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ScoMo Discreetly Congratulates Woolies Executives For Having A Go

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While it would be a bad look to offer his congratulations and sympathy publicly, Prime Minister Morrison has reportedly passed on his warm words of support to the Woolworths Australia. This follows the revelations that the supermarket giant have underpaid nearly 6000 staff members as much as $300 million...

Struggling Instagram Influencer Boosts Social Media Engagement By Openly Criticising China

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Living up to her self-proclaimed title of ‘natural born hustler,’ Instagram influencer Leagan Smiles (@leagansmilesalot) has come up with a way to boost her social media engagement. In the wake of Instagram removing visible likes on posts, Smiles claims to have considered viral stunts, asking people to comment and...

IMAX Cinemas Sign Multimillion Dollar Partnership With Senator Matt Canavan’s Forehead

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Senator Matt Canavan has today been forced to declare any income he has made outside of politics by renting his massive 'fivehead' to The iconic cinema chain has today put out a press release outlining the terms of the partnership. "As of next month Senator...

Nation Wondering What Mining Sector Fucken Expected Hosting Global Conference In Melbourne

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Mining industry cannot really expect any sympathy for the hostile crowds they have been exposed to this week, after deciding to host an international conference in the wokest city in the Southern Hemisphere. That's according to the rest of the nation, who can't really understand why they didn't...

95% Of Suburban Dads Now Really Regret Getting So Excited About Bamboo In The Early 2000s

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Almost every suburban dad that ever planted bamboo in his garden over in the post-Don Burke gardening renaissance of the early 2000s, is seriously regretting it. That's according to a recent report by the independent amateur horticultural body Fathers And Registered Greenthumb Males Enthusiastically Dedicated to Aesthetic Descisions (FARGMEDAD).

PM Cracks Down On Racing Industry By Threatening To Demand They Maybe Start Self-Regulating

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After the nation has been shocked to find ex-racehorses have been treated the same way as every other animal they eat, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has made a strong vague statement to anyone thinking of killing a horse. “Horse racing industry should know this is not ‘a go,’” stated...

Family Held Hostage In Front Of Laptop As Mum And Dad Go Through 124,032 Holiday Photos

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact A local family is settling in for the long haul today as their parents prepare to take them through a few holiday snaps from their trip up to the Northern Territory. John and Wendy Sheridan took off on their road trip about 3 weeks ago, driving...

Sparky Cleans Up After Himself

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The sixteen different construction workers currently onsite at a local housing development in Betoota Heights have stood in awe this afternoon, following an unprecedented show of initiative and personal responsibility by a local electrician. The alleged, Sean Gleeson (25), was seen at approximately 1:54PM with a broom in hand.

Report: Someone Threw A Kebab At Someone

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report into some shit that has kicked off outside a late night Turkish joint has found that someone threw a kebab at someone, or something like that. It is believed that the airborne kebab was the catalyst for what then resulted in a bunch of strangers throwin'...

Thousands Of Lives Ruined As Fortnite Releases 2nd Chapter 24-Hours Before First HSC Exam

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT High school teachers and parents around Australia are today in mourning, after it became clear that a good portion of this year's wave of senior students have likely destroyed all of their career prospects upon graduation. This follows the release of the newest reboot of the wildly popular video...

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