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Fans Of 1980s Queensland Disappointed By All-Female Remake

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following on from the let down of the all-female Ghost Busters and Ocean's 11 remakes, fans of the 1980s Queensland say they are skeptical about the current state Labor government's reboot of the iconic Sir Joh-era. In this new production, the Queensland Labor are reprising all of the nostalgic...

Polynesian NRL Stars Overtake Rugby Union’s White Boys For Most Hyphenated Last Names In Sport

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the domestic football codes continue to battle for fanbases and TV Ratings both here and New Zealand, our nation's lesser-publicised but equally as serious inter-sporting rivalry has today reared its head once again. Following the 2019 NRL Grand Final, and subsequent off-season incidents currently taking place in Bali,...

Inner-City Leftie Claims To Have Had No Input In Daughter’s New Pigtails Hairstyle

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local inner-city linen-jumpsuit enthusiast has excitedly explained that her kid has started wearing the exact same hairstyle as Greta Thunberg without any encouragement. Hillary Highgate, 40, claims she's had absolutely no input her pre-teen daughter's radical change in aesthetic. "She really loves the double plait!!!!"...

Speed Cameras To Be Fitted with Instagram Filters to Appeal to Younger Demographic

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In a bid to help keep young drivers off their phones whilst driving, the Federal Government has today announced plans to outfit all speed and red light cameras with Instagram filters. Project Orange Duck, which is expected to cost taxpayers $174m, will begin in February of 2020 with a...

Boomer Who Claims People Can’t Say Anything Nowadays Also Says Protestors Should Be Run Over

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A prominent local post-war retiree has today muddied the waters of political debate by being simultaneously concerned about a lack of free speech in society while also proposing that protestors be silenced. Bruce Abbott-Howard (69) says these bloody climate do-gooders need to be run over. THE...

Palaszczuk Forms Special Branch Of Cops To Keep Tabs On The Militant Murris In Musgrave Park

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As day five of the Extinction Rebellion continues to further delay the already laughably congested Brisbane CBD, Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk is today taking her newfound brand of Bjelkism politics to a new level. Yesterday it was reported that Palaszczuk and her Deputy Jackie Trad had consulted the ghost Sir...

Ghost Of Sir Joh Tells Anna It Might Be Time For A Few Of The Activists To Start Disappearing

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As day four of the Extinction Rebellion continues to further delay the already laughably congested Brisbane CBD, both Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk and her complicit leftie in waiting Deputy Premier Jackie Trade are now looking at new measures to bring the protests to an end. Dozens of people have been...

Couple Without Children Smear Entire House In Yoghurt To See What It’s Like

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT A recently-married couple have taken the sensible precaution of smearing every single surface of their home with yoghurt to find out if they can physically and mentally withstand living with children. Longtime Betoota Heights residents Harry and Fiona Campbell visited friends and relatives with children to find out...

Local Lion Doesn’t Concern Himself With The Opinions Of Sheep

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT John Mills, former student from the School of Hard Knocks, has bombarded his Facebook page with a slew of share-if-you-agree posts. The father of three had been quiet on social media for the past month but has since made up for it by posting ten times a day....

PM Responds To Concerns Of Extinction Activists By Announcing Biblical Conservation Project

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Morrison has surprised the electorate this morning, by taking the time to address the worries of people that don't look like they vote for him. As day-four of the Extinction Rebellion protests continue to shut down the top-end of town, Morrison has revealed that he has ordered...

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