Sports

“Oh Was Melbourne Cup On Today?” Asks Peter V’landys From The 19th At Wollongong Golf Club

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Just over 24 hours before State Of Origin Game 1 seals itself as one of the highest-rating Australian sporting events of 2020 and the man that made it all possible is taking a moment to himself. Sipping on a cold schooner of Tooheys New while staring out the tall windows of the Wollongong Golf Club, Saint Peter V'landy appears...

Off-Season NRL Star Torn Between Holiday With Wife And Kids Or 40 Vodka Red Bulls And A Biff

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The NRL off-season is in full swing this week. Less a full 7 days after the 2020 Grand Final, and the Sydney Morning Herald has hit the ground running with a vague story about Cowboys players rooting married women and club doctors handing out prescriptions like smarties. However, while the simple acts of Diazepam abuse and out-of-wedlock affairs seem quite...

Wallabies Graciously Cop Awful Refereeing Calls As Lucky All Blacks Gifted The Bledisloe Cup

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Bledisloe Cup has now officially been taken out of the Wallabies hands this weekend, after an unlucky 43-5 defeat on the weekend. With the Cup alive ahead of their showdown at Fortress ANZ many had been hopeful that the All Blacks would put up a bit of a fight as Australia romped to victory on home soil....

Report: Talk About The Grog Horrors

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Anyone who has ever complained about having to go to work with a hangover have been advised to shut the fuck up today, after the bar was raised considerable by NRL Premiership winner Cameron Munster. Having won the grand final with the Melbourne Storm on Sunday night, Munster and his teammates have been gleefully recording their four day bender...

National Anthem Scrapped For Origin, Replaced By ‘State Anthems’ From Kerser And Pete Murray

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Australian national anthem has reportedly been scrapped from this year's belated State of Origin series. The Daily Telegraph reported the controversial move this morning, following a meeting of the ARL Commission. However, as could be expected the NewsCorp tabloid have reported the decision to speed up the pre-match build up as a 'BAN ON PATRIOTISM' in their latest effort...

BREAKING: Sunshine Coast About To Be Fucked Up By Another Storm

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the second time this week, Queensland's picturesque Sunshine Coast is about to be saturated by the moisture of yet another high-energy storm. Still recovering from the Melbourne Storm Grand Final kick-ons that destroyed several local businesses and kept residents awake for nearly 48 hours - the region is once again preparing for the worst. The Bureau of Meteorology (BOM)...

“Fuck What’s The Bald Bloke’s Name Again” Wonders Mal As James Hooper Enters Fox Sports Lobby

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As a spectacular season of NRL and NRLW football concludes, Australian footy fans now await a November State Of Origin series to wrap up a year of rugby league football that many had written off in March. Journalists, players, trainers, family, board members, and ground staff have all chipped in to give the fans something that distracts them from...

NRL Journalists Puzzled As To Why Melbourne Man Wants To Hang On To Job So Badly

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In a year of uncertainties the question of one man’s employment has been the paramount mystery of rugby league journalism.  Despite the innumerous print and online opinion columns as well as a dedicated 24-hour TV channel featuring scores of ex-players discussing the 16 team league, not one individual has been able to figure out why Melbourne man Cameron ‘Cam’...

UFC 254: Bam Bam Tuivasa Ogflays The Uckfay Outta Alltay Utchday Untcay

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT UFC fans were treated to a Western Sydney style scrap this morning as prominent Mount Druitt eshay Tai ‘Bam Bam’ Tuivasa lifted some European bloke. The heavyweight contest between the Dutch Stefan Struve and Tuivasa was one of the quickest preliminary bouts in today’s UFC 254 event on Fight Island. Stuve (29-12 MMA) was returning to action for...

Queenslanders Cherish Opportunity To Watch The Team With The Good Player Win AFL Grand Final

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The team that always seems to win, has won the AFL grand final, as Queenslanders packed out the Gabba for historic relocation of ‘the big dance’. This comes off the back of an incredible performance from their best player who the commentators said always plays well in the big games. Richmond beat Geelong by 31 points in the AFL...

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