The freshly restocked toiletries in a local sharehouse bathroom has suggested that the safe, slovenly, space may soon be infiltrated by nice smelling perfume and shoes that make noise on the floorboards.

With a new bar of Imperial Leather soap, so new that it still has corners, and a fresh role of toilet paper that has obviously been purchased as an individual item from the Greek convenience store down the street – the housemates who didn’t spend any money for these luxuries are beginning to wonder what is happening.

67 Daroo Street in the Flight Path District, more colloquially known as ‘The Kennel’ by its six slightly overweight male occupants, hasn’t seen one sleep over in the 7 months since the lease was signed.

While Brent (24, very junior finance worker) claims to have played a few away games over Summer, the rest of the house are united in their lack of interaction with the fairer sex.

That was until today, after someone replaced the basic human necessities in the bathroom without being asked to or demanding praise.

Considering only one of the housemates is what you would consider possibly not-straight, the remaining four really have no excuses outside of the video game addictions and their degenerate binge drinking.

The unsolvable riddle of ‘who spent $9.30 to drastically improve the living standards of six grown men’ continues right into the late afternoon – until Bryson was seen skipping down the internal staircase with fluffy looking hair that looks like it might have been washed with the new bar of soap.

Bryson is in love.



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