The Nation

Sky News Panelists Outraged By Updated Nursery Rhyme Lyrics In “Old McDonald Had A Wind Farm”

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A group of Sky News panelists experienced what they referred to as ‘the worst outrage ever’ this week after discovering the lyrics to an updated nursery rhyme titled “Old McDonald Had A Wind Farm.”  According to the program, the updated nursery rhyme originated from just one alternative daycare...

Report: Dog Booties Most Adorable Form Of Animal Abuse

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Animal rights activists are more empowered than ever before as white people rush to support a cause that doesn’t make them feel like the problem at every turn. In the past 10 years huge advancements have been made for animal rights including Sweden banning the boiling of live...

“I’m The Big Dog” Says Bloke Who Isn’t The Big Dog

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An ambitious local man has been campaigning on-and-off for several years now with a self-given nickname that suggests he is at the top of the food chain in his social circle. When asked where his nickname came from, Stuart Williams just shrugs and says "everyone calls me it" "Because it's true" The 28-year-old online butcher sales rep has even gone as...

Local Woman Begins Comparing Hand Sizes With Crush In A Last Ditch Effort To Drill It Home

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT An impromptu picnic in the park session has today seen a potential match engage in a strangely endearing courting ritual, it’s reported. Witnesses say that the woman, Claire, was seen shooting glances at a similarly interested young gentleman for most of the afternoon but appeared to have trouble...

OPINION: “I’m Not A Racist, Some Of My Best Toys Are Golliwogs!”

ANTHONY SOCKET | Conservative Opinions | CONTACT There's a saying that goes ‘you’re never too old for toys’ but can our toys be too old for us? We may never know as nowhere in the original saying does it stipulate what should happen in the event that a toy ages in a human-like fashion.

Entrepreneur From Hometown Finally Settles On A Business Idea That Isn’t A Pyramid Scheme

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local girl that you haven't really heard much about since she briefly moved to the city for the three months before returning back to your shared hometown, has started up another short-lived business, it has been confirmed. The invitation to like her new business page on Facebook has her entire social media network wondering if this is...

Border Lockdown: Furious Victorians No Longer Allowed To Drive To Tasmania

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact In another body blow for Victoria, Tasmania has officially closed the border to Victorian motorists, effective immediately.   Tasmanian Premier Peter Gutwein had already effectively shut the border to Victorians and those travelling through Victoria in early July, but the most recent move means that those trying to...

Local Dog Stops Thunderstorm With Powerful Bark

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A popular Betoota Ponds golden retriever has reportedly stopped a local thunderstorm this afternoon by barking at it. With each boom and crash of the passing tempest, Brett, the 11-year-old canine in question responded with an equally as loud bark. A short time later, the clouds began to disperse over town and the surrounding area was...

Cuteness Overload! This Childless Young Professional Thinks He’s Actually Tired!

ELLIE LONGBEACH | Home | Contact Drop everything, everyone! Speaking candidly to The Advocate this afternoon, a local buyers agent said he was 'absolutely exhausted' this afternoon and couldn't wait to get home. Sam Cleary said he'd had a big night and that today he's really feeling it. "Had a coffee at 3 pm," he said. "And I didn't have an essay due or...

Inner-City Lefties Morph Slowly Into Their Parents As They Argue Against A Death Tax

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact When you die, all of your money and assets are liquidated and your wealth redistributed back into the community. It's called a death tax and it's aimed at levelling the playing field in life whereby the parents of wealthy people are forced to do...

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