The Nation

Albo Makes News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Anthony Albanese has today shocked the country, and appeared in news coverage all across the country. The sensational move comes after the Leader of the Opposition, who seems to have forgotten what his job actually is, was caught in car accident in Sydney. A...

Report: Mate Most Intent On Playing Monopoly Usually The Worst To Play Monopoly With

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT One of the most popular board games is Monopoly, a real estate themed game that gives most Millenials their only chance to own property with the realistic detail of it mostly being up to chance disguised as hard work.  On Friday evening, one group of gamers sat in their...

Rehab Centre Now Offering Wiggles Detox For Toddlers

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Local parents are rejoicing today after news that regional drug rehabilitation and counselling service Betoota Pathways is now offering an inpatient program to help toddlers with debilitating Wiggles addictions.   “It’s what this area desperately needs” said young mum Brianna Vito, 19. “I’ve got Kieran on...

Palaszczuk Left Confused As Other States Keep Borders Open To Queenslanders

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has revealed her confusion this morning as other state premiers around the country have politely declined the opportunity to score some political points against her by slamming their borders closed to Queensland. In Victoria, the state's defacto leader Daniel Andrews said...

Fiji Laughs At ‘Pathetic’ American Attempt At A Coup D’Éta

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Pacific powerhouse Fiji has reportedly laughed at American attempts to overthrow their government today, telling The Advocate that those 'Trump Supporters' wouldn't know a coup d'état if it hit them in the face. Over the past four decades, there have been at least half-a-dozen real...

America Contemplating Invading Itself After Attack On White House

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some sensational news from the home of the brave and the land of the free, The United States is currently contemplating invading itself. This comes after a failed insurrection on the White House today, with the world looking on in disbelief as the self titled 'leader of...

PM: “At Times Like This, Americans Should Be Inspired By Their Cricketing Heroes”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister Scott Morrison has shared a statement on the storming of the US Capitol building by rioters today, telling the people of America than when times get tough like this, it's best to turn to their national cricket team for inspiration and guidance.

Local Dad’s Immediate Need For A Pen Now A Life And Death Situation

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A Betoota Heights household is having their peaceful night disrupted after a random phone call has resulted in a late night goose chase. Local dad Steven Ellis was watching the news when he received a call from a contractor who figured seven o’clock at night was the best...

‘Hahaha’ Gambles Man Nervously In Response To Sentence He Didn’t Quite Hear

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A local man has taken a gamble today after a discussion with a mutual friend resulted in some things getting lost in translation. Paul Steinfield was meeting a couple of mates at a bar, when his close friend, Dion, left for the bathroom - leaving him with...

Woman Getting To The Age Where She Signs Community Petitions

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact If there’s one sign, aside from crow’s feet and shocking hangovers, that lets you know you’re getting old, it’s actually giving a shit about what happens in your local community. One local woman who’s getting old AF is Sandra Pollock (30), a renter in Betoota Sounds who just signed a petition to stop...

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