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Labor Party Now Relying Solely On Latrell To Put Queensland Back In Their Place

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The humiliated, battle-weary Australian Labor Party have this week had to concede that they are in the middle of an identity crisis, after bleeding votes both left and right in marginal seats across the nation. Of course, in true southern-centric fashion, this phenomena has been entirely blamed on Queensland...

ScoMo Gets Straight To Work As PM And Repeals Ban On Jet Skis In Sydney Harbour As Promised

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has wasted little time mucking around since the weekend's election and has today announced some big policy, an overturn on the jet ski ban in Sydney Harbour. "How goods Sydney Harbour," he said to reporters down in the Developers Republic of Sydney today....

North Brissy Jet-Ski-Owner Surprisingly Not Very Receptive To 20-Something GetUp Campaigners

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT North-Brisbane-based glass balustrade installer, Strath Pynsenna (33), might be making a bit of money out of the Sunshine Coast property boom, but he still remembers what it's like to be poor as shit. After growing up in public housing in the back of Caboolture under Peter Beattie, Strath worked...

George Pell Starting To Worry After Abbott Fails To Answer Office Phone For Three Whole Days

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The news of Zali Steggall's comprehensive victory in Warringah has reportedly not yet made its way to the exercise yard of the Melbourne Assessment Prison. This news comes as panic sets in for the recently-incarcerated-rock-spider, Cardinal Pell, who feels he might be getting the silent treatment from his confidante and...

NewsCorp Refuse To Apologise For Front Page Depicting Palaszczuk Being Burnt Alive On A Stake

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Sunshine Coast Daily has refused to apologise for publishing a front page featuring Annastacia Palaszczuk burning alive in a town square with the words “BURN THE WITCH”. The NewsCorp paper’s election analysis: “Labor rout puts Premier on the stake, where she will be burned, by first us, and then voters,...

Uncle Tony Sick Of Being Told What To Do By The White Man, Sacks Himself From Envoy Role

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister, Uncle Tony Abbott has today decided to sack himself from the role of Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs, citing he's sick of being told what to do by white men like himself. "After Saturday night's result... I had to take a good hard look in the...

Clive Palmer’s Failed Election Campaign Leaves Nation Facing Critical Yellow Ink Shortage

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Even after spending close to $60 million on advertising, Clive Palmer's United Australia Party is set to miss out on a Senate seat, even in Queensland where he has plastered even more billboards in comparison to the rest of the country. In the lower house, his candidates won 3.4...

New 28-Year-Old Liberal MP Prepares For Transition From Car Salesman To Minister Of Defence

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Scott Morrison looks set to form a Liberal Government following his first ever election win as Prime Minister, vacancies are now opening up in cabinet positions right across the board. This follows the now possibly ill-thought-out resignations from Julie Bishop and Christopher Pyne, as well as anyone else...

Manila Sofitel Concierge Finally Locates A Sunbaking George Christensen To Relay The Good News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hotel staff from the Sofitel Phillipine Plaza in the famed hedonistic hotspot of Pasay are finally now able to return to work, following a frantic 12-hour mission to find the Member For Manila. George Christensen MP, the colourful mid-North-Queensland politician, was found sunbaking on the Manila Metro tourist beach...

Bob Brown Leads Coalition To Shock Victory Across Marginal QLD Seats

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Greens Party leader and environmentalist Bob Brown is today being praised by the re-elected Morrison government for helping the Coalition retain and gain marginal seats right across Queensland. While the vegan farm invaders had already created a mild swing towards the Coalition, Brown's most recent anti-Adani convoy to...

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