Sports

V’Landys Gives Every NRL Club Permission To Throw Closed Fists This Weekend In Memory Of Tommy

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As NRL clubs prepare break out the black tape in tribute to passing one of the game's most iconic characters, several other memorials are being planned to take place throughout the round 5 fixtures. Tommy Raudonikis's death at age 70 from cancer yesterday has cast a solemn shadow across the game, as the rugby league community comes to terms...

Saint Peter Orders A Pallet Of Tooheys New Cans, Puts An Extra Bouncer On In The TAB Upstairs

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The venue manager at the pearly gates has today rushed to get everything in order for the arrival of one of rugby leagues great characters. Western Sydney icon Tommy Raudonikis has died at the age of 70, following a lengthy battle with cancer - one that lasted much longer than anyone thought it would. Born in 1950 to a Swiss...

NRL Facing Critical Shortage Of Nicknames With Three Different Blokes Now Known As ‘Big Papi’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It seems the days of The Raging Bull, The Pearl, El Magic and The Hitman are over, as the NRL comes to terms with the fact that they are facing a concerning lack of imagination when it comes to nicknaming players. This follows last week's round of rugby league football, where at least three different players were referred to...

NRL Achieves Gender Equality Targets After Womens Player Charged With Bashing A Few Bouncers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After working tirelessly to build Australian Womens rugby league up to a semi-professional standard, the NRL is today celebrating a new milestone in gender equality. The NRLW is officially a major rugby league competition, after one of their stars reportedly bashed a couple bouncers at Northies over the weekend. Northies, an iconic mega-scale watering hole in the Shire, has previously...

Penrith Vs Manly Match Potentially Called Off After UN Sends In Troops To Stop The Slaughter

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tonight's Round 4 NRL match between the Penrith Panthers and the Manly Sea Eagles is at risk of being called off, after several international human rights groups have voiced their intention to intervene. Amnesty International, Red Cross and the United Nations Human Rights Commission have all released statement condemning the NRL's decision to let a lacklustre Manly side attempt...

Kostya’s Boy Is The Real Deal, Confirms Pop

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's number one boxing prospect is now sitting at 18-wins and 0 losses, after a spectacular fifth round TKO last night. Timmy Tszyu, the prodigal son of Kostya, also now moves to a professional record of 14 knockouts. After already matching the shadow of his father with an eighth round TKO against Jeff Horn in August last year. Since then he...

PM To Repair Misogynistic Image By Attending 19 Rounds Of All Mens Football Codes This Weekend

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Monday's Federal Cabinet reshuffle has failed to impress anyone, unsurprisingly, as our government continues to burn through MPs that can string a sentence at an alarming rate since Abbott. This follows the accelerated implosion of the Coalition government, that has seen over three Federal MPs sent home on paid mental health leave, after being accused of either sexually assaulting...

PM Shakes Hands With Entire Parramatta Side Without Realising He’s Not In Sharks Change Rooms

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scott Morrison has embarrassed himself over the weekend with a catastrophic gaffe at the Parramatta Eels vs Cronulla Sharks match. His appearance at Bankwest Stadium for an NRL match was a very important outing for the Prime Minister, as he strives to continue showing up for photo shoots that make him like a good bloke. After a weekend of...

Scotty’s Footy Photo Opp Backfires As He Gets Taken Off The Field For Head Injury Assessment

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In an attempt to get a good photo Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison attended an NRL game. After being highly criticised around this time last year for ignoring social distancing by attending a Cronulla Sharks game, Mr Morrison decided to do so again, apparently deciding it would be a step up from ignoring workplace sexual assault and misconduct. “We’ve got...

Fox Sports And Nine Quietly Get To Work Editing Out Certain Clips From Origin Highlights Reels

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In some breaking news, both Channel 9 and Fox Sports have told their archivers and video editors to get to work immediately this afternoon. It is believed that due to some developments in a court case down in New South Wales today, there is now a lot of blue coloured film on the cutting room floor of both North...

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