Sports

Turnbull Sends Thank You Card To The Roosters For Helping Him Refine His Hospital Pass Skills

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After successfully evading the wrath of two Royal Commissions, the mass resignations of female Liberal MPs and record-breaking dip in approval ratings, former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has today sent a special thank you to his mates at the Eastern Suburbs District Rugby League Football Club. According to sources...

AFLX To Introduce Tables, Ladders, Chairs

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The constantly roasted AFLX competition, which takes place tonight in the Victorian capital, has today announced the introduction of tables, ladders and chairs - in an effort to spice up the already weird as fuck code of football. The latest innovation is an attempt at maintaining the focus on...

Parramatta Fans Relishing Team’s Recent Mid Table Form

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact As another weekend ticks over, long-suffering Parramatta Eels fans have something to celebrate this Monday. After another lossless week, fans of the once mighty Blue and Gold are revelling in their team's recent resurgence of form. Following a weekend without failure, something Eels fans...

Addidas Develop New NRL Style Footy Boot Featuring Ankle Bracelet Compatibility

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Moving with the times, popular sports brand Adidas have today announced the release of a new range of football boots. The second largest sportswear company in the world made the announcement this morning, unveiling their new styles ahead of the 2019 winter codes season. Notably,...

News Corp Editor Sacked After Soccer Somehow Finds It’s Way Onto Back Page

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A Sports Editor at one of Murdoch's esteemed Australian publication's has been told to find work elsewhere today. The man in charge of the back page was hauled over the coals by the paper's Editor this morning after a story on the round ball game somehow managed to slip...

Bloke Who Reckons He Has A Bit Of Go About Him Dislocates Shoulder In Touch Game

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local man who has spent the majority of his adult life talking up his sporting ability, has today had the wind knocked out of his sails after dislocating his shoulder within the first 5 minutes of a social game of touch football. As the name implies, touch is...

4th Graders Urged To Get Down To Training Before Coach Selects Himself As Full Back For Trial

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The fourth-grade battlers down at the Betoota Dolphins have been warned on the club's Facebook group today to get down to training next week or face the consequences. With 'strong numbers' showing up to training last night according to the club captain, this season bills to be a...

Report: 3rd Grade Coach Actually Not Joking About Pre Season Training Starting Before Christmas

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Much to the amusement of many at the Betoota Dolphins club, it has been confirmed today that the Reserve Grade coach wasn't actually joking when he said that there would be pre-season training this week. Chris Walker has shocked the club and the members of the 3rd-grade squad when he posted a sternly worded message in the club's Facebook...

Nation Appoints Warnie As New Chairman Of Selectors

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news out of Cricket Australia, the country's greatest ever bowler has just been appointed as the Chairman of Selectors. The sensational move from the cricketing organisation, see Trevor Hohns sacked with Shane Keith Warne appointed in his place. The King of Spin was reportedly appointed as his successor in an effort by Cricket Australia to stem the...

Cricket Australia Waiting To See How We Go In Perth Before They Decide If We Can Sledge Again

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The body governing the game of cricket in Australia has confirmed today that it's not at panic stations just yet. Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this morning, Cricket Australia's CEO Kevin Roberts informed us that they are holding tight for now. This comes after the Australian side's first test loss to India on home soil in 10 years and a string of...

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