Sports

NRL Clubs Worried About Player Code-Hopping After Big Week Of Cocaine And Sex Scandals In AFL

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The CEO of the NRL has fronted the media this afternoon, joined by representatives from all sixteen clubs, in what many have described as the second darkest day in sport. While the game recovers from a big year of salary cap scandals and ex-player court appearances, the game's executives say there are still rougher seas ahead. CEO Todd Greenberg say...

NZ Prime Minister Suggests Blindfolding All Blacks Backline In Generous Foreign Aid Initiative

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Just when you thought she couldn't even be any more compassionate and kindhearted than she already is, New Zealand's Prime Minister Jacinda Adern has today announced plans to help developing countries feel like they are playing remotely competitive rugby union. This comes as The Wallabies camp suffer a cruel injury blow with Reece Hodge ruled out of the spring...

Rising Tennis Star’s Dad Praised For Going Full Season Without Following An Umpire To His Car

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a feel-good story coming out of Betoota's Flightpath District today, a local tennis dad has managed to make it to the very end of the season without threatening the life of any chair umpires. Dennis Nikolic, the 44-year-old father and coach of his young daughter Anna has had a chequered past. Like many other tennis dads, his emotions can at...

Fourth Grade Cricketer Blames Barely Visible Sun For His Three Dropped Catches, Batting

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota Dugongs batsman was left ruing the elements this weekend, after a somewhat lacklustre performance in the field. Declan Johnson (26) who plays in the lowest grade for the Dugongs, started off this year's cricket season with a bang, of sorts. After making a gritty 7 of 32 balls with the bat, Johnson looked to keep things ticking over...

Shane Warne’s Publishers Hastily Revise Book Cover After Historic Draw In Dubai Overnight

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Twenty-four hours ago, arguably the greatest living cricketer made a series of claims and criticisms against the Australian cricket team which have since been proven to be unfounded and downright incorrect. Shane Warne lashed out at the batting line up in particular last night as he gave the tourists zero chance of pulling off one of...

Wallabies Come-From-Behind Victory Proves Nothing Is Wrong At Rugby Australia

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Wallabies are back in winning form and ready to win the Rugby World Cup in Japan next year. That's the message today from rugby union's governing body, Rugy Australia. Sunday morning local time, the boys in gold took on the Pumas at altitude in Argentina and at halftime, looked to be going down in spectacular,...

Woman Blamed For Cancellation Of TV Show That Should’ve Ended When She Was In High School

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In heartbreaking news for anyone with a lifetime of nostalgia to misplace, Channel Nine  has confirmed that network executives have decided the NRL Footy Show concept will not return in any format in 2019. The network released a statement confirming it is moving to revolutionise its rugby league coverage after another year of disastrous ratings, which many producers put down...

Wallabies Fan Who Stayed Up To Watch Them Doesn’t Know How Much Faith He Can Keep

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact At one o'clock last Saturday morning, a local rugby fan threw caution to the wind and decided to stay up until fourish to watch the down-on-their-luck Qantas Wallabies take on the Springboks. Matthew Longford-Coleman likened staying up that late to see the men in gold play away to gambling - saying that it could be...

Sydney Roosters Administrators Immediately Begin Shredding Documents

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the Sydney Rooster's 21-6 win over the Melbourne Storm, executive staffmembers ordered to watch the fort at the Roosters' HQ have immediately begun destroying any form of a paper trail. This includes third-party contracts, players contracts and of course any minutes of any meeting with Eastern Suburbs business owners that may or may not have resulted in a...

Conor McGregor’s Team Bug Local Pub To Hear What Fan Reckons Will Help Him Beat Khabib

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact An unlikely tactic of Conor McGregor’s team has emerged today after a small covert listening device was found under the table at Betoota’s Imperial Hotel. The Advocate can confirm that head coach John Kavanagh has been planting bugs in pubs all across Betoota in the lead up to his fight against Dagestanian Khabib Nurmagomedov to...

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