Sports

Sydney Roosters Sign NRL Journeyman Who Isn’t That Integral To Any Other Club’s Performance

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Sydney Roosters have shocked the greater NRL community today by announcing that they've signed a new footballer who hasn't even won a premiership at another club, or even a Dally M. The player, 31-year-old Levi Parsonson, has been a mainstay of mid-season NRL for the last decade -...

Sport Based Around Men Fighting Like Animals Pressured To Ditch Archaic Concept Of Ring Girls

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the newest win for middle-class white feminism, promoters of Saturday night’s Battle of Bendigo boxing match between Jeff Horn and Michael Zerafa decided at the last minute to sack their ring girls, after coming under fire from activists groups. The newest example of the prudish stigmatisation of sex...

Scomo Tells The Missus To Clear The Schedule, He’s Not Missing Paul Graham’s Last Home Game

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has informed his wife that he hopes she doesn't have anything planned this weekend. Speaking to The Advocate this afternoon, Scomo explained that he's told his staffers, and his family to clear his schedule for this weekend, cause he's 'Out of Office.'

Hipster NRL Star Shows Off Cultural Side And Books Post-Season Holiday Not In Bali Or Phuket

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A trendy NRL player has decided to show off his sensitive side this week by booking himself a trip to somewhere in Europe. The Gold Coast-based star named Brayden Lucas has informed his Instagram followers that he's not a 'dumb jock like the rest of the meatheads' he...

Bulldogs Decide On Hosting Mad Monday In Glass Box In Middle Of Circular Quay

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Deciding to one-up their efforts form last year the Canterbury Bankstown Bulldogs are set to go even bigger for Mad Monday this year. In a move that's set to enrage bosses at NRL HQ, the Bulldogs have confirmed that they'll be having their Mad Monday inside a glass...

Cricket Sometimes Sucks

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Ben Stokes has joined the long list of Kiwi sportsmen and women to break Australia's heart this year, with his unbelievable century to steer England to a miraculous one-wicket win in the third Test at Headingley. England were faced with the laughable prospect of chasing down 359 — the...

Steve Smith Concussion Far Worse Than First Thought After Batsman Begins Posting Folau Memes

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's premier batsman Steve Smith's day 4 concussion at Lords looks like it may have resulted in long-term affects, after he began posting the types of memes you only post after a decade long career playing full contact sport professionally. Smudge was officially ruled out of Thursday’s third Test because...

Queenslander Tears Crotch Out Of His Moleskins Attempting To Board Brisbane Lions Bandwagon

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has today had to issued a safety warning to all residents attempting to jump on the Brisbane Lions bandwagon currently hurtling through the Smart State at full tilt. This comes after reports of number of disenfranchised Brisbane Broncos and Queensland Reds fans ruining their moleskin...

Stadium Under Fire After Venue Staff Forget To Play Pre-Match Joker And The Thief On PA

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A suburban Rugby League ground is currently at the centre of a media storm, as they face questions over a major mistake made on the weekend. The ground, once iconically named after it's locality but now named after some large company looking for a unique marketing angle are...

Victorian Who Helped Boo Australian Of Year Into Retirement Disgusted By English Cricket Fans

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A Melbournian who did his bit to boo an Australian of the Year and two time Brownlow Medalist into retirement, has lashed out 'disrespectful' English fans today. This comes after pockets of the English crowd at Lords Cricket Ground booed Steve Smith as he returned to bat following...

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