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Report: Apricot Delights By Far The Most Underrated Non-Perishable

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the nation slowly gets his head around the idea of stockpiling household items that aren't toilet paper - shopping lists that include non-perishable items are gradually being drawn in homes right across the country. Since kitchen pantries around Australia have been loaded up with tins and brown paper...

Byron Mum’s Kitchen Aesthetic Ruined As Aesop Is Joined By Hand Wash That Actually Works

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the outbreak of the new coronavirus spreading and news of how Australian politicians are responding changing every day, it can be hard to keep track of the latest information. As at 6.00am on 17 March 2020, there have been 375 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Australia - health officials say we...

Greek Easter At Yiayia’s Postponed Indefinitely After Ban On Gatherings Of Over 500 People

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Nation's Greek-Australian grandparents are very cranky this afternoon, as their grandchildren begged them to take the advice of medical experts seriously, four weeks before Orthodox Easter is set to take place. This comes as the Prime Minister and state and territory leaders want all non-essential gatherings of more...

What Is Social Distancing? Nation Advised To Behave Like A Millennial Who Took MDMA 3 Days Ago

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 'Social Distancing' is the new marketing term for doing what you can to not spread COVID-19 with the public - if you think you might have it and are awaiting test results. Anyone arriving in Australia from overseas will also be forced to engage in social distancing for 14...

5 Simple Alternatives To Shaking Hands During A Pandemic

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Now that the thousands of people who bought tickets to the Hillsong Sydney Conference have finished hugging and giving eachother high-fives, Prime Minister has told Australians to practice more "social distancing" in an effort to stop the spread of COVID-19 These measures include not shaking hands with other people and...

Scotty From Marketing Doing Pretty Well To Not Mention Anniversary Of What That Australian Did

It's currently 12:45pm of the 15th of March, and Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing appears to be giving himself the day off. Not because he is a lifelong bureaucrat who has proven unfit for the gruelling task of running a nation of 25 million people. Not because he's self-isolating to ensure...

Half Of Nation Currently In Bed Trying To Figure Out If They Have Coronavirus Or A Hangover

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Ireland and the UK make moves to temporarily close down pubs to limit social interaction, Australia is still about a week or so off from really taking this global pandemic seriously. While Australia has banned crowds at footy matches - the Prime Minister is still encouraging the public...

Peter Dutton Sends Heartbreaking Letter To Peter Dutton While Quarantined On Christmas Island

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As of 24 hours ago, The Home Affairs Minister has joined a long list of vulnerable detainees in several isolated offshore processing centres located in the oceans surrounding northern Australia. The Member For Dickson announced on Friday evening that he had tested positive for coronavirus, after being tested earlier...

Scotty From Marketing Still Intent On Making Appearance At The Sharkies, Hillsong Conference

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today vowed to attend the two very important calender events scheduled in his diary this weekend, despite coming in direct contact with a Coronavirus sufferer in the last few days. Yesterday, the Prime Minister said the Government would be recommending all non-essential gatherings...

Daniel Andrews Makes It Up To Stranded F1 Teams By Giving Them Free Rein On Great Ocean Road

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sports racing fans and drivers are raging today after learning that the pussy ass Victorian government finally crumbled and decided to implement measures that stop people from dying in preventable ways. The Australian Formula One Grand Prix has been cancelled due to the coronavirus, an hour after the Victorian...

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