Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Waking up to a series of voice notes from her best friend Tracey, local woman Natasha Potts knows she’s about to hear some absolute bangers. It’s alleged the 23-year-old had gone to bed unusually early the night before and had missed the 9:30 mark, which is usually the time her friend had a meltdown. Though Tracey had a habit...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In a dire warning to her fellow motorists, School Admin Assistant Diane Petrov, 47, has taken aim at tailgaters with her RAV4’s new Yosemite Sam spare tyre cover and she’s clearly not fucking about. The popular covers feature Looney Tunes character Yosemite Sam with a gun in each hand and the words “BACK OFF!”; a threatening addition common to...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local woman Lindsay York has accidentally revealed a little too much about herself today after a chat about first crushes ventured into strange territory. It’s alleged as her friends had fired off conventional responses such as Jeremy Sumpter in Peter Pan and the boys from Supernatural, Lindsay had thrown a spanner into the works by announcing her first crush...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a year-long divorce process, Bianca Paladino (43) says she's excited to see some of these other fish that her friends keeps telling her are out in the sea. The recently single local mother has today revealed to The Betoota Advocate that her online dating experience has been full of surprises, as she navigates her way back into the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local white collar father of 4 has this week gone to one of his happy places. Not the back deck or the shed with a cold generic beer, but into the world of an action movie called Nobody, with lots of fighting, loud noises, and hyper masculine behaviour.  And, even better, it’s an action movie about a quiet, well...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Chamomile Dando-Hobbs (3) is in serious trouble, not only with her parents but with the unstoppable forward march of time. This morning, Chamomile woke her parents inside their Betoota Parklands tiny home, loudly screaming about something her infant vocabulary didn’t have the depth to clearly articulate.  “She is carrying on like it's her first lifetime,” stated father Purelove Dando-Hobbs as...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A local woman has accidentally made her best impression of Goofy today after failing to contain a wayward yawn. It’s reported that Melissa Bunac was trying to stay awake in one of her humanities tutorials, which was made all the harder as her tutor Mr Richards had the vocal cadence of a slow beating drum. As Richards had gone...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT After years of hard work, sacrifices and many tubs of two minute noodles, third year uni student Isaac Peltman has officially landed his first industry related job. The business student is said to have been offered a job at a local marketing agency, after interning as part of the uni placement. Unlike a lot of other digital agencies...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT A local Boomer claiming to be a gardener has blown her cover today by accidentally referring to the green things in her garden as plants, instead of the correct technical term “plarnts”. In an attempt to impress her next door neighbour, Sylvia Harris, 70, a new arrival to Betoota West’s leafy Patrician Street, tried to engage in a gardening discussion...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact HIIT classes are filled with gym-goers of all fitness levels and abilities, but as one eager-beaver is showing, it’s also a place for people to attempt to absolve themselves of the sins they accumulated over the weekend. Joel Freely (31) isn’t usually a Monday morning exerciser, but after a big weekend, he had some demons that he needed to sweat...