In what seems to have become an annual tradition, local Arsenal fan Dave Thompson (28) has once again found himself drowning in a sea of excuses following his team’s epic collapse in the Premier League title race for the second consecutive year.

As one of those British expats living in Australia with an accent that doesn’t sound like Daniel Radcliffe’s – this deflated young Pom has already begun the particularly Northern English past time of hiding his heartbreak behind aggression and defensiveness.

With Arsenal’s dreams of clinching the league after a 20 year drought once again in ruins, Dave, like many of his fellow Gooners, has resorted to the time-honored practice of deflecting blame onto everything and everyone except the team itself.

“I mean, come on, look at all their corruption charges!” lamented Thompson.

“That’s not even bringing up how much money that artificial club in Manchester has to blow”

“They have no fans!”

Fans all over the footballing world have flocked to Arsenal affiliated social media pages to laugh at the fans who were claiming they were one of the best clubs in Europe only a couple months ago.

“All these United and Chelsea fans laughing at us like they didn’t finish outside of the top 4. How can they take themselves seriously.?! It’s not funny!” Thompson said while frantically responding to every anti-Arsenal comment on the Arsenal Instagram page.

As the rest of the footballing world looks forward to another summer of transfer speculation and managerial changes, Dave remains confident that 2025 will be the year Arsenal finally lift the Premier League trophy.


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