EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A Betoota Ponds woman has this weekend made a shocking discovery just one month into a relationship, which now sees her questioning if her new boyfriend Josh is a bit of a freak – and not the fun kind.
It’s alleged the incident occurred early Sunday morning, when a very hungover Deena Volp found herself imploring Josh to get the fuck back into bed – seeing as neither one of them was operating on more than three hours sleep.
Recounting Saturday nights activities, Deena tells our reporter that the two of them had stayed up until 3am at a friends’ housewarming party, and that she’d naturally assumed they’d both have a lie in until at least 10am, and then spend the rest of the days eating their weight in carbs whilst watching some comfort movies.
Unfortunately for Deena, it appears that Josh is one of those freakishly productive hungover people who are unnervingly energetic and chipper at 6am.
Which frankly, is just psychotic.
“He got up at 6am for a jog. A fucking JOG!?”, says Deena, looking utterly disgusted, “then when he got home, I could hear him cleaning the lounge room?”
“Here I am, just trying to concentrate on breathing through my mouth, and he’s running errands.”
“Then he comes into the room doing the whole ‘it’s such a beautiful day blah blah blah.”
“LET ME ROT IN PEACE.”
More to come.