Sports

NRL Designs New Pride Jersey For Fans Who Are Fundamentally Opposed To Sinful Sea Eagles Symbols

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The catastrophic binfire caused by the Manly Sea Eagles media team's attempt to be the first NRL club to wear a LGBTI pride jersey, without any consultation of players and coaching staff until it was made public via press release, continues to burn out of control. While coach Des Hasler has done well to put out the culture wars...

Manly Coach Des Hasler Orders Mandatory Screening Of ‘Philadelphia’ After Pride Round Drama

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The silvertails of the NRL are in crisis talks today, after their own players pushed back against playing with certain symbols on their jerseys. It’s not alcohol or predatory online gambling logos that has caused this drama, but a strip of rainbow colours aimed at showing solidarity with gay people. While the Manly Sea Eagles had...

NBL Players To Be Compensated For New Christmas Day Clashes With $20 JB Hi-Fi Vouchers

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some exciting news for the nation, the National Basketball League has today revealed that they will be playing games on Christmas Day! Giving in to the request that everyone has been hanging out for, the NBL has expanded its schedule to include games on Christmas. Continuing on in their quest to dominate Australia's sporting landscape, the NBL is...

Nikita Tszyu Rushes Home From Fight To Watch Latest Episode Of Attenborough’s Prehistoric Planet

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The dark horse of Aussie boxing continues to surprise fans today, as Nikita Tszyu makes it clear that the lavish lifestyle commonly associated with champion fighters is not for him. Both Nikita and the prodigal brother Ben Horn put on a stellar six round scrap in Sydney last night, after "The Butcher" put away his last two opponents within...

Pressure Mounts On Jordan Simi To Not Pull A 2009 Ben Creagh While In Ring With Hodges Tonight

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT One of the nation's newest boxing stars is today preparing for his moment in the spotlight. The new era Sydney socialite Jordan Simi is entering his final preparations to take on Queensland and Brisbane hero Justin Hodges. With just two weeks prep under his belt the Youtuber, podcaster, artist and micro-influencer says he's confident of taking it to...

“Packer Was A Genius Inventing World Series Cricket” Says Old Bastard That Reckons Greg Norman Is Ruining Golf

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of our town's elders has spoken this morning so we as a community must listen, according to the elder. The President of the Royal Betoota Country Club has broken his silence on the controversy surrounding the sport his organisation has made inaccessible to locals who were born in the wrong postcode to parents that...

Justin Hodges To Fight His Niece’s Bartender Boyfriend As Undercard To Nikita Tszyu V Ben Horn

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Maroons great Justin Hodges continues his heavyweight boxing career this Wednesday, as he re-enters the ring at Sydney's Hordern Pavilion to take on his niece's flakey boyfriend Wolfgang 'Wolfie' Grouse (23). As a part-time bartender from the Gold Coast, Mr Grouse will be making his professional boxing debut, after agreeing to fight his misso's uncle during a firey argument...

Jacinda Ardern Facing Calls To Resign After All Blacks Lose A Series On Home Soil

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Prime Minister of New Zealand is today facing a potentially career-ending crisis. Jacinda Ardern has moved to try and bring calm across the nation after rioters took to the streets over the weekend. With cars and buildings smoldering in major regional villages, Ardern has implored the public to trust that things can be turned around. "Please, I...

Paul Kent Surprisingly Not As Concerned About Loyalty Of NRL Stars Deciding To Play For England

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The genius NRL analysts at Fox Sports have this week revealed that they are less concerned by NRL stars deciding to play for European nations in the Rugby League World Cup. After boring NRL fans to tears with thinly-veiled xenophobia directed at Polynesian footballers wanting to play for the country their parents migrated from, the likes of Paul Kent...

SCG Roof King Banned From Standing In Queues To Buy Piss And Standing In Queues To Piss Out Piss For Life

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Sydney man has been banned by Rugby Australia from attending their fixtures until he dies, according to a statement released by the nation's peak rugby body this morning. The statement included a number of criticisms of the man, who's been named by the media as SCG Roof King, that include the selfishness of...

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