Local News

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTYoung people are feeling another economic blow as cocaine is now so expensive that local and domestic influencers have had to resort to paying for it. Known for being the stimulant of choice in the 1980s, cocaine has had a bit of a comeback in recent years due to an increase in hustle culture, nostalgia, and you know, the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Ponds bloke has had a rather cruel taste of mortality this week, having experienced the excitement and crippling disappointment of finding out that your favourite band is coming to your town…but at the local RSL. Steven Wright, 35, tells our reporter that he’d practically jumped out of his seat after learning that the punk band he loved...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA new saint may soon be canonised after a certified miracle happened in our lucky little outback oasis this week. For the first time in recorded and pre literary history, a group chat consisting of over 10 people managed to organise a successful night on the piss that satisfied the needs of all in attendance. The 19 member strong group...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTT2 might just turn themselves up to T3 as the entire Australian tea industry celebrates as another grog monster publicly declares their sobriety. A former wine and spirits rep, Roland Noush (46) recently realised he was not completely in control of his drinking habits and was often so inebriated that he found the Matty Johns Show funny.  Trying to set...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA French Quarter woman who grew up attending Wharton School For Girls has rebelled against her silver spoon upbringing, by getting a series of fine line tattoos that will no doubt piss off her parents, it’s reported. Showing off her latest permanent artwork, a small floral number on her inner forearm, Georgia Moore Oates, 23, says she’s now...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA pair of work pants, previously worn by local house painter Garry Young (49), have transcended their humble origins reaching the top end of town after being purchased by a local art student with rich parents. The pants, which were donated by Garry to a thrift store last year, found a not so surprising buyer in the form of...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA Betoota Heights family is having a good discrete chuckle after dad Jeffrey Drove (52) has gotten himself dressed up for a gig and made some, well, let’s say interesting fashion choices.According to the Drove family, the old man is super excited for the reunion tour of ‘80s/90s ska band Ploppy Mullins & the Executed Sandwich Stuffers, even...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights landlord has gotten this shits today, after managing to go a whole year without having to do any maintenance on his investment property. Lenny Kraftson, 54, tells The Advocate that he’d had such pleasant experiences with his male tenants who ‘asked for nothing’ but that his lucky streak finally came to an end when the house...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some sad news for former students worldwide, it’s reported that the anime girl featured in the ‘Lo Fi Hip Hop To Study And Relax To’ YouTube music stream has been forced to quit studying, after racking up a $1 million dollar HECs debt. First started in 2017, the lo fi music stream has been playing 24/7 for several...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT33 year old Gabrielle Rooney confessed today that despite having a firm grip on technology, she absolutely detests that blind trust she has to put into google docs auto save and the fact that she can't just manually save things on the cloud based document app. Gabrielle's Microsoft Word past has left her with the lifelong habit of manually...