Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some news that proves that fashion trends have a funny way of coming full circle, it can now be confirmed that the best way to figure out if a man the marrying kind, is to take a look at his feet, it’s reported. Though the idea that women were scandalised in the 18th century for showing ankle has...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIf you’d told Tiah Richards that she’d one day miss hearing about Jada Pinkett-Smith’s sexual exploits on a daily basis, there’s no way she should believe you. But now, after being bombarded with the never ending barrage of awful news surrounding the Israeli-Palestine conflict, nation’s women being murdered, the cost of living crisis, and the constant reminder that she...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The nation's wealthiest person is set to receive a $300 credit towards their power bill from the 1st of July this year. Gina Rinehart, renown mining magnate, businesswoman and generous sponsor of The Betoota Advocate's cricket team, has told our reporter this morning via wireless telephone that the relief is welcome and she might even...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A leading figure in Far South West Queensland's university sector has both slammed and lashed the government's decision to put a cap on their cash cows, telling The Advocate that students from overseas largely keep the sector profitable. Betoota University Vice-Chancellor Bill Frost said the university only really breaks even on domestic students, and international...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact An absolute sesh gremlin has this week been accused of lying by omission, after an overdue visit to the dentist saw his extracurricular activities on full display, it’s reported. Arriving at the Betoota Ponds Dentistry at 9:15am this morning, the routine check and clean saw Josh Riley, 25, being diagnosed with a case of ‘bruxism’ - a grinding and...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA couple of new dads were spotted painting the town red this weekend, after they were finally able to tee up a rare night off from the responsibilities of parenthood. The blokes are said to have kick started their Saturday night with some beers at ‘The Whistling Pot’ bar, with witnesses reporting they were churning through on average, four...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woo girl partaking in kick ons has been dutifully nicknamed ‘The Woolies Scanner’, due to her annoying habit of both incessantly pestering for a bag, and making her freezing woes everyone else’s problem. Said woo girl, Maya Leichardt, 24, is reported to have joined in on some hospo kickons after her shift last night, which saw her...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A city-dwelling couple, sick of being locked out of the property market in the big smoke, made a stunning discovery today. There is a place they haven't been looking to buy a home: Regional Australia. Cheap property dots the hills and valleys, with abundant services and high-quality infrastructure. Professional jobs are everywhere. "Why didn't anyone tell us...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTAs social algorithms across the country continue to be flooded with news stories that range from horrendous to heinous to appalling, a Kiwi from Taranaki has emerged as possibly the only bright light in the dark world of 2024. Tim Myers, a 30-year-old professional gambler who goes by the handle @tim.naki, has shot to fame in recent...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA mother is grinning and a local bloke is gloating this morning after arriving at Mother’s Day lunch with an incredibly lavish bunch of flowers. The middle child of the Denson family, Duncan (34) usually turns up to big family events with piss-poor presents, like a $2 card from the servo and a box of out-of-date Favourites. But...