Toulouse native Remi Moureu (36) finds himself in an existential crisis down under, where the customary air kisses upon greeting are no longer the consistent gesture when greeting the opposite sex.

Remi recently relocated to Sydney for work, only to discover that the art of the bisou has been lost in Australia.

“It is so complicated! I have no idea if I should hug, kiss or shake hands? it is a bit crazy to shake a woman’s hand, no?” Remi explained while puffing a cigarette.

“Back in France it is just 2 kisses, always!”

It seems like the wide range of Australian greetings that range from a hearty handshake to a bear hug have put Remi in the middle of a French nightmare every time he meets new people.

“I am lost, truly lost,” Remi lamented.

Remi’s struggle has not gone unnoticed by his new Australian friends, unfortunately, they also have zero advice for the recent arrival.

“Mate this Remi bloke is going on like he’s the first guy to have this problem, this has been an issue for all of us since we were like 14, you just get used to the awkward first few seconds of meeting anyone new I guess.” said Lachlan Frazer (25).

For now, Remi remains determined to find his place in the Australian social scene, armed with nothing but blind intuition and some cigarettes to offer strangers. As for whether he’ll ever fully adapt to the lawless social cues of Australia, only time will tell.


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