Barnaby Dominates Christensen In National Party’s Annual Goanna Pull

Barnaby Dominates Christensen In National Party’s Annual Goanna Pull

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT “Suck shit Christo” roared the Deputy Prime Minister, as he massaged his wide-set neck. “That’s what happens when you spend your life behind a desk” The cheering continues in the background as Barnaby Joyce does a celebratory rnb-style dance move mimicking a wave with his arms. He’s just taken home the National […]

Man Who Used To ‘Bash Poofters’ For Fun Says Leftie Bullies Turned Him Off Voting Yes

Man Who Used To ‘Bash Poofters’ For Fun Says Leftie Bullies Turned Him Off Voting Yes

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A 55-year-old who spent a big part of the eighties looking for gay men to bash at local parks says he was almost considering lending his vote to marriage equality, until ‘these people’ tried to make him feel a certain way. Bradley, a prominent football manager at his medium-sized coastal hometown, says his […]

Revolutionary New Clinic Successfully Reintroduces Canberra Residents To Life Outside

Revolutionary New Clinic Successfully Reintroduces Canberra Residents To Life Outside

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An amazing new clinic in the outskirts of the Australian Capital Territory has been recognised for it’s world-renowned programs aimed at reintroducing Canberra residents to a life outside their circular inland public service-reliant city. Species reintroduction is the deliberate release of a species into the wild, from captivity or other areas where the organism survives […]

Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott Retires From Family To Focus On His Politics

Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott Retires From Family To Focus On His Politics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott has today announced his retirement from his family to spend time with his politics and help himself through “serious career challenges”. This comes just weeks after the Prime Minister declared he was willing to tear both his immediate and extended family a part if it meant protecting the […]

CSIRO: “Mr Abbott, What You’ve Just Said Is One Of The Most Insanely Idiotic Things I Have Ever Heard. At No Point In Your Rambling, Incoherent Response Were You Even Close To Anything That Could Be Considered A Rational Thought. Everyone In This Room Is Now Dumber For Having Listened To It. I Award You No Points, And May God Have Mercy On Your Soul.”

CSIRO: “Mr Abbott, What You’ve Just Said Is One Of The Most Insanely Idiotic Things I Have Ever Heard. At No Point In Your Rambling, Incoherent Response Were You Even Close To Anything That Could Be Considered A Rational Thought. Everyone In This Room Is Now Dumber For Having Listened To It. I Award You No Points, And May God Have Mercy On Your Soul.”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) have today released a statement in response to former prime minister Tony Abbott suggested climate change is “probably doing good” The devout Catholic who staunchly defends his own ‘opinions’ regarding catastrophic man-made damages to the environment,  gave a speech in his hometown of London, in which […]

Dulux Identify World’s Palest Shade Of White After Bill Shorten’s Appearance On NOVA

Dulux Identify World’s Palest Shade Of White After Bill Shorten’s Appearance On NOVA

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT What will back the rendered brick walls of suburban Australian McMansions be wearing next year? The shade of the near-future is a muted neutral-white, according to iconic paint company Dulux. The company has declared that the newest colour identified by their scientists is known as Bill ShortenTM, a name meant to evoke a […]

Grown Men That Fought Against 18C Say Their Feelings Are Being Hurt By Gay Teenagers

Grown Men That Fought Against 18C Say Their Feelings Are Being Hurt By Gay Teenagers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a bizarre coincidence, Australia’s staunchest defenders of free speech are also the most vulnerable to mean tweets from gay activists, who they say are overly aggressive, intolerable and mean. The grown men, most of who usually only make headlines in a slow news cycle with their comments about repealing section 18c from […]

Abbott Criticises Afternoon Shower For Mixing Politics With Weather Patterns

Abbott Criticises Afternoon Shower For Mixing Politics With Weather Patterns

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Tony Abbott has caused controversy again today after an explosive rant at the earth’s weather systems. The former Prime Minister who last week criticised the NRL for allowing the US rapper Macklemore to play his 2nd highest rating song at the Grand Final because he said it promoted the “Yes” campaign, has caused a […]

Unemployed Scott Ludlam Says He Loves Being Able To Spend So Much Time On His Crop

Unemployed Scott Ludlam Says He Loves Being Able To Spend So Much Time On His Crop

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As one of two federal politicians who probably won’t be working again this term due to citizenship issues, former Greens Senator Scott Ludlam says he’s really loving the time off. “It’s mad” he says, while tying a bandana over his recently-bleached yellow hair. “I’ve been needing this for a while, hey. Last […]

Self-Hating Millennial Pretends To Care About Weird Boomer Shit

Self-Hating Millennial Pretends To Care About Weird Boomer Shit

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A prominent Gen-Y social commentator has been having a particularly hard time trying to harness the same audiences as Alan Jones and Steve Price, while also trying to avoid being a class and generation traitor. Paul ‘The Boomer Liason’ Murray has for many years now made a career broadcasting hot button issues […]

1 2 3 36