TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

A local couple embarking on a joint weight loss journey have butted heads this evening while serving up an uninspiring, but diet approved, dessert.

The clash came after the man attempted to add three extra spoonful’s of natural yoghurt to his sad array of fruit.

“What do you think you’re doing?” snapped Miranda, the diet instigator.

Darren responded like a puppy that received its first scolding, unsure of what he’d done wrong.

“What? One isn’t enough…I’ll still be hungry” said an innocent Darren, frail and malnourished from the pittance of dinner he was allowed.

“The plan says we’re allowed one serve of yoghurt, not 3” continued Miranda.

“This is why you’re not losing any weight?”

“Yeah but it’s healthy” Darren retorted feebly, unsure if he even had the strength to fight on.

While Darren’s strength appeared to be fading rapidly due to a severe calorie deficit, The Advocate can confirm that he’s not malnourished at all. With witnesses saying they’ve seen Darren eating KFC 3-piece feeds alone in his car that he’d intentionally parked out of sight in back alleys.

It’s believed that Miranda had implemented the strict diet in an attempt to shred a few kilos off her partner before an upcoming wedding. By the looks of his shadow eating and misinformation about what constitutes a serving size, it seems unlikely that he will lose any weight at all.

More to come.


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