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QLD Mum Learns How To Assemble Sniper Rifle In Case State Government Tries To Ruin Christmas

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The pressure is on the Queensland State Government to formulate a border policy ahead of Christmas, as Australian families separated by the Tweed river remain desperate to see each other. Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk said she hopes the National Cabinet meeting on Friday will provide a roadmap on reopening that will help Australia's struggling tourism industry, but has done her...

Billy Slater To Bring Back QLD Origin Tradition Of Making Debutants Drink 15L Drum Of Molasses

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Sunshine State's emerging rugby talent are very nervous today, after news broke that the Queensland Origin side is set to revisit the hard but fair initation rituals of yesteryear. This comes after this morning's news that Maroons and Melbourne Storm legend Billy Slater has been announced as the next Queensland State of Origin coach - after accepting an...

Melbourne’s Wokest Twitter Activist Can’t Help But Clutch Purse As Blue Collar Worker Walks By

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After effectively making a career out of calling out bigotry on the internet, Fitzroy woman Charlotte Meredith-Thistlethwaite (30) has today proven that she too is prone to a bit of old fashioned prejudice. In 2015, she was banging the drum about not judging all Muslims by the actions of all a select few of lunatics in Paris and...

ALP Begin Searching Rural QLD Bowls Clubs For Antagonistic Retired Shearers To Run As Candidates

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Opposition Leader, whose name is Anthony Albanese, has today announced a candidate drive in Queensland's rural working class electorates that his party could once rely on every election. While Annastacia has found success in winning back pivotal seats in the bush and FNQ at a state level, the party continues to suffer federally. Many put this down to...

Melbourne Vinnies Report Abundance Of Hi-Vis Donations As Conspiracists Stop Playing Dress Ups

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Second-hand clothing outlets across Melbourne say they are being inundated with brand new high visibility workwear, as the conspiracists who spent the last few days pretending to be angry tradies run out of steam. Some councils have also stopped offering free landfill disposal for charities due to the abundance of hi-vis, that is now clogging up the bins...

Earthquake Damage Sees Dan Andrews Begin Gruelling Task Of Mending Relationship With Tradies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has today had to swallow his pride and begin negotiations with the construction industry, after a numbers buildings experienced substantial structural damage following an earthquake in Melbourne this morning. A 'watch and act' emergency warning has been issued for Victoria as residents are told to brace for more aftershocks after an earthquake struck the...

2021 Chucks In A Few Earthquakes For The Fuck Of It

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Windows have shattered and buildings have shaken across Melbourne this morning as Victoria experienced an out-of-character earthquake. The quake was recorded at magnitude 6, which is pretty red hot, and probably the first of its kind felt by many of those that felt it. Shaking was reported as far away as Canberra, Tasmania and Albury - with some drama...

Remember When ASIO Specifically Warned Dutton About Threats Of Extremist Far-Right Propaganda?

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Melbourne descends into the chaos of confused and propaganda-fuelled protests, everyone but the Murdoch media machine is reminiscing about the time ASIO boss Mike Burgess warned the Minister of Home Affairs that right-wing extremists are becoming one of our biggest national security threats. Yesterday, violence erupted outside of the CFMEU offices as construction union heavyweights punched on...

Dan Andrews Announces Disaster Bonus Bets In Effort To Calm Down Melbourne Tradies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An uneasy and confused marriage of distressed construction workers and anti-vaxxer protestors are marching through Melbourne again this afternoon, as the city reaches boiling point after nearly 300 days in lockdown since the pandemic began. Both Victorian police and Union officials have come out to clarify that they believe these riots have been orchestrated by far-right-extremists aimed at...

Jayden Campbell Begins 2022 Off-Season With 15 Kilogram Pasta Dish And 3.7 Litre Protein Shake

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After playing a big role in the Gold Coast Titan's first finals appearance in five years, NRL rookie Jayden Campbell is already back in the gym to prepare for what many believe will be a sensational 2022 season. Many believed the 21-year-old was too light to even get a start in 2021, but his elusive ball skills and...

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