Local News

3 April, 2017. 9:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Sighing loudly enough for half the wine bar to hear, a local Greens voter took a moment to reflect on the government's unjust immigration policy as he stared out the window, fighting back tears. "It's disgusting," said Urshela Leaf, 36, of South Betoota's famed Greenpoint Artists' Commune. "They're imprisoning children, they're committing crimes...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The typical Australian grandfather's Christmas Day outfit has nothing on a local African bloke's flash new button up, it has been confirmed. The South-Betoota man by the name of Lou has received praise from the local community today for bringing back the loud button up. A style once made popular by drovers visiting town for the rodeo. The father-of-three says this...

31 March, 2017. 9:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact If there's one thing Mark McLaughlin enjoys less than somebody vomiting in the back seat of his taxi cab, it's cyclists. The 77-year-old was the first taxi license recipient in the greater Betoota district in 1965, where he was able to grow his business from just one car to ten in a matter of...

30 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The third-most prolific shoegaze band in Betoota has shunned their lo-fi sound ahead of the release of their first album next month, citing that they actually have some "pretty good lyrics" and people deserve to hear them. Quran Quran Renault Megane burst onto the East Betoota music scene in 1993, with local chart...

30 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As a part of his ongoing rehabilitation, recent double-transplant recipient Dennis Sparklemein had told everybody from his medical team to his young adult children that he still thinks life as better in his heyday. The 69-year-old revealed to The Advocate that he his generation had real things to worry about such as...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Gregory Caldridge, 19, was unable to be consoled by friends last night after a tragic sequence of events led his mobile telephone to run out of battery midway through a concert. The Brisbane-native made the trip down to the Gold Coast to attend a gig hosted by punk outfit, The Autofellating Anteaters, where he expected to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Using all of her primary school Italian in saying thank you to local barista Giovanni 'Jack' Chapmanio, a South Betoota mother of four asked for the air conditioning to be turned down after being personally greeted with her order ready to go by the Italian-national. "Grazie Jacko! Come è ora?" said Angela Ikona, the owner-operator...

28 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A first-grade tighthead prop has taken to social media this afternoon with details of a Saturday night tryst with a local woman - in the hopes of finding her after the mystery woman took off before he woke up. Pavel Mikhailov is playing his fourth season in the Betoota Dolphins number three jersey and played...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A noticeably hungover, and possibly still drunk, man is currently informing an entire cafe about how big his night was. While dining alone on a late breakfast, his phone call was rather quiet to begin with. That was until he launched into the story about that bird that Jimmy took home. "She was an absolute sort!" He...

25 March, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Men are often criticized for not being able to do two things at once, however, most men are able to urinate and spit at the same time - which has become an area of interest for Australia's peak scientific body. Launching a $455m study into why men spit in the urinal before...