Local News

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact A trip to nanna’s house became a trip to remember today as grandchild Devan Wheeler (13) discovered ice cold tins of Kirk's Lemonade in the spare fridge. Sensing that she’d have a mutiny on her hands otherwise, Nanna Leighton (70) dished out the discount drink to her grandchildren who seemed to prefer the cost-efficient sparkling...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The principal of the exclusive Whooton School in Betoota Grove has outlined the dangers of losing public funding in a letter to parents this morning, saying the school's brand new playing field is in danger of being levelled without it. Professor Graham Waterford said that he and the school's board of trustees have worked tirelessly...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A prominent Filipino-Australian family from Betoota's Flight Path District have today shared some of their domestic shortcuts. This week we spoke to Filo icon Jo Koy. Listen here: Namely, keeping the TV remote fresher for longer, and in turn extending it's shelf life. The plastic-coating of everyday household items is a common occurrence within the Filipino diaspora, with reports...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT La Beretta in Betoota's Flight Path District has been a staple of family outings and noisy corporate lunches for several decades. On top of their already homely atmosphere that includes light Italian jazz music and red and white plastic table clothes on the veranda, La Beretta has also adhered to the stereotype of having a framed poster of famous Italian-American...

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact Once touted as the next table tennis, a local boutique, bespoke, creative, fun, multinational mezzanine-level advertising and public relations firm has revealed that they're the proud owners of a foosball table - but nobody working there quite knows where or how they got it. Speaking exclusively to The Advocate, one of Colenso South Betoota's...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Coalition leadership team has found a solution to the impending tsunami of mortgage stresses and foreclosures on the horizon by explaining that those people need to either get a better job or one that pays way more. Federal Treasurer Josh Frydenberg and Prime Minister Scott Morrison fronted the media today after concerns were raised...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sarah Goodhue was left internally seething this morning by a comment made during a run of the mill conversation with a colleague. The mid-level brand manager at a PR firm in Betoota’s trendy French Quarter was attempting to show off her left field interests when casually explaining her weekend movements to a colleague named Sam. “Yeah just went to a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A resident at a local Betoota aged care facility has opened up today about her bold plan to get a half decent meal. Beryl Withers (89) who was residing in the ironically named Betoota Ponds Happy Village, spoke to our reporters about her incredible plan. Transferred to the Betoota Correctional Facility yesterday evening with Grievous Bodily Harm charges levelled against...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The living conditions and personal hygiene of a remarkably unpopular Betoota Heights sharehouse dweller has left his housemate's reeling after it's far lower than what they expected. For the past six months, Dana Rench has been practically living in bed - a bed without bedsheets. The 24-year-old works nights at Sushi Bin out at Remienko Regional Aerodrome...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Four days have passed since Deathcon 1 and glitter still litters Leah Greenbow's hair and chest. The leasing agent spoke candidly to The Advocate this morning after landing back in the Desert Capital early yesterday morning - just before work. While she conceded that her chipper mood yesterday might've given her the impression that she might've gotten...