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Report: Pocock Is A Rig

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by anyone with a pair of eyeballs has found that Australian rugby superstar David Pocock is actually taking the piss with that rig. As the 31-year-old Wallabies flanker prepares for their opening World Cup match against Fiji this weekend, media and fans alike are marvelling at...

Chinese Spy Infiltrating Greens Suffers The Indignity Of White People Speaking Mandarin To Her

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact After a spate of ICAC inquiries and ABC investigations have revealed concerning levels of Chinese influence over the major parties. Dodgy links have already established between the Chinese and the NSW Labor Party with the delivery of $100,000 in cash in an Aldi shopping bag...

Pauline Accuses The One Australian Woman Murdered By Her Partner Each Week Of Making Stuff Up

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The one woman who is murdered by her current or former partner each week in Australia of lying, as she calls for multi-million dollar review into the Family Law system, which she claims ‘favours women’. Hanson has accused some women of “making up” allegations about domestic violence and slammed...

Country Town Outfitters Ups The Marketing Budget To Include Terrifying Mannequin In Shopfront

LOUIS BOURKE | Culture| CONTACT Regional clothing outlet ‘Janet’s Closet & Things’ has a proud history of providing over 50s Diamantina women with the garments and accessories they need to look like a substitute English teacher or a friend of your aunt. Due to the nation’s ageing population, the alleged boutique has seen an...

Local Man Successfully Evades Speeding Ticket By Giving The Police Officer a Serve

FRANKIE DeGROOT | NSW | CONTACT It was a close call for Adrian “Ayrton” Clarkson yesterday when he narrowly avoided a speeding fine whilst travelling at 85km/h in a School Zone in his lightly modified BA Falcon. “I thought I was gone mate. I just seen him come out of a side street and light...

Blurry Dot On Ultrasound Already Receiving More Love From Christians Than A Caged Tamil Child

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A blurry, nameless and lifeless dot that was picked up by a local GPs ultrasonic imaging of a woman's stomach has today been greeted with an overwhelming amount of support from creepy Christians who have decided their one true calling is to champion the unconditional continuation of this unformed embryo's unplanned existence.

Film Student Writes Screenplay About A Drug Deal Gone Wrong

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Second year Griffith student, Liam Young, will be presenting a feature film at this years West End Film Festival. The ambitious project titled ‘Accidental Killer’, will focus on the misadventures of an office clerk who finds himself smack bang in the middle of a gang war. “The premise is that Tim is...

Headphones Covertly Muted As Blow-Up Between Transit Officer And Passenger Kicks Off

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A morning commute on the Betoota Monorail network became uncharacteristically interesting during a stop in Betoota Ponds as a transit officer kicked off with a fare evading passenger. As Transit Office Todd McKinley (54) fired off with the unnamed fare evader, many of the witnesses state they took to...

NSW Woman Forced Into Having Unplanned Child Now Forced To Piss Into A Cup To Support It

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Cessnock-based single mother, Ava Gogedagogh (25) is today preparing for the next phase of intrusive government policy that looks to completely remove her agency as a young woman, and further humiliate her for the ordinary hand she's been dealt. After finding herself in the undesired position of having to...

Government Urged To Hire Anyone Still Able To Budget For Recreational Drugs While On Newstart

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As drug testing for Newstart recipients is trialed in three locations across Australia, it appears those critical of the proposal have forgotten a key benefit of conditional welfare. Not only will the test identify traces of marijuana, methamphetamines, cocaine and heroin, it will also identify those who test positive...

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