The Nation

Fashion Brand Wonders How Long Until It Can Go Back To Posting Photos Of Solely White Models

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact For the past few weeks plenty of fashion brands all across the world have been making the very public pledge to start and represent more people of colour in all of their communications, both in real life, print and online. And while this is all well and good on...

Authorities Loosen Restrictions On Wedding Numbers Provided Guests Bring Their Own Banknotes

ERROR PARKER | Editor-at-large |Contact The Federal Health Minister has recommended the states and territories roll back restrictions on wedding numbers today provided each guest brings their own banknotes. Greg Hunt explained to the media this afternoon in Canberra that many of the coronavirus infections that happened earlier this year at...

‘Dog On The Tuckerbox’ Statue Vandalised After Allegations He Ran Over Fresh Pour Of Concrete

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT The recent enthusiasm for addressing the complicated legacies of famous statues has reached all the way to Snake Gully, on the outskirts of Gundagai today with news that protestors have vandalised the iconic 'Dog On The Tuckerbox' monument. The attack on the statue follows revelations the careless canine ruined...

Britain’s NHS Looking Forward To Another Round Of Clapping

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The National Health Service has confirmed this morning that they are eagerly awaiting another round of gratifying clapping. Speaking out the front of one of the many inundated hospitals in the United Kingdom a spokesperson for the health system that's had to cop the brunt of a coronavirus...

“Alan Joyce Should Resign,” Says Bloke With Two Payday Loans And A Frozen Mortgage

ERROR PARKER | Editor-at-large |Contact A local man who's taken the opportunity to freeze his mortgage to increase his disposable income in recent months has slammed Qantas CEO Alan Joyce's decision to cut jobs in the middle of a pandemic. Doug Taylor, a Betoota Heights Jim's Antenna Franchisee, has called on...

Local Pom Expects Whole Planet To Know What Part Of UK His Underwhelming Hometown Is Located

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local Brit that isn't from London, Scotland or any of those cities with the soccer teams, is offended that you've never heard about the shithole he calls home. The 31-year-old middle-management white collar migrant who lives in Betoota's boring outer-inner-city apartment precinct has met yet another Australian who...

Mel Gibson Sacked After Talking Like A Private Schoolboy After A Few White Wines

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Mel Gibson has been sacked from his latest project after being accused of anti-Semitic and anti-gay comments by acclaimed actress Wynona Ryder. The American-born actor slash director slash producer was said to have asked Wynona if she was an 'oven dodger' and if he now...

Local Swagman Hired By Victorian Labor After Proving Branch Stacking Abilities Around Campfire

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In an unusual move, Victorian Labor has employed a former swagman, with no political experience whatsoever, as an advisor. The appointment came as a surprise to those outside the party, with the reason only revealed to those inside the party weeks later. “I was just looking...

Local Man Visits Melbourne

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights business manager has tried to avoid a costly trip to the sickly south for weeks but it soon became an impossibility after a recent resignation within the company. Mark Dollarhyde touched down in Melbourne this morning amid the fallout from his Victorian...

Nationals Rush To Further Defund Rural Education After Voters Realise CSG Isn’t Good For Farms

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The National Party has today announced plans to strip even more funding away from rural education, after it became apparent that their usually compliant constituents were starting to learn big words. The growing oppositions towards coal seam gas projects in regional Australia is becoming an issue for both the...

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