The Nation

Lara Bingle To Front New ‘What The Bloody Hell Are Ya Doing?’ Consent Video

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Following the stunned reaction generated by it’s milkshake consent video, the Federal Government is having another stab, this time enlisting the help of Lara Worthington (née Bingle).   The videos are based on the “So where the bloody hell are you?” tourism campaign from 2006 that was so successful that it was banned in several countries.   In the new video, Bingle...

Cheese Toastie To Solve World’s Problems For Next 5-10 Minutes

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Good news for lovers of peace and harmony as a rapidly heating sandwich press suggests that a cheese toastie is going to solve the world’s problems for the next 5-10 minutes. Despite living in an age of increased quality of life, there seems to be an overbearing shared sentiment that our corporation-led world is spinning towards a dark and...

Aunty Jackie Going Real Hard With The Purple

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A 60-something member of the extended family is almost 90% purple, it has been confirmed. It is not yet known what the appeal is. Purple is a colour intermediate between blue and red. It is similar to violet, but unlike violet, which is a spectral colour with its own wavelength on the visible spectrum of light, purple is a composite color made by combining red...

Dinner That Took All Day To Make Spoiled By Genius Idea To Ingest Kilo Of Cheese And Biccies

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A torn slice of Bega cheese on a Jatz bickie is one of the most explosive flavour combinations to come out of Australia in the past decade. It’s become a staple in the diets of many a man, in particular, Toby Gallany (29), who has inadvertently had the dynamic duo for dinner since his...

Single Mate Caught Out Trying To Wear Trendy New Clothes

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local bachelor has today been busted trying out hip new clothes, as part of a rebrand aimed at getting more attention from the women. Kyle O'Donnel (26) has been quite single for going on 18 months now, and it appears the excruciatingly long dry patch has finally kicked him into gear. Friends say it looks like Kyle is now...

Bill Gates Does His Arse On The Keno

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Tech billionaire Bill Gates has reportedly lost his entire fortune playing Keno at a Mackay club this afternoon. A short time ago, the American was ejected from Gale's Sports Bar on the Mackay Harbour after bar staff allegedly witnessed him abusing Pelican Pete, a popular video pelican who features in the poker machine game of...

Colleague Doing Crossfit Produces Absolutely Woeful Looking Lunch

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Betoota Grove hospital supplies manager Kerri Colby (41) is known amongst her colleagues as The Meme That Walks due to her inability to function without coffee and non-stop talk about CrossFit. Aware of the shit that gets talked about Crossfit fanatics, Colby seems to lean into the stereotype. “We had to do 50 burpees at lunch, do you know what...

Local Woman Reaches That Age Where She Pretends That She’s Always Related Most To ‘Miranda’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Betoota Grove corporate conveyancy lawyer, Harriet Marlo has today turned 33, which means she is now rewriting her own history by claiming that she always thought she was more of a 'Miranda'. Harriet is referring to the favourite Australian female past time of comparing oneself to a Sex and The City character. In the late teens through to twenties...

“You Talking To Me?” Says Michael Slater To Government In Latest Anti-Politician Rant

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the nation's greatest openers was sporting a new haircut this morning when he fronted cameras in the Maldives. Michael Slater asked the Federal Government if they were talking to him when they said he was talking like an idiot. Federal Agriculture minister David Littleproud came into bat for the Prime Minister today on news...

Home Affairs Gives Border Control Officers Bunnings Paint Swatches For Future Reference

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact After the roaring success of the Indian travel ban, the Federal Government has revealed a new immigration policy today. Speaking from Canberra this morning, Home Affairs Minister Karen Andrews announced the introduction of the Bunnings Paint Swatch test. "Commencing on Monday next week, all border control officers will use mandatory paint swatches to determine whether to allow people...

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