The Nation

Arts Graduate Feeling A Little More Motivated After At Least Getting Auto-Reply To Job Application

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After a few long months of fretting about her future, things are looking up for Kristen Sullivan. Toiling away through online application after application, answering needless questions about herself that are already in her resume, Sullivan was beginning to wonder if there was light at the end of the tunnel. So when she received an automatic group email from someone...

Sydney University’s Languages And Cultures Department Now Offering Pig Latin As A Subject

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a recent survey has show that there wasn't one early-20s white hipster that was unable to speak conversational Japanese, Sydney University has today announced a roll-out of several new subjects within their School of Languages and Cultures. "We feel that there is a saturation of people learning Japanese and Spanish, mainly just to benefit their holidaying experiences" said...

Manager Of Sydney Wine Bar Prepares For War After Seeing An 8-Hour Booking For 6 Under ‘Bianca’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a matter of hours, Sydney's hospitality workers will endure their first Friday night crowd since New South Wales was released from the gruelling 16 week lockdown of 2021. Right across the Harbour City, bartenders and waiters are being currently briefed by their managers, aheads of an onslaught of manic and thirsty energy. With strict rules around bookings and patron...

Local Pokie Whisperer Finally Tames His Steel Brumby With 2:15 AM Feature

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A modern-day Australian bushranger has peeled off from his pack of fellow reprobates to focus on his own interests, as the evening ends up at a 24-hour licenses hotel. While keeping his gang in sight, local man Antonio James (28) has ridden his steel horse deep into the night, while in the comfort of an air-conditioned smoking room at...

Inner-City Labor Worried Liberal Climate Action Is Going To Drive Undesirables To Vote For Albo

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the NSW Liberal Government begins to accelerate the transition to renewables, it seems that carbon-exposed workers across Australia are starting to feel betrayed by the party that squandered every dollar they dug out of the ground during the mining boom. Hydrogen, wind and solar are back on the table - and NewsCorp have made the overnight decision to...

Hippy Twiggy Forrest Rolls Into Latest Greenie Press Conference With Vibrant Bongo Drum Solo

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's newest greenie has wowed reporters at a spectacular press conference this morning. Speaking with a couple of politicians down in Sydney, Andrew 'Hippy Twiggy' Forrest rolled in to speak with an incredible bongo drum rendition of Bob Marley's Buffalo Soldier. Finishing off a feverish rendition of the popular song, the head of one of the...

Unemployed Mate Can’t Believe You Aren’t Keen To Back Up Tonight

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recently-but-not-so-recently unemployed man is making drastic moves to avoid watching Ellen on television today, and instead, he is stretching out phone calls with his mates working 9-5. While his mates act polite and try their best to not be distracted by their jobs, Jim Peterson (28) wants to know what else happened after he left on Saturday night. "Was...

“The Ford Raptors Will Keep Rolling In” Says NSW Government Pitching Hydrogen To Hunter Region

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The New South Wales Premier has kept the wins rolling in this week, announcing a shiny new policy to win over the people of the Hunter and Illawarra regions. Fresh from being the man in the pictures as the state opens back up, Dominic Perrottet has revealed a three billion dollar hydrogen energy policy. With Twiggy Forrest standing...

Small Town ‘Buy, Swap And Sell’ Page Exclusively Used To Sling Insults And Organise Fights

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Emmet Buy/Swap/Sell Facebook page started out with pure intentions according to the administrator, but internal town politics and a perverted need to open old wounds quickly diminished any value from it. Warren Kelly started the page to create a portal by which Emmet's 17 000 residents could sell their unneeded possessions or pick something...

With Sydney Free, Melbourne Finally Concede That They Should’ve Just Locked Down Hard And Fast

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Sydney emerges from a fifteen week lockdown, it has become clear that Victoria should have spent less time pussyfooting about and just locked down hard and fast like New South Wales did. This comes as Melbourne notches up yet another day in lockdown (if you'd even call it that) with daily case numbers still higher than were ever...

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