Sports

P-Plater Forced To Catch The Bus After Car Stereo Breaks Down

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Jack Hennings’ day took a turn for the worse on Tuesday after a blown fuse caused his car’s multi-hundred dollar sound system to break down, rendering the car virtually immobile.    “This is ridiculous” said Jack, in a loudly expressed statement. “It’s probably just a twenty cent fuse and...

Panthers Leagues Club Now Playing OneFour In All Venues And Elevators Ahead Of Finals

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT All twelve restaurants and all six bars within the iconic Penrith Panthers leagues club have been directed to only play Mount Druitt drill rap for the remainder of the NRL season. This new policy has reportedly come from the very top, as Panthers icon Gus Gould moves to...

Blocker Makes Interesting Observation That A Good Team Will Be Hard To Beat If They Play Good

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the NRL tightens up through the final round of the season before the Mad Mondays begin, rugby league analysts and commentators are throwing around more wisdom than you'd hear along the plank of timber that separates the clubhouse from the stadium seating at a suburban oval. While Bryan...

Eric The Eel Added To Parramatta’s Team Of The Century

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In commemoration of one of the most memorable moments in Australian history, cult hero Eric The Eel has been named in the Parramatta Eels team of the century. Eric Moussambani was given the honour during a special virtual ceremony earlier today, nearly 20 years after he took to the...

NRL Fans Still Waiting For Sonny Bill To Sonny Bill Someone

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Sydney Rooster's late inclusion to the 2020 squad is still yet to reach his 2004, or even 2012, potential when it comes to inflicting the most physical pain legally allowed on a rugby league field. Sonny Bill Williams impressed in his brief appearances for the boys from Bondi...

NSW Police Hire Willie Mason As Rugby League Liaison Officer Following Curtis Scott Incident

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The NSW Police have today announced changes to their engagement with the rugby league community, after NRL Curtis Scott was cleared of all wrongdoing with the emergence of shocking police bodycam footage of his brutal arrest. The 22-year-old was arrested on Australia Day when police found him lying unconscious...

NRL Judiciary Suspends The Entire Sharks Team For Their Performance Against The Knights

BEAU RIVERS | Local News | Contact The NRL judiciary has tonight handed down an entirely fair and reasonable decision, suspending the entire Cronulla-Sutherland outfit for this weekend's game against the Warriors.  The decision comes after the club embarrassed itself last week against a similarly positioned Knights team in the race for the finals.

Mate Gets Sent Off By The Boys For An HIA After Talking Too Much Shit At The Pub

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local pub patron has today been sent to the bar by his mates for an HIA, after talking a concerning amount of shit. Usually reserved for rugby league knock-outs and the occasional high-impact header in soccer, an HIA stands for 'Head Injury Assesment' and is treated extremely seriously...

Tennis World Unanimously Sympathises With US Line Judge After Clarification It Wasn’t Ellen

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The tennis fraternity is today unanimously piling on Novak Djokovic, after the background of the US Open Line judge he hit was revealed. While the majority of people who follow the sport were of the opinion that his behaviour was unacceptable and he should have known better, some...

1:15PM Monday Sleep-In Sets Horrible Precedent For Local JobKeeper

LOUIS BOURKE | Culture | CONTACT Local Jobkeeper recipient Olivia Siska (32) has put herself behind the 8 ball from the get-go this week with an ill-planned Monday morning sleep in. Due to the economic impact of COVID-19 and recession the coalition government swears would never have happened otherwise, Siska was stood down from her...

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