Sports

Prime Minister Reveals The Bulldogs Performance On The Weekend Was The Work Of The Devil

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today shared some more revelations about the magic sky men who he says control our world - revealing that the devil was hard at work over the weekend. "What those 17 men from the Canterbury Bankstown region of Sydney did to the mighty Sharks on the weekend, was the work of the devil,"...

Wests Tigers Reportedly Offer Benji Marshall A $1.2 Million A Year, 5 Year Contract

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact After earning the South Sydney Rabbitohs a heart-pumping win last night, it looks as though Benji Marshall may have landed himself a fairly sizeable payday as well. The former Wests-Tigers premiership-winning five-eigth was sensational in his new side's exhilarating 40-30 victory over the Titans last night, scoring a couple and setting up a couple more. And now, the...

Paul Gallen Punches Another Man As Hard As He Can In The Brain Until It Stops Working

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former NRL star Paul Gallen has only further clarified to the world that he has what it takes to physically and mentally incapacitate middle-aged men with his closed fists, after knocking out former world champion Lucas 'Big Daddy' Browne last night in the first round of their long-awaited heavyweight bout in Wollongong. The 42-year-old Browne, a former Australian...

NSW Police Getting Itchy After Nearly 6 Months Without Assaulting A Canberra Raiders Player

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 22-year-old Tom Starling will run on for the Canberra Raiders this weekend, after a turbulent off-season that saw him brutalised by NSW Police officers during an incident on the Central Coast at Christmas - before charged with five counts of assaulting an officer in the execution of duty, affray and resisting arrest. Starling's charges were eventually dropped in...

Nature Is Healing: NRL Player Gets Caught Rooting In Nightclub Toilet Like It’s 2019

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In some positive news for our health system and state governments, the media is reporting that a 'well-known' NRL player has been caught chonging in a nightclub toilet over the weekend. There has never been a more telling sign that our public health experts have managed to eliminate all community spread of this horrible virus, as our rugby...

Liverpool Hire Former Adelaide Rams Captain Kerrod Walters To Oversee Super League Transition

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Twelve of the biggest football (soccer) clubs in the history of organised sport are this week facing a PR disaster of monumental proportions. European football administrators, players and bodies have threatened to boycott any of these major clubs that join a villainous breakaway competition, one that would see them compete in an exclusive tournament every year without even having to...

Rugby League Experts Agree Trent Barrett Is Too Hot To Win The Comp

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Ask any armchair NRL expert and they’ll tell you that Trent Barrett’s Canterbury Bulldogs have no chance of winning the comp, all because they can’t win a single game of footy and can barely score a try. Following the teams’ humiliating loss to literally every team in the comp armchair experts are quick to brand the Bulldogs as having...

Broncos Fan On Top Of The World After His Team Loses To A Bunch Of Teenagers By Only 8 Points

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The River City is filled with optimism today, after their dramatic 20-12 loss to the Penrith Panthers at Suncorp Stadium last night. After averaging 8 points per match for the last two seasons, and finishing with a wooden spoon in 2020 - the Brisbane Broncos are now at the point where the fans "losing by not much" is almost...

Report: Papalii’s Mullet Really Starting To Find Some Form Heading Into Round 6

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT This weekend Josh "The Logan Wrecking Ball" Papalii will notch up 225 games for the Canberra, and with an opposition like Parramatta, there's good odds on him adding to his 53 NRL tries. 2021 will likely see the most versatile prop in the game make over 20 appearance for Queensland in the State Of Origin, and will add much...

Rugby League Icon Tommy Raudonikis To Be Given State Funeral At Leichhardt On Sunday

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the nation mourns the passing of Rugby League's greatest character, NRL officials have confirmed that Tommy Raudonikis will receive a State Funeral this weekend. However, rather than receive a service in the city as politicians and 'culturally important people' like Carla Zampatti do, Tommy Terrific will instead be honoured with a full house a Leichhardt oval for...

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