Malcolm Roberts lashes out at spherical depiction of Earth; prefers wall maps

Malcolm Roberts lashes out at spherical depiction of Earth; prefers wall maps

24 April, 2017. 15:34 WENDELL HUSSEY | Intern| Contact One Nation Senator and champion of empirical science Malcolm Roberts was livid yesterday as numerous depictions of the Earth as a round circular globe were on display across the planet. Yesterday saw many come to together for Earth Day and the coinciding Marches for Science. However, Roberts […]

Turnbull solves 457 visa problem by turning it off and on again

"Yeah, but nah," said the PM. "It's pretty much the same, we just took '457' out to make it sound better."

Turnbull solves 457 visa problem by turning it off and on again

18 April, 2017. 17:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has announced he is scrapping the heavily-debated 457 visa program for skilled migrants as part of a bid to tackle unemployment – and replacing it with a similar, but entirely different scheme. “I have solved the program,” said Turnbull. “It is no […]

D’OH! Pauline Hanson tricked into breathing Halal air by human rights group

"Dude, we totally got her!" said one protestor. "Yeah, bro. We did."

D’OH! Pauline Hanson tricked into breathing Halal air by human rights group

10 April, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Federal senator Pauline Hanson was duped into breathing Halal air yesterday afternoon as she left Parliament House around 4pm Canberra time. The certified-Halal air was ritualistically and inhumanely slaughtered toward Mecca over the weekend and bottled up by Human Rights Watch, an American-founded international non-governmental organisation […]

Fourth Grader Skips Training Using Dead Grandparent Excuse For The Fifth Time

"It's a sad day," he said. "I am very sad."

Fourth Grader Skips Training Using Dead Grandparent Excuse For The Fifth Time

10 April, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Over the course of the past year, Betoota Dolphin’s fourth grade flanker Stanley Park has tragically lost five grandparents. Their deaths have prevented him from attending four training sessions and one Saturday game fixture last August against perennial easy beats, the Boulia John Player Specials. […]

Excited QLD Premier Reveals Reef Nearly Dead Enough For Coal Ships To Crush Through

Excited QLD Premier Reveals Reef Nearly Dead Enough For Coal Ships To Crush Through

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An ecstatic Annastacia Palaszczuk has today revealed that continued coral bleaching on the Great Barrier Reef is nearly at the point where coal ships would be able to crush their way through to the Central Queensland coast with enough momentum. Speaking to media this morning, the Queensland Premier said the current bleaching episode is great […]

Governor-General Turns Sickly Grey During Handshake With Offshore Dementor

Governor-General Turns Sickly Grey During Handshake With Offshore Dementor

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Governor-General Peter Cosgrove has experienced the horrid feeling of his soul being consumed upon, after shaking hands with a gliding, wraith-like dark creature employed by the Australian Ministry of Immigration as the guard of Nauru Prison. The Minister, who originates from the Division of Dickson, has been in the role of Dementor for the Ministry […]

Mark Latham puts finishing touches on DIY home television studio

"It might not be politically correct," he said. "But neither was Metallica and look how far they've gone."

Mark Latham puts finishing touches on DIY home television studio

4 April, 2017. 11:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After being dumped by Sky Television late last week after a string of controversial comments, former Labor leader Mark Latham has vowed to take his Outsiders programme online – using the power of the internet superhighway to reach his devoted followers. The 56-year-old has reportedly […]

“Apart From When I Said Aboriginals Eat Their Own Babies, When’ve I Ever Been Racist?”

“Apart From When I Said Aboriginals Eat Their Own Babies, When’ve I Ever Been Racist?”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact One Nation senators yesterday claimed that race-hate speech laws are protecting Muslim criminals, because everyday citizens are unable to abuse every Muslim come across. Following on from this, party leader Pauline Hanson called out “lefty” thought police, while also denying she had ever been a racist. While delivering a statement to […]

1 2 3 29