Sports

Stress Of Grand Final Disaster Causes Peter Sterling’s Hair To Grow Back

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Parramatta Eels legend Peter Sterling is looking at the silver lining of tonight's game, he told The Advocate just moments ago. "It's been stressful," he said. "To say the very least." The Penrith Panthers are just moments away from becoming the second team in the professional era to secure back-to-back premierships after the Roosters. "Well look, my hair...

Swans Fans Start Looking For The Exit; Nearest Bin To Place Their Brand New Eels Hat

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the Parramatta Eels' newest fans is already looking for the exit after scoring a few last-minute tickets to the NRL Grand Final as Penrith look to capitalise on a first-half walkover. In addition, the unnamed fan is keeping an eye out for the nearest bin to place his brand new Eels hat so...

Brad Arthur Finally Gets His Hands On A VHS Player To Show His Team The Last Parra Premiership

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe old TV and VCR unit has been wheeled out at Bankwest this week as Arthur prepares to inspire the boys by showing them the last time Parra won a premiership.Opening the dusty old Parra trophy cabinet for the first time since someone removed that Jarryd Hayne portrait, Arthur found the taped VHS copy of the 1986 grand...

Gutho Arrives Late For Final Training Run After Staying Up All Night Watching Heartbreak High

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTTrouble is brewing in the Eels camp as captain Clinton ‘Gutho’ Gutherson has shown up late to a crucial pre-grand final training session. Rocking up two and half hours late to the training session, reports state the Eels skipper appeared unkempt and baggy-eyed as if he’d just been out for a big one.But it wasn’t nerves or the turps...

Young Child At Grand Final About To Learn Some New Fucken Ways Of Expressing Both Joy And Disappointment

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn a story we haven’t reported on in about 50 minutes, the NRL grand final between Penrith and Parramatta is kicking off this evening to a sold out crowd.One member of the sold out crowd is Parra fan Matilda Stone who at only five years old has never seen her team win a premiership, as is also the...

Raiders Fans Torn Between Supporting Arrogant Panthers Or Having The Longest Premiership Drought

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAlthough not mandatory, supporters of the 14 footy clubs that don’t make the grand final will usually pick one team to cheer for during the big dance.This year, lovers of an underdog story are cheering for Parra while lovers of aqua golf are cheering for Penno. Yet one fanbase is stuck making a tricky 2019 federal election style...

Local Bloke Files For Bankruptcy After Shouting A Round Of Plastic Schooeys At Sydney Olympic Park

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA modern Prometheus has learnt a painful lesson today after shouting a round at Sydney Olympic Park.Rocking up to the stadium that has had more name changes than a drama student with twice-divorced parents, Lauchlan Chalk (43) offered to shout his mates a round of drinks ahead of watching Caitlan ‘The Fridge’ Johnston carve it up in the...

Isaiah Papili’i To Throw A Few Head Highs To Further Delay First Tigers Game

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTParramatta Eels second rower Isaiah Papili’i is preparing for the NRL Grand Final against arch rivals the Penrith Panthers.A twice crowned winner of the Da Vinci Code-esque VB Hard Earned Index, Papili’i is one of the unsung battlers of the game causing footy pundits to discuss how criminally underrated he is every week. Taking his team to their first...

Battle Of The West To Decide Which NRL Club Gets To Claim The Tuscan Plains Of Blacktown Once And For All

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn case you’ve been living under a footy-free rock, the first ever western derby grand final will be taking place between next-door rivals, the Penrith Panthers and Parramatta Eels.A lot is at stake in this premiership match as these longstanding rivals get ready to face each other in the grand final for the first time in history.Not only...

Hindy Once Again Quietly Concerned His Beloved Eels Are A Chance Of Winning The Comp Without Him

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 330-game NRL legend Nathan Hindmarsh (49) is reportedly growing very nervous ahead of the Grand Final between the Parramatta Eels and The Penrith Panthers on Sunday night. Ten seasons since he hung up the boots, the Parramatta Eels have become well known for their ability to lift out of nowhere in the final throws of the season - as...

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