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“Scotty’s On!” Shouts Dad

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Millions of dads around the country have just demanded complete and absolute silence from the other members of the household, as the Prime Minister goes live with his most recent address. "Oi shut up!" they shout, to the wife and children, who are all currently taking part in different...

Scotty Praises Australians For Doing What They’re Fucking Told For Once

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today front the nation with a bit more spring in his step. Looking like he'd just played a round of golf, the PM brought a more optimistic energy to today's press conference - with clear instructions and answers for a nervous country heading...

Abandoned Hobart Airport Now Home To A Growing Thylacine Colony

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tasmania and Queensland have further restricted entry through their borders - allowing Australians in only if their travel is essential - in an effort to stop the community transmission of COVID-19 However, unlike Queensland, Tasmania stated it would actively turn people away rather than simply asking citizens from other...

Doctors And Nurses Even Hotter After The Whole Saving Civilisation Thing

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The age old fetishisation of healthcare workers has been ramped up over the last fortnight, as a large majority of the earth's population are ordered to stay indoors and think about sexy doctors and nurses are. In fact, according to the Google search rankings, Australians think hospital workers are...

Property Investor Worry That Her Unwashed Renters Are Starting To Get Some Big Ideas

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Federal Government has estimated at least 1 million people could become unemployed as the coronavirus pandemic closes workplaces across the country. While the mass unemployment of the nation's workers poses a massive threat to the online MyGov portal who that wasn't prepared to handle the rush of applications...

Government Demands Citizens Stay Home After We’re Finished Lining Up At Centrelink For Hours

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As updates and protocol for COVID-19 change by the minute, one set of measures that haven't changed is the need for 'social-distancing'. This term was introduced to Australians almost two weeks ago, and refers to the precautions required to maintain the personal space and hygiene needed to avoid contracting...

Rich People Don’t Get Coronavirus, Confirms 20,000 Brainless Cunts On Bondi Beach Yesterday

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's most attractive, wealthy and cultured citizens are seemingly immune to the potentially fatal effects of COVID-19, that's according to the 20,000 plus morons who decided it was appropriate to mob Bondi Beach yesterday afternoon. Images showing Sydney’s premiere Eastern Suburbs public space packed with locals and eastern suburbs...

Drug Dealers Begin Taking Measures To Fight COVID-19 Outbreak

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's drug dealers have developed an action plan to soften the impact of coronavirus on the industry, both for manufacturers, high and low level drug dealers and customers. Australia's most prominent organised crime syndicates have hosted a summit via weblink today, with representatives from each major city, to discuss...

Bob Katter Loads 12 Gauge After Hearing Faint Cough A Couple Blocks From His Electoral Office

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As of this morning, there had been 454 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Australia, including 78 in Queensland. The Sunshine state has jumped up ten cases since Tuesday, which may have been caused by Peter Dutton bringing it back into the country from his recent trip overseas. While major...

Portsea Wedding Venues Brace For Carnage Of Bridezillas Inconvenienced By This Stupid Pandemic

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT If having to cancel months worth of bookings wasn't stressful enough, those employed in Australia's wedding industry are expecting the very worst from the imminent wave of emails and phone calls related to the COVID-19 related cancellations. The government's social distancing recommendations remain firmly in place, including advice not...

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