A woman who really has no interest in combat sports outside of the fact that it provides an opportunity to cuddle up to her boyfriend on the couch all Sunday, has today pointed out the bit she likes most about the boxing.

This comes after the Australian Jai ‘The Toast of The Cenny Coast’ Opetaia swung his way through a long-awaited rematch against Mairis Briedis to reclaim the IBF cruiserweight title via unanimous decision in a bloody display of raw athleticism in Saudi Arabia.

This showdown was watched by millions around the world, including a lot of people who have never heard of those two men before.

Local girl, Ellen (28, Betoota’s French Quarter) spent a whole day watching men punching each other as hard as they can over the weekend.

Every time she thought she was watching the main event, she was quick to find out there was more to come.

Her plan to just play on her phone while nestled into the nook of her boyfriend’s armpit for a couple hours was immediately foiled by the non-stop explanations of the sport’s rules, the criteria of the judges and certain tactics to watch out for – as well as the life stories of every single fighter.

Opetaia was in control for much of the 12-round fight, although his Latvian opponent started to fight back in the final three rounds. All in all, it wasn’t enough, the three judges scored the fight 117-111, 116-112, 116-112.

All of this was lost on Ellen, who doesn’t really care for the sport – although she’s managed to find a few silver linings in this experience – given the fact that she knows this won’t be the last time she watches 12 rounds of champagne pugilism.

I like it when they hug after the match” she says.

“It’s really cute”

When asked if there was anything else memorable about the 6 hours she spent watching a sport she knows nothing about, Ellen says the eye candy wasn’t too bad either.

“Well the Aussie guy was hot”

“So that was nice. My boyfriend agrees. In fact, he thinks they are all hot. I’ve never head him talk like that but he kept calling them big strong lads and warriors”

“So that’s also cute”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here