LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A shopping basket is raising lots of questions today as a local uni student loads up for their weekly shop.
Standing in front of a wall of instant cake mixes, ice cream toppings and waffle cones, first year criminology student Erika Hayes looks like she might be baking for a fundraising morning tea.
But after rummaging through the boxes of jelly crystals on the lowest shelf and stacking her trolley with an assortment of flavours ranging from lime to raspberry to berry blue, it’s believed Erika is about to either host a Corey Worthington level house party or is due to get her wisdoms cranked out.
Used to make either vodka jelly shots or a dessert suitable for war time, jelly crystals are rarely seen in the reusable shopping bags of Australia’s youth, unless of course a pretty hectic house warming is on the cards.
But speaking to the Supermarket Queen herself, The Advocate can reveal that Erika is actually stocking up for both.
“Yep our house warming is this Friday. Open invite. We’ve got about 100 who have RSVP’d and most of them want to bring a plus one,” Erika told our reporter.
“It’s in a three bedroom terrace in the French Quarter, one of my new housemates is a DJ so might as well kiss our $2000 bond goodbye now…”
Asked how many jelly shots she was hoping to mix before the big night, Erika told our reporter that not all of the fluorescent pink crystals would be getting mixed up with Ruskov vodka and Skittles.
“I’ve going to make about 200 jelly shots and then keep the rest of the strawberry mix for next week, I’m getting two impacted wisdoms yanked out.”
“I can’t eat solid food for a week afters, so hopefully there’ll be some shots left after the house party.
Surely vodka and local anaesthetic is a good mix right?”
More to come.
