Sports

Cheerful Rural Fireys Call It A Day And Get Ready To Cheer The Boys On Over In Perth

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The firefighters battling blazes across the Eastern Seaboard have decided to finally call it a day. As the nation prepares to take on New Zealand in what looms as a mouthwatering matchup with a strong Kiwi team, the call of 'hoses down' has rung out around the bush.

NRL Tells Players To Head Down To Bondi Now And Squeeze In A Few Benders While No One Can See

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Earlier today, NSW Health officials recommended that Sydney residents stay indoors between 11.00am and 4.00pm if possible, as the combination of a 30-40 degree day and severe air pollution may present severe health risks for the elderly and those with respiratory issues. While dense bushfire smoke has been...

Cronulla Sharks Refuse To Explain Where All Their New Russian Players Have Come From

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The fallout from the World Anti Doping Agency's (WADA) decision to ban Russia from all major international sporting events has reached the Shire this morning. WADA took the decision after concluding that Moscow had tampered with laboratory data by planting fake evidence and deleting files linked to positive...

Mildly Exciting Summer Of Cricket Fails To Distract Nation From 2.4M Acres Of Scorched Earth

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minster Scott Morrison is today panicking after being forced to ditch his plan to hide behind Australia's love of sport to avoid any further discussion of climate change - and recent funding cuts to emergency services. After Australian convincingly cat-and-moused a war-weary Pakistani side at an array...

Latrell Mitchell Looking Forward To Finding Out Who He’s Negotiating With Tomorrow

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Rugby League star Latrell Mitchell has today revealed he's stoked to find out who he's been negotiating with today, tomorrow. The 22-year-old back to back NRL premiership winner, State of Origin winner, Kangaroo and Dally M Centre of The Year, said he's really looking forward to learning about...

Righto, That’ll Do For The Week

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Yeah, that's it. Wrap it up. That will just about do it for the week a brand new report has revealed. This comes as the boys start getting into it for the Day-Night Test down in Adelaide, and the hot...

Terrified NRL CEO Freezes As Vibrations Of Incoming Off-Season Ripple Through Glass Of Water

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After almost two months since the final whistle blew of the 2019 NRL season, things have gone quiet. Almost too quiet. That's according to the long-suffering NRL executives and club boards. Given it is actually the off-season, so footballers aren't playing football at...

Rugby’s Size For Age Policy Scrapped After Dad Confirms The Bigger They Are The Harder They Fall

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After growing public pressure regarding the controversial Size For Age Policy, the Sydney Junior Rugby Union has been forced to cave. Following allegations, an 11-year-old was forced off the field halfway through an Under 11s/12s game because of his size, the SJRU and Rugby in general, has hosted...

150kg Plumber From Betoota 4th-Grade Also Suing ARU Over Claim He Coulda Captained Wallabies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local brown-trout fisherman, Jeremy Dunning (37) has today arrived in Sydney with his local solicitor to begin court proceedings against Rugby Australia. Jeremy claims the Wallabies would have put in a "superior performance" if he had been selected for the 2019 Rugby World Cup in Japan and he could...

LaMelo Ball Sets Aussie Basketball Alight After Becoming First NBL Player To Dunk

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Teen sensation LaMelo Ball has wowed the Australian basketball fraternity again this week. The much-hyped young star who skipped American College Basketball to play for the Illawarra Hawks in the NBL has officially become the first-ever NBL player to dunk. A slam dunk, or simply...

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