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Qantas Passenger Arrives In QLD To Learn Alan Joyce Sent His Luggage To Brisbane, North Dakota

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The desecration of an Australian icon continues today, as domestic passengers across the country continue to develop a deep loathing for our flagship carrier. From wedding-ruining delays, to cancelled flights, Qantas and it's subsidiary airline Jetstar stands as a testament to the extreme decline in service that comes from replacing swathes of experienced staff with cheaper labour hire. Despite the...

Tom Cruise Returns To Japan To Avenge Shinzo Abe

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of Japan's most distinguished Samurais has returned today, with a cold plate of revenge in his heart. Hollywood actor Tom Cruise arrived at a discreet airport in rural Japan moments ago, after learning of the attempted assassination of Shinzo Abe early today. While more commonly associated with Navy jet fighters amongst Westernerss, Tom Cruise is most popular amongst the...

Panicking Public Servant Brings His Son’s Rabbitohs Poster To Work As Last Minute NAIDOC Effort

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NAIDOC week is officially underway in both schools, community groups and workplaces right across the country today. Both Indigenous and non-Indigenous Australians have gathered to pay tribute to and acknowledge the achievements, contributions and ongoing sovereignty of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people. However, for white people taking party in this annual observance, there appears to be an undertow...

Gays Told To Take A Hike As Corporations Rush To Swap Pride Symbolism For NAIDOC Symbolism

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Betoota got in early with NAIDOC festivities last week, with the news that South West Queensland’s Mithaka people now have a place to call their own - following a historic land handover ceremony, The region's Traditional Owners have taken freehold ownership of about 97 hectares of land in Betoota, which they say will be an important base for future...

Nation’s Tradies Put Down The Tools To Celebrate Annual Invoicing Day

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Small and medium-sized residential worksites across the country are at least one man down today, as the nation's tradies put down the tools to celebrate the annual post-tax-return computer blitz. Celebrated on the 1st of July every year, The Annual Invoicing Day is a moment for reflection for blue collar workers - as they look back at the financial...

Crumbling American Empire Now At The Point Where They Need To Force People To Be Born There

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the once unstoppable global superpower that was the United States Of America continues to decline into a culturally divided rabble of religious extremism and mass shootings, the Supreme Court has this week made moves to ensure the country maintains a level of patriotism required keep their military ranks full to the brim. With over 75 percent of America's...

Protestors Tackle Climate Change By Forcing Blue Collar Workers To Miss Shifts In The Middle Of A Cost-Of-Living Crisis

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Millions of more people are now 100% on board with tackling climate change, after being encouraged to join the environmentalist movement after finding themselves caught up in a clever and inclusive protest against the fossil fuel sector this morning. Half of Sydney was late for work this morning, with some not even making it to work, after dozens of...

Bob Katter Tells Albanese To Just Say The Word And We Can Begin Nationalising The Energy Grids, It Can Be Swift, And It Can Be Bloodless, Unless They Want...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the boldest act of the new Labor Government, The Australian Energy Market Operator (AEMO) has been given full support to take the extraordinary step of suspending the spot market for wholesale electricity across the country. It's the first time the market has been suspended nationally and it will be reviewed daily in each state, and signals the beginning...

Scotty Fears Aussies Won’t Know The Socceroos Won Without Any Photos Of Him In A Stupid Scarf

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The supreme and glorious Socceroos have secured the second last spot for the 2022 FIFA World Cup in Qatar, defeating Peru in a penalty shootout 5-4 thanks to a save from substitute goalkeeper Andrew 'Ned' Redmayne. As was reported earlier today in the Betoota Advocate, this nail-biting finish was met with celebrations right across the country, as the nation’s...

Sydney Bloke At Work Insists He’s Geed Up For The Footy Even Though NSW Just Don’t ‘Get’ Origin

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tonight is the night that round 1 of the fiercest rivalry in the history of Australian organised sport takes place, with the 2022 State of Origin series kicking off at 8:10pm at Sydney's Olympic stadium. With a new Queensland side made up of extremely muscular and handsome young men, answering to their refreshing and exciting new coach Billy Slater,...

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