Sports

Anna Calls On Lang Park To Rise And Boo Rest Of The Country In 20th Minute Of NRL Grand Final

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As another major sporting code prepares to do a Grand Final a little bit differently, the hosts of the NRL decider have issued an interesting plea. Following in the footsteps of Perth Mayor Basil Zempilas, Queensland has called on fans to rise to their feet in a special Grand Final tribute. However, rather than applaud the rest of...

Demons Fan Can’t Wait To Rub It In His Coworker’s Face When They Go Back To Work In 3 Months

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Melbourne Demons ended a 57-year drought on Saturday night by defeating their cross-city rivals the Western Bulldogs, to win the 2021 Grand Final. The weary Demons fanbase, many of whom have never known the joy of winning a flag in their lifetimes, weren't treated to the easiest 80 grand final minutes - as they white knuckled through the...

Australia Now In Alternative Universe Where Melbourne Wins The AFL But Don’t Even Make NRL GF

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation is today currently locked in some alternate parallel universe, where everything we understand to be true has been flipped on its head. This comes after the Melbourne Demons stormed home to beat the Western Bulldogs in last nights AFL Grand Final in Perth. The 77 points win off the back of an incredible goal burst in...

Oat Milk Ad During Grand Final Broadcast A Fair Indication That Melbourne Demons Are Playing

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Although most people in the Southern, Western, and Central Northern regions would already be aware, there has been official confirmation this evening that the Melbourne Demons are playing in the AFL Grand Final.  This verification comes after TV viewers were assaulted by an ad for oat milk, reminding sports fans that the inner-city Dees are playing in tonight’s match.  They...

Report: Bit Humid In Brissy?

With more dropped balls than head knocks, the semi final showdown between the Storm and the Panthers has the rest of the rugby league world wondering what the weather is like in Brissy. In fact, the nut is so slippery, this game is starting to resemble a Warriors v Cowboys match Townsville. With no visible rain coming through on the broadcast,...

Leathery Surf Club Mum Reckons Some Of Those Islander Boys Aren’t Too Hard On The Eyes

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local Northern Beaches surf club matriarch has today disgusted her teenage sons by revealing she is still able to recognise sexually attractive men. This comes as the Manly Sea-Eagles get set to take on the South Sydney Rabbitohs in a do or die battle for a spot in the Grand Final. While enjoying some Friday night footy, 54-year-old Brookie...

Billy Slater To Bring Back QLD Origin Tradition Of Making Debutants Drink 15L Drum Of Molasses

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Sunshine State's emerging rugby talent are very nervous today, after news broke that the Queensland Origin side is set to revisit the hard but fair initation rituals of yesteryear. This comes after this morning's news that Maroons and Melbourne Storm legend Billy Slater has been announced as the next Queensland State of Origin coach - after accepting an...

South Yarra Man In Heaven Right Now With Demons In The GF And The Union Movement Falling Apart

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After nearly 250 days in lockdown, citywide riots and an earthquake to match - life isn't that pleasant for Melbourne residents at the moment. That is, for most of them anyway. But not for every heart that beats true for the red and blue. Life's actually quite good for Melbourne's inner-city elite, because this Sunday at 5.50pm (Perth time), a football...

Team That’s Lost 9 Out Of Last 10 Tests In Australia Apparently Too Important For Quarantine

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news that will not shock cricket fans, the English Cricket Board and their team are carrying on again. Facing the daunting prospect of getting whitewashed in the blistering Australian sun, the powers of English cricket are pretending like they are up in arms about the conditions they'll be subjected to. Currently, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison...

Fans Of Team That Scored A Single Try In 80 Minutes, Still Blowing Up About Trainer Stoppage

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Blue and Gold Army have not calmed down, it can be confirmed today. With a few days of water under the bridge since their Elimination Final loss to old foes the Penrith Panthers, it's been revealed that the whinging has not eased one little bit. This comes as Parramatta Eels fans continue to complain about the Panthers'...

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