The Nation

Local Man’s Life Deteriorates To The Point Where He’s Started To Make His Own Hot Sauces

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact For a brief moment earlier this year, a local man let himself believe that this year was going to be his year. Instead, he says, he's started to make his own hot sauces that he gives out to friends in the hope that they too...

PM Reveals Parliament Cyber Attack Happened Because Nobody Updated Norton Internet Security

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Nightwatchman of Australia has fronted reporters today in Canberra where he answered a number of questions surrounding the alleged cyber attack on Parliament House last week. Scott Morrison revealed this afternoon that the Parliament's servers where compromised by a 'sophisticated state actor'...

City Worker Desecrates Body By Having A Full-Strength Coke With His $10 Lunch Special

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Looking to keep the party going, a mildly unpopular city worker hasn't given his sickly meat bag of a body a rest since Friday night because today he elected to have a full-fat Coke with a greasy lunch special. Sam Gonstor typically has water...

Unimpressive Bloke Accompanying Hottest Chick At The Beach Definitely An Insta-Photographer

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An noticeably overweight man wearing jeans and joggers on the beach has today sparked a wave of confusion for nearby sunbakers today, after giving the impression that he was punching unrealistically high. The rotund loudmouth was seen dragging some sort of wheely briefcase through the sand, while nonchalantly...

Gold Coast Builders Prepare For Indefinite Hiatus On Roofing Work On The Back Of Cyclone Oma

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The South-East Corner's construction industry are today reorganising their project timelines around the fact that they won't be able to get a roofer on any sites for the next four days. This follows a the news that a tropical low, formerly lingering off the coast of Cairns in...

Clive Palmer Moves Overseas In Latest Bid To Make Australia Great Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Political hopeful Clive Palmer has today announced that he's permanently moving to the New Caledonian capital, Nouméa, in his latest bid to make Australia 'great' again. The flighty Victorian explained to reporters this morning in Coolum that he's been thinking about it for a while...

Local Anti-Vaxxer Urges People To Do Their Own Research Into Carseats

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights mother-of-three has taken to social media this afternoon to urge the rest of our town to do their own research into infant carseats and capsules. Butter Hibiscus, a civil engineer specialising in concrete during the day and a 'mummy blogger' by night,...

NSW Premier Calls In Riot Squad After A Hunky Kevin Bacon Is Spotted Dancing In Kings Cross

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The NSW government's countless policies aimed at sending music festival organisers bankrupt and creating impossible restrictions for licensed venues to operate within the city limits appear under siege today. This comes after footage was released of American movie star Kevin Bacon dancing alone in the now sleepy main strip...

Man’s Romantic Memories Of Student Life Gloss Over The Devon Logs He Lived Off

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Looking back through the marijuana smog to a simpler time when domestic arguments were settled with the Xbox and life was chopped up in days, not billable hours, a local city worker recalled a time when he was most free but at the same time, he failed to...

Dead Pigeon In Rugby Australia’s Carpark Currently Doing More For The Game Than Entire Organisation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A flying rat that was run over and killed in Rugby Australia's carpark has been found to be working harder for the game than anybody else in the building adjacent to its rotting corpse. The pigeon, who found its way under some board member's Range...

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