimo Bathrooms

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's the race that stops the nation, but at the ABC Ultimo Kremlin, it's just another day. Especially at Triple J. The station-wide policy at the Australian youth broadcaster dictates that horseracing should never be mentioned, unless a horse dies during the Melbourne Cup - in which case the...

Racing Victoria Neutralises Cruelty Debate By Winning Over The Lefties With Rainbow Flag Tarp

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With only one sleep until the Melbourne Cup, Racing Victoria have today come out strong in its efforts to unite the nation around the race that stops it. This comes after the racing industry reported a 7.5 per cent decline in Spring Carnival betting, a noted dip from...

Victorian Cops Suggest Climate Protestors Show Some Courtesy Like Those Upstanding Neo-Nazis

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has backed senior police who insist officers exercised "fine restraint" during violent clashes with protesters outside an international mining conference in Melbourne this week. That is despite the fact that hundreds of people are still lying in dark rooms across Melbourne with wet clothes on...

ScoMo Discreetly Congratulates Woolies Executives For Having A Go

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While it would be a bad look to offer his congratulations and sympathy publicly, Prime Minister Morrison has reportedly passed on his warm words of support to the Woolworths Australia. This follows the revelations that the supermarket giant have underpaid nearly 6000 staff members as much as $300 million...

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