Sports

Panthers Fan Reveals Himself To Be A Bandwagoner After Upping The ‘Rith’

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A soft handed Blue Mountains boy named Luke Airth has today outed himself in front of a proper Western Sydney person. Enjoying a Friday arvo beer and lunch with some colleagues, the young architect started to carry on about how excited he was for the game this weekend. "Haha, I love the Panthers mate," said the rounded vowel...

Footy Presos: Local Uso Can Still Nail The Double Windsor From His Church Days

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's not often that a group of Australian men are all required to dress the same, and dress well, in the middle of the day. However, this afternoon in leagues club function room on Betoota's southside - a group of close mates had to do just that - to celebrate the end the best and fairest of the Betoota...

Rich Melbourne Horse Owners Surprisingly Made To Follow The Same Rules As Everyone Else

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a genuinely shocking story out of the Covid capital of the country, Melbourne's wealthy horse owners will have to follow the same rules as everyone else this weekend. This follows the Victorian Racing Minister's decision to back down on a decision to allow owners and connections to attend the Cox Plate this weekend. The Minister for the...

Lucky All Blacks Somehow Sneak A Win Ahead Of Facing The Music At Fortress ANZ

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Thankfully, for fans of the game of rugby, the plucky All Blacks have managed to keep the Bledisloe Cup alive. The Kiwis managed to do so with a lucky, opportunistic victory against the Wallabies yesterday afternoon. That win, means the Bledisloe Cup is still alive with two matches to play in Sydney and Brisbane. Which is great news...

Bathurst V8 Fan Frantically Digs Around For That Nest Of White Eggs He Laid A Few Days Ago

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local motorsport fan has been caught on his hands and knees frantically digging the ground up for some buried treasure this afternoon. In one of the less busy areas of the Mount Panorama grounds, Clint Simpson was doing so today, trying to find the nest of White Eggs (or Jim Beam cans as they are known to...

Smug Barrister Drinking Grange At The Tattersalls Starting To Feel Sorry For The All Blacks

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Queensland-based barrister, Carmody Dyson-Street doesn't like to offer his opinions on the state of world rugby that often. Mainly because it's something so close to his heart that it can often descend into firey lectures. As one of the River City's most prominent legal eagles, Mr Dyson-Street is heavily invested in the Wallabies, and says he always called Kerry...

LeBron Silences Haters Who Don’t Know Anything About Basketball And Puts GOAT Debate To Bed

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT He's done it! The King has silenced the crowd, with an emphatic performance on the biggest stage. LeBron James has just won another NBA Championship, defeating the Miami Heat 4-2 in the Finals Series. And in doing so, The Los Angeles Lakers superstar has officially passed Michael Jordan in the GOAT debate. The Greatest Of All Time debate...

Roosters Offer Contract To Talented Grass Roots Product They Found Kicking The Footy On Bondi

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Sydney Roosters are getting set to do what they do best this week - lock down some young talent who shone through their feeder system. The powerhouse club chasing a historic three-peat are reportedly set to offer teen prodigy Joesph Suaalii a contract to come and play for the tri-colours. Suaalii had previously been the centre of a...

Penrith Pubs Start Offering Oak On Tap Ahead Of Panthers Finals Run

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sydney's West is buzzing this week, as the Panthers and Eels prepare to kick off their respective finals campaign this weekend. While those around Sydney's 'second CBD' are somewhat cautious given their team's awful form and habit of crumbling under pressure, The Area is full-on humming right now. With the Penny Panthers seeking to claim their first...

Culture Kings Declare Nationwide Shortage Of LA Lakers Snapbacks

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Employees at Betoota’s Culture Kings store have been called into the team meeting room this morning in the wake of some big news. The ‘iconic streetwear brand’ popular amongst soundcloud enthusiast whiteboys and scaffolders across the country, has been abuzz today as the Los Angeles Lakers prepare to tip off against the Miami Heat in the NBA...

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