WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Scientists and researchers in the field of health, wellness and longevity have today been told to head to Betoota Heights.
While the unusual request might seem perplexing to anyone familiar with the project home capital of the Channel Country, scientists have been told they’ll find a modern miracle if they make the trip.
The modern miracle in question is 63 year old Australian man Hwan Park.
While at first glance the Busan born tiler is rather unremarkable, as anyone who has seen the great man at work can tell you, once he gets on the tools he is simply incredible.
Despite the fact Hwan eats more cigarettes than vegetables and seems to only hydrate himself with sugary tea and soft drink, the father of 3 has an incredible physical ability.
The career tiler is able to squat far deeper, for far long than anyone who attends any of Betoota’s fancy gyms.
A combination of pure dad and tradie strength, Hwan also is able to crab walk for an extended period of time, while holding any number of heavily weighted things.
When asked how he manages to stay so strong, fit and agile at an age when many are leaving the work force, Hwan laughed.
“I don’t know what the big deal is,” said Hwan.
“I have no idea what the hell this plyometric thing is you are talking about?”
“Is it waterproofing? Or some new Chinese tiling adhesive?”
When asked about how he’s just generally healthy at his age, he laughed again.
“Good food. Good drink. Good cigarette. Good family.”
“That is all you need.”
While that is yet to be confirmed, it’s believed Blue Zone researchers are currently on the way to the Channel Country.
