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CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Member For Warringah has arrived at the high-hedges of Toorak this afternoon on a private jet, in an effort to defend his beloved Catholic Church. This follows the lifting of a nationwide suppression order which has allowed media to report that Pell has been found guilty of sexually abusing two choirboys when he was archbishop of Melbourne. As his re-election...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian's plan to excessively monitor the recreational activities of young people appears to be working against her today, after her own government accidentally applied the same standards to her idea of fun. This follows the lifting of a nationwide suppression order has allowed media to report that Pell has been found guilty of sexually abusing two choirboys...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a big week of dancing on Steve Irwin's grave and legitimately asking the world's pet-owner to only refer to their pets as companions, PETA have today

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A corporate robot who shops at Tarocash is today regretting the decision to sign away his life to big industry, after seeing a group of young men and women stumbling drunkenly around the city at 11am on a Saturday. This is particularly hard for Derek Melrose to stomach because mid-week bending used to be his favourite past-time.    “I...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A known binge drinker has sent shockwaves through his friendship group this afternoon after sticking to his statement of only having one beer and then going home. The shock development has left his close friends wondering if everything is alright with the big fella. “Shit, do you think we should talk to him?” asked one concerned friend. “Yeah, it’s unlike...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact This evening in a French Quarter terrace, one naïve good boy doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into. “Nnnoooo, Toby, you silly sausage, you don’t want any of daddy’s Jungle Curry,” said one local man. That only seemed to encourage Toby the animated dog, as he proceeded to sit down – a trick he knew would result in a treat. “Naaww...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A category 2 cyclone has finally forced the hands of dad's across the South East Corner today. As Cyclone Oma making its way closer to the coast, meteorologists have issued a severe warning from Bundaberg to Ballina, including Brisbane, the Sunshine Coast, and the Gold Coast. With a weekend of wild weather and strong winds expected, patriarch's around along...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The German-Australian community has issued a severe warning for a large stretch of the east coast from Bundaberg in Queensland to Ballina in New South Wales, after news that spirited European retiree is making her way to the Queensland South-East Corner. Known only by her fitting nickname, 'Cyclone Oma' is currently just under 900 kilometres north-east of Brisbane and...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Commuters at Betoota Ponds train station were in for an absolute treat this morning as a fight between two fare evading passengers was the perfect combination of rich storytelling and being far enough away to enjoy without fearing for their safety. The two warring parties who were described by one bystander as “either adult looking teenagers or...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact If ever there was an earthly representation of a black hole, Costa’s Dry Cleaning on Quarry Road would be it. Over the past 3 years of living near Costa’s, Ava Managan (26) has lost over 15 articles of clothing. This isn’t due to any business fault of Costa’s, but rather because Ava is incapable of remembering to pick up her...