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Katter Outraged To Learn The Prime Minister Has Been Living In Sin This Whole Time, Sure There’s Been A Couple Leaders Before Him That Might’ve Strayed From God’s Light...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has announced his engagement to partner Jodie Haydon in a heart-warming social media post this morning, after a tactical Valentine's Day proposal. However, the announcement of this feel-good story about our Prime Minister has caused havoc in Parliament, as it becomes clear the independent Member For Kennedy Bob Katter MP was unaware that Albanese and...

“I Miss The Old Kanye” Says 22-Year-Old 

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT In a show of nostalgia that no one that age has the right to feel, local 22-year-old Callum Brodie has made waves by making the huge call that he misses the old Kanye, despite having only vague recollections of the Chicago rapper's earlier work from primary school. "I just feel like Kanye used to be so much better, you...

Sydney Property Investors Cheering As City Mulches Parks With Asbestos To Shut Up The Noisy Gays

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In news that has thrilled the baby boomer property investors and real estate agents that benefit directly from the cultural sterilisation of the once rowdy and exciting Sydney nightlife, organisers of the iconic Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras have announced the festival's Fair Day event will be cancelled due to asbestos concerns. The event was set to take place...

“Sydney Is Turning Into A City With No Grandchildren” Says NSW Government That Spent 20 Years Creating A Sterile And Overvalued Boomer Utopia

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sydney is at risk of becoming "the city with no grandchildren" - a senior government official has warned, as generational inequity drives young families to relocate and spread the housing crisis to regional towns. According to the NSW Productivity Commission, Sydney lost about 35,000 people aged 30-40 between 2016 and 2021 - as it became clear to young people...

Mum, Dad, And Daughter Have A Big Couple Days Ahead Of Them With Pink, Blink And Skink

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | CONTACT A young middle class family from Betoota Heights will not being going on holidays for a while, it has been confirmed. This comes after both mum, dad and daughter each secured tickets to their favourite musical acts of all time - all three of whom are touring Australia this week. As a no-nonsense matriarchal ocker, mum is obviously a...

Older Tradie Named ‘Kim’ Probably Not Worth Winding Up If You Believe The Yarns

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the construction game, there's certain characters that are not worth getting on the wrong side of. First and foremost, there's the pie van lady with the ice cold glare. Then obviously that little soft cock site manager who wears chinos and Timberlands - because he's the one that can get you sacked. However, as some young fellas have learnt...

Parliament To Pass New Greens Bill That Allow Workers To Tell Boss To Go And Get Fucked After 5pm

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Labor has allowed the Greens to get one away this week, after a new Industrial Relations bill has amended to include 'the right to disconnect'. This law has long been proposed by the Greens, in their effort to help destroy the cringeworthy and toxic 'Grind' culture that has arisen since the invent of smartphones. No longer will be bosses be...

Jacob Elordi Pays Tribute To Queenslander Roots By Teaching Sydney Wanker Some Manners At The Cloey

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hollywood star Jacob Elordi is the subject of a NSW police investigation after an alleged melee outside a hotel in Sydney on Saturday. While the debate over ‘Is Jacob Elordi a Melbourne Boy or Brisbane Boy’ continues to rage online with every award-winning on-screen performance, yesterday's melee has only confirmed his Queenslander status. The Saltburn actor, who is currenly in...

Liberal Staffers Physically Restrain Dutton From Offering Support To Anti Co-Education Protestors

Australia has been offered an insight in to the issues that keep society's most privileged awake at night, as protests kicked off at the school gates of a prestigious Sydney private school yesterday. This follows the announcement in November that one of New South Wales most exclusive all-boys schools would start accepting girls into kindergarten and Year 5 from 2026. The...

Brisbane’s Nightlife Enriched By Thousands Of Young Blokes Just Moments Away From Breaking A Limb

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of the rowdiest cities in the Australia when it comes to nightlife, the pubs and nightclubs of Brisbane city are hurtling towards the 2032 Olympics with momentum. Aside from four weeks of lockdowns at the very start of the pandemic, the Brown Snake has not stopped growing it's night economy in recent years. Boasting mechanical bulls in the front...

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